PPRuNesett
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Tasmania
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PPRuNesett
I've thought of a great solution to our woes at Ansett - Pprune can buy it!!! Pprunesett - has a nice ring to it. Best idea I've had all year. I can then be a Ppruner at work and at home 
Now who was it said Pprune is not addictive?
Now who was it said Pprune is not addictive?
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Pprune flight PP01 from Sydney to Melbourne and ports beyond. This is Captain PPrune speaking, our first officer for today is P Prune. We hope you'll enjoy your flight today, the weather forecast enroute is fine and there should be no delays.
For those interested in the route we'll be flying today, we'll begin by taxying as far as possible from the terminal, then depart on runway 34 right, with a right-hand turn shortly after takeoff for noise abatement and to avoid seeing the Air New Zealand billboard on the road below. Then we'll climb through the fog of corporate mismanagement, with some alterations to our course to avoid the turbulence of competition, climbing to a cruising altitude of several billion dollars.
Our route will then take us out over Wollongong and towards Canberra, where passengers on the left side of the aircraft may catch a glimpse of Federal Parliament House, where many corporate bailouts have occurred.
Our track then takes us near Albury and shortly after that we'll begin descent by reducing corporate debt and some possible judicious use of financial spoilers to get rid of unwanted funds.
We should arrive in Melbourne on time where the weather is fine and mild with a chance of late afternoon thunderstorms, a possible heatwave in the late evening and scattered snowstorms overnight.
Again, welcome to Pprunesett, and we'd like to assure you that we're certainly going to enjoy taking you for a ride just as much as you're going to enjoy giving us the business!"
For those interested in the route we'll be flying today, we'll begin by taxying as far as possible from the terminal, then depart on runway 34 right, with a right-hand turn shortly after takeoff for noise abatement and to avoid seeing the Air New Zealand billboard on the road below. Then we'll climb through the fog of corporate mismanagement, with some alterations to our course to avoid the turbulence of competition, climbing to a cruising altitude of several billion dollars.
Our route will then take us out over Wollongong and towards Canberra, where passengers on the left side of the aircraft may catch a glimpse of Federal Parliament House, where many corporate bailouts have occurred.
Our track then takes us near Albury and shortly after that we'll begin descent by reducing corporate debt and some possible judicious use of financial spoilers to get rid of unwanted funds.
We should arrive in Melbourne on time where the weather is fine and mild with a chance of late afternoon thunderstorms, a possible heatwave in the late evening and scattered snowstorms overnight.
Again, welcome to Pprunesett, and we'd like to assure you that we're certainly going to enjoy taking you for a ride just as much as you're going to enjoy giving us the business!"
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: In the J curve
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Well done Foxy, a good shot at humour in this otherwise humourless week.
Lets hope the humour remais in this thread.
My addition, is senority based on number of posts or number of hours ??
God lets hope its not posts, can you imagine Capt. Gaunty !!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me off RFN.
Lets hope the humour remais in this thread.
My addition, is senority based on number of posts or number of hours ??
God lets hope its not posts, can you imagine Capt. Gaunty !!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me off RFN.
Don Quixote Impersonator
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Australia
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"Harumph!!"
says Capt Gaunty, pulling on his white chamois leather gloves, shooting the cuffs of his pure white linen shirt under his cashmere uniform jacket and flicking a bit of dust off his gleaming gold bars.....
"my sexual advisor critical mass seems to have stuffed up the data entry into the FMS again and has us going the down the up route to Melbourne......tosh and fig..... I say old chap, just call up those control wallahs and tell em we are diverting a little west of track due to heavy bulls hit over Canberra"
carefully puts down tea and cucmumber sanger , presses stew call button.
"ponnnnnnnnggg"
"I say young gel would you be so kind as to confirm my dinner reservations at Vlados for tonight, make sure my man has the car waiting, and you have a freshly ironed shirt ready for me before arrival"
"Now, then young AMRAAM, field demotion to SO for you, unless you can work out how to get my cash flow back on track and going in the direction of my Swiss bank account, now there's a good lad."
Aaaaah the joys of command!!
says Capt Gaunty, pulling on his white chamois leather gloves, shooting the cuffs of his pure white linen shirt under his cashmere uniform jacket and flicking a bit of dust off his gleaming gold bars.....
"my sexual advisor critical mass seems to have stuffed up the data entry into the FMS again and has us going the down the up route to Melbourne......tosh and fig..... I say old chap, just call up those control wallahs and tell em we are diverting a little west of track due to heavy bulls hit over Canberra"
carefully puts down tea and cucmumber sanger , presses stew call button.
"ponnnnnnnnggg"
"I say young gel would you be so kind as to confirm my dinner reservations at Vlados for tonight, make sure my man has the car waiting, and you have a freshly ironed shirt ready for me before arrival"
"Now, then young AMRAAM, field demotion to SO for you, unless you can work out how to get my cash flow back on track and going in the direction of my Swiss bank account, now there's a good lad."
Aaaaah the joys of command!!
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Age: 84
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Fox Fire: You beat me to it, I was just about to put your idea on line! I was thinking about it last night and had some terrible thoughts - would 89'ers be welcome, and what level of conflict could we expect in the cockpit between them and the "heroes"?
The mind boggles! Can anyone suggest some cockpit announcements now?
If that doesn't get some reaction, I don't know my fellow PPRuNers.
Kind regards,
TheNightOwl.
The mind boggles! Can anyone suggest some cockpit announcements now?
If that doesn't get some reaction, I don't know my fellow PPRuNers.
Kind regards,
TheNightOwl.
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: North son, I say go North..........
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Definatley seniority based on posts and date joined. - there may be hope for me yet.....
Entree -
A lovely delicacy of Prune Canopys
Mains -
Steak with a Prune sauce and salad with slivers of prune
Dessert -
Fresh Prunes with ice cream or dried Prunes
Of course to wash it all down a huge glass of Prune juice.
Now try and tell me we wouldn't have regular? passengers
HA.
Entree -
A lovely delicacy of Prune Canopys
Mains -
Steak with a Prune sauce and salad with slivers of prune
Dessert -
Fresh Prunes with ice cream or dried Prunes
Of course to wash it all down a huge glass of Prune juice.
Now try and tell me we wouldn't have regular? passengers
HA.
Basic Pprunesett terminology:-
APU - Auxilary Pprune Unit
FMC - Fruit Management ComPputer
Ppruning the flight time - arriving early
PLE - Pprudent Limit of Endurance
Pprune$ - Pprunesett frequent flyer Ppoints
Pprune Jam - congestion at Pprunesett terminal during Ppeak times
Pprune Juice - Ppilots slang for jet-fuel
Jet-Ppropelled Pprune - Pprunesett 737-400
Ppreferred names for flight attendants:-
Pprue
Pprudence
Pprunella
"Start a movement - Fly Pprunesett!"
APU - Auxilary Pprune Unit
FMC - Fruit Management ComPputer
Ppruning the flight time - arriving early
PLE - Pprudent Limit of Endurance
Pprune$ - Pprunesett frequent flyer Ppoints
Pprune Jam - congestion at Pprunesett terminal during Ppeak times
Pprune Juice - Ppilots slang for jet-fuel
Jet-Ppropelled Pprune - Pprunesett 737-400
Ppreferred names for flight attendants:-
Pprue
Pprudence
Pprunella
"Start a movement - Fly Pprunesett!"
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Tasmania
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Night Owl - As self appointed Aussie CEO (and chief thinkeruperer) no dissention in the cockpit will be tolerated <glares balefully at anyone within range from the impressive height of 5’3.5” and looks fierce enough to scare EVERYBODY into submission>
There might be
And if people don’t
Perhaps
Or
So in other words
There might be
And if people don’t
Perhaps
Or
So in other words
Join Date: Feb 2000
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Will ya get a load of this???
The idea is ten minutes old and ALREADY the management are threatening the staff with the chop!!!
As the only PPRuNer that is a member of the CFMEU I vote myself Aircrew Union boss; Fox Fire, you and I need to talk!
[ 20 September 2001: Message edited by: Bendo ]
The idea is ten minutes old and ALREADY the management are threatening the staff with the chop!!!
As the only PPRuNer that is a member of the CFMEU I vote myself Aircrew Union boss; Fox Fire, you and I need to talk!
[ 20 September 2001: Message edited by: Bendo ]
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place
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"Ladies and Gentlemen, could we have your attention for a moment while we demonstrate the safety features of this EX-Ansett aircraft.................................................... ............................................................ .......Thank you for your attention."
Medicinal Moderatreuse
Join Date: May 2001
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I'd like to put my hand up to provide "Medical Advice/General Nursing Care" for staff and passengers.....with the amount of prunes that may well be consumed, I think such advice will be very timely!!
Nurse Min,
A very timely and useful suggestion and one I wholeheartedly endorse...as long as you wear your nurse's uniform! (Then Feeton Terrafirma will collect the maximum amount of Pprune$ ever handed out by any airline ever!)
(edited because the keyboard still hasn't learned to spell!)
[ 23 September 2001: Message edited by: criticalmass ]
A very timely and useful suggestion and one I wholeheartedly endorse...as long as you wear your nurse's uniform! (Then Feeton Terrafirma will collect the maximum amount of Pprune$ ever handed out by any airline ever!)
(edited because the keyboard still hasn't learned to spell!)
[ 23 September 2001: Message edited by: criticalmass ]