Worst FD or Jumpseat visit!

[Holdposition]

With regard to pax FD/Jumpseat visits, would be most interested in your worst examples, there must be some nightmare stories here!

[G.Khan]

If I thought that any of the many people I have invited onto the Flight Deck for any phase of the flight was now about to go public on PPRuNe then I would seriously reconsider ever allowing any such visits again, (even if I now had that choice).

On the other hand, if you want anecdotes about tech crew reponse to their visitors, well that is fair game!!

[reverserunlocked]

I fly commercially about four or fives times a year and always used to try to get on the j/s at some point in the flight, if only just to stretch the ol' legs and have a chin wag with the flight crew.

In the j/s world, a polite note to the Captain accompanied by a photocopy of a flying club airside pass when boarding almost always did the trick.

The most accomodating was a BMed crew on an A320 flight to BEY who invited me up to the FD for take-off and landing, and a Virgin 744 crew who indulged me for landing at EWR.

I must single out one particular visit on a KLM 767 to BEY though. I don't know what was going on up there before I arrived but it seemed to me that the two guys hated each other. They both looked really p*ssed off and were avoiding eye contact. I quickly realised that all wasn't well and after having my few attempts at intelligent conversation rebuffed with half-hearted one word replies I returned to my seat.

But this was an isolated incident. I've been travelling on airliners for years and without exception have encountered people on the FD who seem more than happy to have someone with them who is interested in them, the aircraft and this whole aviating business.

I found that there were few pilots who didn't delight in showing off their big shiny jet and its toys to a lowly PPL. Many of us had our first experience of the pointy end of aviation in the j/s and thankfully most pilots are glad to oblige.

It's small fry after the murder of thousands of innocent civilians, the cost of billions to the world economy and the thousands of job losses to the aviation industry but Osama and his buddies are also resposible for now isolating pilots in the FD, where before 9/11 the diversion of a visting FA, interested pax or wannabe may have passed the time.

[Avman]

In thirty or so years and hundreds of FD visits I too experienced a few where the atmosphere appeared somewhat strained and I made excuses for an early exit. Sometimes I found the crew a little too formal for my liking. Sometimes I had to take unwarranted abuse about ATC from obviously ignorant (about ATC) Captains. Fortunately, the vast majority were absolutely brilliant, educational and great fun too.

[Bigears]

I'd be delighted to spill the beans about the best ones I've had, and why- great crews (incl, of course, CC), communicative, interested, educational value.......etc etc.
Then again, I suppose its like newspapers- bad news sells, and good news doesn't- no-ones interested in the success stories.
I've only ever had one bad experience -terrible it was- asked at the end of the flight for a look up front, and the crew said 'Why didn't you ask before T/O? We'd have had you up for the whole flight'- I was devastated- and never made that mistake again! :D
Apart from that, I wouldn't tell if I had a truely bad one- everyone has a bad day, and as Niknak says, it is (was :( ) a privilege.

[Georgeablelovehowindia]

Or are we talking about it from the flightdeck point of view? The dreadful child who asks "Wot are these for?" and proceeds to advance sticky hands towards the thrust levers...

[Holdposition]

My question was meant from the FD point of view, things like when little Johnny comes in and says what does this "button" do!!!!

[RadarContact]

Now where did I read that brilliant reply...

Pax -"What happens, if I press this button?" :rolleyes:
FO - "I punch you in the face!" :eek:

cheers :cool:

[Hogg]

Years ago I used fly a commuter turboprop, the kind where u have the baggage area accesible to the passengers.

Settled in the cruise, no cabincrew were required but most days with 14 paxs we had a girl, this day 16 so no tea!

My F/O heard this noise, said to me "JC whats that?", we used to hear alot of funny noises from this particular aircraft!

Then we both heard it....... Miaow Miaow and sitting between us was a beautiful fullgrown cat! which proceeded to jump onto the F/Os lap!

Its owner had got a wee bit anxious about her and gone back and opened its travel box!

Needless to say the cat had to be seated for landing! But as I fly freight now its still the closest Ive come to having a pussy upfront(excuse the pun)


Cheers
Hogg.http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/Gif/felix3.gif

[oxford blue]

When I was on an RAF transport squadron in Germany, it was not unusual for our wives to get the odd trip back to UK on one of the squadron aircraft. We had a good social life, so the loadmaster and captain would always see them them in the passenger lounge on their way through and recognise them. On one occasion, my wife was asked if she'd like to come up to the jump seat. They put her in there and gave her a head-set.

The trouble with the Andover was that the jump seat was just behind the line of vision of the pilots and it was very easy, once you were busy, to forget that you'd got someone in there. It was even easier to forget that they were on intercom.

They talked to her quite nicely en route, explaining things, until they were nearly back at Wildenrath. Then the ATC situation got a bit hectic, lot of Phantoms short of fuel, all trying to recover at once, just as they arrived. Delays and hold-offs, and lots of buggaring about. Suddenly there was a change of voice from ATC which they recognised. It was SATCO, taking personal charge. Unfortunately, everyone knew that he wasn't very good. He might have been good at getting promoted, but he wasn't as good an ATCO as his minions.

Completely forgetting about my wife on intercom, the captain remarked to the co, "Oh, God, it's SATCO! We'll never get in now. Brief the passengers for a delay. And keep a bloody good look-out!"

[exeng]

747 classic about 15 yrs ago. I lean forward to adjust the thrust levers and then turn back to find that the angelic looking child visitor has switched off the two boost pumps from no.4 main and is starting on no.3 main. I suppose he just had to know whether a JT9D would gravity feed at FL350. :eek:

All visitors should be accompanied by a member of Cabin Crew at all times.


Regards
Exeng

[malc4d]

So how is it now ?
l hear that if you show your cpl and ask nicely, sometimes you can get to one of the best seats on the plane. Or l get told sorry, would like to but not allowed. Or call and talk to the chief pilot and get f/d pass ??
Can you today still get on the f/d ?

[Nano 763]

My worst was a 4 yr old from hell.
The captain greeted the little ******, and then we continued chatting. A few minutes later, the plane, a boeing 737, yawed quite agressively left and right. He was playing with the rudder. We then told the little mongrel to keep his hands to himself or he would get the boot. After a few more minutes, he had decided that the start levers were his next target. He reached for them...............had one in each hand..............and then he got the boot.
I like to think I learn from my mistakes. No unaccompanied minors on my flight deck.

[cwatters]

Flew from Stanstead to Scotland once 'up front'. Number 2 looked like he was smoking a joint... Both feet up on the panel, both hands palm up, hand mic perched in one and a 'joint' dangling from the other. The boss seemed ok though. He spent ages explaining how to use a 'barber pole' like meter to manually sync up the engines and reduce noise in the cabin.

[tinyrice]

Quick dash in a company 747 from LHR to LGW in the rain; the speedbrakes didn't deploy on landing. Captain ( Chief pilot) turned to the F/E as we taxied past the Dan's Comet to write them up. I pointed out ( delicately ), that they'd missed them on the "before landing checklist", so they weren't armed. Big tall Texan F/E said "well ****, I guess we did an' all". Got my arse reamed for failing to point it out. Was told in no uncertain terms that on the ground, I was maintenance, but in his cockpit I was extra crew, so bloody well pay attention. So unlike the best ride I ever had - a Dan-Air Comet from Grotwick to Malaga to fix a DC8. What a great crowd, even on descent with condensation running over everybody like a shower. Only a Brit captain could draw everybodys attention to the wondorous azure blue sweep of the Mediteranean, while looking like he'd pee'd himself. Luverly.

[PAXboy]

I can't say if I have ever been a ghastly visitor but certainly remember my very first visit. It was my first flight ever, Dec 1965, VC-10 LHR to JNB. Is it time for another "Junior Jet Club" thread??? ;)

However, my nephew has a story from his time as F/O in J41s. Capt had agreed to a pax being with them for T/O and assured his F/O that is was nothing to do with the fact that she was a blonde bombshell. When she appeared, this indeed was the case! She also met the stereotype for I.Q.

They briefed her on what to do if they had to evacuate on the ground and my nephew says the standard, "Here is the rope. I will open this window and go out. Don't wait to be invited."

"Oh" she said, "Wouldn't it be easier for me to go out of the main door?"

My newphew says, "No, this is the exit. Don't worry, I have the words, "FOLLOW ME" stamped on the soles of my shoes."

Obviously impressed, the bombshell says, "That's very clever."

Avoiding the Captains smirk, he adds, "Yes, they're company standard issue."
:p

[203]

Kids still like to visit but the CP lights don't always compare to a pocket nintendo.

[PA38]

The good old days when you where allowed on the flight deck....:(
The best for me was on Easy jet LPL to BCN a couple of years ago, let me stay for landing...

Ho the good old days, but nostalga aint what it used to be:D

[G SXTY]

My favourite was the F100 captain who, on shortish finals to 06 at AMS, pointed out a nearby hotel. “See that place? That’s the KLM hotel, and there’s more sh@gging goes on in there than the rest of Holland put together.” :D:D:D

Nuff said.

[compressor stall]

Jumpseating in a DHC7 run by an obscure national airline whose language I just happen to speak after spending time there in my youth.

Crew just presumed as I was an Australian pilot I could not speak said language.

On final, F/O's altimiter playing up, and something else as well, Capt starts to describe everything that is wrong with the aircraft in his rather eloquent languge, not realising I could understand every word.

Disembarking after pulling up at the gate, I thanked the Captain in his native tongue. He was surprised, then went white.:cool:

[PAXboy]

I've just remembered a visit ... after asking some questions that I hoped were sensible, the Capt asked me if I was a 'PPL'?

He thought that I knew a lot about it!! I was very pleased and advised that I had never even so much as seen a PC flying programme either!

So, perhaps I was the visitor from helll - in that I knew something about it all!

[mikegreatrex]

Had the good fortune to fly jumpseat a number of times.

Most eventful was on takeoff from Buenos Aries. Taxying out to the hold, whilst deploying the flaps for take off, we received a red warning signifying a problem. Captain recycled the flaps, indication disapeared. Captain briefed the F/O to stop if the warning re-appeared below 80 Knots, but continue if it happened in excess of this.

Off we go and guess what happened @ 135 knots, not to far short of V1, yes a red warning. Captain calls "STOP". and by god did we stop.

The aircraft was a BA 747 400, very heavy, I was in the centre jump seat and I videoed the lot!!!

We had a brake overheat returning to stand and ended up stopping another night.

Cannot remember the skippers name, but he has a copy of the video for his own private re-run of his briefing.

[SPRATLEVEL300]

As an ACO, I have always tried to take fam flights whenever possible.
I have had good and bad.

They range from no visit allowed to the F D with several carriers (on official fam flight scheme).

On Cyprus airways a fellow ATCO and I were allowed on the flight deck once all the children had visited. Once there we were practically ignored. On the return leg, the outbound Captain was dead-heading home and totally ignored us.

Two trips with Olympic...excellent!

All BAW trips excellent. Flight deck and cabin crew incredibly hospitable. very hospitable on long haul stopovers (especially since I wasn't on allowances)..VIR good as well.

[Taildragger67]

My two-pence worth.I'm regular SLF with a PPL and prior to 11 Sep always asked if I could go up-front for T/O or landing. Europeans (including Brits) always courteous & usually accommodating (especially the Brits) where possible - well over 50% of the time. They really appeared to enjoy chatting & showing off their toys. The only exceptions were a few pilots from my old country who appeared to be instilled by their employer with a bit of a God-complex.

I never ceased to be amazed at the consistent level of professionalism of F/D crew across Europe and especially when operating in the London area - where the ATCOs are also really incredible. It was always nice to hear a couple of familiar voices on Director duty.

I miss chatting to you guys and appreciate what happens on most BA flights now - one of the drivers appears at the door as the punters get off. Nice to see you're still human!!

Hope to be able to see you all again soon.

TD67