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Instructor / Student friendships...

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Instructor / Student friendships...

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Old 13th May 2001 | 20:23
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Turbine
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Exclamation Instructor / Student friendships...

I have always thought that it is best to keep a professional distance from students and pilots BUT...at what point is a 'relationship' or 'friendship' deemed "innapropriate"?

Has anybody any experiences? Comments please...

 
Old 14th May 2001 | 01:45
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Luke SkyToddler
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Hmmm ... normally when this topic comes up, we're referring to friendship in the biological sense of the word

Apply a bit of common sense: if your attempts at 'friendship' could possibly result in your student feeling uncomfortable in your presence and possibly leaving your flying school as a consequence, then you have pretty obviously just cost your employer a bunch of potential earnings and deemed yourself untrustworthy as well, and they would be quite within their rights to fire you.

There must be millions of people out there to strike up 'friendships' with, but not that many instructing jobs going for people who are known to make unwelcome advances on their students. And even if your student fancies you back, you can't escape the fact that it looks bloody unprofessional at best.
 
Old 14th May 2001 | 19:12
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eyeinthesky
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Friendship doesn't necessarily mean you are trying to get into his/her underwear!. If you mean is it OK to remain friends outside the framework of the flying lesson, then I see no problem. I have made a few friends through instructing and we still fly together as fellow pilots.

Not quite sure what you mean by 'inappropriate'. If we are talking about it affecting the necessarily commercial nature of a flying lesson then that is up to you to decide. If your flying club thinks your friendship is affecting their business (e.g. charging 0.7 for a 1.0 lesson) then you are on a sticky wicket.

However, if you mean what everybody else thought, then it is like any other work romance: don't let it affect your professional outlook and keep the romantic bit for outside the a/c. Make sure you keep your detached judgement of ability/progress. If you're trying it on on the offchance: watch out for harrassment claims; that is unprofessional and maybe illegal!!

Strange question, really..

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"Take-off is optional, Landing is mandatory"
 
Old 15th May 2001 | 01:42
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ScottishBurd
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Probably the biggest disappointment in my flying life so far was my quite lovely FI adding 15 minutes for 'sex/sin' to the times on the flight plan & then not delivering the goods!!Seriously though,I could only say that I hold all the people who trained me in the very highest regard & feel honored to call them 'friends' I don't see why your students should be any different.
 
Old 15th May 2001 | 15:09
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fallen eagle
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Hi if you spend all your work and a large part of your free time in the flying world then the chances are sooner or later some one will come along to whome you will be attracted.Or vice a versa,Keep the training seperate or hand over the student, make sure the feelings are mutual.Do not defraude the people you work for.May be it will work out.It did for me I was on my own now I live with an ex student of mine best move I ever made. bye for now
 
Old 15th May 2001 | 19:39
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It's difficult to define where to draw the line. Hopefully anyone who is a flying instructor would be mature enough to know what was appropriate.
I met my husband when he started learning to fly with me, but I resisted going out on a date until he had finished his PPL. (Such self control!) Now we're married we always seem to bring out the worst in each other when we fly together so it was a good thing we waited. I got another instructor to do his CPL training or it could have been a disaster!
On a more serious note, there are cases of harrassment sometimes, or what the student may deem as harrassment. I heard of one friend of mine, a gentle soul, who was very wrongly accused of sexual harrassment when he reached for the trim wheel in a tomahawk and accidentally touched her leg. On the other hand there are a fair few dirty old (and young) men out there who should never be in close proximity to a female in an aircraft.
The respect that students (should)feel for their instructors can make them vulnerable, and if alcohol comes into the picture major problems can develop very quickly. So I'd say, make friends, have a laugh, but instructor and student should keep a respectful distance at least until the training is complete, and if you can't keep your hands off each other change instructors!
Charlie Foxtrot India is offline  
Old 15th May 2001 | 21:49
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fallen eagle
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Charlie Foxtrot India Hi there I feel I must add to your post and I am sure you will concure.As a C.F.I. some years back I aquired a student(female)who after a while made it clear she did not just want flying instruction.I had seen the signs and done my best to avoid any ambiguity, and even asked my employer,herself a flying instructor and my deputy, to relieve me of this student as diplomaticly as possibly.She refused,so I took some leave when I got back the hooks had gone into a relief instructor and his otherwise normal life was completly destroyed.There but for the grace of God go I.What a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to decieve. Bye for now
 

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