oral diarrhea in CX
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Where You Aren't
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Finished with the forward lights!
(Oh, thanks for telling me the FORWARD lights, 'cause I might have turned off the NAV lights!)
But wait! Don't the NAV lights face forward, too?
(Oh, thanks for telling me the FORWARD lights, 'cause I might have turned off the NAV lights!)
But wait! Don't the NAV lights face forward, too?
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Honolulu, Hawai'i
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"your first choice of the meals....it's your sector."
upon answering the cabin interphone: "engine room....."
"clear the upper EICAS" (as opposed to the lower EICAS?)
"would you like to update the Vref by 1-knot? - because I know you can fly 1-knot"
"how was your meal?"
....but "thanks for the flight" really takes the nauseating cake.
upon answering the cabin interphone: "engine room....."
"clear the upper EICAS" (as opposed to the lower EICAS?)
"would you like to update the Vref by 1-knot? - because I know you can fly 1-knot"
"how was your meal?"
....but "thanks for the flight" really takes the nauseating cake.
Join Date: May 2002
Location: up here, everyone looks like ants!
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"I know the salary is bad but it will get better"
"Do you have the scoop on the latest PC?"
"I know that $45000 is terrible, but I'll get my upgrade in a year, tops"
"Recruitment told me I'll be a captain in 5 years"
"My last PC was good"
"I'm requesting regional flights, every month"
"I'll start flying regional at least a year before my upgrade"
"The company radiation dose numbers say I'm okay flying only polar flights"
Ad nauseum
"Do you have the scoop on the latest PC?"
"I know that $45000 is terrible, but I'll get my upgrade in a year, tops"
"Recruitment told me I'll be a captain in 5 years"
"My last PC was good"
"I'm requesting regional flights, every month"
"I'll start flying regional at least a year before my upgrade"
"The company radiation dose numbers say I'm okay flying only polar flights"
Ad nauseum
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Krug departure, Merlot transition
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-"Anything in the NOTAMs?"
-"Happy with flight plan fuel?"
-"I don't see any reason to take anymore..."
-"Mate of mine flew with RH recently and he said [insert absolutely any rumour]"
-"Yeah but Emirates only make money because they don't pay for their fuel"
But my favourite moment has to be when another carrier (usually American, with gravelly drawn-out Southern-US aw-shucks Chuck Yeager-like voice) transmits "Carrier 273 heavy, we're outta two point three climbin' five point oh, 3575 comin' down with the flash" and then watching any British CAP413 disciple start to squirm and sweat in their seat, eyebrow twitching involuntarily and teeth exposed in sneer, sometimes accompanied by an almost whispered "bloody ex-colonists!"
-"Happy with flight plan fuel?"
-"I don't see any reason to take anymore..."
-"Mate of mine flew with RH recently and he said [insert absolutely any rumour]"
-"Yeah but Emirates only make money because they don't pay for their fuel"
But my favourite moment has to be when another carrier (usually American, with gravelly drawn-out Southern-US aw-shucks Chuck Yeager-like voice) transmits "Carrier 273 heavy, we're outta two point three climbin' five point oh, 3575 comin' down with the flash" and then watching any British CAP413 disciple start to squirm and sweat in their seat, eyebrow twitching involuntarily and teeth exposed in sneer, sometimes accompanied by an almost whispered "bloody ex-colonists!"
Join Date: Dec 2012
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This gem from the latest newsletter......
"I talked face to face with the 6 First
class pax, about our options and decisions."
and after any completely non-related incident involving a landing, " a normal landing was carried out"........ Haha
"I talked face to face with the 6 First
class pax, about our options and decisions."
and after any completely non-related incident involving a landing, " a normal landing was carried out"........ Haha
Since we are part of the Group…..a few from KA.
"Ready for a quick brief….. ?". Ninety seconds later they are still rambling on about nothing via a CTWO+ diatribe.
"OK for a normal boarding Captain?". I must ask one day WTF the alternatives are.
"Speed noted". Yes Ace you are +2kts with the ATHR on so what are you going to do- will the speed back?
"Threats are Home Port Complacency". Oh thank goodness a 200 hour pilot has identified a legitimate threat- but then you ask him about it and realize its a buzz word he heard but doesn't understand.
"I'm going to Emirates…."
"I'm too busy to volunteer for the union committee". Single and outspoken guy and no kids generally.
"GeoffComs". Never in my career have I come across…
"These SOPs have stood the test of time…." CX pilot on exchange at KA as the CP and the day after he left a project was put in force to get rid of the CX oral diarrhea out of the SOPs.
"Ready for a quick brief….. ?". Ninety seconds later they are still rambling on about nothing via a CTWO+ diatribe.
"OK for a normal boarding Captain?". I must ask one day WTF the alternatives are.
"Speed noted". Yes Ace you are +2kts with the ATHR on so what are you going to do- will the speed back?
"Threats are Home Port Complacency". Oh thank goodness a 200 hour pilot has identified a legitimate threat- but then you ask him about it and realize its a buzz word he heard but doesn't understand.
"I'm going to Emirates…."
"I'm too busy to volunteer for the union committee". Single and outspoken guy and no kids generally.
"GeoffComs". Never in my career have I come across…
"These SOPs have stood the test of time…." CX pilot on exchange at KA as the CP and the day after he left a project was put in force to get rid of the CX oral diarrhea out of the SOPs.
Last edited by Gnadenburg; 1st Dec 2013 at 01:42.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: one country, one system
Age: 55
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"I don't mind flying freight."
" Traffic at 2 o'clock ! " (12 miles distance, 4000 feet below )
" Coffee machine is not working. I think this means we are AOG "
... and my all-time favourite :
" I never go on PPrune "
" Traffic at 2 o'clock ! " (12 miles distance, 4000 feet below )
" Coffee machine is not working. I think this means we are AOG "
... and my all-time favourite :
" I never go on PPrune "
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: heads down trying to figure out Chinese RVSM
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"Has everyone looked at the flight plan?" - no, we just stood around browsing magazines during our report time. 
"Ok, they've given us a REC EXTRA of 2000 kg, CONT is 2500, weather is good, blah blah blah, are you happy with flight plan fuel?" - really? I didn't notice that they gave us REC EXTRA and CONT.
"Fuel is TANK to ENGINE" - as opposed to APU to ENGINE?
"APU is available", "On the bus" - as opposed to? TRU, inverter?
.....and of course the never-ending "Dear G" self flagellation letters
"Ok, they've given us a REC EXTRA of 2000 kg, CONT is 2500, weather is good, blah blah blah, are you happy with flight plan fuel?" - really? I didn't notice that they gave us REC EXTRA and CONT.
"Fuel is TANK to ENGINE" - as opposed to APU to ENGINE?
"APU is available", "On the bus" - as opposed to? TRU, inverter?
.....and of course the never-ending "Dear G" self flagellation letters
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Asia
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Are we clear ?
Captain .."Pin sighted , tug is clear got the wave off , ground crew is clear left"
FO...." Even though there has never been ground crew on my side, it's clear on the right.."
c..." Final items "
F..."Final items, ground crew ? "
C ..." Still clear on the left..."
F..." Still clear on the right "
C ..."ready taxi clear on the left"
F......"clear on the right"
FO...." Even though there has never been ground crew on my side, it's clear on the right.."
c..." Final items "
F..."Final items, ground crew ? "
C ..." Still clear on the left..."
F..." Still clear on the right "
C ..."ready taxi clear on the left"
F......"clear on the right"
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Brisbane
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"Request Flight Level XXX IF AVAILABLE"
Oh yea?? had you not added the last two words does that mean ATC would have given it to you available or not?? W**ker!!
Oh and by the way, what does "FULLY READY" mean. When did you last hear someone call "partially Ready"? Ready is ready. Get a grip.
Oh yea?? had you not added the last two words does that mean ATC would have given it to you available or not?? W**ker!!
Oh and by the way, what does "FULLY READY" mean. When did you last hear someone call "partially Ready"? Ready is ready. Get a grip.