Here's today's hardcore one: pl.rec.lotnictwo (i.e. pl.rec.aviation) usenet group, a post written by Lot Polish Airlines B737 pilot in a thread about ATC entry exams. Here's the link for those who know Polish:
http://groups.google.com/group/pl.re...e?dmode=source
And for those who don't here's the translation:

"I have a general question: could ATC subjects disapear from this forum?
This is "aviation" forum, intended for aviation enthusiasts and pilots and what controllers have been doing recently doesn't qualify them to those (that's why they should leave).
What they've been doing recently looks like an Italian strike and also this mess on the ground. LOT is to blame but that's not true.
Years ago when I had Atari I played a simple game ATC Control. As an experienced pilot I mangaged to play with 20 a/c and 2NM separations (there even was Warsaw on PC version). People, that was 15 years ago and what our controllers are doing is a complete disaster. You should be learning and learning. Compared to controllers for LGW, LHR or CDG you deserve (sorry) 20% of their salary (this is your level of abilities or pseudocompetence). Go away from this forum.
I've never been so pissed but today a controller told me to keep approach speed at 55NM. That cost LOT about a ton of fuel. Does this asshole realize that?
You should be learning and learnig but first of all: flying. A controller without knowledge of flying is merely an excavator operator so you should go to kolkhoz".


Nice one, huh?
PS I corrected all the language mistakes he made so you could understand easier.

I think EVERY pilot should spend a few hours sitting next to a controller on a busy day.
Recently I spent 1.5 hours on Brize Norton tower and now my respect for controllers is even bigger. Flying is much easier...

Pozdrawiam kolegę z drugiej strony radia

MAHABA and Lock;n;load
That is the same "Lady" ATCO who had a "Groundprox" on the Southern taxiway....:E
watp,iktch

Ahhh chiglet, I remember the orbiting 747's of her doing, well :ok:

Aha, the Stansted Stabber! :eek:

Annoyed
 

I joint via the downwind in my 172 for the runway and it has a parallel grass vector to the seal. Tower asked me if I wanted the seal or grass. After saying the seal to them all I heard was a long sigh over the radio lol. Then I was told cleared to land. It wasn't like there was other traffic but yeah, a nice long sigh...

Not an insult and it only works in the southern US but kinda cute every time…
all of which in a Gomer Pyle USMC accent of course…

"Man in plane to man in tower – give me the word and I give it the power"

Several years ago at either Heathrow or Gatwick (not sure which one), there was a fairly large queue of aircraft waiting to get off. All of a sudden someone transmitted over the airwaves "god I'm F,.;~#g bored" the famale controler who by now was getting a bit stressed screamed down the mic "last caller identify yourself" to which the reply came "I said I was F,.;~#g bored not F,.;'~#g stupid".

As well as pilots should learn BASICS of ATC. 95% of them has no knowledge of what's going on in operations room.
I spend more time in a plane's cockpit a year than most pilots in operations room during their career.
For over 10 years of my work in ATC I've seen maybe 5 pilots upstairs. 3 of them were interested in view from the tower, 1 had some complaints, 1 was part time ATCO, part time airline pilot.
4 of them were asking no questions about the airspace and rules of the job, guess which ones?

As for the USAF plane: do you really believe that ALL controllers should know ALL aircraft performance up to one knot?
What's wrong with 255kt BTW? I am reducing to much smaller numbers every day ;)

At FL350 she should have been using mach numbers anyway and if she was your trainee are you not responsible for teaching her better? ;)

I don't fly but i know enough about aircraft performance to be able to do my job but i had to be taught by my instructors. Knowledge is taught as well as learnt.

Very recently diverted in the middle of the night into a well known midlands airport for fuel. Only me and the ATCO awake says the man "Do you need a handling agent or can you self handle?"

Me "Keep the costs down, I'll self handle."

ATCO "I've heard you pilots are good at self handling!"

Me too tired to think of a suitable response. Whoever you were you made my night. Revenge will however be mine:E

Toronto, last Christmas
 

This one might score high amongst "worst ever pilot insults":

Hadn't been there when it happened, but this one really caused some ripples:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbTcAmw3fqY

Doesn't it suck when your mic gets stuck?

a.

Carnage Matey! wrote
"You're the second best ATC in the world......."

I thought the full story was that a retiring United captain on his last trip after takeoff from Sydney said that. Sydney sounding very chuffed said " whose the first?"
" The rest of the world " :}