"You know that you are in Italy when...."
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Somewhere in Italy
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when...
- the rolling takeoff can be really called "rolling takeoff" only if an AZ md80 is doing that, entering the runway at 80 knots
(I love your immediate departure guys)
- the easyjet always requests the opposite runway for departure "due to performance" and they never get ready for departure before clearance expires
- the above easyjet is told to wait at least two days to use the opposite runway, regardless of the traffic conditions
- the AZ requests opposite runway for dep due to performance and when you say "25 minutes delay" they always recognize they can take the right runway (maybe because they can instantly change their engines, who knows)
- when every morning the first thing you smell entering that tower is the coffe coming out from the "moka"
- the ATC asks to a CRJ pilot if he's able for the approach, being at FL170 4 miles before BENTO (where the old CB someone has been talking before is still waiting) and he answer "of course" and arrives at 8 miles final too high and too fast, and requests a 360
- the standard phraseology to request a visual approach is "see ma io de qua vedo tutto, mica posso annà a vista??"
- the handling society says the flight is released for start up and push back and you can still see passengers entering the plane
- the german planes requests the longest SID to see the vesuvio from above
- police copters think they can do whatever they want, they can even cross the field with someone 2 miles on final, just because "hey man we're the police"
I love the "bel paese"
- the rolling takeoff can be really called "rolling takeoff" only if an AZ md80 is doing that, entering the runway at 80 knots
(I love your immediate departure guys)- the easyjet always requests the opposite runway for departure "due to performance" and they never get ready for departure before clearance expires
- the above easyjet is told to wait at least two days to use the opposite runway, regardless of the traffic conditions
- the AZ requests opposite runway for dep due to performance and when you say "25 minutes delay" they always recognize they can take the right runway (maybe because they can instantly change their engines, who knows)
- when every morning the first thing you smell entering that tower is the coffe coming out from the "moka"
- the ATC asks to a CRJ pilot if he's able for the approach, being at FL170 4 miles before BENTO (where the old CB someone has been talking before is still waiting) and he answer "of course" and arrives at 8 miles final too high and too fast, and requests a 360
- the standard phraseology to request a visual approach is "see ma io de qua vedo tutto, mica posso annà a vista??"
- the handling society says the flight is released for start up and push back and you can still see passengers entering the plane
- the german planes requests the longest SID to see the vesuvio from above
- police copters think they can do whatever they want, they can even cross the field with someone 2 miles on final, just because "hey man we're the police"
I love the "bel paese"
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
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not only aviation topics guys....
-when you stop at traffic signal...exactly in the middle of the streets cross
-When police stops a girl who drove talking on her mobile without the seat belt fastened but is released because of her biiiigggg boobs
-when you go to the postal office spending there extra time because the oldies fill their paperworks only when in front of the desk
- when the atc tells you rocccccc instead of roger
-when your welfare and your government work so good that you find yourself at home with your parents at 40 yrs old
-when roster office considers you it's geisha or slave because of your short term contract as well as your boss
-when you refuse to leave your phone switched on during your days off and you are fired at the sim(tipical italian way)
-when you are on the highway with the traffic jammed and many cars use the emergency lane to go through
-when parking your car where it is not allowed becomes normal until the police won't see you
-when you are not allowed to go into a club because all of you are men and there are no girls
-when you stop at traffic signal...exactly in the middle of the streets cross
-When police stops a girl who drove talking on her mobile without the seat belt fastened but is released because of her biiiigggg boobs
-when you go to the postal office spending there extra time because the oldies fill their paperworks only when in front of the desk
- when the atc tells you rocccccc instead of roger
-when your welfare and your government work so good that you find yourself at home with your parents at 40 yrs old
-when roster office considers you it's geisha or slave because of your short term contract as well as your boss
-when you refuse to leave your phone switched on during your days off and you are fired at the sim(tipical italian way)
-when you are on the highway with the traffic jammed and many cars use the emergency lane to go through
-when parking your car where it is not allowed becomes normal until the police won't see you
-when you are not allowed to go into a club because all of you are men and there are no girls
Join Date: Jul 2006
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-When with only four airplanes in the TMA the controller sounds like a major emergency is taking place, and starts using "BREAK-BREAK" between all his transmissions
AHAHHAHAHAHAH.. questa mi ha fatto ridere!
mau mau si e' la presa per il **** dell'italia, problemi?
Join Date: Dec 2006
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mau mau si e' la presa per il **** dell'italia, problemi?
Join Date: Apr 2005
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...When pilots ignore speed limit point and speed costraint.
...When pilots ignore speed reduction istructions.
...When pilots ask to direct routing to avoid.....nothing!
...When pilots complain about early descent.
...when pilots continuosly ask for direct routing though controller is very busy.
...when pilots start to talk regardless someone else is already on the frequency.
...When pilots request rwy change on final due to their parking positions.
...When pilots ignore speed reduction istructions.
...When pilots ask to direct routing to avoid.....nothing!
...When pilots complain about early descent.
...when pilots continuosly ask for direct routing though controller is very busy.
...when pilots start to talk regardless someone else is already on the frequency.
...When pilots request rwy change on final due to their parking positions.
Join Date: Aug 2000
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When me and my crew go through security emptying our pockets from coins, putting mobile phones and metal wrist watches under the x-ray scanner while a bunch of baggage handlers from every corner of Africa and the middle east pass setting off every aural warning under the careless supervision of a "Gazzetta dello sport" security staff reader who couldn't care less about what one could bring airside; but when it comes to checking our flight licences & passports they suddenly become very pedantic pretending they know how a flight crew licence looks like....
Join Date: Mar 2008
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When you go to CAG and ATC is a complete casino: doesn't give the wx, doesn't give the expected arrival, changes the procedure from a straight in to a circle to land to the opposite rwy at the last moment, when you request start up they give it to you but then you wait at the holding point burning fuel for 25 minutes and when a couple of military jets in Decimomannu are in the area it's even worse!
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Ciao i problemi elencati ci sono....pero non mi sembra il caso che la gente straniera vola qui in italia debba sputare nel piatto nel quale sta mangiando.
Se non ti piace la mainestra salta la finestra
Se non ti piace la mainestra salta la finestra
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- when in the clearance they never give you the DEP frequency so you have to guess and...it always turns out to be the wrong one.
- when you hear "stop before" or "maintain before" instead of "hold short of"
- when you still haven't got your clearance and you are already at the holding point
- when you hear "cleared for takeoff, squawk ident, airborne at 13:43" instead of a much more useful "wind 230/12, cleared for takeoff"
- when you have to level off at 4000' and drag around for long minutes before succeeding in contacting DEP and obtaining a higher altitude because of chaotic r/t where everybody steps on eachother both in italian and english
- when you cannot get a higher level until in contact with Marseille or Swiss regardless of traffic because making a phonecall to Rome is hard work
- when you hear "climb three zero zero" instead of "3 hundred"
- when you hear "turn right,right heading 240" as if a turn could be done 2 times or "turn 10 degrees by the left" as if they were giving directions to a driver who should turn by the gas station
- when you hear "on the radar" at first contact with the next sector instead of "radar contact"
- when they give you an enroute vector and you have to remind them you are still on heading 10 minutes later after they forgot about you
- when they tell you to slow down to 270kts and you are already at 250kts
- when they send you to CMP, then forget about you and when you tell them you will enter the hold they freak out and immediately give you vectors or a 360 turn
- when they give you descent instructions to an altitude and always forget to give you the QNH...or QUEBEC NOVEMBER HOTEL as they like to call it
- when one controller gives you a speed reduction and the next high speed or vice versa
- when they give you vectors for "delay action"....??????
- when they "modify your base"
- when you have to ask them if you are cleared for the approach just before intercepting the LOC
- when you have to step on somebody's transmission on short final to get your landing clearance and avoid a goaround
- when you have to hold position before entering the apron waiting for a followme car that will take you to a stand just in front of you
- when if following the senseless signals of the marshaller you would probably end up crashing into some ground equipment or the terminal building itself (I always follow the taxilines regardless of those guys' folkshow)
Finally, when after work you go out and hit the bars and restaurants you forget all that aviation mess with what's surely the best place to eat,drink,socialize and have a good time.
- when you hear "stop before" or "maintain before" instead of "hold short of"
- when you still haven't got your clearance and you are already at the holding point
- when you hear "cleared for takeoff, squawk ident, airborne at 13:43" instead of a much more useful "wind 230/12, cleared for takeoff"
- when you have to level off at 4000' and drag around for long minutes before succeeding in contacting DEP and obtaining a higher altitude because of chaotic r/t where everybody steps on eachother both in italian and english
- when you cannot get a higher level until in contact with Marseille or Swiss regardless of traffic because making a phonecall to Rome is hard work
- when you hear "climb three zero zero" instead of "3 hundred"
- when you hear "turn right,right heading 240" as if a turn could be done 2 times or "turn 10 degrees by the left" as if they were giving directions to a driver who should turn by the gas station
- when you hear "on the radar" at first contact with the next sector instead of "radar contact"
- when they give you an enroute vector and you have to remind them you are still on heading 10 minutes later after they forgot about you
- when they tell you to slow down to 270kts and you are already at 250kts
- when they send you to CMP, then forget about you and when you tell them you will enter the hold they freak out and immediately give you vectors or a 360 turn
- when they give you descent instructions to an altitude and always forget to give you the QNH...or QUEBEC NOVEMBER HOTEL as they like to call it
- when one controller gives you a speed reduction and the next high speed or vice versa
- when they give you vectors for "delay action"....??????
- when they "modify your base"
- when you have to ask them if you are cleared for the approach just before intercepting the LOC
- when you have to step on somebody's transmission on short final to get your landing clearance and avoid a goaround
- when you have to hold position before entering the apron waiting for a followme car that will take you to a stand just in front of you
- when if following the senseless signals of the marshaller you would probably end up crashing into some ground equipment or the terminal building itself (I always follow the taxilines regardless of those guys' folkshow)
Finally, when after work you go out and hit the bars and restaurants you forget all that aviation mess with what's surely the best place to eat,drink,socialize and have a good time.
Join Date: Sep 2007
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You know you are in Italy when:
When after you duty you can get better food then a ready meal from TESCO (chi non li ha provati non puo` capire)
When you can see the difference between summer and winter, spring and autumn.
When for doing something like skiing, swimming or do something nice in general you DON`T have to get in to a plane for 2 hours and fly to Italy.
When after landing you DON`T have to que up for 1 hour to show your passport.
When you can get a fu..ing beer at 3AM
When is the men chasing the girls.. and not the other way around!!
and last but most important, When you are not called MATE by everybody.. I`m not your bloody mate.
Take care, cheers MATE
When after you duty you can get better food then a ready meal from TESCO (chi non li ha provati non puo` capire)
When you can see the difference between summer and winter, spring and autumn.
When for doing something like skiing, swimming or do something nice in general you DON`T have to get in to a plane for 2 hours and fly to Italy.
When after landing you DON`T have to que up for 1 hour to show your passport.
When you can get a fu..ing beer at 3AM
When is the men chasing the girls.. and not the other way around!!
and last but most important, When you are not called MATE by everybody.. I`m not your bloody mate.
Take care, cheers MATE
Join Date: Oct 2002
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Lazy Skip, I would have thought you would be at least as lazy as me:
In fact as long as they are not too ugly I don't mind it at all MATE
Speevy
When is the men chasing the girls.. and not the other way around!!
Speevy
Join Date: Apr 2006
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You know you are in Italy when...
Mau Mau, Apollo, il senso del 3d e' goliardico, simile ad altri su Latin American Forum o African Forum... per la serie ridiamoci su! Io non lavoro piu' in Italia ma mi manca...
Tarjet, il mio innato senso di pignoleria m'impone di far notare che "Climb FL T(h)ree zero zero" e' perfettamente ICAO-standard... "hundred" e' solo per la perfida albione ed affini che adottano CAP413. Detto questo e' forse l'unica cosa standard che si dice in Italia!! (Roma rocc)
Tarjet, il mio innato senso di pignoleria m'impone di far notare che "Climb FL T(h)ree zero zero" e' perfettamente ICAO-standard... "hundred" e' solo per la perfida albione ed affini che adottano CAP413
. Detto questo e' forse l'unica cosa standard che si dice in Italia!! (Roma rocc)
Last edited by main_dog; 8th Dec 2008 at 21:47.
Join Date: Aug 2002
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You know you are in Italy when ATC in english asks the local Italian AG pilot doing circuits his intentions on the third approach.
Answer: "I-ABCD will do finait" (finito).
Heard on frequency today, still laughing.
Answer: "I-ABCD will do finait" (finito).
Heard on frequency today, still laughing.
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You know you are in Italy when...
-When passenger asks flight attendant "Ue' le cresce mica un corsera?"
-When, stuck somewhere with a huge slot because destination Linate is fogged in, Milanese businessman pax tells everybody you're lying because his driver waiting for him at the airport just told him "it's fine"!
-When three out of four infant lifejackets and extension belts distributed are kept as "souvenirs" at the end of the flight
-Where a flight attendant like "principino" can and did serve the flag carrier for an entire career (retired AZ flight attendant famous for his manners... like the time he threw a meal onto a passenger's table, and when the passenger asked whether he had a choice, meaning chicken or fish, Principino answered "yep you can eat or you can starve"... or the time a rather overweight American lady passenger asked him for a diet coke and he answered "Madam, it's too late")
-When, stuck somewhere with a huge slot because destination Linate is fogged in, Milanese businessman pax tells everybody you're lying because his driver waiting for him at the airport just told him "it's fine"!
-When three out of four infant lifejackets and extension belts distributed are kept as "souvenirs" at the end of the flight
-Where a flight attendant like "principino" can and did serve the flag carrier for an entire career (retired AZ flight attendant famous for his manners... like the time he threw a meal onto a passenger's table, and when the passenger asked whether he had a choice, meaning chicken or fish, Principino answered "yep you can eat or you can starve"... or the time a rather overweight American lady passenger asked him for a diet coke and he answered "Madam, it's too late")