Flossing on the Flight Deck

[hikoushi]

I am just curious if this is only a couple of isolated incidents, or if this is something not uncommon to disgusting slobs in all parts of the world. Flying oceanic long-haul (6-12 hour sectors). Commonly on the way back from the bunk, or alternatively on a last restroom break, many of us do a little quick "freshening up", yes? This is good, and as it should be.

HOWEVER, have you ever had the pilot sitting next to you, commander or copilot, whip out a container of dental floss and start SHAMELESSLY going for it right there next to you in the seat? Seen pieces of unidentifiable meat fly at great velocity in all directions, impacting the upper ECAM with a splat? Perhaps they are even kind enough to preface this display with a "Hey, mind if I floss? Thanks".

No kidding. Twice so far in the last 6 months. Am I just really lucky to be American or is this level of idiocy a worldwide problem?

[Piltdown Man]

This is nothing to do with nationality.

I suppose the same repugnant git also scratches his balls, picks his nose and trims his ear hair in public! Firstly, tell him that this is unacceptable. Then write it up in the Tech. Log - "Cockpit requires cleaning and sterilising due random, half-digested food particle distribution."

This person is a pig!

[hikoushi]

The tech log idea is brilliant. I also have another idea in my back pocket (if ever I encounter this situation again and the bugger won't give it a rest). I wait till he starts getting really deep into it, past the "Point of No Return", and just call up the cabin lead and inform her that the Commandante is going to need to take an immediate "comfort break" to finish up the rather vigorous floss he has already started, and that I will subsequently need one myself to clean the resultant mystery-meat particles off of my shirt and face. Would be even better if I "accidentally" hit the "ALL" call button instead of the "FWD" one and let the whole damn crew know about it.

Will the rest of the flight be tense? Yes. Will it be worth it? Yes. Pricelessly so.

And by the way, theses are 2 incidents with 2 different people, one a captain and one a relief first officer. Hence I really am a lucky guy.

[FLCH]

Have you thought about discussing it with him person to person ?

Try talking before the flight or over a beer post flight, chances are he's not even aware he's doing it and offending others including yourself.

If you have a union try professional standards they are equipped to deal with this kind of stuff, if not then think about a talk to the chief pilot after you've tried the other two chioces.

Playing passive aggressive games will do nothing but compromise any communication and flight safety between you two, and he won't know why you acted the way you propose, he at least deserves that.

It might be good for a laugh but ultimately won't solve the problem.

[Mach E Avelli]

It is always difficult to broach stuff like this in a social environment, such as over a few beers. Better to attempt to stop it as the offence occurs with a polite "do you mind not doing that here?". If that fails, the tech log entry - on hygiene grounds of course - would be a great idea.

In my long career I only ever flew with two true pigs, both Captains more senior to me (though I was also a Captain, so it helped in my approach to the problem). They were really chronic farters. Now, whether they really had something wrong with their innards, or just made poor dietary choices I dunno. But both these blokes thought it was hilarious to drop their guts on the flight deck (and anywhere else for that matter). We all accept an occasional need to break wind, especially at altitude, but these guys made no effort to at least go to the toilet and never apologised, just laughed at the discomfort they caused others.

The softly-softly approach only made them more inclined to this offensive schoolboy behaviour. So, after one polite request then one warning, I simply vacated the flight deck and sat out the entire sector until I was legally required to be in attendance for the descent. If they wanted a toilet break that was their problem, they could call the F/A for a bottle to pee in for all I cared. They could hardly complain about me to the Chief Pilot, but they both managed to have themselves rostered to never fly with me again. Which suited me fine, but must have been rough on some of my colleagues.