"You know that you are in Italy when...."
 

Hi folks!according to the original thread started on Middle East forum then followed by our Latino Americanos colleagues i hope that you will give your contribute to the growth of the italian version so.... you know that you are in Italy when...

-For being a smartass with the female ATC you get High and fast 10 nm on final
-Your company hires you,orders 50 airplanes and after 6th months you find yourself unemployed and your company bankrupted!
-When you fly with a former military pilot and you have to call him your Highness or Majesty at least
-When you go in the southern part of Italy or you fly back from there pax come on board with wheeled kitchens and 20 litres cans of olive oil or melanzane
-when the atc tells you to keep 300kts below fl100 and abeam the marker tells you "i will take you through the localizer :eek::eek::eek:":E

keep going please

"You know that you are in Italy when...."
 

-Previous sector slows you to minimum clean 80 miles out, next frequency clears you high speed direct FN locator... :}

Roma rocc!

-when atc requests a speed reduction for traffic, you ignore it, and the next sector instructs you high speed to the loc (Rome Atc)
-when Atis (Fco) has two frequencies for 3 rwys. So if you don't want to listen to both, get the rwy in use from Atc then go to the appropriate Atis
-when you have to be released by handling before you can ask for engine start (still Fco)
-when "give way" becomes "let pass" (lassa passa') (Fco ground)

this is italy 100%..
:E

- When the First Officer asks to the Captain for flap 1 and the captain say that it is too early and after 3 seconds say that now it is the right time! :E

- When 3 miles on final the purser calls to ask if she gave already the "cabin secure"

- When you are with ROMA ATC.. you can be pretty sure to be in Italy.
(per tutti quelli sopra)

- When you hear an AZ crew arguing with ATC, beacause when they are abroad they cannot speak english properly.:E

When you are given a "modified base" realizing that after a couple of decades in aviation there are still things you hear for the first time...

When nobody asks for nor is at all interested in the fact that you have the latest ATIS....

When they make you hold for 15 mins waiting for someone to depart from the opposite runway (BGY) reversing the widespread belief that the aircraft in the air has priority over the one happily sitting on the ground.....

When you don't know which runway you will land on when at 12nm on finals (MXP)....

When you have to wait for the handling company to "release the flight" before you can ask for engine start making the word of a 20 years old temporary worker with nose piercings more trustworthy than the one of a senior long haul Captain with a few years to go before retirement (FCO,BGY....)....

When you hear sms interference when ATC keys that mic....

"You know that you are in Italy when...."
 

-When ATC request your speed you lie, blatantly subtracting 50 knots from your IAS

-When 16 is in use in FCO all is well, but when they switch to 34 all hell breaks loose and they inexplicably start handing out two hour slots

-Padova automatically requests you descend FL240, regardless of your destination

-When you request a shortcut "in order to avoid", in actual fact it is to avoid further delay as there is not a CB in the whole FIR

-While being "vectored" by MXP ATC on "downwind" you look down and see Genova

-When you actually understand when the controller uses phrases like "twenti degris bai da rait" or "modified beis"

"You know that you are in Italy when...."
 

-When the non-AZ pilots never miss a chance to have a dig at their AZ colleagues! (chip on the shoulder, Riu?)

main_dog you meant the former AZ pilots right?To my knowledge AZ is an extinct species....officially at least!

Hey no bad feelings!!!:p

ovviamente era fatta apposta...:E sentivo la mancanza di qualcuno che mi dicesse che sono invidioso di qualcosa! almeno me la rido da solo dai

"You know that you are in Italy when...."
 

-When you can fly from Stockholm all the way across europe on the same squawk code, but then from Palermo to Milan you get three different transponder settings

-When "2435 coming down" is standard phraseology

-When ANY PPRUNE thread becomes an excuse for a slagging match between AZ and non-AZ pilots!:}

(E chi se la prende ragazzi... io ex-AZ lo ero gia' prima...)

- When on an ifr training flight to Linate you are told to expect your ifr clearance with 30 minutes of delay due to heavy ifr traffic when the only traffic in the area is over Genova al FL300

"You know that you are in Italy when...."
 

-When the CB that lives over BENTO in Naples seems like an old friend

-When with only four airplanes in the TMA the controller sounds like a major emergency is taking place, and starts using "BREAK-BREAK" between all his transmissions

-When the AZ MD80 taxying on the parallel taxiway is doing 80 knots... in the corners

-When the Brit on frequency can't pronounce "Brindisi" to save his life

-When you know the location of "la curva Fievo"

-When 99 times out of 100 the "Finanziere" at customs doesn't even look up from his "Gazzetta dello Sport" when you walk by, then when his supervisor comes for an inspection suddenly no item in your flightbag is left unturned

-When four aircraft in front of you on 25 in FCO can mean 20 minutes delay, the next day the controller is clearing aircraft "take-off after, keep in sight" and gets 20 airborne in four minutes

- When 2 nm on final to Turin on a PA28 at 150 kts, about twice the speed you should have, you are told to maintain high speed due to separation, just to find out after the go around that the following traffic still has to reach TOP

-When you know the location of "la curva Fievo"

curva Flebus

"You know that you are in Italy when...."
 

-When on a regular line flight you can't get stairs, pax bus, external power or chocks to save your life, but when you fly the pope suddenly everything works more efficiently than Lufthansa on a good day

-When at least one acre of trees must be cut down to produce sufficient paper for all the NOTAMS, some expired of course

-When at least once, while boarding, you have heard a Milanese passenger respond to the purser's "buongiorno" with "buongiorno un ca##o!"

-When you suddenly notice the airport is deserted and realize that it's because Italy is playing: if you're caught on the ground you're stranded, if you're in the air the freq will go very quiet, except if the Azzurri score

-When ATC talks down to the Italian general aviation pilot like a smelly dogturd, while the foreign GA pilot with the impeccable English/American accent is treated extremely politely

-When BA asks "say again" at every clearance

-When the person saying "blocked" blocks the person saying "two stations"

-When not only the other posters on the thread know where the "Flebus" corner is, but they even correct your spelling! ;) (grazie "sonnolente", non sapevo come si scrivesse)

- When the background noise coming from the television in the Tower is so loud that your landing clearance is totally unreadable.

- When any request for a shortcut is greeted with "co-ordeenation een progress".

- When one minute before off-blocks the dispatcher finally appears and says "Capteen capteen, seestem is down you make manwal load-sheet".

- When delayed by making said load-sheet the dispatcher pleads "On time Capteen on time?"

- When three times the quantity of luggage is carried into the cabin as goes into the cargo hold.

- When the Cabin Attendants draw their galley curtains 2 minutes after take-off and they are not seen again till 2 minutes before landing.

- When the noise of seatbelts being unfastened and phones being switched on as soon as the wheels hit the ground can be heard by planes waiting at the holding point.

- When an airline which went bust in '04, '05, '06 and '07 happily reappears alongside you on the apron in '08.

Still a great place and great people....love it!

-When to fill a flight plan and get it accepted takes you longer than the flight itself, and once you get airborne ATC tells you they have never got it...

-When milano radar vectors you in such a modified base for a Linate ils that you could even regognise Venice a couple of miles ahead

-When a briefing at SSH starts with "Runway is dry....
-When ATC gives a **** if your readback is correct or not
-When ATC sounds like sitting in an other room
-when ATC stops transmission, but hasnt finished to speak
-when on a flight from MXP to CTA you get max FL 270
-when every take off clearance comes with "after T/O squak ident"
-when you need a release by appron for start up, because otherwise the italian pilots call for start 10minb before the pax are coming

-when there is always time for a coffe, no matter how much delay you have


-when AZ is bankrupt since 2004...but still flying.

-when what ever you say, you still love to fly and work here.:ok:

Ma questo thread vuole essere una cosa da ridere oppure è una presa per il c.lo all'Italia? :suspect:

when...


- the rolling takeoff can be really called "rolling takeoff" only if an AZ md80 is doing that, entering the runway at 80 knots ;) (I love your immediate departure guys)

- the easyjet always requests the opposite runway for departure "due to performance" and they never get ready for departure before clearance expires :ok:

- the above easyjet is told to wait at least two days to use the opposite runway, regardless of the traffic conditions :}

- the AZ requests opposite runway for dep due to performance and when you say "25 minutes delay" they always recognize they can take the right runway (maybe because they can instantly change their engines, who knows) :ok:

- when every morning the first thing you smell entering that tower is the coffe coming out from the "moka" :ok:

- the ATC asks to a CRJ pilot if he's able for the approach, being at FL170 4 miles before BENTO (where the old CB someone has been talking before is still waiting) and he answer "of course" and arrives at 8 miles final too high and too fast, and requests a 360 :ok:

- the standard phraseology to request a visual approach is "see ma io de qua vedo tutto, mica posso annà a vista??"

- the handling society says the flight is released for start up and push back and you can still see passengers entering the plane

- the german planes requests the longest SID to see the vesuvio from above :ok:

- police copters think they can do whatever they want, they can even cross the field with someone 2 miles on final, just because "hey man we're the police"


I love the "bel paese"

....When you call Ground for pushback and at the 3rd time you hear "station calling?"...

When there is no room in the overhead lockers for baggage because it's full of panettone and parmigiana

not only aviation topics guys....

-when you stop at traffic signal...exactly in the middle of the streets cross:ok:
-When police stops a girl who drove talking on her mobile without the seat belt fastened but is released because of her biiiigggg boobs
-when you go to the postal office spending there extra time because the oldies fill their paperworks only when in front of the desk
- when the atc tells you rocccccc instead of roger
-when your welfare and your government work so good that you find yourself at home with your parents at 40 yrs old
-when roster office considers you it's geisha or slave because of your short term contract as well as your boss:{
-when you refuse to leave your phone switched on during your days off and you are fired at the sim(tipical italian way)
-when you are on the highway with the traffic jammed and many cars use the emergency lane to go through:{
-when parking your car where it is not allowed becomes normal until the police won't see you
-when you are not allowed to go into a club because all of you are men and there are no girls:sad:

AHAHHAHAHAHAH.. questa mi ha fatto ridere!

mau mau si e' la presa per il **** dell'italia, problemi?

ciccio camomillati, che qua non sono io ad avere dei problemi, caso mai mi interesserebbe sapere se esiste da qualche parte un bestiario di tutte le fregnacce che sparano i piloti quando invece pensano di essere così tanto fighi.

mau mau
sei un pilota?

...When pilots ignore speed limit point and speed costraint.

...When pilots ignore speed reduction istructions.

...When pilots ask to direct routing to avoid.....nothing!

...When pilots complain about early descent.

...when pilots continuosly ask for direct routing though controller is very busy.

...when pilots start to talk regardless someone else is already on the frequency.

...When pilots request rwy change on final due to their parking positions.

When me and my crew go through security emptying our pockets from coins, putting mobile phones and metal wrist watches under the x-ray scanner while a bunch of baggage handlers from every corner of Africa and the middle east pass setting off every aural warning under the careless supervision of a "Gazzetta dello sport" security staff reader who couldn't care less about what one could bring airside; but when it comes to checking our flight licences & passports they suddenly become very pedantic pretending they know how a flight crew licence looks like....

When you go to CAG and ATC is a complete casino: doesn't give the wx, doesn't give the expected arrival, changes the procedure from a straight in to a circle to land to the opposite rwy at the last moment, when you request start up they give it to you but then you wait at the holding point burning fuel for 25 minutes and when a couple of military jets in Decimomannu are in the area it's even worse!

Ciao i problemi elencati ci sono....pero non mi sembra il caso che la gente straniera vola qui in italia debba sputare nel piatto nel quale sta mangiando.
Se non ti piace la mainestra salta la finestra:=

mau mau ma sei un pilota o un wannabe pilota?

- when in the clearance they never give you the DEP frequency so you have to guess and...it always turns out to be the wrong one.
- when you hear "stop before" or "maintain before" instead of "hold short of"
- when you still haven't got your clearance and you are already at the holding point
- when you hear "cleared for takeoff, squawk ident, airborne at 13:43" instead of a much more useful "wind 230/12, cleared for takeoff"
- when you have to level off at 4000' and drag around for long minutes before succeeding in contacting DEP and obtaining a higher altitude because of chaotic r/t where everybody steps on eachother both in italian and english
- when you cannot get a higher level until in contact with Marseille or Swiss regardless of traffic because making a phonecall to Rome is hard work
- when you hear "climb three zero zero" instead of "3 hundred"
- when you hear "turn right,right heading 240" as if a turn could be done 2 times or "turn 10 degrees by the left" as if they were giving directions to a driver who should turn by the gas station
- when you hear "on the radar" at first contact with the next sector instead of "radar contact"
- when they give you an enroute vector and you have to remind them you are still on heading 10 minutes later after they forgot about you
- when they tell you to slow down to 270kts and you are already at 250kts
- when they send you to CMP, then forget about you and when you tell them you will enter the hold they freak out and immediately give you vectors or a 360 turn
- when they give you descent instructions to an altitude and always forget to give you the QNH...or QUEBEC NOVEMBER HOTEL as they like to call it
- when one controller gives you a speed reduction and the next high speed or vice versa
- when they give you vectors for "delay action"....??????
- when they "modify your base"
- when you have to ask them if you are cleared for the approach just before intercepting the LOC
- when you have to step on somebody's transmission on short final to get your landing clearance and avoid a goaround
- when you have to hold position before entering the apron waiting for a followme car that will take you to a stand just in front of you
- when if following the senseless signals of the marshaller you would probably end up crashing into some ground equipment or the terminal building itself (I always follow the taxilines regardless of those guys' folkshow)

Finally, when after work you go out and hit the bars and restaurants you forget all that aviation mess with what's surely the best place to eat,drink,socialize and have a good time.

Italy..
 

When ready to start you call the ground and say :
" AB123 ready for stand-by "
and ATC reply is :" Stand-by !! "

Nick 1

You know you are in Italy when:

When after you duty you can get better food then a ready meal from TESCO (chi non li ha provati non puo` capire):yuk:

When you can see the difference between summer and winter, spring and autumn.

When for doing something like skiing, swimming or do something nice in general you DON`T have to get in to a plane for 2 hours and fly to Italy.

When after landing you DON`T have to que up for 1 hour to show your passport.

When you can get a fu..ing beer at 3AM

When is the men chasing the girls.. and not the other way around!!

and last but most important, When you are not called MATE by everybody.. I`m not your bloody mate.

Take care, cheers MATE

Lazy Skip, I would have thought you would be at least as lazy as me:

In fact as long as they are not too ugly I don't mind it at all MATE

Speevy

@ Lazy skip:ok: But its a realy fu**ing beer you get in italy...at any time!

You know you are in Italy when...
 

Mau Mau, Apollo, il senso del 3d e' goliardico, simile ad altri su Latin American Forum o African Forum... per la serie ridiamoci su! Io non lavoro piu' in Italia ma mi manca...:{

Tarjet, il mio innato senso di pignoleria m'impone di far notare che "Climb FL T(h)ree zero zero" e' perfettamente ICAO-standard... "hundred" e' solo per la perfida albione ed affini che adottano CAP413 :}. Detto questo e' forse l'unica cosa standard che si dice in Italia!! (Roma rocc)

You know you are in Italy when ATC in english asks the local Italian AG pilot doing circuits his intentions on the third approach.

Answer: "I-ABCD will do finait" (finito). :rolleyes:

Heard on frequency today, still laughing.

You know you are in Italy when...
 

-When passenger asks flight attendant "Ue' le cresce mica un corsera?"

-When, stuck somewhere with a huge slot because destination Linate is fogged in, Milanese businessman pax tells everybody you're lying because his driver waiting for him at the airport just told him "it's fine"!

-When three out of four infant lifejackets and extension belts distributed are kept as "souvenirs" at the end of the flight

-Where a flight attendant like "principino" can and did serve the flag carrier for an entire career (retired AZ flight attendant famous for his manners... like the time he threw a meal onto a passenger's table, and when the passenger asked whether he had a choice, meaning chicken or fish, Principino answered "yep you can eat or you can starve"... or the time a rather overweight American lady passenger asked him for a diet coke and he answered "Madam, it's too late")

:}:}:}