SERIOUS POINT:

Dont forget the correct phraseology when transferring to the first frequency after departure, i.e:

1. Callsign of station adressed
2. Your Callsign
3. Passing Altitude
4. Cleared Altitude (or Level)
5. SID Designation (or alternative instruction e.g. Rwy hdg)

AFAIK That used to be audited as to how many departures complied.

OTHER POINT.

Under british engineering terminology, I believe the term for a valve through which a liquid flows is a COCK.

Shakes *clean* hands

Jeff

Its called the erosion of the English language. Thank fully the authorities are on top of it and will be issuing the necessary amendments shortly and they go something like this;

I got the A I P to educate me
'bout what to expect from the British A T C

Even the aviation industry has to be politically correct so a new aviation phraseology book is being released. For example, where as the currently accepted reply to ATC saying

"G-ABCD contact 124.7" is generally regarded as being "Golf Alpha Brave Charlie Delta contact One Two One Deycimal Se-ven",

its now accepted that in order to be politically correct "twenny for sevn....wikid innit" is acceptable also.



ok.... listen up ya' all


* on many airports (eg Luton) the controller doesn't say "cleared ILS rwy XX", just "descend with the glide". Is this some special procedure? Sometimes we are only cleared for the localizer and have to ask for the glide.
..
The new translation for that is presented herewith......

Descend wiv da Glide
I is by your side
Lookin out for ya hide
enjoy da ride

* ATIS says "report aircraft type on first contact" - first contact with which station?

Its now accepted that this is a suitable reply............

we is a wiked jet innit

* after T/O in many smaller airports we are asked "what services do you request"? - what are our choices? what else than full ATC service?

Its widely known that ATC are there to help us, obviously ordering a Cheeseburger and a Coke is impractical but they can make phone calls for you and again the following request does not phase our controllers..........

slap up ma bitch and tell er i is comin
im gonna be der wiv ma motors runnin
She needs to be ready cause i is on heat
and i is packin a serious chunk of meat

* Northolt offered to chose between PAR and SRE approach - what the hell is the difference?

Its imperative that our European friends understand how we do things in the UK and so, when flying in to UK Military airfields, Pilots will be asked the type of approach they wish to fly. The new AIP will distinguish the options like so...............

First the PAR

U get a P A R from da R A F
u better listen up and not be deaf
left a lil, right a lil up and down
this mofo gonner get us on da grown

Next the SRA

I was in ma shiny jet the ovver day
When this ATC dude offers an S R A
but If ya dont get down ya fly all day
Thats B*****t man and really freakin gay

So if you want to be Gay, fly and SRA
If you want to get to your car, fly a PAR

and why are there 2 separate faucets for hot and cold water in the bathrooms? ;-)

Apparently, even this has an aviation background.......

We got two taps in case 1 of dem fail
i still got da water to wash mi tail
Its come from aviation, its called redundancy
its der for protection of you and me

But personally, i thinks its because we want to give the french, two opportunities to wash!!!!

Global.. you crack me up, thats so funny. Its nice to see some humour brought to a sometimes very boring forum...bro!

Whew! I thought I was the only one that thought this about the UK!

Global.. I vote that as the best post this year!
:ok:

That is PPRuNe GOLD!

Funniest post I have seen for ages. :ok: