Firm grip of the non-essential
Doing an IFR renewal in a turboprop, god decides we need to the unusual attitude scenario, promptly pulls nose up 15 degrees and we are climbing at 2000fpm solid imc.
Pilot- did you get a clearance to leave 7000'
GOD- What do you mean?
Pilot -we were assigned a level of 7000' as per our clearance, we are now through 10'000'
God-well just recover back to 7000' or its a fail for not maintaing your assigned altitude in CTA!
W e should have a hug a checkie day in reality-feel the love!
Pilot- did you get a clearance to leave 7000'
GOD- What do you mean?
Pilot -we were assigned a level of 7000' as per our clearance, we are now through 10'000'
God-well just recover back to 7000' or its a fail for not maintaing your assigned altitude in CTA!
W e should have a hug a checkie day in reality-feel the love!
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Are you somehow adding to this thread Nitpicker? Almost every page there's a pointless, off-topic comment (much like this one) from you. Are you trying to be the new Yeager?
Nope, enjoying the reading and I've added a couple myself if you recall pal.
Reply #171 just 2 pages back was one I added, did you miss that one or aren't my stories good enough??
I'm entitled to my opinions too aren't I and respond to posts as I see fit...
Oh and in the above post regarding paperwork and 300' off assigned ALT.....did you not see the
I posted???? It was a tongue in cheek response you goose!!
Reply #171 just 2 pages back was one I added, did you miss that one or aren't my stories good enough??
I'm entitled to my opinions too aren't I and respond to posts as I see fit...
Oh and in the above post regarding paperwork and 300' off assigned ALT.....did you not see the
I posted???? It was a tongue in cheek response you goose!!
Then there was the BA VC-10 TRE who was obviously called God by God.
In the days when simulators were not 'zero time' it was mandatory for new converts to type to do some day and night circuits. God would round up a few newbies and head off to somewhere nice and sunny for this exercise.
A colleague on one of these jollies told me at the time that between each couple of trainees, God would call for a nice cup of tea. Whoever was not on the actual detail would head back to the galley and brew one up. No big deal, except that God would then park the aircraft with all four turning and burning while he took his tea break. In today's money, each cuppa would have cost at least $2000 in fuel alone.
In the days when simulators were not 'zero time' it was mandatory for new converts to type to do some day and night circuits. God would round up a few newbies and head off to somewhere nice and sunny for this exercise.
A colleague on one of these jollies told me at the time that between each couple of trainees, God would call for a nice cup of tea. Whoever was not on the actual detail would head back to the galley and brew one up. No big deal, except that God would then park the aircraft with all four turning and burning while he took his tea break. In today's money, each cuppa would have cost at least $2000 in fuel alone.
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Not really on thread but when TCP was Tristar guru FE, I used to get the next port atis frequency and ops freq spun up on VHF 2 ASAP..as a bit of sport. TCP could never quite catch me and often it was accomplished even before he powered back the mighty 211's! Fed up with this consistency and non SOP, he tried to beat me to it...and yes 128.2 and 130.75 duly went into the box...except it was VHF 1...!..stumped to recall the last frequency, all he said was the usual..nice to be in the air again...priceless happy days!!
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TCP, if you took less than fuel TCP wanted he'd reply "they're fuel tanks not air tanks".
I suppose it made command training easier in those days as no checker would dare ask any infantile questions. "Just checking old boy, just checking".
I suppose it made command training easier in those days as no checker would dare ask any infantile questions. "Just checking old boy, just checking".
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Mach ; Mate of mine who was there tells the story better but I will try. Glory days of Base Training in the real aircraft, NCL, three trainees, Training FE & arguably, THE best TRE/IRE in the world. One trainee ( I will refer to as FO Knowall) quickly gained reputation throughout the course for knowing everything but could be a bit abrupt. Airctaft cleared for T/O:
TRE : OK, clear to go, skies yours.
FO : Negative.
TRE : Negative ? Why ?
FO : Birds.
TRE : Birds ?
FO : Yeah, Black winged, trumple beaked , gill tailed strampetts
(or something like that)
TRE.......Looks up & sees one such on the end of the runway and remarks ; Yes..............and I bet you even know how many f----n feathers it's got !
TRE : OK, clear to go, skies yours.
FO : Negative.
TRE : Negative ? Why ?
FO : Birds.
TRE : Birds ?
FO : Yeah, Black winged, trumple beaked , gill tailed strampetts
(or something like that)
TRE.......Looks up & sees one such on the end of the runway and remarks ; Yes..............and I bet you even know how many f----n feathers it's got !
HKG guys, apologies for lurking around the FH pages but hope I am more welcome in retirement (for a good read & excellent laff) than the four unsuccessful attempts to serve CX. But look, this reminds me of Line Training in the Trident one (E) where we used to bomb around at M8.6. Cover FO told me "Look, this guy has a thing about ground speeds. Every time there is a track change, hit the stopwatch & have the GS ready. I did. Nothing said for several track changes until, finally, track change & TC says "What's the ground speed ?".............'578' I proudly responded. "583" He said. ' Oh, that's what you make it ?' I courageously volunteered. "No, that's what it is" he rebuked !
Arfur, thanks & reciprocated. Safe fun flying !
Arfur, thanks & reciprocated. Safe fun flying !
Long before my time but an F/E related the following to me from the CV880 days.
The company was obliged to employ a couple of ex-RAF Shakelton navigators to operate into Perth (there being no INS in the a/c). They used to be based in either JKT or KUL and board southbound.
Top of climb ex-JKT for PER a spear goes through the roof followed by some scribbling and a little note going to the PF. Capt, F/O and F/E all originally from Perth and with RAAF Pearce time.
By this time the bunsen burner off Carnarvon is visible and the lights of Perth a blur in the distance.
Note ( suggesting minor track change) studied. PF passes it to PM and thence to the F/E. F/E to PF and PM "Will one of you tell him or will I?".
PF "I guess it is me".
"We only want to get to Perth not bomb the f.....g place".
Apparently the navigator left in a huff, not to be seen again until the baggage carousel at Perth airport.
The company was obliged to employ a couple of ex-RAF Shakelton navigators to operate into Perth (there being no INS in the a/c). They used to be based in either JKT or KUL and board southbound.
Top of climb ex-JKT for PER a spear goes through the roof followed by some scribbling and a little note going to the PF. Capt, F/O and F/E all originally from Perth and with RAAF Pearce time.
By this time the bunsen burner off Carnarvon is visible and the lights of Perth a blur in the distance.
Note ( suggesting minor track change) studied. PF passes it to PM and thence to the F/E. F/E to PF and PM "Will one of you tell him or will I?".
PF "I guess it is me".
"We only want to get to Perth not bomb the f.....g place".
Apparently the navigator left in a huff, not to be seen again until the baggage carousel at Perth airport.
Don't let this thread die!
Sounds like ar5eholedom isn't restricted solely to airline Captains, check this out;
Crew members: ?Captain Phillips? is one big lie | New York Post
Sounds like ar5eholedom isn't restricted solely to airline Captains, check this out;
Crew members: ?Captain Phillips? is one big lie | New York Post
Oh come on, it's not the nebulous questions asked enroute that matter, It's what's written in the report that is important as it is there forever.
Give us old farts a break.
PS "Why are you taking evasive action with the low fuel temp caution when we have Jet A on board?" I kid you not.
Give us old farts a break.
PS "Why are you taking evasive action with the low fuel temp caution when we have Jet A on board?" I kid you not.
Last edited by Shot Nancy; 3rd Feb 2014 at 08:36.
Shot Nancy
A far more productive set of nebulous questions. Sadly gone are the days on the Classic when one could get one of these done with good CRM (cryptic resolution methodology) on a LH flight and leave it in the report! Now it is at best a quick game of snakes and ladders...such is the dumbing down that has gone on....but that's progress for you.
Across
8 Frocked friend of Dorothy let rip (2,2,4)
9 Love recalled in touching tear-jerker (5)
10 Because, in a manner of speaking, it sounds harsh (4)
11 Rough playtimes involving female relatives (10)
12 Strong hand, flat chest (6)
14 Save time in Blackpool, perhaps (3,5)
15 Initiation of infants born with suitable faith (7)
17 Thick peers banning books (7)
20 Griped about heartless, exploitative ancestors (8)
22 Best mate heads off in car (6)
23 Fine sound, yet jerks jeer (7-3)
24 Blue swallow feathers fell from above (4)
25 8ft 4in girth of American (5)
26 Witches go where outcasts are sent (8)
Down
1 Multinational about to break up companies, all contracting in recession (4-4)
2 Ring bear up (4)
3 Stays in fancy place (6)
4 The opposite of "poetically"? (7)
5 Post-match shower (8)
6 Feline introduced from east as mice reproduced (7,3)
7 Showing naughty bits in Naked Lunch to youth (6)
13 Henry VIII could be insensitive (10)
16 Able to expand pigpen to accommodate cat (8)
18 Characterised by misfortune and horribly drawn out (8)
19 Result of flogging Victorian poisoner? (7)
21 Incorporated into previous day's show (6)
22 Internal parts of gun change over generations (6)
24 Dog collars start to niggle chap with lurid hooter (4)
A far more productive set of nebulous questions. Sadly gone are the days on the Classic when one could get one of these done with good CRM (cryptic resolution methodology) on a LH flight and leave it in the report! Now it is at best a quick game of snakes and ladders...such is the dumbing down that has gone on....but that's progress for you.
Across
8 Frocked friend of Dorothy let rip (2,2,4)
9 Love recalled in touching tear-jerker (5)
10 Because, in a manner of speaking, it sounds harsh (4)
11 Rough playtimes involving female relatives (10)
12 Strong hand, flat chest (6)
14 Save time in Blackpool, perhaps (3,5)
15 Initiation of infants born with suitable faith (7)
17 Thick peers banning books (7)
20 Griped about heartless, exploitative ancestors (8)
22 Best mate heads off in car (6)
23 Fine sound, yet jerks jeer (7-3)
24 Blue swallow feathers fell from above (4)
25 8ft 4in girth of American (5)
26 Witches go where outcasts are sent (8)
Down
1 Multinational about to break up companies, all contracting in recession (4-4)
2 Ring bear up (4)
3 Stays in fancy place (6)
4 The opposite of "poetically"? (7)
5 Post-match shower (8)
6 Feline introduced from east as mice reproduced (7,3)
7 Showing naughty bits in Naked Lunch to youth (6)
13 Henry VIII could be insensitive (10)
16 Able to expand pigpen to accommodate cat (8)
18 Characterised by misfortune and horribly drawn out (8)
19 Result of flogging Victorian poisoner? (7)
21 Incorporated into previous day's show (6)
22 Internal parts of gun change over generations (6)
24 Dog collars start to niggle chap with lurid hooter (4)
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Great thread. Happens the world over. This happened to me on a spicy airline in curry land.
First line check ever. I use wipes to sanitize controls. Told not to do so since it would offend the previous effo.
End of that long multi sector day. Paperwork complete. Charts put away. Pack up my bag, push the seat back and step out of the flight deck. Promptly called back to the flight deck and curtly reminded that the captain leaves the flight deck before the effo.
Down the stairs into the waiting car to take us to the terminal, I sit on the left seat. Gentle knock on the window and told to step outside. Screamed at in full view of the ground staff that the captain ALWAYS sits on the LHS.
First line check ever. I use wipes to sanitize controls. Told not to do so since it would offend the previous effo.
End of that long multi sector day. Paperwork complete. Charts put away. Pack up my bag, push the seat back and step out of the flight deck. Promptly called back to the flight deck and curtly reminded that the captain leaves the flight deck before the effo.
Down the stairs into the waiting car to take us to the terminal, I sit on the left seat. Gentle knock on the window and told to step outside. Screamed at in full view of the ground staff that the captain ALWAYS sits on the LHS.
Actually I agree with the courtesy of the F/O waiting for the Capt to exit first. It's just good old fashioned manners, nothing to do with egotism at all. I always did it as a co-pilot, and didn't have to be asked or taught. It just seemed right and proper. Nowadays nobody gives a damn about etiquette, least of all the spotty youths in the RHS. I even had one of them recently get up in mid flight barely grunting 'you have control' and leaving the cockpit, without as much as an explanation or by your leave! He was off to the bathroom, and why should a big boy like him have to ask permission?
Why indeed?
Idiot.
Why indeed?
Idiot.
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Gasper vent data
I was once asked, "At what speed does the air flow out of the gasper vent?"
Was told 11 knots. Apparently there is an app for this....
Was told 11 knots. Apparently there is an app for this....
Last edited by Jim-J; 18th Feb 2014 at 05:30.
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Kill, I don't disagree with you in the least bit. it is the way he said it. You have aptly given a very sound reason for the sequence of exit. This captain was rude and dismissive. It's not what is said but how it is said. Having said that, as captain now I really have no qualms with the effo stepping out first if he/she is done.
Had a trainer ask me the max radius of circles that can be input in the FMC...... and max offset.
The funniest was a trainer asking me on an upgrade LFUS at crz what would happen if we pressed TOGA. I looked at him and pressed the button. I have never seen a pilot jump in shock as I did at that moment.
Had a trainer ask me the max radius of circles that can be input in the FMC...... and max offset.
The funniest was a trainer asking me on an upgrade LFUS at crz what would happen if we pressed TOGA. I looked at him and pressed the button. I have never seen a pilot jump in shock as I did at that moment.
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Kill,
When I was an Effo, I tried several Times to leave the Flight deck as the last man ( matter of courtesy as you said).
Yet I noticed many skippers entertained themselves in the seat long after all the checklists, goodbyes and salutes were exhausted.
In that case I dismissed myself and went on my way.
When I was an Effo, I tried several Times to leave the Flight deck as the last man ( matter of courtesy as you said).
Yet I noticed many skippers entertained themselves in the seat long after all the checklists, goodbyes and salutes were exhausted.
In that case I dismissed myself and went on my way.