My favourite Cathay pilot jokes are...
 

S/O's will leave!! They can't afford a family in HK, mate!

They don't have enough crew.. They f@cked it up completely.. They grounded flight XXX last week, no crew!!

The training system is about to collapse. They don't have the trainers. We will need XXX new pilots next year, no way we can manage that...



And my ALL TIME FAVOURITE, passed on from generation to generation:

Americans will leave. UPS is hiring.

So the continually disrupted rosters, all those long hauls leaving with 2 S/Os, all those flights with an incomplete crew on the roster until the day it leaves, those pleading CC calls telling you they've run out of guys on reserve are just a figment of my imagination?

Dammit. I wish someone had told me before I started spending all that imaginary overtime I'm getting every month...

Yonosoy,

Numero Crunchero did a calculation a while back as to how much money the company saves in paying you overtime vs hiring more crew, paying housing for them, medical etc. Your overtime, up to a point, is saving the company money.

I think it was around 96 hrs, ??????????, so until you average 96 hrs for the year, as does the entire pilot body, yes enjoy your overtime it is a good thing for the company.

and yet the show goes on somehow, and no its not because of g day workers, its because they can still manage the roster, however distasteful it may be to some.
:sad:


can't remember when I last flew overtime, so based on Numero's previous calcs, we still fat with crew…from a company viewpoint that is.:ugh:

"We are getting the -8I. It's a no brainer!!!!!"

The Cav:cool:

"We will get the A380 soon as we need the capacity"

"I'm going into training to make a change from the inside."

"C H is about to leave"

"S K is gone..."

"They do the roster manually because any automated rostering program is unable to cope due to insufficient crew"

If we vote no the company will give us a better offer!!

Contract compliance will bring us a better offer.

Contract compliance will grind the airline to a complete halt!

Management is stupid and don't know what they are doing!

Who ever said SK was gone? He is AT's boss.

"Safety is our priority" :confused:

It is probably very harmless but it gets said to me EVERY sector however it makes me chuckle :-

" Here is the CAR report for you to sign"

Response every time

"DID YOU SEND IT??"

Once again not a criticism just a funny observation!


The Cav

If hypothetically one did a random internet search on "Vice President HR Cathay", I wonder what it would return.:confused::confused::confused:

yes...safety is our priority...the best!!!!:ok:

...this is a non assessable sim session....:=

" I am sure I am correct in thinking that the leadership team of the HKAOA will be as disappointed as the company team at the outcome of the vote on pay."
:mad:

Some SO's did/have and will leave, CX couldn't plug the leak for a while, the count was up to 12 in one month.... That was a couple years back now.

When there's doubt, there is no doubt, just rip it off like a band aid.....

RA65 will reduce the time to command!
 

"Any change in retirement age is going to have little or no impact on promotion prospects." (crews news summer 2005 - DFO)

Current command on ASL - approx 1150 - time to command 13 years.

Current CNs 55 and over - almost 300.

Command point if RA55 still in force - 1450 -time to command 9.5years.


We all knew increased RA was inevitable - but really, do they think we were that stupid?

I will retire with 50 ( SO, 25 yrs ish)

I will probably retire next year ( CN, 55 yrs ish)

There's no money in Freight
:ok:

Yeah everyones pretty current so I'm going to take it...

"I heard they're going to be expanding the JFK base by (fill in some fantastic number)."

Long service leave will not affect us as this is a new company we are opening:ok:

Intimidation will not be tolerated...here is your first stage sick letter!:D

Load factor hit a record of 93% across the group, 2% below expectations with China's crackdown on corruption affecting our front end, and softening freight figures on the lead up to Christmas and fines for illegal price fixing tightening our rear end.

Even though we just made $3.4 billion dollars profit, times are tough and need to reduce costs.

"She really loves me, we have a lot in common, it's nothing to do with money" :ok:

We don't normally change a duty to reserve.:eek:

CX093 to ANC is departing on time.

It's a 63..... Number on the I phone.." Hey, hi, is that Steve...?"... "Yes..what's up?"...there's a brief period of confusion and non recognition.." Steve, how's things..."..."Fine..but who is this, I had a late night and kicking off today a little slow..."
"Steve, it's Eric..Eric from.....Crew Control..we just wondered......"

Can you help us out on a G day we have no one on reserve!:E

After every sim... "...now have the rest of the day off!"

First 3 words of the latest Friday Telex.......... "Today I'm happy".

The Friday Telex.

I feel like I'm 45 again.

I hear Ric is leaving.

The check and training joker system. ( don't give them anything, but lets take from the others)

"O" days. O = off day right.

As we enter the final quarter of 2014 it is difficult not to feel a level of disappointment

2008 - "The sky is falling, CX is doomed! Help us out by agreeing to SLS, sign up quickly and in return we will give you 25 years of housing." PS (gentlemen's agreement only - trust us!) " :ok:

"Getting hired by Cathay is the best thing that ever happened to me"
"I love waking up in the morning knowing I have to go fly the CX jets"
"The new hire Hong Kong Cabin Crew are awesome"
"RH doesn't know what his doing"
"The training department has cleaned up its acts - we only have reasonable trainers left now" :D:D

Yeager

If you didn't mean that, you wouldn't stay surely?

after a fleet forum with the preacher ".. it was good to see you all.." :p:D

"just some minor debrief points....."

"Usually when someone is sick with Ebola, they are so unwell that they cannot travel" - GMO (MH) :ok:

I never go on PPrune:E