Worst ever Pilot Insults
 

Just wondering what the worst ever insults you've heard are over the R/T from pilots are?

A colleague of mine vectored an aircraft for the ILS, chucked him to Tower and the pilots last gambit was "I've had worse vectoring but I can't remember when" and it wasn't as if the pilot was a friend and it was meant in jest.


Over to you guys!

One of my colleagues got very upset after a pilot said "thank you sir, good night."

She just couldn't see the funny side!!:)

"You're the second best ATC in the world......."

Years ago a pilot complained to Heathrow about a poor approach and got the response: "Would you care to step outside and say that?"

Given up trying to insult ATC. Nowadays I just wait for ATC to heap insults on me, normally from 125.62 at LHR:ok:

A few years back, I had a VFR C150 tell ME to 'standby'.....sheesh!

Qu' esque il dit?

Vectrical hold...if heathrow director sees your post...your doomed!

Being addressed as Liverpool Radio ...:)

Some long time ago......KLM pilot when refused a switch from 09L to 09R (to park at T4) " this is piss-poor controlling"!

From an Engineering point of view, you should remember that a pilot is simply a tool used as a guide before you use the correct and proper item :cool:

Heard one pilot call another a d1ckhead whilst doing Gatwick approach a few years ago.

Often wondered what warranted it :confused:

Vertical Hold has just witnessed his last ever Brent - Battersea.......:8

ANYWAY

Recently heard (from a DLH pilot) when "forgotten" MikeRomeo style when downwind (but for 10 at LCY) - and having been given avoiding action against a LHR deaprture (!!!!) replied
"Oh well - sh1t happenz!" (Bet he had never flown at 1800ft over Hounslow northbound before)

Bugger!
 

:oh:A long time ago a lady twr controller asked a pilot on final approach to reduce to minimum clean. After observing he was being caught up on approach she stormed in...G**** "I told you to reduce to minimum clean! what is your indicated airspeed!!"... "It's nothing mam" came the reply "we're a helicopter-we're in the hover!!!"
It all went very quiet as we bit our lips!

I hope that something like that is not considered an insult, all the time. A few weeks ago I was somewhere near DET, VFR from Blackbushe to Rotterdam via DVR KOK, when London Info asked me my ETA for the FIR boundary. I did not have that number calculated, yet, so I told London to standby.

I was not in a C150 at that time, but if that's considered an insult, I humbly apologise.

Bugger 2!
 

:oh:And...the very same lady held an aircraft on the airfield as his stand was blocked. After 20 mins the pilot politely enquired as to what was blocking his stand as he was in full view of it and could see nothing. She berated him extensively advising him that Spanair***** was on his stand. Slightly sheepish the chap piped up..."Mam...that's our outbound plan youre looking at!"
It appeared he was blocking himself.

Best pilot put-down. Preston Centre, FIR desk (East). Time - late evening. The "Scottish Flyer" northbound out of Castle Donnington for Leeds Bradford, a VC8 reg. G-APNE. Usual call was "Scottish Flyer airborne 2,000ft northbound". On this evening (lady controller on duty with yours truly a sprog cadet u/t) the call was "Preston, Knickers Elastic airborne northbound". Quick as a flash the reply came back "Roger, Kilo Echo". Oh so subtle but deadly.

Again-Preston Centre. Traffic climbing northbound with a Us pilot en route to the US with traffic opposite direction 1000 above right on his nose . All slightly south of EGCC. "sir if we dont get climb in the next ten miles we aint gonna make our level restriction". Acid witted ATCO-"Sir ...if you DO get climd within the next ten miles...you aint gonna make manchester!" Silence ensued as the shadow passed overhead.

Bulldog crossing Finningley MATZ north to south at 2000'. Vulcan crossing Finningley MATZ south to north at 2500'. Both aircraft routing via the overhead.
Controller to Bulldog pilot: "You may see traffic, 12 o'clock, 2 miles, reciprocal, 500' above."
Bulldog pilot: "I can see *uck-all else!"

Well I had a clearance the other day "Descend FL 80 to be FL90 or below by 10 miles before XXXX" - for some reason I read this back as "Descend FL70 to be FL80 or below 10 miles before XXXX" - ATC retorted "ALL WRONG - Descend etc...." It was quite busy at the time but on reflection I was almost tempted to say "Well I got the callsign right didnt I ?!"