View Full Version : NakedAir: The Ultimate "No Frills" Airline

24th May 2003, 02:59
Hmmm....well, if the flight crew decides to romp around in the buff like the passengers, think of the money saved on uniform cleaning expenses!!


From USA TODAY May 06, 2003


"We're about to land ... so please get dressed"

Wading through the Sunday papers, catching up on the news, I came across a little story from last week that had somehow escaped me. Maybe it was the headline that caught my eye this time around: "But where do they pin their wings?"

It seems two pilots for Southwest Airlines were fired because they were caught flying their 737 without uniforms on. Actually, they didn't have anything on at all.

It all has to do with spilled coffee and flight attendants and who knows what else. Whether they were singing Moon Over Miami at the time wasn't very clear, either. There are many unanswered questions here.

The incident occurred a while ago, but after an investigation that looked at all the facts, bare as they were, Southwest decided it best to let the pilots go and announced their departure last week. The pilots are appealing.

Odd as it may seem, I've never thought much about what pilots don't wear when I'm on a plane. To be honest, I'm more bothered that you can fly from Los Angeles to New York these days and get nothing more than a bag of pretzels to eat. Now there's a crime.

In fact, you have to give the pilots some credit. They were ahead of the trend.

Two months ago, one of my editors told me of the first all-nude commercial flight, which took off this week. We both laughed a Lily Tomlin laugh, and then she told me she wanted me to be on the flight and file a story. Stunned, I said I had nothing to wear to such an event. Perfect, she replied. I then negotiated a no-photo policy with her.

The flight was from Miami to Cancun, and once the plane had reached that "comfortable cruising altitude," the passengers were allowed to take off not only their seat belts, but all their clothing as well. To make this inaugural flight even more appealing, those on board were given a complimentary towel to sit on "historic" pieces of cloth we can only assume will start showing up on eBay any day now.

There were rules, of course. Mexican authorities, for instance, did not particularly want to see a gaggle of American tourists stroll down the ramp in Cancun sporting nothing but sombreros, so the crowd was told it had to dress before landing.

But it was not to be for me. A few weeks ago, the tour operators of "Naked-Air" notified me I was no longer invited. Seems those who had signed up decided they didn't want a novice nudist with pad and pencil following them around.

Just as well. I always get so cold on planes.

About 20 years ago, I had a friend who had a wonderfully precocious child who traveled through the adult world amusing everyone he met. He had only one little idiosyncrasy: He didn't like wearing clothes very much.

There you'd be at, say, a picnic, and the next thing you knew, he'd be standing out there in the front lawn in all his glory.

The family moved away shortly after he turned 6, and I've since lost track of them. But I've always wondered what became of that boy.

An unemployed Southwest pilot, perhaps?


24th May 2003, 03:26
I thought it was a new TSA security procedure to check for offensive weapons!!!

Hmmm....what one person might consider an "offensive weapon," another person may look upon it as "weapon envy"!


24th May 2003, 03:54

And of course, depending upon age, the "offensive weapon" might be classified as a "dead weapon".......

24th May 2003, 03:58
And of course, depending upon age, the "offensive weapon" might be classified as a "dead weapon".......

Reminds me of the old codger that was charged with "petty rape," but they had to drop the charges against him because the evidence wouldn't stand up in court....