May not a student but.....
 

Heard recently
Farnborough Radar "G-hows your father did you do any flight planning at Shoreham?"
G-hows your father "Affirm (but in a puzzled tone)"
Farnborough Radar "Did it include flying into the Gatwick Zone? Turn right heading 270"

I get one.
I asked to an instructor a friend of mine a few months ago, "how was your day ? etc"

he replied " well, sometimes I am fed up... you know what? a student pilot asked me a stupid question:

" what do you do when you have an engine failure ? do you try to climb higher ?"

:} :D

I can tell you, it was unbelievable to hear that...

Could the student be referring to trading speed for height, i.e. using those few seconds whilst losing speed between cruise and glide speed (approx. 20 - 30 kias) to pick up 100 - 200+' in a straight climb whilst using the time to switch on the fuel pump, change tanks, apply carb heat and commence trimming for the glide (which then starts at a greater height AGL)?

Just a thought.

Funny Comments made by students
 

Student under pressure pre solo doing pre-landing checks:-

'No arse looticles'

and another,although not exactly funny, by a student from somewhere in xxxxxx being monitored on a controlling frequency on his first solo x-country:-

'I am in de cloud'(sic)

He survived this incident with a lot of help, but not the course!

Took a student on his first Navex today. Descending back into our base he asked "how the f**k do you do all that on your own then?!!!!!!"

.." anyway I've bought a jet and would like to do my PPL in your Twin please...":ouch:

I must dmit I took this from another posting but think it is 100%:

Tower (to student on approach)
"G-** wind 160 at 15 knots, no need to confirm"
Stude:
"Wind 160 at 15 knots, no need to confirm G-**"

Simulated forced landings years ago -

Student: "Would you turn on the landing lights for a dead stick landing in the dark?"

Me: "Probably".

Student: "What happens if you don't like what you see?"

Me: "Switch them off".

Student: "Better to have engine failures during the day then . . "

Me: "Unquestionably". :rolleyes:

GQ.

Two incidents, one fairly recent:

Tower to student: "Say Position."
Student on Solo: "uhh... position?"

and then the other day

Tower to student: "Say altitude."
Student to tower: "Altitude."

I'm sure you've all heard students getting radar and radio around the wrong way many times before, nothing new there, but has anyone else had a student talking to XX Rodeo? :ok:Yeeehaw!!

Quote: -Tower to student: "Say altitude."
Student to tower: "Altitude."

aclark79 - this one can be made to go on for a bit:

after "Say speed", "Say heading", "Say altitude" to which the responses, predictably, are "Speed, Heading, Altitude", comes "Say Cancel IFR" to which the very prompt reply is "Three four zero knots, one niner five degrees, flight level three five five"! :)

GQ.

Sorry not a student quote but a pax comment about 5 months ago:

Landing into bush strip Botswana with the stall warning blaring.

Passenger behind me sees antelope at the end of the strip and says "oh were you hootin at those animals right there??"

interseting!!:ugh:

Ic_aerobatics
 

I had one recently who did the same (pull the power back on the good engine) - except he was an ATPL FO and we had 300 bodies in the back of the Sim! The Economics of Supply and Demand guaranteed his pass!!
And, before you shoot barbs in my back. I was the one pushing it up ASAP.

Now, here is a scary thought: He will be up for Widebody Command in 3 years and guess what?????

He will be flying you around shortly after..

George Semel
 

Dear George, (#17)
Your guy now is flying a wide-body Airbus in the Middle-East!
You think I jest? heh, heh, heh

Stalling
 

This made me smile this afternoon.
At the end of a climbing, descending and turning lesson I always demonstrate a power off/ clean stall so that the student knows what to expect during the next lesson. While pattering my way through the signs and then the symptoms of the stall my student very enthusiastically said, "Yeah, you can really smell it can't you". ???:rolleyes:??? I then pointed out that stalling was all about lift (or a lack of it) and that it would be a good idea for him to read chapter ten before his next lesson. I didn't like to ask what he could smell.
:)

Not a student FI experience but myself and a mate returing from a business trip into a Controlled International Airport, we had just landed and I was about to shut down when I got the following radio call from the tower.

Tower "xyz cleard to land number one"

Me "Tower xyz has landed 5 mins ago and is about to shut down"

Tower "oh..... Disregard"

I guess it was a slow day on top of the stick.

Instructor Chat (funny)
 

A 152 comes in to land at rochester during a circuit detail (bounce bounce bounce) when the plane comes to stop the instructor jumps out and sends his student off solo. When questioned by another instructor why he sent his student solo after a landing like the reply came "whith landings like that iam not f***ing staying in there".:E

Me to student when turning finals No 2.

"if you call finals now they'll say "callsign xx continue approach"

Student then calls:- "callsign xx continue approach" followed by chuckles from the tower. :ugh:

In one of our ground courses, pretty sure it was in tech cause it is tech related question, a student asked "do planes have gear boxes"

Not a student, but an elderly PPL overheard while I was in the circuit:
[PPL] - "Tower, G-XXXX, Information B, request taxi"
[Busy controller who'd been just about to clear a 737 to land]: "G-XX, taxi S1 for 27, QNH 1024, standby for the readback"
(You've guessed what's coming)
[PPL, slowly and deliberately] - "Taxi to holding point Sierra One for runway two seven, Q-N-H One Zero Two Four, standby for the readback, G-XX"
(And the 737 PNF just had time to utter the word "Classic...." before a very late landing clearance.)