Translated to American english, suppose one would be "mam, can I please have a seat belt extension".

Translated back to English English, this would be "Mother, can I please have a seat belt extension"?

Thread continues to be as hilarious as ever:ok:

The other day at work we had long delays due to fog. I heard the following and was completely dumbfounded.

Pax: Why can't anyone do anything about the fog?
Me: *long pause* "I'm sorry, are you actually being serious?"

The pax then realised what they had actually said.

Not a passenger comment but noteworthy. I got this in an email from a friend who works for a Traffic Department in SA.

Recently heard this from an old ex CC friend, thought it was fitting:


CC: Can I get you a drink Sir?

Pax: I'll have a G & T please.

Pax: Oh, sorry...that's a Gin and Tonic to the likes of you.

CC: Certainly Sir. Ice and a Slice?

CC: Oh, sorry...that's a lump of frozen water and a chunk of fruit!!

Qatar airways flight LHR-DOH...service is largely over, the sunset cabin mood lights are on and Business Class cabin on the A330 is quiet....very, very quiet and your sincerely having bagged a super lunch with all the bells, whistles and the odd glass of wine or three is working his way through his favourite Johnny Cash albums on the superb IFE...and of course using those excellent noise cancellling headsets

As I was subsequently told by my wife, at some point in this comfy, safe, warm, relaxing environment, someone in the cabin not a million miles away from her shouts out "My name is Sue, how do you do, now you gonna die!"

I just think,...why is everyone looking at me?

this was at an EK OD today. It wasn't on a plane, but it's just really silly.

So we have our little briefing and presentation and were told we could ask questions and one bright spark asks the following;

Man: So, I heard that if the cabin crew are getting to the tickets and for the free can they do it also when not?
R.O: I'm sorry, I don't quite follow
Man: Okay, so like they are getting the tickets for free yeah?
R.O: Yes, Cabin Crew get annual leave tickets
Man: Yes okay, so if I do not get this job I can still get that tickets?
*R.O Looks at another R.O and says "thats a good one" away from the mic, but it was slightly audible*
R.O: No :)

:D

:ugh: That's probably the fifth or the sixth time that old chestnut has appeared on this thread! :ugh:

Yes, it was also on one episode of ITVs Airline too. The purser said it.

I seem to remember his name was BJ, which made me titter. He also had the line when asked why you couldn't smoke on board when they sold duty free fags, and he replied, "Well madam, they sell condoms in Boots, need I say more?!"

Indeed it was BJ - he's still flying for Thomson as Cabin Manager and what a great guy he still is!

That is good to hear, seemed like a jolly good chap on the telly. Repeats on Pick TV these days, he was on it last night skiing with Tony Underwood and some pro skier, hilarity ensued. If he reads this, nice work on the slopes. Hope he tried skiing again!

Serious Matters
 

On a flight a man comes to me and asks me in a low voice:
'Can I use the toilet?'
I say: 'Yes, off course.' and point at the loo door.
He bends forward and whispers:
'Yes, but can I go for No2?'
I reply very assertively:
'Yes Sir, but you need to flush the toilet !'

Priceless !!! :ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

Not so sure about that, spending Scottish notes anywhere south of Manchester is a nightmare, and spending Channel Islands notes anywhere north of Southampton, Poole or Exeter pretty much the same. And as for Isle of Man, apart from Liverpool, impossible.

Many years ago a London ethnic minority ice cream salesman refused to accept my Jockgeld. I wonder how long the cones with which he was left lasted in the blazing sun? :}

That's probably the fifth or the sixth time that old chestnut has appeared on this thread!

That story has been running for years.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ............... Which particular one!

Somewhere there's an SAA check in agent who may remember being asked by a young man if he could have a seat near the braai (that's the proper word for what the rest of the world calls a barbecue) on a CPT - LON flight.

A friend of mine came over and on the way to the airport I told him that on the northbound flights from CPT they had a braai on board, and when you check in you ask for a seat near that and they give you a little pack of chops and wors. He did!

That's so cute, particularly the chops pack part.

When Vietnam Airlines started flying into Australia there were stories about passengers (usually poor relatives of people who had settled in Australia and paid for their tickets over) setting up portable gas stoves in the aisle to cook lunch. Apparently they were very pleased when told lunch was provided. How the stoves got through security is anyone's guess. :eek:

Personal favourite question: "Is this the Qantas/Virgin etc. terminal?" It's always asked by people surrounded by Qantas signs, Qantas staff, Qantas advertisements, a bunch of Qantas aircraft sitting outside the window, etc. I know people get a bit doughy when they travel but still...

I honestly don't know who comes out looking more stupid from that oh-so witty little tale: the guy who asked for the seat, or the fool who told him the story.

And in the news today, it has been reported that the worlds first sense of humour by-pass operation has been declared a complete success. :E