Comedy pre-flight safety briefings
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: sunny south now....
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Not totally in the scheme of things but i thought it was quite a good story - so i will share.
One of the larger carriers deceided new comapany policy for the captain of first officer to thank the passengers off the aircraft after the flight.
on that particular day the first officer had performed the landing and it was to say the least a tad hard.
due to the landing the captain deceided it was the FO's turn to thank the passenger.
Red faced the FO thanked each passenger for flying with X airline.
a little old lady with walking stick approached said FO and in a quiet croaky voice said "son, could i ask you a question?"
the FO smiled at the little old lady and replied in his best company voice "of course you can madam".
"well she said, i was just wondering if we landed or were SHOT down!!!"
and once again the FO was red faced.
One of the larger carriers deceided new comapany policy for the captain of first officer to thank the passengers off the aircraft after the flight.
on that particular day the first officer had performed the landing and it was to say the least a tad hard.
due to the landing the captain deceided it was the FO's turn to thank the passenger.
Red faced the FO thanked each passenger for flying with X airline.
a little old lady with walking stick approached said FO and in a quiet croaky voice said "son, could i ask you a question?"
the FO smiled at the little old lady and replied in his best company voice "of course you can madam".
"well she said, i was just wondering if we landed or were SHOT down!!!"
and once again the FO was red faced.
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Retired to Bisley from the small African nation
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Then there was the military helo crewman whose pax safety brf to the grunts consisted of "FOLLOW" on the sole of the left boot, and "ME" on the sole of the right boot . . .
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: About to join the A1, UK
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Again slightly away from the thread. During a post landing informal debrief from a Scandanavian stewardess addressing the FO, she said, in a very persuasive lilt, "...you are supposed to kiss the runway not f**k it!..."
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Hong Kong
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For me one of the best bits about flying BA is the humour you sometimes get from the CSD - it always (about half a dozen times in my experience) seems to be male ones, and normally quite camp...
The one that sticks in my mind was a LHR-CDG full of tired businessmen after a long day where the boss (OK, maybe a purser not a CSD) came on about 20 mins out and said the usual stuff about, finishing with:
"... Cabin crew put the cat out and prepare the cabin for landing"
(mild chortles from a few)
followed a few seconds later by:
"miaaaaaoooooooooow...."
[a pretty good imitation of a startled cat being ejected]
(more or less everyone in the cabin convulsed
)
When we got to the gate the ground crew had a message for someone, so he came on again in his best camp voice and said:
"If there's a Mr X on the plane please could he present himself to the pretty little French thing at the door"
(which doesn't look as amusing as it sounded)
I have to say I had been getting a bit fed up with BA since they tend to suffer by comparison with Cathay who are my main carrier (although I still do enough on BA to have a BA Gold as well as a Cathay Diamond), but this put them back in my good books.
The one that sticks in my mind was a LHR-CDG full of tired businessmen after a long day where the boss (OK, maybe a purser not a CSD) came on about 20 mins out and said the usual stuff about, finishing with:
"... Cabin crew put the cat out and prepare the cabin for landing"
(mild chortles from a few)
followed a few seconds later by:
"miaaaaaoooooooooow...."
[a pretty good imitation of a startled cat being ejected]
(more or less everyone in the cabin convulsed
)When we got to the gate the ground crew had a message for someone, so he came on again in his best camp voice and said:
"If there's a Mr X on the plane please could he present himself to the pretty little French thing at the door"
(which doesn't look as amusing as it sounded)
I have to say I had been getting a bit fed up with BA since they tend to suffer by comparison with Cathay who are my main carrier (although I still do enough on BA to have a BA Gold as well as a Cathay Diamond), but this put them back in my good books.
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: South West England
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I once did a flight with rather a lot of football supporters, who had been celebrating (or drowning their sorrows!) rather a lot. At the end of the PA, I decided to see how many pax had been paying attention to the brief, so
"Ladies and gentlemen, the cabin lights will shortly be dimmed for take off. If you wish to continue reading, or if you are afraid of the dark, you will find reading lights in the panel above your head." 
Obviously the majority of people weren't paying much attention, as only a few chuckles were heard.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the cabin lights will shortly be dimmed for take off. If you wish to continue reading, or if you are afraid of the dark, you will find reading lights in the panel above your head."
Obviously the majority of people weren't paying much attention, as only a few chuckles were heard.
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: www.chinook-justice.org
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My fave from a few weeks ago - Go, STN - EDI (or the other way round, can't remember).
"The Cabin Crew will shortly come through the cabin to collect any items of unwanted rubbish. Ladies - this does not include husbands or boyfriends".
Made my day.
"The Cabin Crew will shortly come through the cabin to collect any items of unwanted rubbish. Ladies - this does not include husbands or boyfriends".
Made my day.
