If I had a dollar for.....
 

I'm sure we all find that so many things in this job repeat themselves. So in honor of 'groundhog day' I thought I would start the "If I had a dollar" thread.



If I had a dollar...

-for every passenger who told me they were going to write a letter to 'Mr Branson' about good/bad service or a fabulous idea they have for the airline.

-every person I said hello or goodbye to.

If I had a dollar for....


every pax that is reading the Da Vinci Code/a Dan Brown!

:8

For the amount of passengers who can't find the lav up the front of a 737 or how to open the lav door.....what makes people think that the ashtray opens the door rather than a door handle??????

:O

I'd be able to retire
 

1. Pax: What's the name of that little town down there? Me: I have no idea. Pax: But you must fly over it all the time?????
2. Is anything free from the trolley?
3. That one that your asked 20 mins after making the P.E.D PA 'can I use my lap top now'?
4. And of course 'when do we land'?

1. The passenger, on clutching a bloody huge laptop bag/backpack/rollaboard:

"Oh but I'm carrying it on the plane with me."
(Not that 12kg monster, you're not.)

2. On giving the DG challenge to an obvious "frequent flyer":

"yeah, yeah, no dangerous goods, just give me my boarding pass"
(Ever heard of 'please', 'thank you' and 'required by law'?? :})

3. What kind of engines does my plane have?
(Why don't you call up Boeing? I'm just weighing your bags)

4. "What's the weather like in (destination)?"
(Do I look like the bloody BOM?? I don't know, you were outside more recently than me!!! :p)

All tongue in cheek of course, I may htink it but I never say it!! :)

God, I'd be rich though.....! :cool:

oooh skista! the B word? I assume you meant 'Bureau of Meteorology' (don't pay out on me for the spelling ok, I'm just a lowley flightie)!

We know our place of course!, but what we say and what we think are two completley different things......"oh if you could read my mind luuurrrv"!!!!! ......it\'s great to be able to air it on here, don\'t you think? please tell me it\'s OK!!!!! ricci x

Nothing wrong with the spelling, mate. I just forgot some of you would read it as 'Bombay'. Lol.... :p

Oh yes if only they knew what we are thinking...... :E

Good thing they don't, eh????? :}

On the flipside, sometimes I wish I knew what they are thinking......




..when they ask such silly questions!!! hee hee

There was a time when I assumed that anyone that could afford to fly would be reasonably astute, of course now it's like ....oh hello!.....oh that's right..... Greyhound with wings....anybody can fly now, oh how things have changed in such a short time!

"What's in the fish dish?"
- Errm, little scaly thing that swims in the sea?

"So, will you be flying back to London now?"
- Yep, after finishing a 12 hr sector. Grab the broom, stick it between my cheeks and I'll sweep the floor on the way past :)

"Do you get jetlag?"
- Actually a fair question really. But no, I don't and never have fortunately.....

"Can you heat this up in your microwave?"
- Uh huh, of course I can :)

There's plenty more, but I can't think of them at the moment (jetlag :) ), but will post more later on.

And, same same, all in the spirit of fun. I actually enjoy the questions on board. Usually, the customer's see the funny side of your response!

It's funny how, when the penny drops, the pax kinda shrink back into thier seats with a vague blush on thier faces thinking ' oh god I've been humiliated by the bloody space waiter/ess! But, really we've all suffered from 'foot in mouth' at some stage in some situation in our lives, have we not?

"If I had a $$"

"But my Travel Agent promised me":=

"But I ordered a vegetarian":yuk:

"you dont look tired":mad:

On taxi into LAX after operating 14 hours from SYD........

"So you're going straight back now?".

"are we there yet?":}

"Checkin said YOU would sort it out" - usually some sort of seating problem!!!

"I've booked vegetarian....what do you mean you haven't got one???....i'm going to starve on this extra long LGW - Malaga!!!....oh ok then I'll just have sausage and mash"!!!!!!!!!!!!

PAX " i'm a personal friend of Stavros, and I'll be telling him about your rudeness"

ME " well if you're such a good friend of Stavros, you'll know his name is actually STELIOS!"

"I have travelled all over the world with this bag and have never been told it is too heavy for cabin luggage"

"I have travelled all over the world and have never been charged excess for the same weight these bags are now"

er.....I did

:\ :\ :\

"Why do we have to have the window shades up for landing?"

Gee I don't know so you can enjoy the view below ................... or perhaps for you to let us know when you see the engines on fire or another aircraft heading towards us! :E

If I had a dollar for....

everytime I have been asked "Is Qantas delayed too?". When you look outside and the nastly black clouds have caused the airport to be closed down for an hour or two. (I usually answer "No. It's sunny down their end of the terminal!:E ")

smile, I can't BELIEVE how many of them ask stuff like that!!!

"When is the rain going to stop/fog going to lift?"

(Gee, maybe when I run around and do a rain dance... boogaboogaaaboogaaaaahhhh!!!!! :E)