NASTY PAX LAUGHING AT ME!
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NASTY PAX LAUGHING AT ME!
On a recent flight from CBR - MEL 3 female business pax were laughing and giggling at me during my safety demonstration.
It all started when i was doing the safety demonstration and one of the ladies made a comment under her breath to her two colleagues and they all began to laugh and giggle to the point where they had tears coming down their faces.
This was awfully emabrrasing and made me feel very uncomfortable especially as they were seated right where i stand to conduct the demo. At first i thought i had my fly undone but this was not the case. I diddnt make eye contact with them and continued as if everything was fine.
I generally dont let pax get to me i mean you just cant especially working in this industry, but this particular incident has affected my self esteem almost to the point where i dont want to go to work.
I would appreciate some useful advice on how other crew might have handled this situation.
Thanks MELBRO
It all started when i was doing the safety demonstration and one of the ladies made a comment under her breath to her two colleagues and they all began to laugh and giggle to the point where they had tears coming down their faces.
This was awfully emabrrasing and made me feel very uncomfortable especially as they were seated right where i stand to conduct the demo. At first i thought i had my fly undone but this was not the case. I diddnt make eye contact with them and continued as if everything was fine.
I generally dont let pax get to me i mean you just cant especially working in this industry, but this particular incident has affected my self esteem almost to the point where i dont want to go to work.
I would appreciate some useful advice on how other crew might have handled this situation.
Thanks MELBRO
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I would have lent down just out of ear shot of other passengers and said "Listen bitches I am doing this demo for your benefit, so kindly shut the **** up and look and learn".
Sorry they put you through that though.
Sorry they put you through that though.
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Melbro,
please dont let this put you off the job. i know it can be really uncomfortable sometimes doing the demo when you feel people are sniggering and possibly talking about you. you can feel incredibly vulnerable standing up there with all eyes on you. when ive felt uncomfortable about the way someone is behaving, i tend to just stare straight at the person and try and make them uncomfortable back- you know, purposely make eye contact with them, just a blank faced stare, nothing nasty- and force them to break the stare and look away first- but thats not always the best way to deal with it either.
i dont think theres really an easy answer to it other than to try and just reassure yourself that they are just childish losers. and really thats all they are. for grown adults to think its amusing to make someone else feel so uncomfortable, particularly when your doing your job is just kinda pathetic.
also, its really very possible that they arent actually laughing at you. it maybe just appears that way. you know, maybe something you did, or the PA reminded them of something else that was funny?? its a possibility. ive been in situations before where someone was serving me in a restaurant and myself and my partner started killing ourselves laughing just before the waitress approached us, and i was soooo worried that she would think we were laughing at her- im really concious of things like that- but lots of people arent.
also, i guess if they had been making enough of a fuss that it was really distracting to you and the other pax around them, it might not have been inappropriate to ask them to keep it down a bit so that 'other passengers can hear the safety demo' - this is a valid issue, and ive actually had a passenger tell a couple of other noisy pax to keep it down for this very reason.
its tough at times, but sometimes you just have to be thick skinned- and maybe try not to assume the worst just incase they really werent laughing at you- easier said than done i know, i try and remind myself of this all the time!
and as i said above, please dont let it put you off your job or get you down. people like that just arent worth it.
please dont let this put you off the job. i know it can be really uncomfortable sometimes doing the demo when you feel people are sniggering and possibly talking about you. you can feel incredibly vulnerable standing up there with all eyes on you. when ive felt uncomfortable about the way someone is behaving, i tend to just stare straight at the person and try and make them uncomfortable back- you know, purposely make eye contact with them, just a blank faced stare, nothing nasty- and force them to break the stare and look away first- but thats not always the best way to deal with it either.
i dont think theres really an easy answer to it other than to try and just reassure yourself that they are just childish losers. and really thats all they are. for grown adults to think its amusing to make someone else feel so uncomfortable, particularly when your doing your job is just kinda pathetic.
also, its really very possible that they arent actually laughing at you. it maybe just appears that way. you know, maybe something you did, or the PA reminded them of something else that was funny?? its a possibility. ive been in situations before where someone was serving me in a restaurant and myself and my partner started killing ourselves laughing just before the waitress approached us, and i was soooo worried that she would think we were laughing at her- im really concious of things like that- but lots of people arent.
also, i guess if they had been making enough of a fuss that it was really distracting to you and the other pax around them, it might not have been inappropriate to ask them to keep it down a bit so that 'other passengers can hear the safety demo' - this is a valid issue, and ive actually had a passenger tell a couple of other noisy pax to keep it down for this very reason.
its tough at times, but sometimes you just have to be thick skinned- and maybe try not to assume the worst just incase they really werent laughing at you- easier said than done i know, i try and remind myself of this all the time!
and as i said above, please dont let it put you off your job or get you down. people like that just arent worth it.
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Donīt worry about pax laughing during the safety demo, I get it all the time. I know it is uncomfortable as they make you fell vulnerable and silly. Most probably they were not Laughing about you but with the demo. At the end of the day you are doing your job donīt let this people make you dou of your ability to carry out your job. what I do when this happens is a just stare at them and smile back that should make them stop.
iīm sure you are great at your job so donīt let this thinks get you down!!!!!!!!!
iīm sure you are great at your job so donīt let this thinks get you down!!!!!!!!!
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as a fellow flier i always make sure that i take a long hard look at the whole of the cabin in front of me whilst the no. 1 on the day is doing the intro, take this time to look for abp's etc. look serious whilst you do it, this puts alot of people off, epecially groups of lads/girls on stag/hen nights and group hols.
if this still fails i stop when appropriate and make sure the 1 has noticed (normally by pushing the bell) and go quietly to the pax in question and say in a loud enough voice: if you have something to say would you mind sharing with the whole group (gesticulating to the cabin) or if not please keep it down so the rest of our passengers know what to do in the event of an emergency.
KEEP A GAWDY SMILE PLASTERED ACCROSS YOUR FACE AT ALL TIMES
it's extremely difficult to get angry at someone smiling at you and if you stress the word emergency you are reiiterating the importance of the demo and make them feel childish for behiving in such a manner during a time that is important to everyone not just them.
for repeat perfornmances i have been known to stomp down and say again in a normal voice (but loud enough for people around to hear): you have every right to endanger your own life but no right whatsoever to endanger the people around please keep it down!
that normally nips it in the bud. everyone has a different style so differnet approaches work better for different people, you'll find your own way and in the mean time f**k em, they have no idea how hard your job is and chances are you get paid to be pretty aswell!
if this still fails i stop when appropriate and make sure the 1 has noticed (normally by pushing the bell) and go quietly to the pax in question and say in a loud enough voice: if you have something to say would you mind sharing with the whole group (gesticulating to the cabin) or if not please keep it down so the rest of our passengers know what to do in the event of an emergency.
KEEP A GAWDY SMILE PLASTERED ACCROSS YOUR FACE AT ALL TIMES
it's extremely difficult to get angry at someone smiling at you and if you stress the word emergency you are reiiterating the importance of the demo and make them feel childish for behiving in such a manner during a time that is important to everyone not just them.
for repeat perfornmances i have been known to stomp down and say again in a normal voice (but loud enough for people around to hear): you have every right to endanger your own life but no right whatsoever to endanger the people around please keep it down!
that normally nips it in the bud. everyone has a different style so differnet approaches work better for different people, you'll find your own way and in the mean time f**k em, they have no idea how hard your job is and chances are you get paid to be pretty aswell!
Laughing at you during the safety demo is no big deal. We all get self concious, but at least you have their attention. People learn from funny situations too... If they are distracting other passengers, thats an issue and a polite request to tone it down whilst reminding them its important is usually appropriate first time round.
I dont tend to agree with the serious face - I was always taught to smile, and make eye contact. The less they look at you the more you look at them - not appropriate in all cultures of course.
The ones that concern me are the ones with their heads buried in newspapers but still finding the time to talk loudly to their seatmate.
I used to do flights where the passengers would guaranteed be people we had regularly (mine flights). They had seen our demo hundreds of times. They knew the aircraft as well as we did almost. 99% of the time, these guys were brilliant - showing us the courtesy to keep quiet and look at us. Occasionally theyd be a rowdy bunch, but the rowdyness would be egging the crewmember (whom they knew) on.
I was doing the PA one day, and the guy in 7E (aisle seat) was mimicking all the movements in his seat (no we didnt have him up in the aisle!!!!!). He was bright red giggling, staring at the girl at row 1 doing the demo, and his mates all decided to join in. Was a regular pax as were the rest, so at the end of the demo, i simply added 'and finally on behalf of the crew, we would like to thank mr smith in 7A for his superb demonstration - we are all certain you would make a great flight attendant and we would like to declare you 'honorary flight attendant' for todays flight!' ... Corny i know, but they were paying very close attention (he was very good!) and it was a way of keeping some important information interesting without distorting the message. Oh, and it gave us plenty of entertainment on the long flight, as he was up in the aisle mincing around (butch miner in flanel) after the service. Needless to say he needed some coaching on 'crossing his legs' and 'flicking the pages of womans day without reading it' and saying 'no, get it yourself' - but we got there.
Point of my post - and admittedly its different flying cbr-mel and being laughed at, than flying mount isa to nowhere and being laughed at - is dont be too worried about it if they are looking at you and finding it funny. Chances are they are analysing each sentence of the pa for anything dirty or remotely funny - more than most people. When it comes to the crunch they have absorbed it and will recall it better than the guy with his head in the paper. (Laughing at you = more chance of saving their life).
Of course, if you have someone who has paid no attention, i find going up to them after the demo and going thru it quickly one on one re-inforces what they missed and rams home you take it seriously - without being rude or aggressive. Plenty of time to make up any embarrasment with great service later.
I dont tend to agree with the serious face - I was always taught to smile, and make eye contact. The less they look at you the more you look at them - not appropriate in all cultures of course.
The ones that concern me are the ones with their heads buried in newspapers but still finding the time to talk loudly to their seatmate.
I used to do flights where the passengers would guaranteed be people we had regularly (mine flights). They had seen our demo hundreds of times. They knew the aircraft as well as we did almost. 99% of the time, these guys were brilliant - showing us the courtesy to keep quiet and look at us. Occasionally theyd be a rowdy bunch, but the rowdyness would be egging the crewmember (whom they knew) on.
I was doing the PA one day, and the guy in 7E (aisle seat) was mimicking all the movements in his seat (no we didnt have him up in the aisle!!!!!). He was bright red giggling, staring at the girl at row 1 doing the demo, and his mates all decided to join in. Was a regular pax as were the rest, so at the end of the demo, i simply added 'and finally on behalf of the crew, we would like to thank mr smith in 7A for his superb demonstration - we are all certain you would make a great flight attendant and we would like to declare you 'honorary flight attendant' for todays flight!' ... Corny i know, but they were paying very close attention (he was very good!) and it was a way of keeping some important information interesting without distorting the message. Oh, and it gave us plenty of entertainment on the long flight, as he was up in the aisle mincing around (butch miner in flanel) after the service. Needless to say he needed some coaching on 'crossing his legs' and 'flicking the pages of womans day without reading it' and saying 'no, get it yourself' - but we got there.
Point of my post - and admittedly its different flying cbr-mel and being laughed at, than flying mount isa to nowhere and being laughed at - is dont be too worried about it if they are looking at you and finding it funny. Chances are they are analysing each sentence of the pa for anything dirty or remotely funny - more than most people. When it comes to the crunch they have absorbed it and will recall it better than the guy with his head in the paper. (Laughing at you = more chance of saving their life).
Of course, if you have someone who has paid no attention, i find going up to them after the demo and going thru it quickly one on one re-inforces what they missed and rams home you take it seriously - without being rude or aggressive. Plenty of time to make up any embarrasment with great service later.
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I wouldn't get too up tight over it if I were you.
They may have been laughing at something totally unreleated......even though they may look at you, then start laughing, who's to say it didn't remind them of a funny situation that you are not even part of and they are simply having a giggle over.
And if it was about you, who cares, smile and giggle back at them!
No big deal really.
RaverFlaver
They may have been laughing at something totally unreleated......even though they may look at you, then start laughing, who's to say it didn't remind them of a funny situation that you are not even part of and they are simply having a giggle over.
And if it was about you, who cares, smile and giggle back at them!
No big deal really.
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I once lost it (as a pax) on a DJ flight during the demo... now I am normally really serious but the song playing on the PA reminded me of something really funny... the poor girl kept looking from the cabin to me, I was hiding behind the seat in front, tears down my face and stuffing my hand in my mouth to keep quiet... you know sometimes you just 'get the giggles' so to speak... I couldn't help it... I felt SOOOOOO bad....
Later I did go explain that I wasn't laughing at her... when I told her what it was, she thought it was funny too!!!
Later I did go explain that I wasn't laughing at her... when I told her what it was, she thought it was funny too!!!
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wait till the end of the demo and go to the pax
"if i said brace brace what would u do" in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear. They will look at you blankly. All u need to say is - "If you had paid attention rather than be completley ignorant you would know." and walk away.
I have it loads of times. I have middle aged men have me in tears for the way they have spoke to me or said some comment.
I usually get my own back by pourin eye drops in my eyes down my face and walkin up the cabin as if i have been cryin with my senior. Always makes them squirm
"if i said brace brace what would u do" in a loud enough voice for everyone to hear. They will look at you blankly. All u need to say is - "If you had paid attention rather than be completley ignorant you would know." and walk away.
I have it loads of times. I have middle aged men have me in tears for the way they have spoke to me or said some comment.
I usually get my own back by pourin eye drops in my eyes down my face and walkin up the cabin as if i have been cryin with my senior. Always makes them squirm
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Aww MELBRO, I am sorry to hear this happened to you. But try not to worry too much hun - as it has happened to us all at least once!
I think it all depends on the airline you work for as how to handle the situation. As many F/As have stated above, you can simply give them a big smile, laugh with them or ignore them. However, with certain airlines this is not permitted. I know as an F/A my ex-airline encouraged us to stay stern faced; "safety is not a laughing matter, therefore it should be taken with the utmost professionalism and seriousness". So we'd just make eye contact with the guilty parties and usually (more often than not) this shuts them up. Try it next time. Making prolonged eye contact with someone generally makes them feel self-concious and weary and they will stop whatever it is that they are doing and pay attention. However my new (awesome) airline encourages us to smile and sort through any mishaps. What I generally do is politely explain to them very warmly and politely that what I am demonstrating could save their lives in the unlikely event of an emergency. Generally they feel rather silly and appologise. The frequent flyers will usually just say "sorry love, but I've seen it all a million times". In which case you can make a joke to them about doing the safety demo next time, or ask them where their nearest emergency exit is (just to be sure they really are paying attention).
It is difficult with groups of people - I know. Try doing a safety demo on a charter flight for the Brazillian Soccer Team and entourage and come away unscathed or unembarrassed! LOL! Definitely the most challenging flight I have ever done!!
My advice to you hun, is to just remain thick skinned. Don't take it personally. They very well may have not been laughing at you. And if they were, well it's obvious that if grown women are acting in a such a way that they are petty, pathetic and don't deserve your potentially life saving demonstration anyway
.
I think it all depends on the airline you work for as how to handle the situation. As many F/As have stated above, you can simply give them a big smile, laugh with them or ignore them. However, with certain airlines this is not permitted. I know as an F/A my ex-airline encouraged us to stay stern faced; "safety is not a laughing matter, therefore it should be taken with the utmost professionalism and seriousness". So we'd just make eye contact with the guilty parties and usually (more often than not) this shuts them up. Try it next time. Making prolonged eye contact with someone generally makes them feel self-concious and weary and they will stop whatever it is that they are doing and pay attention. However my new (awesome) airline encourages us to smile and sort through any mishaps. What I generally do is politely explain to them very warmly and politely that what I am demonstrating could save their lives in the unlikely event of an emergency. Generally they feel rather silly and appologise. The frequent flyers will usually just say "sorry love, but I've seen it all a million times". In which case you can make a joke to them about doing the safety demo next time, or ask them where their nearest emergency exit is (just to be sure they really are paying attention).
It is difficult with groups of people - I know. Try doing a safety demo on a charter flight for the Brazillian Soccer Team and entourage and come away unscathed or unembarrassed! LOL! Definitely the most challenging flight I have ever done!!
My advice to you hun, is to just remain thick skinned. Don't take it personally. They very well may have not been laughing at you. And if they were, well it's obvious that if grown women are acting in a such a way that they are petty, pathetic and don't deserve your potentially life saving demonstration anyway
.
Last edited by GorgeousKiwiGal; 28th Mar 2006 at 11:20.
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There are silly people everywhere, and also people who just act silly sometimes. Ignore them, and move on. It's never worth trying to score points off customers: They either don't get it or don't care, or you end up in a blazing row and looking silly yourself. You never can, and never will, change their behaviour, but you can change your own so that it doesn't get to you. You know that your role is important, and so is the demo - that's all that is important!
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Was on a flight recently on Westjet Airlines from Vancouver to Scotsdale. When the flight attendant got going on her safety talk I'm guessing it was a pilot that was getting a ride was at the back of the plane on a mic and everytime the F/A paused there was a hic cup come over the speakers. I don't think that there was a dry eye on the plane.
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Melbro you should have told them to be quiet during the safety briefing and made an example of them in front of the other passengers by saying extremely loudly something like "excuse me but your behaviour is putting the safety of the other passengers at risk as they cannot hear the safety demonstration I am sure that they would like to know what to do in an emergency situation even if you dont" - if it happens again at least you will be better prepared next time - all of us at some stage have had something similiar happen - its not nice but believe me when it happens to you once you make sure your prepared if it happens the second time !
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Or you could put it into perspective. A long time ago I worked in a bar and one day I noticed people laughing and joking....................was it me?
I am not trying to be rude or derrogatory but for gods sake lighten up.
6
I am not trying to be rude or derrogatory but for gods sake lighten up.
6
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I understand why you're anxious about it melbro - I started flying last week, and my safety demo is damn near perfect wehn my IFT is running through it with me, in front of people I get nervous and stuff it up - EVERY TIME - whether I forget the toilets, the exits or drop the mask before I'm supposed to - I cant imagine how bad I'd be if the pax were laughing as me too
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Melbro,
Don't let such harmless situations get you down. At least the lady passengers were laughing and not on your back complaining like hell and writing in to the CEO demanding freebie flights.
I think I would have not been sensitive, but smiled with them as they were obviously enjoying themselves and afterwards enquired to the ladies to let me in on the joke.
Had the ladies giggles disrupted the safety demo, of course politely step in and use body language to silence the noise.
Good luck
Don't let such harmless situations get you down. At least the lady passengers were laughing and not on your back complaining like hell and writing in to the CEO demanding freebie flights.
I think I would have not been sensitive, but smiled with them as they were obviously enjoying themselves and afterwards enquired to the ladies to let me in on the joke.
Had the ladies giggles disrupted the safety demo, of course politely step in and use body language to silence the noise.
Good luck
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Thanks so much everyone for all your helpful advice, it reminded me that their are fellow crew out their going through similar situations. I must admit PPrune is a fantastic way of getting things off your chest.
The fact of the matter is you know when someone is laughing and talking about you and especially when they want you to know. Thats what hurt.
And i guess the reason i got so hung up about it was probably a combination of my own insecurities and just having a bad day. And like i said when i posted the thread im generally not someone who lets pax get to me, especially after 7 years of working in this industry.
But im over it now and today is a new day.
Once again thank you
MELBRO
The fact of the matter is you know when someone is laughing and talking about you and especially when they want you to know. Thats what hurt.
And i guess the reason i got so hung up about it was probably a combination of my own insecurities and just having a bad day. And like i said when i posted the thread im generally not someone who lets pax get to me, especially after 7 years of working in this industry.
But im over it now and today is a new day.
Once again thank you
MELBRO
Last edited by MELBRO; 26th Mar 2006 at 06:31.
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Originally Posted by MELBRO
I must admit PPrune is a fantastic way of getting things off your chest.
The fact of the matter is you know when someone is laughing and talking about you and especially when they want you to know. Thats what hurt.
And i guess the reason i got so hung up about it was probably a combination of my own insecurities and just having a bad day. And like i said when i posted the thread im generally not someone who lets pax get to me, especially after 7 years of working in this industry.
The fact of the matter is you know when someone is laughing and talking about you and especially when they want you to know. Thats what hurt.
And i guess the reason i got so hung up about it was probably a combination of my own insecurities and just having a bad day. And like i said when i posted the thread im generally not someone who lets pax get to me, especially after 7 years of working in this industry.
But im over it now and today is a new day.
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I have been on a number of flights where the cabin crew have been in fits of giggles amongst themselves and not taking safely demonstrations seriously. Its nice to know boot is on the other foot occasionally.