Firm grasp of the non-essentials

[Dropp the Pilot]

"The reporter stated that taxi speed had been permitted to reach 31 knots"

It must be time to retire. Can you really stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a colleague capable of putting that in print?

Oy

[CAYNINE]

There are those amongst us that "see dead people":mad:

[Curry Goat]

Ah yes....the 31kts gave me my morning chuckle, along withe the 2 "momentarily exceeding 5000fpm" ones. Keep 'em coming boys, looking forward to next weeks entertainment.

[Old King Coal]

It's like when you get a call from 'Safety' and they ask why you were doing +30/40/50/60 knots (<-- insert speed of choice)... and they seem surprised when you respond that you were in the process of backtracking up a 4,000 metre runway, with ATC pushing you to get a move on (due to another aircraft on finals), and that less than a minute later you were taking off down that exact same surface at +160 kts... go figure?! :}

[thefoxandfirkin]

Old King Coal - never a finer word said. The irony of it and so true!

[Jefferson Airplane]

Agreed Harry, that ASRs = ACRs and the fear of punitive action drives our colleagues to submit such drivel.


There are however, a few ASRs each week which are beyond drivel. Last week there was one about the steak in the crew meal on the B77F which, after 20 minutes in the oven, was found to be undercooked. The reporter suggests supplying baking thermometers on the freighter so that we can determine the readiness of the meal.


An ASR?


Any wonder that management treats us with the contempt they do?

[Airmann]

Had a captain freak out because we hit 31 kts while distracted by something else. Had me help him formulate the exact wording for the ASR. a week or so later saw him filing another ASR. Probably files one every time he farts.

[LongHauling]

Actually, I quite agree with the reporter regarding the crew meal temp probe on the freighter. Great suggestion.
Ask any Boeing guy who operates on it and ask how many crew meals arrive on board still frozen. I'm not a food scientist or anything but food should be heated up to a particular core temp in order to kill bacteria. If not, then it could potentially be a safety issue. Hence the ASR.

LongH

[falconeasydriver]

Had a captain freak out because we hit 31 kts while distracted by something else. Had me help him formulate the exact wording for the ASR. a week or so later saw him filing another ASR. Probably files one every time he farts.


Were you or him taxiing? Just a thought given that if you were distracted and managed 31kts..what was the distraction? Granted the ACR's border on the ridiculous at times, but taxi speeds are a no brainer, its not like 30kts sneaks up on you.
Personally I wouldn't file an ASR for 31kts, but unless I had a brake failure I wouldn't get close to that speed unless I was on a runway...brake wear be damned.

[Plank Cap]

Here's my plan folks, and it's really simple, it's gonna work so please indulge me;

From now on nobody needs to ever file an ASR in EK unnecessarily again. For your pleasure, I have designed and will be shortly submitting to Safety and Fleet a revised format to the company VR. Both sides of the form are now blank, save for one small box on the back which has a space for a tick to be placed into this box. Beside the box is the statement "would any company department like me to file a report on today's flight for any reason whatsoever?"

No need for info on APU, single engine taxi, reverse thrust, state of mental health or speed below 5000'......

Now obviously if you do not receive an email within two working days of your flight, confirming the need to report, you have now done your bit. Transfer the liability, take back your command ladies and gents. Seize the power!

(For those a little unsure of the true intent of this suggestion, please consult dictionary definition of 'satire').