Finding the balance between instructor and friend

[RTN11]

I've been instructing for about 2 years now, and I enjoy having a professional relationship with most of my students based on mutual respect, and in the environment they know me in it works well.

Lately however, quite a few of my students have been trying to add me on facebook and socialise with me out of the flying school/club environment. How do you draw the line and keep things professional? If I become too friendly with certain students, especially younger ones, I'm concerned that they would not take future criticism of their flying too well, seeing me too much as a friend rather than instructor/teacher, and it would ruin the learning setup we have.

Do school teachers suffer the same?

[foxmoth]

Personally I have never had a problem with this, I have had students who have stayed just that, and others who have become good friends - but part of that friendship has always been them respecting my opinion as an instructor and I have never found any problem telling anyone what they need to hear. Having said that - to me a Facebook friend is something different and I would want them as a friend in RL before adding them on FB:bored:

[foxmoth]

Very strange - I write Face book and it comes out Facebook!:confused:

And I did NOT type Pprune on either post!:rolleyes::uhoh:

[RTN11]

Same here! i definitely typed face book and it came out with facebook. how strange.

[172_driver]

Just came back from a friendly football game with instructors and students. Good team building exercise, IMO strengthening the band between us in a good way. Just shows that we (instructors) are humans as well, that we just have a product that they want, i.e. we teach them to fly. No respect lost, except when we beat their ass in football :E

Face book, I am not sure... I was a bit reluctant at first but have just started accepting. Some people you keep contact with after their training is over. But I guess we all have pictures we may want to keep away from the kidzzz.... :O

I don't go out drinking with them though.....

[Genghis the Engineer]

FacePprune is a Danny-ism.

I personally won't have any current colleagues on Face Book - that's what LinkedIn is for. When I was a university lecturer, I had the same rule. If somebody becomes a friend after professional involvement, then great.

A small degree of separation always seems appropriate to me, for everybody's peace of mind.

G

[puntosaurus]

I think you're confusing things by introducing your job into the equation. If you find yourself making friends and that's what you want, then run with that. If (as you imply) you don't want these people to be any closer than the job demands then you're a grown up and should be able to deal with that irrespective of the technology involved.

You're a flying instructor, not a psychotherapist. You only have a role when you're teaching. The rest of the time you're a regular Joe/Joanna, and your day job shouldn't infect your social relationships nor vice versa.

Of course if you find it hard to step into role after being social then don't do it, but I'd recommend working on that rather than cultivating some concept of distance.

When and if you become an examiner (or a psychotherapist !) then that's a different story.

[Booglebox]

I'm no instructor, but when being instructed I've had a couple of instructors who have been good friends as well as professionals. I found it was no problem to keep a reasonably "sterile cockpit" at critical phases of flight, and to take what they said seriously, on the ground and in the air. :cool:

[S-Works]

Blimey, I have loads of my students who are now friends and loads of friends whom I teach and examine.

What's wrong with being social? It does not effect my ability to teach nor my impartiality as an examiner.

I guess if you cant keep the separation then you have no choice but to refuse the requests.

[blagger]

It is well established that the best lessons about flying you will ever learn will be over a pint in a bar somewhere. Witness the Mess bar on most RAF flying stations post flying. Learning how to turn on the flying mindset when in the air is a key lesson in training.

[172_driver]

And then was there my colleague who married his former student, about a year after examination.

[puntosaurus]

Oooer missus. Begs the question as to what kind of examination it was. Fnarr Fnarr.

[zondaracer]

This thread reminds me of a girl I once knew who ended up divorcing her husband after she got knockedup by her flight instructor. No, I was not her flight instructor. She was actually an ex of mine but we broke up after I found out she pulled my neighbor. Ok enough, I'm turning pprune into a soap opera.

[Whopity]

I enjoy having a professional relationship with most of my students based on mutual respect, and in the environment they know me in it works well.Do you not treat your friends in the same way?
Many years ago when I was an instructor in the RAF we would take the guys out to play one evening, have a few beers, then hit them with an inspection the first thing next morning, no holds barred. That way they soon learned when to work and when to play. When you are the instructor, you are the boss, keep it that way. If they can't handle that, there is probably little basis for friendship anyway.