Good one guys....VH-FNA.
Bugsmasherdriverandjediknite
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Good one guys....VH-FNA.
To the F/O or Captain, the cabin address you did whilst on climb out of Laverton today was a great bit of public speaking.
I was minding my own business, zipping around at zot feet mustering goats when I heard it........on the MBZ frequency.......brightened up my whole day it did.
Oh and thanx for hoping I enjoyed my flight today........after that I did.
I was minding my own business, zipping around at zot feet mustering goats when I heard it........on the MBZ frequency.......brightened up my whole day it did.
Oh and thanx for hoping I enjoyed my flight today........after that I did.
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Hi wiz
Just remembered a similar incident that happened to me. I was a flight service officer for 16.5 years.
In my early days i was just completing my checkouts for my air-ground ratings. I was working the airspace to the north-east of Melbourne that extended to the border of the Mildura flight information area. Mildura flight service unit ( ended up spending 6 very pleasant years there) had just handed over the daily FK27 flight enroute to MIA to MEL. Being a good pro-active FSO i had allready arranged his onwards clearance.
Now the flight information area i was working was equipped with two different VHF frequencies, 121.3 and 126.8 ( i think). I started to give the FK27 his clearence and realised I was giving it on the wrong frequency ( pre retransmit days). When i realised my mistake i said "OH S..T" live to air before i could stop my self. I then proceded to issue the clearence on the correct frequency. I looked across to the gent who was conducting my check and he seemed not to have noticed my faux pax.
At the subsequent de-brief all went well and no mention was made of my slip of the tongue. However just as i was leaving the room the check FSO said "oh by the way G... try not to say s..t on the air to often. got outside and damned near pi...d my self laughing.
Had a lot of good times in Flight Service:
Just remembered a similar incident that happened to me. I was a flight service officer for 16.5 years.
In my early days i was just completing my checkouts for my air-ground ratings. I was working the airspace to the north-east of Melbourne that extended to the border of the Mildura flight information area. Mildura flight service unit ( ended up spending 6 very pleasant years there) had just handed over the daily FK27 flight enroute to MIA to MEL. Being a good pro-active FSO i had allready arranged his onwards clearance.
Now the flight information area i was working was equipped with two different VHF frequencies, 121.3 and 126.8 ( i think). I started to give the FK27 his clearence and realised I was giving it on the wrong frequency ( pre retransmit days). When i realised my mistake i said "OH S..T" live to air before i could stop my self. I then proceded to issue the clearence on the correct frequency. I looked across to the gent who was conducting my check and he seemed not to have noticed my faux pax.
At the subsequent de-brief all went well and no mention was made of my slip of the tongue. However just as i was leaving the room the check FSO said "oh by the way G... try not to say s..t on the air to often. got outside and damned near pi...d my self laughing.
Had a lot of good times in Flight Service:
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There are two types of pilots (and FSO's too I guess); those that have, and those that will. Mine was in two languages, while about to enter the holding pattern at XXX (memory blank - the MAIN hold into London ?) When I got back onto frequency I was suprised how quiet it had gone on the radio - turned out all traffic was being transferred onto the secondry frequency due to my blocking the primary.
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My one!
I had a PTT stick on me about 5 years ago when I (and 3 others)were taking an Archer for a burl out of BK. I felt more than just a bit silly when I realised the calibre of the language I had used when trying to work-out just what was wrong with "this f******g heap of s**t" on 132.8 to the probable amusement of all on frq for the best part of 4-5 mins. I was already on my way back to the ramp when the safety car (full of two blokes with grins the size of the Harbour Bridge), rolled over to make me aware of my little faux pas.
Sh!t happens!
Sh!t happens!
Mine was just as lovely and embarrasing 429CJ. On final into Cooly and as I read back my transfer to tower my PTT button flew into the backseat. Of course the radio went very quiet and i'm saying to my pax what the **** happened, i can't hear a ****ing thing, where did the ****ing button go etc etc....we then realised I was transmitting on cooly tower, squawked the code etc then it suddenly unclicked on short finals, I tell em with the hand mic that my PTT had broken and he just said, yes we heard...I could have died.. I phoned them and apologised the guy sort of said no worries it happens, just mind your language eh!
I once heard this guy having a complete case of the swears without realising he had an open mic, he was basically saying does NOTHING work on this piece of **** my god i can't find a single thing that works.....he went on for like about 2 mins before he realised! Someone said well at least the radio works mate!
I once heard this guy having a complete case of the swears without realising he had an open mic, he was basically saying does NOTHING work on this piece of **** my god i can't find a single thing that works.....he went on for like about 2 mins before he realised! Someone said well at least the radio works mate!
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Heard a classic about two months ago. A QF dash8 I suspect, well the voice sounded the same as the one who 2 mins before gave the departure report.
This booming voice pipes up with "will you stop f*****g talking to me and look out your f*****g window". Stoned silence for a short period until ATC everso professionally carried on.
This booming voice pipes up with "will you stop f*****g talking to me and look out your f*****g window". Stoned silence for a short period until ATC everso professionally carried on.
Seem to recall explaining which bit of the reef to look for turtles and what they looked like from the air over Brisbane Centre one day...
That's the problem with all these linked frequencies - everyone across the top end from Horn to Broome can hear your stuffups.
That's the problem with all these linked frequencies - everyone across the top end from Horn to Broome can hear your stuffups.
PPRuNe Handmaiden
yep, me too
During my line training on a Dash 8 I told every one on Brisbane Centre all about the weather, time, flight etc...... When I finally shut up, Brisbane Centre naturally commented and so did about 10 other crews.
Very very embarrassed (of course) and triple checked the com box for all the PA's and radio calls from then on! :o
Very very embarrassed (of course) and triple checked the com box for all the PA's and radio calls from then on! :o
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Made my 'ready for taxi' cal on the company frequency while parked right next to the Chief Pilot once.
"That'll cost you a beer xxxx" he said.
Quick as a flash I tried "xxx no here, you got long numbah, we closed, you go now. So solly, bye bye".
"That'll cost you a slab" came the reply :o
"That'll cost you a beer xxxx" he said.
Quick as a flash I tried "xxx no here, you got long numbah, we closed, you go now. So solly, bye bye".
"That'll cost you a slab" came the reply :o
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Heard this one a few months ago on approach into Paris.
Controller (in a heavily accented English): "xxxxxxx 123, head 100 degrees, descend to FL 150 and contact De Gaulle on xxx.xxx"
Pilot (in very plummy English voice) "Heading 100 degrees, Flight Level 150 and contact xxx.xx.....(pause)....D'yew know? Six months ago I wouldn't hev understood a word of thet."
Controller (in a heavily accented English): "xxxxxxx 123, head 100 degrees, descend to FL 150 and contact De Gaulle on xxx.xxx"
Pilot (in very plummy English voice) "Heading 100 degrees, Flight Level 150 and contact xxx.xx.....(pause)....D'yew know? Six months ago I wouldn't hev understood a word of thet."
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Had just commenced descent into Mount Weld one sunny morning. Had been passed IFR traffic on a Skippers Dash 8 taxiing Mount Weld for Perth.
Changed over to the Laverton/Mount Weld MBZ as I was going to contact him. (He had been passed my info over the HF) His mike was stuck open and didnt realise it. I tried to contact him via HF to let him know, but he wasnt on air.
Of course I couldnt reply, so I just listened to him getting more frustrated, eventually swearing at me because I wasnt on the MBZ because I was a ####head or something. Heard him even calling V speeds.
He finally listened to his HF to give a DEP report.
You could actually hear the ******s jaw drop when he found out!! (I had a couple of words to him on the MBZ to which he didnt reply!)
Changed over to the Laverton/Mount Weld MBZ as I was going to contact him. (He had been passed my info over the HF) His mike was stuck open and didnt realise it. I tried to contact him via HF to let him know, but he wasnt on air.
Of course I couldnt reply, so I just listened to him getting more frustrated, eventually swearing at me because I wasnt on the MBZ because I was a ####head or something. Heard him even calling V speeds.
He finally listened to his HF to give a DEP report.
You could actually hear the ******s jaw drop when he found out!! (I had a couple of words to him on the MBZ to which he didnt reply!)
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I have a friend (alright it was ME) that had the PTT get stuck during takeoff at YBAF one fine morning.
Had the better half along for the ride who simply doesn't shut up at the best of times, let alone airborne! So, everyone on freq copped her rantings on what a bastard I was for ignoring her as well as her attempts to see if she could get the intercom working by singing 'la la la la' over and over again in her velvetly dulcet tones.
Gave the boys in the tower a huge chuckle apparently.
l_b
Had the better half along for the ride who simply doesn't shut up at the best of times, let alone airborne! So, everyone on freq copped her rantings on what a bastard I was for ignoring her as well as her attempts to see if she could get the intercom working by singing 'la la la la' over and over again in her velvetly dulcet tones.
Gave the boys in the tower a huge chuckle apparently.
l_b
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so many stories ... I to was an FSO, in a former life PD .. (pre Dick)
I was working flat chewy on the delightful FIS 7 which was PH to roughly 150 or so north of Meeka and everything west of that to the coast and and a big chunk of the southern GAFFA ... one arvo I was so busy it was to the mars bar line plus. (There were 4 of us working the cct - 1 voice operator, 1 co-ord and 2 traffic spotters it was utter bedlam with NO hope of splitting the workload off) .. bless him, the skipper of the Skywest F50 out of Laverton or somewhere near there heading off to Meeka and thinking he was on PA gave the FA the pointy ends crew refreshment order, without thinking there were a couple of double bourbons hold the mixers requested from my end, and I do believe that the rest of the orders I heard on VHF would have kept the Swans brewery in the black for months! red face x 1, relief by lots that shift ...
then there was the male voice of a single engine lighty driver heading north from Elliot (in the NT) to the thriving metropolis of Lajamanu (near Daly Waters, NT) ... he was obviously showing someone something connected to cattle and stations and other such related stuff and I (and everybody else on the freq.) got to hear all f**k*** about f**k*** it and f**k*** every f**k*** thing f**k*** else ... it lasted for nearly 20 minutes - sheesh and the say women can talk! I don't f**k*** think so!
ah yes ..
and then there was my mate .. a certain Dashing Captain now down WA way skippering his way through the wild blue, who, in some far flung remote city place, complete with his favourite FO decided to put a little spin on a PA announcement and inserted the then preferred tape, which unfortunately was at the wrong spot, and proceeded to give everytone a diatribe from a John Travolta movie (the name of which escapes me but features Zed ...) instread of the pleasant music they had hoped for!!
memories ......
I was working flat chewy on the delightful FIS 7 which was PH to roughly 150 or so north of Meeka and everything west of that to the coast and and a big chunk of the southern GAFFA ... one arvo I was so busy it was to the mars bar line plus. (There were 4 of us working the cct - 1 voice operator, 1 co-ord and 2 traffic spotters it was utter bedlam with NO hope of splitting the workload off) .. bless him, the skipper of the Skywest F50 out of Laverton or somewhere near there heading off to Meeka and thinking he was on PA gave the FA the pointy ends crew refreshment order, without thinking there were a couple of double bourbons hold the mixers requested from my end, and I do believe that the rest of the orders I heard on VHF would have kept the Swans brewery in the black for months! red face x 1, relief by lots that shift ...
then there was the male voice of a single engine lighty driver heading north from Elliot (in the NT) to the thriving metropolis of Lajamanu (near Daly Waters, NT) ... he was obviously showing someone something connected to cattle and stations and other such related stuff and I (and everybody else on the freq.) got to hear all f**k*** about f**k*** it and f**k*** every f**k*** thing f**k*** else ... it lasted for nearly 20 minutes - sheesh and the say women can talk! I don't f**k*** think so!
ah yes ..
and then there was my mate .. a certain Dashing Captain now down WA way skippering his way through the wild blue, who, in some far flung remote city place, complete with his favourite FO decided to put a little spin on a PA announcement and inserted the then preferred tape, which unfortunately was at the wrong spot, and proceeded to give everytone a diatribe from a John Travolta movie (the name of which escapes me but features Zed ...) instread of the pleasant music they had hoped for!!
memories ......
Bottums Up
Makes one cringe, dunnit!
Bundy for Lady Elliot, circa 1990, in a full Twotter. "Lady Musgrave visible to the North, Sandy Cape, part of the world's largest sand island, to the South, yadda, yadda, yadda."
As soon as I finished, I somehow knew it was on HF and hoped that no one heard.
BN FS were as quick as a flash, and seemed to take considerable pleasure in telling me how much the HF guys enjoyed the speel!
While we're on faux pas, QF 76 the other day, ex Cairns, gave the tower a rather stuck up request that the tower get me to expedite my backtrack for RWY15, obviously not knowing that I was only backtracking to kill the 3 minute wake turbulence delay, which resulted from one of his colleagues taking off a nano second before he called ready.
Bundy for Lady Elliot, circa 1990, in a full Twotter. "Lady Musgrave visible to the North, Sandy Cape, part of the world's largest sand island, to the South, yadda, yadda, yadda."
As soon as I finished, I somehow knew it was on HF and hoped that no one heard.
BN FS were as quick as a flash, and seemed to take considerable pleasure in telling me how much the HF guys enjoyed the speel!
While we're on faux pas, QF 76 the other day, ex Cairns, gave the tower a rather stuck up request that the tower get me to expedite my backtrack for RWY15, obviously not knowing that I was only backtracking to kill the 3 minute wake turbulence delay, which resulted from one of his colleagues taking off a nano second before he called ready.
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Coupla weeks ago, on BN Centre, retransmitted around QLP on 118.8, CV 124.8, ROM 126.0, MA , MTI etc
- click"....Foxtrot Mike *******, contact me now on 126.0. So when you finish there, then you gotta put it in and out (unreadable mumble mumble mumble) wrap it up in Glad Wrap ha-ha-ha....(etc for about 2 minutes) Foxtrot Mike *******, Centre."click
"Ah, yes Centre, read you fives - have been for some minutes now, what was that about the Glad Wrap again?"
Deathly silence.........
Anyone able to fill in the gaps on this one?
- click"....Foxtrot Mike *******, contact me now on 126.0. So when you finish there, then you gotta put it in and out (unreadable mumble mumble mumble) wrap it up in Glad Wrap ha-ha-ha....(etc for about 2 minutes) Foxtrot Mike *******, Centre."click
"Ah, yes Centre, read you fives - have been for some minutes now, what was that about the Glad Wrap again?"
Deathly silence.........
Anyone able to fill in the gaps on this one?
Bugsmasherdriverandjediknite
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Megle, what do ya wanna know about it?. I fly around and scare goats and station hands until the whole mess ends up in a corner.......then I go home and drink Jim Beam.......god I love those three hour days.
Oh and I might mention (though I shouldnt coz nobody heard it) that this very afternoon my speech to the station hand about "if you aint gunna go into that wash and get them goats, you may as well f8ck off home then coz yer as usefull as a ashtray on a motorbike anyway" was followed by a Beep back:o :o
Oh and I might mention (though I shouldnt coz nobody heard it) that this very afternoon my speech to the station hand about "if you aint gunna go into that wash and get them goats, you may as well f8ck off home then coz yer as usefull as a ashtray on a motorbike anyway" was followed by a Beep back:o :o
Last edited by the wizard of auz; 14th May 2002 at 10:52.