I once fell into the avionic compartment of a 767 and came out looking like Ben Stiller in Zoolander advertising the brand "Derelict" :rolleyes:

Once did a tea/coffee service with my shirt hanging out of my fly. A lovely old lady politley told me.
Always make sure now that my zipper is up. :O

Managed to do the entire safety demo with my shirt hanging out of my zip. And why did it have to be a Sat night IBZ. Oh the shame........

:\After just waking from crew rest, still feeling very sleepy, I was walking through the cabin. In the aisle seat was a lady with a newbornish baby, Feeling quite broody at the time i stopped and stroked the babies head. Much to the womans horror , she was breast feeding and i hadnt stroked his head but her right breast. Mortified, i actually swopped aisles as i couldnt face her for the rest of the flight.

OMG i am finding thease real funny, Thanks to every one that posted, you have made my day :D:D:D:D

Keep posting :ok:

Well, I was reading through these posts with a grin on my face but pokergirl I nearly choked with laughter on yours. Good on you.:ok:

haha same here pokergirl, I was just trying to imagine what I would have done if it happened to me..!

Feeling sleepy between meal services,I headed for one of the nearest jumpseats.Forgetting that you have to actually hold the seat part down before you sit-I ended up flat on my derriere!!!Luckily it was a night flight and most pax asleep......

Having a bit of an 'off with the fairies' moment during the safety demo, i snapped out of it and looked around to see the crew showing the exits while i was standing there still holding up the seatbelt which i was yet to demonstrate.

On the second half of a London layover, I was sitting in the lounge LHR during pre-flight briefing ready to head home when I noticed a rather large, and very obvious, lump in the lower leg of my trousers. To my horror - in front of 16 crew and a lounge full of passengers - it turned out to be the pair of tights I had worn the day before. Nice.

Opened up the lav door by accident. This "person looked at me in the mirror while standing up and doing "his" job. Went to my colleuge and told her what just happend of course we were both laughing,but then the shocker. It was an old lady doing her job while standing lol...:eek:

Will never forget the face from my colleuge and myself lmao haha
I'm sorry but that's just not right := lol

Claudinho

Hahaha! These posts are awesome! I'm supposed to leave for some meeting, but can't help going through them. Thanks mates! ;)

A few years ago (before Euros) a lady on a charter to Palma held out a handful of coins to me asking "do i have enough potatoes for a vodka love?"

this didnt happen to me, but a lady on one of my flights couldnt get the lid off the orange juice. man, she was trying so hard to get it off haha. and when she did the juiced went flying out of the container, onto chairs and pax. she couldnt stop apologising.

On a narrowbody United flight, the guy in the aisle seat next to me asked for a 7-Up when the drinks trolley came round. The can must have been rolling around in the cart as when the lady opened it, she got the 'fountain' effect and covered the poor guy. she was mortified and couldn't stop apologising. After getting some towels to help him clean up, she came back a number of times to offer him anything on the trolley free of charge. He saw the funny side, though.

i had 2 norwegian lesbians wanting to go to the toilet together.They quit when they saw i spotted them. I said "dont worry , for me its fine go ahead!" i had a chat with one of them and in the end of the flight she gave me a kiss!

I managed to whack a passenger (hard) in the head when doing the demo today! Nice one, sinala1.......... lucky they laughed though! :eek: :ooh: :O

In my first year of flying, when i was very naive, i was helping the number 2, who had just been called out and arrived at the a/c just before closing the doors to push back, get her case in to the over head locker.

As i pushed the bag in, the bundle of in-flight mags came out and hit the lady sat underneath on her temple, causing quite a fair size craze!

Her husband kicked off a touch,but i managed to passify them both with a few free drinks just after take-off.

In shear panic and fear about getting a bo**cking, i kept it too myself until the end of the season.:=

Charter Airline, mid eighties, my first year as Crew. 737 night flight to somewhere in Spain and just started clearing in after meal service. Used to collect in these plastic meal trays by hand and due to half full cups of tea /coffee etc would try to hold trays away from body. Maximum number was never supposed to exceed 9 at a time but due to me and my mate showing off in front of the senior hostie (who we both fancied), decided to out do each other. For me, that was a big mistake. 6 rows to go before sanctuary of the galley, when I started to feel the middle few trays slide out. While it might not have been a problem holding 9, with 20 trays it was simply asking too much. The combination of obstructed view and passengers foot in row 5 resulted in the next few seconds as a blur of crunching plastic, warm liquid and high pitched screams. One might even have been mine! The scene that greeted me was not a pretty one with plenty of heads covered in dirty cutlery, left over cottage pie and lemon mousse. Facing forwards, the poor buggers hadn't stood a chance. :uhoh:

But that wasn't the end of the saga................

Banned to the flight deck for half an hour to compose myself, and keep me out of harms way, I spent the next 30 minutes chatting to the Guys before It was my time to visit the loo for a tidy up. They'd been somewhat engaged up until then. There were only two, both at the rear and no bulkhead in the cabin so 130 faces staring ( and some ducking), as I emerged into the Cabin. After the very long walk to the back I cleaned up as best as could before the walk back. But now, there were sniggers and muffled laughing with the odd " poor lad". It wasn't until the senior hostie spun me around and stared at my arse that I realised what all the fuss was about. When i'd sat down in the Cockpit, i'd only gone and sat on a mars bar which had smeard a disgusting **** like stain over my backside! Beauty! :O

Needless to say, there was no sh*g for me that layover. :sad:

Ah, BYMONEK - tell me again how glamourous our job is! hahahaha

Great story :ok:

She would probably rather you were a lesbian than a baby-snatcher! :)