There's always someone worse off

[Latearrival]

When it comes to computers, I'm often embarrassed by my ignorance and I very much appreciate the patience and willingness to help of those on this forum.

So, when I found the following on my homepage this morning and it made me feel considerably better.

The following are a number of transcribed conversations to technical support

Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and --.
Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
==============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
==============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.
===============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer:
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
=============== ..
Tech support: "Okay Mickey, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P " to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

[green granite]

If you want more try: Computer Stupidities

[Saab Dastard]

"Change user and press any key"...


...usually gets them off the phone!



SD

[green granite]

But I don't have an ANY key.

[LH2]

I see these are new ones. I particularly liked the colour printer one.

[Farmer 1]

So, who was it who didn't/wouldn't have a P - Mickey or Colin?

I think we should be told.

[Latearrival]

Good grief Green Granite….took a quick look at that site. Next time I have six months to spare, I’ll try to make a serious dent in it. What’s available on the Internet never ceases to amaze me.