"Plane Insanity" could go the movies
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"Plane Insanity" could go the movies
SOURCE: www.elliotthester.com
FLORIDA - USA
CONTINENTAL DRIFTER
Miami departure by Elliott Hester
click on photos to enlarge
For the first time in my adult life I am keyless. I no longer own apartment
keys, car keys or work-related keys. The keys to my bicycle lock, storage
facility and mailbox have either been returned or tossed away. Keys are no
longer necessary because, as of a few weeks ago, I own almost nothing and
live essentially nowhere. That's when I quit my job, sold all my
possessions, abandoned my apartment and took off, alone, on a one-year trip
around the world.
Well I didn't actually quit my job as a commercial airline flight attendant.
I secured a leave of absence. This gives me two options: return to work at
the beginning of 2004, or accept another one-year leave. With any luck, I'll
be in a position to accept.
The idea for this around-the-world trip took flight in 1989 when I set out
on a three-month global excursion. Armed with $4,000 in travelers checks, I
nickel-and-dimed my way through the South Pacific, Australia, Bali, Thailand
and Nepal. By the time I reached Europe my funds had been depleted and I
returned home, abruptly, having failed to reach many destinations on my
itinerary.
Nevertheless, the experience was an epiphany. Rather than spend hard-earned
money on new cars and electronic toys, as many of my contemporaries were
doing, I began using my disposable income to travel. Two weeks in the Greek
Islands. Twenty days in Spain. Quick jaunts to Central and South America.
But rather than satisfy my appetite for traveling, these trips simply made
me hungry for more. I developed a taste for authentic Thai food, learned to
scuba dive at Australia's Great Barrier Reef, became mesmerized by the
Balinese sunset which, for those who've never seen it, is like watching a
huge ball of orange sherbet melt into the sea. With each new outing the
world became more intriguing and I became more comfortable in it. But like a
fisherman snagging the proverbial flounder, reality kept reeling me back to
shore. There were bills to pay, after all. To satisfy my travel habit I had
to work.
Thanks to good fortune, however, I've finally made the ultimate getaway.
Sales of my first book, "Plane Insanity: A Flight Attendant's Tales of Sex,
Rage and Queasiness at 30,000 Feet" (St. Martin's Press), were healthy
enough to help stave off creditors and breathe life into my defunct savings
account. Believe it or not, Whoopi Goldberg read the book and thought it was
funny. Her people spoke to my person and voila! Through her production
company, Whoop Inc., Ms. Goldberg purchased the film option for the book.
No, I didn't get rich. But if the movie goes into production cha ching! The
payday will be sweet. I"m taking fifty of my closest friends to dinner at
McDonald's.
Plane Insanity's success led to a second book deal and a modest advance of
royalties. This new book – which, incidentally, focuses on my
around-the-world trip – is scheduled for publication in Sept., 2004. With
the moderate windfall, I paid off my debts and cleared the runway for
departure.
I plan to spend all of 2003 as a "Continental Drifter". I'll travel west,
from continent to continent, beginning from my former home in Miami and
continuing to South America, Australia, Southeast Asia, Africa and Europe.
The timing of this route allows for a perpetual summer. My travel wardrobe
will consist primarily of T-shirts, shorts, loose-fitting cotton pants and
sunglasses. I'll live out of a duffle bag, eat in low-cost restaurants,
sleep in hostels, discount hotels and occasionally in the home of a
benevolent friend.
After a year of continental drifting, perhaps I'll rent an apartment in the
posh Buenos Aires neighborhood of Recoleta. (With the devaluation of the
Argentinean peso, a stylish one-bedroom apartment costs as little as $300
U.S. per month.) Maybe I'll move to Barcelona and join my sister who has
lived there for the past ten years. Or maybe I'll "go" Hollywood. By some
quirk of fate, the "Plane Insanity" film option names me as co-producer. If
the project gets green-lighted I could be living la vida loca in la la land.
But first things first.
I called American Airlines to get ticket prices. The "OneWorld" alliance
with British Airways, Qantas, Cathay Pacific and other carriers allows
passengers to book itineraries at American's "around-the-world" desk. When
attempting to make reservations, however, the problem with airline alliances
is that you're only allowed to fly on partner carriers. This limits your
itinerary and in some situations forces you to fly hundreds of miles out of
the way. The result can mean higher ticket prices and a more arduous travel
schedule.
Rather than face similar restrictions with United, Delta or USAirways
alliances, I contacted travel agencies that specialize in around-the-world
trips. Two leading agencies, both based in San Francisco, purchase deeply
discounted one-way fares from a variety of carriers and pass on the savings
to customers. Air Brokers International provides excellent services. But in
the end I went with AirTreks.com, mainly because their website's "Trip
Planner" allowed me to add, subtract and shuffle destinations until my
itinerary reached near perfection. Then I clicked a button and within
seconds received an estimated price. It took a few quick phone calls to
workout kinks in the itinerary and obtain a final price.
My flight itinerary looks like this: Miami - Buenos Aires - Miami - Los
Angeles - Papeete, Tahiti - Sydney - (overland to Darwin, Australia) -
Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei - Bangkok - (overland to Singapore) - Bali - New
Delhi, India - (overland to Bombay) - Addis Ababa, Ethiopia - Cairo - Athens
- Prague - Helsinki - Barcelona. Total AirTreks price: around $3,500 (not
including the Miami - Buenos Aires - Miami segment which I secured with an
airline employee pass). After Barcelona I might end up anywhere, so I
haven't purchased a return ticket home. But along the way I'm planning trips
to Vietnam, Russia, Estonia, Hong Kong, and will probably pop in at a few
unexpected places.
Due to recent terrorists attacks, some say this is a bad time to travel.
Immediately following the October, 2002, Bali bombing in which nearly 200
people were killed, for example, the U.S. State Department (and similar
agencies in the United Kingdom, Australia, and other countries) warned
citizens to refrain from traveling to Indonesia. Bali's beaches emptied; the
terrorists won. But we can't let terrorism dictate our every move. I've
visited Bali on two previous occasions and refuse to let the threat of
terrorism prevent me from a third. Although gunmen entered the Hatsheput
Temple in Luxor and murdered 58 tourists in 1997, Egypt remains on my
itinerary. Our world is rife with acts both horrible and sublime. The latter
inspires me to travel. The former makes some of us stay home.
Because I'm a single, 44-year-old with no children, it was easy to leave the
rat race and jettison everything I own. To that end, I sold my car,
television, stereo and every stick of furniture in my apartment. I packed my
collection of books and carted them to the Miami Public Library. Most of my
clothes were donated to Camilla's House, a local homeless shelter. I sent
the few remaining belongings to my mother for safe keeping.
After reducing my life to that which fits into a single suitcase, I needed
to find the right one for the trip. I chose a 35-inch Tumi duffle bag
($525.00) with in-line skate wheels and a retractable handle. Made of
ballistic nylon, it's large enough to hold all my possessions and tough
enough (I hope) to withstand punishment from a worldwide mob of baggage
handlers. Next, I purchased a digital camera and stocked up on Lonely Planet
travel guides -- one for each destination (to lighten the load, I used a
razor blade to cut out thousands of unnecessary pages).
No travel writer worth his adjectives would be caught without a notebook
computer. I selected a Gateway 400XL ($1,699.00), complete with a 15-inch
screen and CD-ROM burner that allows me to save hundreds (perhaps thousands)
of high-resolution digital photos, some of which will be emailed to this
newspaper for publication. To carry and protect the computer, I searched the
Internet and found a Darwin backpack ($141.00) from Willow Designs
www.willowdesign.com. It's one of the few computer backpacks that
accommodates big-screen notebooks and has enough zippered compartments to
store a portable office.
Money is the final concern. In addition to paying off my debts, I cancelled
all but three credit cards and designated one low-finance-charge MasterCard
as the primary credit card for the trip (the two remaining cards have zero
balances and will only be used in emergencies). Online banking allows me to
receive and pay monthly credit card bills, transfer funds between bank
accounts, check balances and receive wire transfers – all this, using my
notebook computer (with America Online local access), or a variety of
computers at Internet cafes throughout the world. For quick cash I'll reach
for my ATM bank card which should work in every country on my itinerary. For
backup, I'm carrying a small stash of traveler's checks.
I've managed to allocate $60 per day for this one-year global adventure.
French Polynesia, Australia and Europe will no doubt exceed the daily limit.
But in Southeast Asia, Africa and the Indian subcontinent – where I plan to
spend a big chunk of time – the low cost of living should balance the
overall budget.
With everything I own in a rolling duffle bag and computer backpack, I'm off
to see the Wizard. Like the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow, perhaps
I'm trying to find some missing attribute. A heart? Courage? A better brain?
And maybe, when this yellow brick road comes to an end, I'll pick up a new
set of keys. But for now, the world is my doorstep. For the first time in my
adult life I am free.
First stop: Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Contact Elliott at megoglobal@hotmail.
FLORIDA - USA
CONTINENTAL DRIFTER
Miami departure by Elliott Hester
click on photos to enlarge
For the first time in my adult life I am keyless. I no longer own apartment
keys, car keys or work-related keys. The keys to my bicycle lock, storage
facility and mailbox have either been returned or tossed away. Keys are no
longer necessary because, as of a few weeks ago, I own almost nothing and
live essentially nowhere. That's when I quit my job, sold all my
possessions, abandoned my apartment and took off, alone, on a one-year trip
around the world.
Well I didn't actually quit my job as a commercial airline flight attendant.
I secured a leave of absence. This gives me two options: return to work at
the beginning of 2004, or accept another one-year leave. With any luck, I'll
be in a position to accept.
The idea for this around-the-world trip took flight in 1989 when I set out
on a three-month global excursion. Armed with $4,000 in travelers checks, I
nickel-and-dimed my way through the South Pacific, Australia, Bali, Thailand
and Nepal. By the time I reached Europe my funds had been depleted and I
returned home, abruptly, having failed to reach many destinations on my
itinerary.
Nevertheless, the experience was an epiphany. Rather than spend hard-earned
money on new cars and electronic toys, as many of my contemporaries were
doing, I began using my disposable income to travel. Two weeks in the Greek
Islands. Twenty days in Spain. Quick jaunts to Central and South America.
But rather than satisfy my appetite for traveling, these trips simply made
me hungry for more. I developed a taste for authentic Thai food, learned to
scuba dive at Australia's Great Barrier Reef, became mesmerized by the
Balinese sunset which, for those who've never seen it, is like watching a
huge ball of orange sherbet melt into the sea. With each new outing the
world became more intriguing and I became more comfortable in it. But like a
fisherman snagging the proverbial flounder, reality kept reeling me back to
shore. There were bills to pay, after all. To satisfy my travel habit I had
to work.
Thanks to good fortune, however, I've finally made the ultimate getaway.
Sales of my first book, "Plane Insanity: A Flight Attendant's Tales of Sex,
Rage and Queasiness at 30,000 Feet" (St. Martin's Press), were healthy
enough to help stave off creditors and breathe life into my defunct savings
account. Believe it or not, Whoopi Goldberg read the book and thought it was
funny. Her people spoke to my person and voila! Through her production
company, Whoop Inc., Ms. Goldberg purchased the film option for the book.
No, I didn't get rich. But if the movie goes into production cha ching! The
payday will be sweet. I"m taking fifty of my closest friends to dinner at
McDonald's.
Plane Insanity's success led to a second book deal and a modest advance of
royalties. This new book – which, incidentally, focuses on my
around-the-world trip – is scheduled for publication in Sept., 2004. With
the moderate windfall, I paid off my debts and cleared the runway for
departure.
I plan to spend all of 2003 as a "Continental Drifter". I'll travel west,
from continent to continent, beginning from my former home in Miami and
continuing to South America, Australia, Southeast Asia, Africa and Europe.
The timing of this route allows for a perpetual summer. My travel wardrobe
will consist primarily of T-shirts, shorts, loose-fitting cotton pants and
sunglasses. I'll live out of a duffle bag, eat in low-cost restaurants,
sleep in hostels, discount hotels and occasionally in the home of a
benevolent friend.
After a year of continental drifting, perhaps I'll rent an apartment in the
posh Buenos Aires neighborhood of Recoleta. (With the devaluation of the
Argentinean peso, a stylish one-bedroom apartment costs as little as $300
U.S. per month.) Maybe I'll move to Barcelona and join my sister who has
lived there for the past ten years. Or maybe I'll "go" Hollywood. By some
quirk of fate, the "Plane Insanity" film option names me as co-producer. If
the project gets green-lighted I could be living la vida loca in la la land.
But first things first.
I called American Airlines to get ticket prices. The "OneWorld" alliance
with British Airways, Qantas, Cathay Pacific and other carriers allows
passengers to book itineraries at American's "around-the-world" desk. When
attempting to make reservations, however, the problem with airline alliances
is that you're only allowed to fly on partner carriers. This limits your
itinerary and in some situations forces you to fly hundreds of miles out of
the way. The result can mean higher ticket prices and a more arduous travel
schedule.
Rather than face similar restrictions with United, Delta or USAirways
alliances, I contacted travel agencies that specialize in around-the-world
trips. Two leading agencies, both based in San Francisco, purchase deeply
discounted one-way fares from a variety of carriers and pass on the savings
to customers. Air Brokers International provides excellent services. But in
the end I went with AirTreks.com, mainly because their website's "Trip
Planner" allowed me to add, subtract and shuffle destinations until my
itinerary reached near perfection. Then I clicked a button and within
seconds received an estimated price. It took a few quick phone calls to
workout kinks in the itinerary and obtain a final price.
My flight itinerary looks like this: Miami - Buenos Aires - Miami - Los
Angeles - Papeete, Tahiti - Sydney - (overland to Darwin, Australia) -
Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei - Bangkok - (overland to Singapore) - Bali - New
Delhi, India - (overland to Bombay) - Addis Ababa, Ethiopia - Cairo - Athens
- Prague - Helsinki - Barcelona. Total AirTreks price: around $3,500 (not
including the Miami - Buenos Aires - Miami segment which I secured with an
airline employee pass). After Barcelona I might end up anywhere, so I
haven't purchased a return ticket home. But along the way I'm planning trips
to Vietnam, Russia, Estonia, Hong Kong, and will probably pop in at a few
unexpected places.
Due to recent terrorists attacks, some say this is a bad time to travel.
Immediately following the October, 2002, Bali bombing in which nearly 200
people were killed, for example, the U.S. State Department (and similar
agencies in the United Kingdom, Australia, and other countries) warned
citizens to refrain from traveling to Indonesia. Bali's beaches emptied; the
terrorists won. But we can't let terrorism dictate our every move. I've
visited Bali on two previous occasions and refuse to let the threat of
terrorism prevent me from a third. Although gunmen entered the Hatsheput
Temple in Luxor and murdered 58 tourists in 1997, Egypt remains on my
itinerary. Our world is rife with acts both horrible and sublime. The latter
inspires me to travel. The former makes some of us stay home.
Because I'm a single, 44-year-old with no children, it was easy to leave the
rat race and jettison everything I own. To that end, I sold my car,
television, stereo and every stick of furniture in my apartment. I packed my
collection of books and carted them to the Miami Public Library. Most of my
clothes were donated to Camilla's House, a local homeless shelter. I sent
the few remaining belongings to my mother for safe keeping.
After reducing my life to that which fits into a single suitcase, I needed
to find the right one for the trip. I chose a 35-inch Tumi duffle bag
($525.00) with in-line skate wheels and a retractable handle. Made of
ballistic nylon, it's large enough to hold all my possessions and tough
enough (I hope) to withstand punishment from a worldwide mob of baggage
handlers. Next, I purchased a digital camera and stocked up on Lonely Planet
travel guides -- one for each destination (to lighten the load, I used a
razor blade to cut out thousands of unnecessary pages).
No travel writer worth his adjectives would be caught without a notebook
computer. I selected a Gateway 400XL ($1,699.00), complete with a 15-inch
screen and CD-ROM burner that allows me to save hundreds (perhaps thousands)
of high-resolution digital photos, some of which will be emailed to this
newspaper for publication. To carry and protect the computer, I searched the
Internet and found a Darwin backpack ($141.00) from Willow Designs
www.willowdesign.com. It's one of the few computer backpacks that
accommodates big-screen notebooks and has enough zippered compartments to
store a portable office.
Money is the final concern. In addition to paying off my debts, I cancelled
all but three credit cards and designated one low-finance-charge MasterCard
as the primary credit card for the trip (the two remaining cards have zero
balances and will only be used in emergencies). Online banking allows me to
receive and pay monthly credit card bills, transfer funds between bank
accounts, check balances and receive wire transfers – all this, using my
notebook computer (with America Online local access), or a variety of
computers at Internet cafes throughout the world. For quick cash I'll reach
for my ATM bank card which should work in every country on my itinerary. For
backup, I'm carrying a small stash of traveler's checks.
I've managed to allocate $60 per day for this one-year global adventure.
French Polynesia, Australia and Europe will no doubt exceed the daily limit.
But in Southeast Asia, Africa and the Indian subcontinent – where I plan to
spend a big chunk of time – the low cost of living should balance the
overall budget.
With everything I own in a rolling duffle bag and computer backpack, I'm off
to see the Wizard. Like the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow, perhaps
I'm trying to find some missing attribute. A heart? Courage? A better brain?
And maybe, when this yellow brick road comes to an end, I'll pick up a new
set of keys. But for now, the world is my doorstep. For the first time in my
adult life I am free.
First stop: Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Contact Elliott at megoglobal@hotmail.
Join Date: Jun 2003
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Great to have the opportunity to say how much I loved the book, read it from cover to cover in one sitting pretty much. I don't know why there aren't more books from aircrew (when the hell is someone going to write the jet-age successor to Fate Is The Hunter?!). Nice work - keep it up and the very best of luck with the new project.
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Los Angeles,CA,USA
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After you've read one F/A book, you've read them all. They can be quite boring. Plus, there are too many.
"Coffee, Tea or Me" is stil, the all-time classic.
A "Fate is the Hunter" repeat would be good, but Hester won't be writing that.
He must feel pretty arrogant about keeping his job at American while all 4100 TWA F/As get laid-off July 1st, the most senior being hired in 1954. Must be nice to be able to just take a leave, fly off and not have to worry about supporting a family or paying rent.
"Coffee, Tea or Me" is stil, the all-time classic.
A "Fate is the Hunter" repeat would be good, but Hester won't be writing that.
He must feel pretty arrogant about keeping his job at American while all 4100 TWA F/As get laid-off July 1st, the most senior being hired in 1954. Must be nice to be able to just take a leave, fly off and not have to worry about supporting a family or paying rent.
