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Firm grip of the non-essential

Fragrant Harbour A forum for the large number of pilots (expats and locals) based with the various airlines in Hong Kong. Air Traffic Controllers are also warmly welcomed into the forum.

Firm grip of the non-essential

Old 9th Jan 2014, 22:35
  #61 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
Posts: 107
Talking Ooh my turn!!

My all-time favorite from one of the many 'small hands, smells like cabbage' long sleeve brigade:

"So Bloggs, when the fuel indication reads Zero, how much fuel actually remains in the system??"
Booger is offline  
Old 9th Jan 2014, 23:06
  #62 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: York International
Posts: 622

Samsonite, you've lurked for more than 15 years and now made your first post.
Fly747 is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 01:16
  #63 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Home
Posts: 142
Same STC used to have your staff travel taken off you for a year or two if he thought you hadn't put enough study in before the check when it came to answering his tech questions.............

Happy days.

Why are there blue dots on the tyre sidewall?
How many are we allowed? (Ok so I've told you I don't have a clue why they're there but you're still thinking I'll know how many we're allowed)
What is the largest piece of wood on the Airbus?
Where is it located?
Why do we have it?
Why is there a repair on the nacelle in that spot? Explain to me nacelle harmonics?
What's the separation in this airspace (over Russia)? Why are they all different everywhere so we could never memorize all of them? (And my favorite) Why haven't you memorized them?

As an old a scaler said "you don't get the housing and education allowance for housing and education, you get them for what you have to put up with, this isn't BA"

Funniest thread ever
Anotherday is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 02:01
  #64 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brisvegas
Posts: 271
Come on there's some good guys too:

CC: "What's this and what does it do?"
Me: "Clock??......Tells the time??"
CC: "That'll do me....end of the technical stuff"
Grivation is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 02:28
  #65 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: H.K.
Age: 47
Posts: 135

Is that not part of the problem? Our training managers sign of on ERAS, with out looking deeper. You can have a great trainer / instructor and get a fair report, signed off. A report by an incompetent trainer/instructor will be signed off the same way. They never question checkers, it's always the student or person being checked at fault in this management's eyes.

When promotions/ upgraded come and your file go to one of those ridiculous committee's / Star chambers. It's the roll of the dice as to who wrote what in your file.

Evidence of this is obvious in the CX culture. Say at sign on, surrounded by colleagues. " I am doing a check next week", and the first response by your colleagues will be " Who's doing it??" In my case 80% or the answers will be " Great, nice guy" ..... 20% "Call sick, manage your file".

Not a culture I like to work in.

Last edited by CXtreme; 10th Jan 2014 at 02:39.
CXtreme is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 04:08
  #66 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Few place
Posts: 207
This from a friend of mine

Certain D!ckhead Irish Checker/Trainer, who tried for years to get into training and constantly rejected. Then when CX short of good guys to go into training, they aim for the bottom of the barrel. He gets in.

Leaving in about 4-5 months (thank God)

My mate is taxying out for T/Off

Closes the sliding table

Clover face turns to him and says...

"...you're closing the table to loudly, you know they're worth about $6-7000 USD...close 'em a bit quieter so they don't break..."

That is NO LIE.

What sort of screwed up company employs people like that.
monster330 is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 04:59
  #67 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: usa
Posts: 31
Good guy Q

"Ok tech questions...which switch/instrument/knob is a local HKG department store?"
Few moments of silence....
"Wing On"?
"Excellent !! tech quiz over"

Gotta have fun
teedub is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 05:15
  #68 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: with the other ex-CX pond scum (a zoologist was once head of Flight Ops)
Posts: 0
Regarding the Airbus tray table, I do find that some guys/gals slam it into the stowage so hard, the whole forward panel vibrates; can't be good for the all that good gear that resides there. It's annoying and unnecessary (if I was Irish I'd add 'to be sure to be sure').
Captain Dart is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 05:39
  #69 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Nirvana
Posts: 473
The same glorious irish twit found it necessary on one training flight to throw a clip board AND strike a JFO upgrade candidate, the old stiff ones, not the soft ones. Tantamount to assault if you ask me. During cockpit set up. Should have stopped, got out of the seat, called medically unfit, gone to Doctor and then the Police. Nice to see him talking to the old Bill later explaining his actions.

Because the JFO feared for his future he didn't do anything but was extremely traumatised by the said twit who continued the so called "training" in his usual incompetent berating manner.

AND the training office does nothing because they are complicit in a culture of coverup and bullying. Ohhh, and why don't they (muggins target tee) come and talk to us about it? If they can't work that out, then long so may it continue. Manage your training file accordingly (I like that).
Bob Hawke is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 06:36
  #70 (permalink)  
short flights long nights
Join Date: Aug 1999
Posts: 3,075
Bob, are you saying that JFOs used to be old and stiff, but now they are new and soft? ( sorry, I could no resist)
SOPS is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 06:57
  #71 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kowloon
Posts: 104
I think that all our checkers are beautiful, truthful souls.
China Flyer is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 07:06
  #72 (permalink)  
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Honolulu, Hawai'i
Posts: 79

...funny, I read it the same way also

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful.

Great thread. Aloha.
alohajec is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 07:51
  #73 (permalink)  
Join Date: May 2009
Location: VHHH Ocean 2D
Posts: 726

I know you are not lying! The same clown has a thing about the closing of Jep/Nav tech charts.

DO NOT open and close it over and over again. Take the whole section out, remove/ insert the specific charts needed, then re-insert the whole section. Therefore only one open and close.

betpump5 is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 08:13
  #74 (permalink)  
short flights long nights
Join Date: Aug 1999
Posts: 3,075
This guy is obsessed with how you open and close things?.......very strange.
SOPS is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 13:35
  #75 (permalink)  
Join Date: Nov 1998
Location: Disneyland - with Mickey Mouse
Age: 51
Posts: 377
This dude sounds like the perfect Cathay Pathetic training manager - what went wrong?
Yeager is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 14:18
  #76 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 183
Accurate answer .....

STC: "Do you know what a no coast drag brake is?"

Me: "Yes"

...... end of questioning, no further comment made!!
744drv is offline  
Old 10th Jan 2014, 18:05
  #77 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: France
Posts: 69
I got got picked up for not having the FMC FAF showing during the descent brief. Not having heard of this we asked his reference and he replied "aha! Fleet newsletter!"
jumbobelle is offline  
Old 11th Jan 2014, 05:25
  #78 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my hat.
Posts: 111
ME: "Cleared below transition...."
HIM: Folded arms and silence.
ME: "Uhh, cleared below transition...."
HIM: Still, folded arms and silence.
ME: "Uhh, we are cleared below transition....QNH?..."
HIM: "The call is TRANSITION....when you say it I'll do it."

HIM: On ground, gets out FCOM3 and finds it and shows me, along with further remonstration.

Apparently not ALL Canadians are assholes though!
Kasompe is offline  
Old 11th Jan 2014, 06:31
  #79 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: All at sea
Posts: 1,790
Not CX but here in Oz: We had a checkie who boasted that he spent two hours every night reading manuals, rules etc and, certainly, he appeared to know EVERYTHING about the aircraft and aviation in general. I admit, he was a very good operator himself, but a shocking checkie. One of those guys who is invaluable as a trainer because of their ability and extensive knowledge, but totally out of control with the power that comes with checking. A flight with him was a continuous barrage of questions, often while you were busy. Typically he would ask stuff that could not be measured e.g. "When visual, how far horizontally must you remain away from cloud?" Me: "Er......far enough to see where you are going?" Him: "Not acceptable, you of all people being a check captain yourself, must know". Me: "Actually I do, but how do we measure it?"

He never got the message about keeping questions practical. One day after I gave him a line check I marked him down for 'Compliance with Regulations'. He had never had a grade of less than 'excellent' in his career, so was quite miffed at getting an 'only average' from me, the resident cowboy of all people.

His sin? He did not switch on the navigation lights, by day, in cloud. Cowboys one, Anal Retentives nil.
Mach E Avelli is offline  
Old 11th Jan 2014, 10:36
  #80 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Toronto
Posts: 214
"No, don't set it now, you might level at a FL"
"Ok, Standard set and cross checked"
"well you have set the QNH now so stick with it"
"Standard set, you can do what you like"
"Well no need to be funny about it"

"No need to be a f***ing arse" which of course i couldn't really say!
treboryelk is offline  

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