View Full Version : Whats the most outrageous thing you've done with an aeroplane?
The Inspector
28th Dec 2002, 22:27
Just reading the Breakfast Patrols thread made me wonder what is the most outrageous use an aeroplane has been put to?
As an 'anonymous' forum, there's no need to be shy folks, tell us all how naughty you have been with an aeroplane.....
No fibs, just the truth...
Chuck Ellsworth
28th Dec 2002, 23:15
Why?
What would that do for flying safety?
Cat Driver:
stillin1
29th Dec 2002, 06:54
Considered going flying in one without adequate preperation. Now that was outrageous & stupid.
Hopefully you will get few replies, since the behaviour you seem to be trying to illicit admissions to has a tendency to weed these fools out of the gene pool.
Hairyplane
29th Dec 2002, 08:43
Hi Inspector!
Come on - whilst this is an anonymous forum it probably doesn't take much working out who is involved - plenty of clues in the locations, postings etc. Sufficient for the CAA - who certainly do trawl these forums - to 'mark your card'.
I suppose one could post in the vein of 'it wasn't me but guess what somebody I know did'.
I am sure we will see plenty of funnies as well as some scares.
This could be a very interesting thread!
When I was a young cop in Swanley of all places - back in 1973 - I dealt with a minor road accident. The driver of one of the vehicles involved was a bloke by the name of - not sure of the spelling - Mike Devyea.
Anyway - he was a flying junkie, I was a budding but broke junkie who could just about afford some balsa wood for a free-flight model (I learned to fly eventually in 1975).
He took me flying in a C150 out of Biggin Hill - I think the club was The South London Aero Club(?).
He was a charismatic bloke - a flying junkie in every sense.
There was no further contact after that .
Can anybody tell me where he is now? I would love to return the gesture.
Anyway - the next thing I saw was a skit in the national paper about him. He actually decided to fly under the London Bridges to draw his flying junkie habit to the CAA pleading with them to shred his licence!
This I am sure they duly did.
In the text, from memory because I regret losing the cutting in one of many moves, he describes how he had hocked everything to fly and had to sell his textbooks and other flying stuff just to pay for the 'bridges' flight.
Mike - if you are out there please get in touch!
On a final note - you can actually order a neat pair of pewter 5280ft wings from at least one of the pilot supplies shops so presumably there is sufficient demand from 'qualified' and 'anticipated' recipients of this 'Mile High Club' badge??
Now this has got nothing to do with my excellent autopilot, my ability to keep a good lookout despite distraction and the fact that my seats do go back quite a way...
So - lets see some more ' I know a bloke who....' stories!!
HP
I once organised a stripper for an instructor mate of mine. She (brassy, elderly and clearly au fait with the seedier side of life) posed as a trial lesson. He (youthful and awash in raging hormones) fell for it hook, line and sinker. He didn't even realise when he saw virtually all of the flying club staff sat out in the noonday sun awaiting his departure.
Apparently she grabbed him 'somewhere sensitive' shortly after take off - Having then climbed to a suitable altitude and clearly without any discernable standards he bravely tried to trim the rather twisted 152 slightly nose down. This was to counteract the anticipated aft CofG position. From that point on his recollection of the event was hazy.
We saw the aircraft join the circuit (after an expletive, directed at the assembled masses, was uttered over the R/T). It flew a decidedly abbreviated approach followed by an excellent landing. On the parking spot a bedraggled, lipstick smeared and partially disrobed instructor fell from the door. From the other appeared his date - reapplying her makeup and straightening her far-to-short-far-to-tight skirt. Prepaid, she made off leaving us with only an enigmatic smile.
It was difficult to work out whether he'd really enjoyed it or found it all rather stressful. I guess you'd have to ask him if it was particularly outrageous
Shaggy Sheep Driver
29th Dec 2002, 15:46
Yesterday I took off in a 737-400 from Liverpool's 09 and flew under the Runcorn bridge on climb-out.
Then, with all the excess speed (I used full power for take off and left it all on) I pitched up, waited a couple of seconds, then barrell-rolled over Cheshire, cut the power, dropped the gear and flaps, and did a glide approach onto 06R at Manch.
Good job FS2000 doesn't mind lots of excess speed and 'G' ;~)
SSD
Hairyplane
29th Dec 2002, 16:27
Thanks for the EMails from those who kindly searched the Electoral Register without success..
Funnily enough, I subsequently remembered after posting that I had my old cop pocket books for that period.
His name was Michael Brian Devyea, with an address in Chislehurst. I flew with him in July '73.
Maybe a journo reading this thread has the ability to access the story - it was a big news story at the time.
Maybe it was recorded in Pilot at the time too. I can't quite remember how many years it was after I flew with him but maybe 1-3 so, between 73 and 76 best guess.
Keep these postings coming - love the grottagram 'student' story!
HP
sharpshot
31st Dec 2002, 12:10
How about selecting the "gear down" after the plane had landed.
Work that one out!
:p :confused: :D
BEagle
31st Dec 2002, 13:24
1. Went supersonic in an F4 chasing someone across Jockistan. Unfortunately it was at 'about' 250ft.....
2. The days of flying Civil Defence support flights in the Bulldog and having to control the route of a target vehicle by non-RT techniques. It stopped in a village.....
3. Checked out a pub car park to see if a mate had turned up. From a VC10......
4. Authorised sunset flypast at 300ft msd having forgotten to reset QFE - at an aerodrome 250 ft a.m.s.l. But the punters loved it...that was in a VC10 as well!
A very long time ago I did my PPL at a certain flying club in South Yorkshire, now defunct. We ( a flying scholarship course) lived on site, so there was lots of socialising. The club receptionist was totally charming, and very extrovert.
The story we were fed, was that after a particular fling with a club member, she became pregnant. The resourceful culprit took her up to 10k', did a 4 turn spin one way, followed by 4 turns the other way. She went green, and the pregnancy was no more. Not nice.
Final 3 Greens
2nd Jan 2003, 16:07
Owned an aeroplane and didn't fly it for three months.
Hairyplane
2nd Jan 2003, 16:33
I remember sunbathing at Rochester in the 1970's in just my shorts and sunglasses - scorching day - and being offered a go in G-ASTA, a 1959 Turdbulent (it was a right dog then but happily saw it at a later PFA Rally in splendid condition).
Without further ado I flew to Headcorn, climbed out of this titchy little plane (I am a big bloke) amongst the flying suited. badged- up brigade and realised that I had been deafened by the blattering of the exhausts.
I went off to the toilet - all I could hear was ringing - and looked a right silly sight in the mirror - hair (I used to have some then...) blasted back and polka-dotted with bugs all over the upper bod. A lot of me had been out in the slipstream!
I then walked back out, toilet paper sticking out of my ears and set off back.
It was really good fun - I remember leaning backwards and forwards on the seat to climb and descend and sticking my arms out a la pedal-bike signalling to turn.
It was a bit breezy too so I climbed up to 4000ft, throttled back and flew all the way across Maidstone again only this time Idid it backwards!
I am a lot more sensible now - honest!
HP
QDMQDMQDM
2nd Jan 2003, 21:34
You know I was asking about teaching myself formation flying the other day? Well, I've been doing some research and this is apparently lesson two from 'Formation Flying for Dummies'. I reckon since I've mastered straight and level and can bodge a crossunder that this is the next step, just before rate 1 turns:
http://www.supercub.org/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=Supercubs&id=aso
QDM
Hairyplane
2nd Jan 2003, 23:14
Flying across the Channel in my Grob 109b - I could only look in admiraton at my new girlfriend sitting there with her long flowing hair, Wayfarers, crop-top and all the other bitz and pieces.
What is it with my bladder?
Suddenly caught bustingly short and with no prospect of relief for another hour or so I found a tatty barf bag in the pocket.
Why did I glug the whole carton of apple-juice just before we set off?
'Avert your gaze my dear and hold this' (the stick! the stick!)
THere I was, filling up this paper bag to the brim whilst doing some horrible contortions in order to achieve it, whilst all the time she was doing a reasonable job of the straight and level bit whilst peering through the cloud of steam out of the stbd. window .
Whew!
I folded the bag, intending to place it on the floor when, horror of horrors, it started to leak quite badly. It really was creased, old and - well - should have been used long before.
Nothing for it - out of the window it had to go.
I slid the CV panel open, slowed the thing up and, base first, pushed the bag through the window.
Whoooooosh!
It was as if somebody had put a high-pressure house through the panel and blasted my girlfriend.
She was absolutely drenched - the cockpit was a mess - we groped around for a towel in a bag behind.
I will always remember her licking her lips with great composure saying - 'I can definately taste the apple-juice.....'
HP
....I have another story........
squawking 7700
3rd Jan 2003, 07:56
How about this then?
A couple of years ago, me and a mate decided to have a go at flying a glider into the quarry at the end of the runway, to be well below the top of the quarry wall before pulling up and landing back on the runway.
So we had a good look at it on foot to check for obstructions,
checked with the duty instructor, who surprisingly said yes!
We took an aerotow for a few aerobatics first to get limbered up, then it was a VNE dive over the village and into the quarry skimming the yellow oilseed rape and looking at the quarry wall getting closer and closer..........before pulling up, popping the brakes and absolutely pissing ourselves with laughter.
You can definitely get away with more hooliganism in a glider!
Squawking 7700
redsnail
4th Jan 2003, 21:08
Flown a plane naked.
Reddo
I think we need photographic proof of that one!
Skua:D
javelin
5th Jan 2003, 23:25
Brakes off to 43,000 feet in 7 minutes 30 seconds in a 767 - totally legal, all derates were in, clearance given, we just sat there and gasped in amazement !
Previously................
Spinning a Cessna 206 when the **** in the back told me to take it round again when it was only him getting out after a student load.
Watching my mate get more and more uncomfortable on a night cross country when he was busting for a
pish and we couldn't figure a way of getting the pish out of the DV window - no you can't use a rolled up map, the angles are all wrong - God how I laughed - he is a Captain on 757's now :D
Edit comment - why is **** OK and pizz (wrong spelling but you get the drift not)
Volume
6th Jan 2003, 06:17
:D You can definitely get away with more hooliganism in a glider!
It was a tradition in my gliding club to visit some of our old members birthday celebration by glider. He lived in the very last house of the city, with a large and even field right behind his house. As this place was about 20 miles of our airfield, we used to tow the glider to the place, do a low flypast (with the glider of course) and then landed there, just to have the first beer delivered directly to the cockpit. Other club members took the trailer and join at the celebration.
One year the weather was not too good, low scattered cluds, so we went over the top for the tow. As the glider was too high after releasing the rope, it took a few minutes to sink to an altitude which results in VNE for a spectacular low and fast flyby.
We took the chance to perform two low approaches with the towplane, which leads to a neigbour calling the police.
They arrived just in the same moment, the glider landed, but could not do anything about it, because this it is totally legal to land a glider on a field, and they were too late to watch the flyby.
Unfortunately we haven´t seen the policecar, and did another low approach with the towplane after the glider had landed, holly s***, we were accused for this one !
So learn the lesson : Hooliganism is recommended in gliders only !
ironduck
20th Jan 2003, 19:02
Being cleared VFR across Dubai harbour entrance at 100ft in a VC10 (VF) caused a bit of envy amongst the crews on the frequency. This was back in '77 on a training flight from Ras al Khaimah to AUH
Missing Manston Runway. Have you seen how wide Manston is?
Very soon after getting my license, I flew to Manston on a very blowy day. Those who know Manston will appreciate that with the airfield stuck in the NE corner of Kent, you can get sea breezes coming from the North and/or the East. I was on finals on the western end of the runway – can’t remember the number, in a poxy C150, into a pretty fierce North Easterly. Just before landing, I kicked out the crab, and then the wind totally changed direction, and I got blasted by a gust from the North. The gust picked up the plane and deposited it just South of the runway.
The saving grace was that there is a bit of a camber at Manston, and I had landed right on the numbers (well, just South of the numbers), and I figured that the control tower probably couldn’t see me. So I taxied back onto the runway and acted as nothing had happened.
The shame of it all!
TheKentishFledgling
21st Jan 2003, 19:38
The saving grace was that there is a bit of a camber at Manston, and I had landed right on the numbers (well, just South of the numbers), and I figured that the control tower probably couldn’t see me. So I taxied back onto the runway and acted as nothing had happened.
I take it they didn't say anything?
tKF
Not a dicky bird, and I am sure they would have if they had seen me.
khorne
22nd Jan 2003, 00:55
Flying down a Fiord in Greenland at progressively lower and lower heights with severe icing above and the return airport below minimums just because we couldn't face another night in the god aweful hotel eating whale meat. The whale meat actually started to become appealing after we went into a cloud with mountains either side. Never, ever again.
Flash0710
22nd Jan 2003, 07:25
Hiring a plane from cabair
Doe's it get more outrageous?
What? Noone's mentioned that man M. Kirk.
Flying that Cub to Oz has to be a pretty outrageous achievement, and his previous outrageous 'achievements' are probably best not described here!