Guys, gimme a sample of your PA

[Hachiouji-shi]

Please tell me what you say, giving an example

cheers mate.

[Jetdriver]

Is it that anything like DNA ?

[Maxrev]

In the plastic tube Sir, it's the first door on the right, end of the corridor....

It might help if you were a little more specific...

You don't do a PA for no reason, 'hello ladies and gentlemen, we're at our cruising altitude of 31,000 feet and I know you're trying to sleep but I'm a bit bored up here and my wife just doesn't understand me...It all started when I came home and saw the milkman's cart on the driveway...'

Depends what's happening, could be turb, bad WX ahead, fasten belts etc, route info, pretty things to look out the window for, help with 5 across on the Times Crossword....

[M.Mouse]

Not mine but read that an excellent PA for 30W was 'Halfway'.

[Captain Airclues]

I never do a PA because I know that nobody will be listening.

Airclues

[Smoketrails]

The trick about PAs is to make them interesting and you will get the attention of the punters. I have on occasions been impressed with PAs both from pilots and F/As. Unfortunately, not many have that special gift to make such PAs. This is by no means criticism since that is not what you're there for. A few tips:

If you are going to introduce yourself and the crew then don't rush and/or mumble your and their names.

Don't give the weather at destination before departure as it will invariably have changed by the time you get there!

Make sure that PAs can be heard on your a/c (you'd be surprised how often the pax can't hear what you are saying because of poor equipment.

[Anthony Carn]

I always try to include -- "The landing will be really scary ! "

Best to be honest. :ok:

[Notso Fantastic]

Why is a non pilot asking for PA samples? Is it something I can produce with a little bottle on my own in a toilet? Do you have ears? Try listening next time you fly.

[Georgeablelovehowindia]

Keep it straight, keep it simple and don't try to be amusing. Once upon a time there was freedom in such matters, but I find increasingly there are passengers who are prepared to write in and complain: 'The pilot said ...' (My airline was once involved in out of court settlements totalling close to £100,000, yes that's One Hundred Thousand Hundred Pounds, for the 'distress' caused by a pa from the flight deck.)

Small wonder that when I positioned as passenger on a well-known and respected airline, on an eight hour flight, the sole announcement from the flight deck, pre-start, was: 'Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain. (Note, no name mentioned.) Welcome aboard (.......) flight to (........) Information on our flight today is the moving map display, which you will find on channel 9 of your IFE located in the armrest of your seat. I hope you enjoy your flight with us and I leave you in the capable hands of our cabin crew.' How sad, but I could see the point.

Don't say: 'Afraid.' (As in: 'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid that...) Some wassock will write in and say: 'The pilot said he was afraid.' Yes, honestly. Of course you will find yourself saying this constantly now. Join the club ...

Yep, there's a lot to be said for: 'Half-Way!' (Without prejudice.) :rolleyes:

[Nightrider]

"Sit down, buckle up, shut up"....found this very simple and most often appropriate...:uhoh:

[Slim20]

A Carn

I agree. "Sit back relax and enjoy the flight - because you sure won't enjoy the landing"

[Basil]

Airclues,
Well the boxes said they were very disappointed :{
and you missed parade last night! :*

[Lump Jockey]

Georgeablelovehowindia: How much?! One hundred thousand hundred pounds...alrighty then!!!
Sorry!
I like and enjoy the PAs when I'm onboard flights. Think they're, for the most part, informative, entertaining and thorough. If, like one of you said, that not many have that special gift for it, then don't you think you should try and make it sound good, if not for yourself, then for the pax that DO listen, and DO enjoy them! I'm all for it! I have even sent pilots questions on flights before, that's how sad I am! Anyway......
LJ.

[Georgeablelovehowindia]

Blimey! What was I on the other night? (Must have some more of that tonight.)
Yes, the thick end of one hundred thousand quid, chiefly to one pernicious person, all due to a 'non-pc' remark made in all innocence.

[Captain Airclues]

Basil

Sorry that I couldn't make it but I was flying 112,624kgs of assorted cargo out of Hong Kong at the time. At least the pallets don't complain about my landings.

Airclues

[Basil]

Airclues,
See you next Thursday if I get back from LGW in time - (was about to shorthand that until realising nanny would've starred it out :O )

G-ALHI,
Would the non-PC remark have referred perchance to an, er, stack of timber? :ooh:

[Hippy]

I believe this is a good one for FAs who don't require career progression.

After flight from MPA:
"Welcome to Brize Norton, we thank you for flying RAFAIR, and to all the ladies down the back - What's it like to be ugly again?"

[Mister Geezer]

Sadly you don't get much variety nowadays. Especially on BA since the skipper always wants you to put down the Daily Telegraph to look at the safety demo and to keep your seat belts fastened during the cruise. Yawn.... :oh:

[Mike Blackburn]

I guess that one has to be careful about what one says. I remember an incident where an Air Namibia captain, after landing in Windhoek, announced something along the following lines...
'We will soon be arriving at Windhoek airport. Please set your watches back 20 years. Thank you for flying Air Namibia.'

As I recall, he was shown the door. Some people can't take a joke, can they?