Well those animals are hare and there:p

While Pilot training in NZ, was following a Chinese Student Pilot in the circuit on his first solo flight (the airport is NZ's busiest non-controlled). From memory, there were in excess of ten a/c in the circuit at the time, so very busy.

When he turned onto final approach he obviously got the "AAAAHHHH" bug when transmitting......

(In HEAVY Chinese accent):

"AAAAHHHH... Ardmore...AAAAHHHH....TRAFFIC....XYZ123, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH...Oh, it's OK...Already Landed!!!!:p:D

JAR Student Pilot on first flight to Controlled Airport in FL, US.

"Hello Lakeland Tower. I am a Cessna ................."

Okay... that was fun. I've read all 46 pages and I can hardly believe this wasn't posted before:

(if it was you may now punish me)

After a very pumpy landing of a 737 which some would have considered as two or three landings in total, a vigorous flight attendant headed for the com and told the passengers:

"...Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain seats while Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the gate..."

(Dunno if this ever happend.. .but would be funny though) :E

------------------

One morning at Munich:

LH123: "Munich Clearance, Lufthansa123 Good Morning, ready to copy "
ATC:"Errr. roger LH123 Stand by.."
ATC:"... ah ... LH123 we don't have your flighplan, say destination."
LH123: "Well, like every tuesday morning it is Dresden, LH123."
ATC:".. ah LH123 you know...today it's Monday..."
LH123:".... /$§&%§ but on Monday we're off duty!"


Greetz.
Keep it up!! :ok:

Wow, thank you so much for all 46 pages of ATC humour...I read all 46 of them in three sittings (with loo breaks, and to get some more tissue for wiping my eyes....)
Keep 'em coming!

talking about rabbits... (although not strictly ATC humour) I like this, allegedly, true story....

A pilot reports after landing that he had had collided with a rabbit at 10,000ft... no one believes it, and although the pilot is adamant that he saw a rabbit flying towards him just before it impacted on the windscreen, the accident is put down to a bird-strike. Then analysis of the remains clearly reveals it was a rabbit.

It is proposed that a large bird of prey was probably carrying said rabbit, got scared and jetisoned his lunch to aid his escape manouevre... plummeting rabbit fell right into the path of the approaching jet.... Goodnight Bunny!

Regarding having ATIS information Whisky: At Falcon Field where I got my PPL (KFFZ) we frequently reported to ground in groups of three or four aircraft all going to the same destination.

The first one reported "Whisky on board" - the rest reported Jack Daniels, Jophnny Walker and Jim Beam on board.

But I think that crossed every pilots mind.

Regards, Bernhard

don't know if it's apocryphal, but the story always went that information Whiskey was referred to as "The booze news"...usually in an American accent!
Tori

Many years ago a cessna used to transit the Manchester freelane with callsign G-AWWW but used to call Golf triple scotch
quite often

G-I-B

A couple of years ago a good friend of mine had an engine failure in a helicopter.

Him: "... Tower, (callsign) engine failure, I'm going down."
Tower: "ok, do so."

After making a successful autorotation to the ground but being out of sight:

Tower: " ..., do you need any (medical) assistance?"
Him: " Ohhh, thanks for asking but I have the mechanic, being responsible, with me."

:ok:

it may already be buried in this voluminous thread....but....


Recall a story of a boeing or some such taxying to the old Brisbane International Apron ( a journey in itself ), and advised to Tower that they were stopping due a large flock of ducks running around the Apron area - apparently being chased by ground handlers (?).

Tower quick as wink - "Roger when ready taxi to the bay at your discretion - caution Drake Turbulence "

2 Funny things that happened today
 

1st was the Radar Controller vectoring in a military aircraft that had gone out on a test flight.

The callsign was ***08 which is usually used by the Hawk test pilots but today was a C130.

So vectoring the Herc to downwind the ATC without checking what aircraft type it is asks "For our planning will you be deploying your drag chute on landing" still thinking its a hawk.

This is met by great laughter by those around him as we point out it is a C130. Lucky for him the comment was as expected not understood by the Herc crew and there answer was just say again to which he replied disregard rather sheepishly.

2nd saw this FPL when We went to go enter the above sin into the lines Book.

Airforce Herc as well:
(FPL-****-IM
-C130/M-GUD**** /S
-FAWK1200
-N0300F210 MEV DCT LTV/N0300F170 DCT HSV/N0300F200 DCT MEV DCT
-FAWK0300 FALM
-OPR*** RMK/ILS APP FALM FAHS)

Great to see we keep the best equipment onboard.

Speaking of "Information Whiskey" ......

... just after the last Rugby World Cup, the RAAF was providing military ATC at Baghdad Airport in the aftermath of GW2...

... but for the RAF transports, the ATIS after Victor became on at least one occasion: "Information Wilkinson":ok:

There used to be a Lake Amphibian on the Kiwi register ZK-WWW.

It returned to home base one day slung below a helicopter and with a big ding evident in the nose.

This led to speculation that it had become a Triple Scotch on the Rocks. [insert sound of drum roll followed by cymbals].:rolleyes:

Probably not in the infamous Gutersloh line book:

Glider from the local (Pegasus) gliding club with pilot recovering from 200km fast triangle flight or something:

Glider: Good afternoon Gutersloh. Glider XYZ overhead blah di blah requesting final glide approach grass parallel runway XX.

GUT: XYZ hold present location for outbound traffic.

Glider: Holding. (pauses). Gutersloh request contact Pegasus for surface recovery. Grid ref to follow.

A Monarch 757 on an empty positioning flight back to Luton from Bristol lines up and holds ready for a departure to the West initially. Bear in mind the mighty '75' is capable of some v impressive climbs even when laden.

After t/o clearance is issued:

757 (PF) to ATC: "Watch this !"


Made me grin - we never quite seem to grow up



(The former Bristol controller who recounts the tale reckons the a/c was passing FL100 by the time it reached the procedural turn to the North - which is a pretty tidy performance.)

A F50 captain is complaining about his routing into Amsterdam: "I'm seeing parts of Holland I've never seen before" he moaned.

ATC replied:"If you don't shut up, you'll be seeing parts of Germany!".

Made me laugh today

VLM Fokker F50 on his way in to MAN
asked if he wanted to go to 10 miles centrefix
Answer was he didn`t think he could as not modern enough technology But would give it a try with this little Fokker!!!!!!!!

I guess it most have been the accent

G-I-B

After a departing aircraft reported hitting a bird, the guy from the Bird Control Unit searched the runway and said: "I've had a good look and it seems to be a multiple birdstrike, or a very rare bird with three feet!"

I think I was funny...
 

Earlier this summer I was on a photo-flight near the arrival end of the rwy in Vaasa, Finland (EFVA). We were mostly around 200ft agl and about a km off the centreline in our H269 and the weather wasn't CAVOK but ok.
Having spent a few days in the area I knew that the airlines flying there were either Aero flying ATR 72's or Blue1 flying SAAB 2000's. Both companies have white aircraft with a blue tail.

I heard on the radio that IFR-traffic was inbound and TWR told us to move away. We did and shortly after, the IFR-traffic called downwind with rwy in sight for a visual appch. With the traffic in sight I called up to get back to work near the rwy, but had missed the callsign of the approaching traffic...

ME: O-xx have the SAAB on downwind in sight and request clearance over our previous area, staying clear of the final.
TWR: It's an ATR
ME: Yeah... But he wishes he was SAAB! :E
TWR(short pause): Yep... O-xx you're cleared previous area.


Got me smiling anyway.

/2beers