Dear Santa

[On the beach]

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been a really good controller this year. I've kept all my planes apart, well, except for those two the other day, but it's okay because nobody saw that.

I've given every pilot the level they wanted, except for that *** *** A340 pilot who always plans F410 (dream on!).

I haven't sworn at any pilot (apart from that pric.. sorry pilot who insists on calling for pushback without a tug).

I've also learned that BA has more than one plane. Because the other day not only did I have "THE Speedbird" on frequency, I also had "THE OTHER Speedbird" too; what excitement!

Anyway what I want for Xmas is:

1. A recruitment section that recruits trainees who know what a plane is.
2. Trainees that can tell the difference between a B747 and a C172.
3. Supervisors who realise that supervising is not "a spectator sport".
4. Pilots whose reply to every instruction is not "Was that for us?"
5. Engineers that understand that ergonomics also includes the front of my console, not just the back bit.
5. Pilots who, when cleared to their planned level of F390 always say "We're too heavy" but when given the alternative of F240 somehow miraculously manage to struggle up to F390.

I'm sure there are some that I have forgotten but I expect all those nice people at pprune will add a few more.

Thank you in anticipation, Happy Holly and a Merry Berry to all the stuttering, wrinklies at pprune.

On the Beach

P.S. Could you give all those A340 pilots a couple of extra engines so that they feel as though they are flying a real plane!

[Bombay Bad Boy]

Santa....

I'm not sure Ive been so good this year, here is my confession:

a) I gave an avoiding action turn just to see if it was possible for a moody BAL crew to turn when I damn well want them to.

b) I made the SMF flash more than once a shift (the acceptable level for my watch).

c) I put a certain airline to the bottom of my priority list because they never let me take an earlier flight home, considering the flight earlier was half empty ! or was it half full, i cant remember!

d) Ive been kind to German crews for no reason.

e) I haven't taken my rostered days sick this year !

I'm not sure if that qualifies me for promotion Santa, but if thats too stiffer punishment maybe you'll take pity on me and offer me more useless NATS shares.

Mr Fiennes, BBB

[Loki]

If you live in the South of England, it may be pointless writing to Santa this year as both North Sea and Clacton sectors may be shut on the night of 24th December owing to staff shortages. He could still get down through Lakes I suppose but he`s bound to be delayed.

[Barnaby the Bear]

Dear Santa,

All our Controllers have been good this year. Please can we have a new Control tower.
Thats all!.............for now

BTB

[HEATHROW DIRECTOR]

<<I've also learned that BA has more than one plane. >>

Ahhaaa... but unfortunately the crews are not aware of this fact!!

[Lon More]

CLN & N.Sea closed on 24th

Newspaper headlines on 27th, or whenever the winos, sorry journos, come back, "Continent Isolated!"

:D

[Spitoon]

BBB

What other sorts of BAL crews have you come across?

[Whispering Giant]

Dear Santa..............

I have been really really nice to the boys and girls in ATC and the CFMU this year,helping them out with re-routes to help free up there sector's when they need it for the big boy's to come through.
So this christmas i would like :-

1) a day of NO atc slot's due to lack of staff.

2) NO closure of sector's due to the above and capacity..

3) a day of NO level capping scenarios.

4) a day of NO zero flow rates through the sector's.

well santa i dont know if you will be able to grant this request - i expect my dream will only come true on one day and that's Christmas day - which is a real ****** as we arnt operating christmas day !!!!! oh well here's to dreaming..........

Happy christmas and all the best to you guy's in ATC - have a good one.