Good idea, jump straight to the "threats"...

Whoops...it appears that an Emirates thread has inadvertently been dropped into the FH forum...

- ...this is a technique, not an SOP...
- Cathay/Singapore don't make any money
- blah blah blah I hate all the materialistic people in this place blah blah well my boat is moored blah blah cost a bit more but otherwise I'd have to drive for 15 minutes blah blah
- PF/PM: "ABSOLUTELY anything"; PM/PF: "Checked"

I can think of no others that haven't already been mentioned.

I take great reassurance in the knowledge that at least one other carrier is the same!

Hahahaha Silberfuchs I'm in tears. That's a good one!! :ok:

A scale Capt: 'Have a look at these photos of my castle and my Porsche in Somerset'

New S/O: 'Great. You should meet my Dad, he works for HM Revenue and Customs'

Silburfuchs that is brilliant. I got pinged on that one once as well but was not quite as witty as the above mentioned F/O

The Cav

Brilliant!!

The best so far IMHO.

1. "On behalf of myself........"
2. "As safety is our priority"
3. "Satvoice Lost"

"Cannot". "But I haven't asked you for anything yet":rolleyes:

"Your radios"
"You have control"
"No changes"

:ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

" I'll only work a few months past 55, a year at most...."

With obligatory head shaking " ... what's your DME distance"? As opposed to what? DME altitude/heading/speed?

"I don't want to nit pick, but ... "

"XXX, xx request"

-"I don't think we say that anymore.."

-"The correct mouthmusic is..."

:}

Captain who arrives at Dispatch: "Are we there yet? hahahah"

Never gets old....:ugh:

'check'.

Ever counted how many times this is used in a flight? We hit 55 without using checks or checked!

"In the upcoming FCOM3 revision we will do it this way... According to the Fleet Newsletter" :=

-"Any good rumours?"

-"So what did they say at the fleet forum?"

-"Are you happy if I [insert absolutely any cockpit activity as mundane as switching a logo light off]?"

(cont)......
4. The introduction of the EFB is imminent.
5. RETI saves fuel.
6. Tank to Engine. (no sh!t)

Pilot A "Who's doing your PC?"
Pilot B "<Checkers name>"
Pilot A "Ah Chopper/Slasher XXX, he's a great guy. I did my PC with him and he gave me lots of 5's"

Or...

Pilot A "Who's doing your PC?"
Pilot B "<Checkers name>"
Pilot A "Ah, he's a great guy, you'll have no worries"

:ugh::ugh:

This thread is killing me, what else am I going to talk about now?! At this rate we will all just be staring out into the darkness.

...are we there yet? :ok:

Captain to FO:

"They keep begging me to go into training...."

Oh and my favorite........"just play the game...."

''Did they clear us for the approach...?''

In the cabin crew vein...

'I'm so tirred I've been shopping'

'Arre we going to arrive earrrly I have to catch Maneela flight'

'Wah, you cockpit crew, always go to pub'

'I go Chinatow' eat noodle'

'I stay in my room, watch movie'

The surprising observation on arrival in Toronto in mid-winter, 'Wah, so cold!'

'I'm so sleepy!'

'Thank you for the flight'...I still haven't worked that one out.

'what's the arrival time'

it's still 0525 as it has been for last 12 F***ing hours!

Gold.
On that line...

FA: "random question to sound interested"
FO: "Well, I have two...."

Airbus door: "beep beep beep"

FO: "......kids, One is 6...."

FA: Out the door, not interested.

And that is why I left CX...
Great guys, 99% of the times, boring job as it could be.

Any changes?

My fave lines from F/O's

..."Oh.... I didn't realise that I don't have to answer my phone on G Days"

:ugh:

"I didn't want to do it but....."

:=


"....what do you mean did I do any research before joining?"

:ok::ok:

Briefing on the bus

Captain stands up, wobbly position, has to hold on because driving style and/or overweight condition/age

"Hello everybody" ( tries to sound enthusiastic and friendly, but still in charge/serious)

"Helloooo" (chorus, mainly first rows,slightly less enthusiastic)

" Welcome to XXX to XXX, Flight time XXX,this is F/O XX and maybe turbulent,maybe not, taxi short-long, weather at XXX XX degrees"

" Thank juuu" ( even less enthusiasic, zero new information, first row trying to sleep with eye open, rest secretely on whatsup)

" If you want to come to cockpit, please bla bla bal bla bla"

" okeee" only first row, sleep talking. (In the post-war history of cathay pacific no junior flight attendant has ever voluntarily visited the cockpit.)


"Have a great trip and don't do too much shopping!"

" hahahaha, thank yuuu" (fake laugh)

Captain sits down, red faced because speaking in front of public is not his thing and short of breath.

After a minute turns to F/O or ISM : "So, they keep you busy ?"

Ask the Second Officer, they know the books better.

Can I vote this thread Best on PPrUNE 2013. :D:D

Pomposity is spoken worldwide, what a great thread :p:p

"where you live, DB?"

"can you wait, we are doing the service"

I particularly find it funny when you get on the bus downroute and the girls/boys are getting on the bus and completely ignore you as they file up the aisle head bowed thinking, don't look, don't' speak.


Has anyone else noticed how our right hands are a lot softer than our left?:ok:

I see it is the same everywhere. Ours "plug in", plugged in...can't hear..don't have to speak. I actually said something to one of them the other day. The bus ride from hotel to airport was seven minutes, and she spent more time than that unpacking/packing her music aids/headsets.

I said you could have a conversation with us for 5 minutes on the trip you know...blank look, no answer came the response.

Sops, maybe you have to work at your game :}

clear left, clear right

Captain:
"So who wants to do the welcome and arrival PAs? It really helps to have them squared away before your command comes around".

(None of us have EVER done PAs before in previous jobs....)

:rolleyes:

The bus brief is part of Ops A.... What's so orally ****ty about that? What would you like to talk about?

Is the meet and greet in Ops A too?

"I flew with a guy who's friend's friend spoke to someone from Management/ Boeing/ Airbus/ HKCAD/ Standard Chartered and we're definitely getting xxx A380s/-8Is"