Latest VHF com piss-offs!
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: On a foreign shore trying a new wine diet. So far, I've lost 3days!
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Many years ago at an airfield somewhere in the "Middle East" there was a "Hicks-from-the-Sticks" Freighter who called:
"Four burnin' an' turnin' ready for the push"
To which a BA captain taxying behind replied:
"Actually, Old Bean, you've got five burnin' an' turnin', as you so quaintly put it. Your APU is on fire"
You gotta love them ol' Southern country boys.
"Four burnin' an' turnin' ready for the push"
To which a BA captain taxying behind replied:
"Actually, Old Bean, you've got five burnin' an' turnin', as you so quaintly put it. Your APU is on fire"
You gotta love them ol' Southern country boys.
Join Date: May 2011
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It always amazes me that in these stories there is always a BA Captain to hand when a slack jawed American needs to be put in their place.
The country boys do provide some entertainment though.
"N123AB no speed restriction, climb FL100"
"Okay let the horses loose and up to the ton, 123 ayy bee"
The country boys do provide some entertainment though.
"N123AB no speed restriction, climb FL100"
"Okay let the horses loose and up to the ton, 123 ayy bee"
Join Date: Jan 2001
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Ready doesn't always seem to mean ready to some. Ask the pilot "report ready", back comes the reply "ready". Instructed to line up after the landing and the aircraft lines up at the correct time. Good stuff, plan A seems to be working. Landed aircraft vacates so aircraft cleared for take off. "Oh sorry the cabins not ready yet". The next transmission is to tell the inbound at 3 miles to go around. WHY LINE UP IF NOT READY? When questioned pilots reply that we are ready and we thought the cabin would be ready by the time we were cleared for take off.
Mind you I keep saying to pilots "taxy forward". As if they could or would taxy backwards in normal operations.
Mind you I keep saying to pilots "taxy forward". As if they could or would taxy backwards in normal operations.
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Or the bunch of knobbers that I hear most days checking in after departure from London Stansted "xxx123 with you HokeyCokey 5A departure passing 3 thousand for x thousand WITH IDENT" .... Please stop it, it's only valid for identification when it's been requested.
Join Date: Jan 2005
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It's all a bit of a laugh on the flightdeck to extract the urine out of our non standard peers. However the way some of you go on about it is quite entertaining. Aviate, Navigate, Communicate. There's a reason why communicate is last. Hopefully all the non standard guys are better at the first two and laughing at biggles who level busts, incurs runways or has a CFIT every time they land, but thankfully performs the radio to the required ICAO phraseology standards
Join Date: Jul 2005
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What annoys me even more than most of these non-standard phrases is the number of pilots who check in on busy frequencies without so much as a nano-second's worth of waiting and listening before transmitting. Recently, I've had a pile of pretty important comms interrupted by people who just can't wait to have a chat with me. Please; wait five seconds after a freq change before transmitting.
Amazing how more flight hours are flown in N America than the rest of world combined, yet we somehow make it work without resorting to the anal radio pedantry that seems to be a requirement to exercise the privileges of a CAA ATPL license; and do it with the lowest accident rate of any jurisdiction. 
Join Date: Oct 2006
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I hate the "fully ready" stuff...
But when a pilot reports ready for push-back and you see bridge still connected, or cargo door opened, and when there's not enough time for sarcasm... I must admit "call me back fully ready" is tempting
or
"ABC 123 cleared for t/o"
"Cleared for t/o ABC123"
2 seconds later
"rolling ABC123"
ah damn... that's the way you do it
But when a pilot reports ready for push-back and you see bridge still connected, or cargo door opened, and when there's not enough time for sarcasm... I must admit "call me back fully ready" is tempting
or
"ABC 123 cleared for t/o"
"Cleared for t/o ABC123"
2 seconds later
"rolling ABC123"
ah damn... that's the way you do it
Join Date: Jul 2002
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Que?
Always thought that 'Ready upon reaching' was bona fide, a means to let ATC know that on reaching the hold there'd be no delay from our side, hence making it easier for him to plan his landing/departure sequence. Happy to be educated..?
On an aside: some places in the world anything other than the severely non-standard 'Charlie-charlie' will have the controller mystified
Always thought that 'Ready upon reaching' was bona fide, a means to let ATC know that on reaching the hold there'd be no delay from our side, hence making it easier for him to plan his landing/departure sequence. Happy to be educated..?
On an aside: some places in the world anything other than the severely non-standard 'Charlie-charlie' will have the controller mystified
Join Date: Jun 2004
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Thing is PT6A I've never seen the phrase "fully ready" in any ICAO document or
AIP - if it were gazetted as such we'd all be saying it. As HT said earlier you're
AIP - if it were gazetted as such we'd all be saying it. As HT said earlier you're
My personal peeve is the dicks who use 121.5 as their own little chat channel...but normally a German is nearby to sort them out....
I think we should add to this...who has heard the best PA on an active frequency? and what lies and useless info did it contain, and did anyone offer congratulations?
Last edited by haughtney1; 11th Feb 2013 at 10:18.
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Originally Posted by haughtney1
and what lies ..... did it contain
Join Date: Dec 2004
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The best PA I got was from a BA pilot approaching STU who started a good 2 minute waffle about the weather in Heathrow, how long they could expect to hold, a few interesting facts about Wales and then some more waffle.
It was almost interesting, but it took me a long time to sort out the mess that 2 minutes of blocked frequency caused.
I did respond by telling him it was a lovely PA and that I hoped he could do it just as well for the passengers when he tried again in a minute.
It was almost interesting, but it took me a long time to sort out the mess that 2 minutes of blocked frequency caused.
I did respond by telling him it was a lovely PA and that I hoped he could do it just as well for the passengers when he tried again in a minute.