How do you know when you've been here too long ?

[Kitsune]

You know you've been in Hong Kong too long when:

Hydrogen Sulphide smells like home.....

[Elroy Jettson]

Haha, now we're back on track!

You feel the South China Morning Post is being way to critical of the government!

[OLBA18]

You know you've been in Hong Kong too long when back at home you :

- you reply with "cannot"

- you daydream at the check out and then realise that YOU have to pack the shopping into bags

- you curse when you find the dishwasher unemptied and the washing still in the washing bin unwashed

- you find yourself complaining that the public transport isn't as good

- you find you can't sleep because your bedroom is not airconditioned to 18 degrees C.

You've really been in Hong Kong too long when on the flight back:

- you ask for the South China Morning Post

- and get disappointed when there's not one available

- you find a mild smuggness at refusing the landing card forms

- when you come out of the doors at HKIA and find the 30 degrees C and humidity quite acceptable and pleasant for the time of year.

[Kitsune]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...term=hong+kong

You think that a 'helper' who earns 3,500 dollars a month and supports 10 of her family back home with it really should contribute 400 dollars of her wages so the Tai Pans don't have to pay too much tax.....

[Flap10]

Originally Posted by 828a

All,
It would seem there are some unhappy individuals in Cathey Pacific these days. Such comments as posted here would never have surfaced in days gone by when wresling with dragons was not part of the pleasure of living in Hongkong. One can't but wonder why the discontented don't simply write out their resignations and go back to the drab monotonous suburbia from whence they came. They dont do it because they know only too well what it is like back there.
828a.

When you no longer pay attention to arrogant loners like 828 that can’t even put a Cantonese sentence together, but yet pretends his life has been enriched in HKG because a few colleagues have decided to take pity and socialize with him.

[hei yu]

It also has an effect on your kids (mainly positive!)
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN EXPAT KID IN HONG KONG WHEN...
You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?".
You flew before you could walk.
You have a passport, but no driver's license.
You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.
You run into someone you know at every airport.
You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.
You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel.
National Geographic (OR THE TRAVEL CHANNEL) makes you homesick.
You read the international section before the comics.
You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.
You don't know where home is.
You sort your friends by continent.
Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong.
You know there is no such thing as an international language.
Your second major is in a foreign language you already speak.
You realize it really is a small world, after all.
You watch a movie set in a foreign country, and you know what the nationals are really saying into the camera.
Rain on a tile patio --or a corrugated metal roof--is one of the most wonderful sounds in the world.
You haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price.
Your wardrobe can only handle two seasons: wet and dry.
Your high school memories include those days that school was cancelled due to the number eight being hoisted.
You have a name in at least two different languages, and it's not the same one.
You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.
Your dorm room/apartment/living room looks a little like a museum with all the "exotic" things you have around.
You won't eat Uncle Ben's rice because it doesn't stick together.
Half of your phone calls are unintelligible to those around you.
You go to Pizza Hut or Wendy's and you wonder why there's no chili sauce (or chopsticks).
You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country.
You have best friends in 5 different countries.
You ask your roommate when the maid is coming to clean up your room
You're spoilt. You know it. You're VERY spoilt.

[kluge]

Hei yu

Well done, Doesn;t just apply to kids - especially when you've been here decade !

[VR-HFX]

When you can work out who 828a is by looking in your log book

[moosp]

When you can ask for a body massage with a happy ending in five Asian languages.

[Dan Winterland]

You ask for chopsticks with your crew meal - in turbulence!

[Kitsune]

You remember when you really did "Arrive in better shape".......

[Beta Light]

Proudly South African

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:
>
> Ø You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when
> stopped
> by a traffic officer
>
> Ø You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement
>
> Ø You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car
>
> Ø You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers
>
> Ø To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
>
> Ø Hijacking cars is a profession
>
> Ø You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic
> light
>
> Ø The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car
>
> Ø More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local
> election
>
> Ø People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty,
> Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given
>
> Ø "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month
>
> Ø You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to
> make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction
>
> Ø Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway
>
> Ø You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your
> car
> parked where you left it
>
> Ø A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes
>
> Ø The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines
> and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
>
> Ø You paint your car's registration on the roof
>
> Ø You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a
> government hospital
>
> Ø You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one
>
> Ø Prisoners go on strike
>
> Ø You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks
> your
> car
>
> Ø You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once
>
> Ø Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate
> is
> too high
>
> Ø When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa
> announcement
> of the following Zulu program, and a Pedi ad
>
> Ø The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy
> they are
>
> Ø The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just
> finished watching
>
> Ø You get cold easily. Anything below 20 degrees Celsius is Arctic
> weather
>
> Ø You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume"
>
> Ø You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any
>
> Ø You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have
> no
> idea what it means in any of them
>
> Ø You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Madela
>
> Ø You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors
> (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously
>
> Ø You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State
>
> Ø You actually understand these jokes.

[Kitsune]

Isn't there some sort of forum for yaaaaarpies?

[Slapshot]

You've Lived In Alberta Too Long When ...

- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor and combine crew on the highway;
- "Vacation" means driving through Banff or Jasper Park or going "back to school" shopping in Calgary;
- You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular;
- You measure distance in hours. Not minutes or kilometers;
- You've been to a tractor pull;
- South to you means Montana; Winnipeg is "back East"; B.C. is "the coast";
- You know who has to pay for the damage to your truck and the dead cow when you hit one;
- Your school classes were cancelled because of cold, but only when it was -40 or colder;
- You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day;
- You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better";
- You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with";
- You often reply "you bet!" or "hell yes!";
- You've gotten a "To Go" drink from the local bar;
- You install security lights on your house and barn and leave both unlocked;
- You know what "Cow Tipping", "Garden Raiding" and "Snipe Hunting" are;
- You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup;
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit;
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow;
- Driving in the winter is often simply a matter of staying between the fence posts;
- You think that washing your pickup is a waste of time and money;
- You have never owned a vehicle that did not have cracks in the windshield;
- You get claustrophobic when you're in a "big city" like Red Deer and their traffic is "just awful, you wouldn't believe it;
- You think sexy winter lingerie is a flannel nightie and tube socks;
- You know how many cords of wood it will take to get through the winter;
- You think that the opening of elk season should be a national holiday;
- You carry a roll of toilet paper in the glove box in case you have to stop and go by the road;
- Your radio antenna is an old clothes hangar or piece of baling wire;
- You find -20 degrees "a little chilly";
- You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction.

[Cripple 7]

...you have paid enough accumulated rent to buy a moderate-sized North American or European town.

...most conversations with your friends involve mobile phones or mutual funds.

...none of the sea-front buildings existed when you first arrived.

...the shoreline itself shifted by half a mile.

...all your friends are now living in London, New York, Singapore or Paris.

...you can't put a proper sentence together in your native language.

...you got really excited when Starbucks opened their first outlet in Hong Kong.

...when at the movies, you take bets on the number of phones that go off during the film.

...the funniest jokes you know all revolve around your stockbroker.

...you have developed an acquired taste for mooncakes.

...in a crowd or a queue, you've learned to stay away from frail-looking old ladies carrying umbrellas.

...you've seriously considered taking up golf.

...you have a Mont Blanc or Cartier pen clipped to your shirt pocket.

...you have stopped noticing the grotesquely deformed leper on the Exchange Square flyover.

...you think a sexual pervert is a man who prefers women to money.

...your building's security guard is 4 times older than the building itself.

...you have become a shameless name-dropper.

...you feel a compulsion to take exams.

...all you need in life is Louis Vuitton.

...you think 165 decibels is a normal noise level for lunchtime conversation.

...you think it's OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window.

...thanks to karaoke, you know who has the most singing talent in your building. Not that this is a great achievement.

...you believe that pressing the lift button 63 times in rapid succession will make it move faster.

...among your friends, the ultimate status symbol is a lawn-mower.

...you know it is useless to protest when the lady at the supermarket check-out wraps one toothbrush in 6 plastic bags.

...you will never ever EVER buy Miracle Foot Repair.

...you've learned to recognise Andy Lau, Leon Lai, Aaron Kwok and Jacky Cheung.

...you aren't aware that one is supposed to pay for software.

...you are of the opinion that pink bathroom tiles can make any building or public garden beautiful.

...your colleagues eat sun-dried cuttlefish coated in sugar and you don't bat an eyelid.

...you've actually purchased a canto-pop CD.

...you've actually played it several times.

...you don't think that queuing in the rain in a diesel-choked Kowloon back street to buy a HK$6 Hello Kitty plastic doll at a McDonald's store is strange behaviour.

...you believe Li Ka-shing is a saint.

...you test your seafood for mercury, hepatitis B and cholera.

...you have attended at least 4 weddings and a funeral in a language you don't understand at all.

...a lady with a PhD in Nuclear Physics, and who is fluent in 7 languages irons your socks for a pittance -- but she is from the Philippines so it's all right.

...all the clothes you own are either tailor-made or come from Giordano.

...you are not at all surprised to see your tap water run dark brown.

...drilling on the walls in the wee hours in the morning is considered acceptable behavior.

...it's Friday, it must be Typhoon 3 day.

...it's Saturday, it must be Typhoon 8 day.

...you tell your parents their house back in your home country has bad feng shui.

...you get offended when people admire your chopsticks skills.

...you've compiled a 3-page list of odd English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves.

...you know to bring a coat, a scarf and gloves to fight hypothermia in supermarkets, buses, ferries and cinemas.

...your collection of business cards has outgrown your flat.

...you are convinced that the only thing that moves more slowly than continental drift is a Causeway Bay crowd on a Saturday afternoon.

...you are not surprised to see 85-year old ladies pushing mountains of rubbish up the streets of the financial district.

...you bulldoze your way into lifts and MTR trains before other passengers have a chance to alight.

...when someone smiles at you for no particular reason, you know she is a flight attendant.

...you know for a fact that leather shoes can grow leaves during the wet season.

...the word "wildlife" refers to the family of cockroaches that dwells in your kitchen drawer.

...the word "Aiiyeeaaahh" punctuates your speech to convey surprise, pleasure, pain or anger.

...you speak enough Cantonese to make your colleagues laugh their heads off (attempts with anyone else still only draw blank stares).

...you are no longer surprised to find footprints on the edge of public toilet bowls.

...you believe you are really tall when you are really only 5'8".

...you read this list and understood everything!