View Full Version : Aviation lies.
Fuji Abound
7th Jul 2010, 16:05
Always worth seeing if there are any new ones.
Here are a few I like any way:
I am from the small ports unit, and I am here to help you.
Dont worry, I have got 2,000 hours now and 1,700 of those are on instruments.
I have just had the annual done, so everything will be working just fine.
Dont worry the TAF isnt forecasting any sea mist.
Strange I could see the runway exactly on minimiums.
I didnt check the fuel but I reckon the tanks were almost full.
"This one's cheap"
"Don't worry, i'm not going far - i'll be back by xxxx"
dont overfil
7th Jul 2010, 16:22
Performance, range and fuel burn figures in most light aircraft flight manuals.
DO.
There cannot be any CBs embedded in this stuff.
fuzzy6988
7th Jul 2010, 16:44
"Our skies are already too crowded"
BEagle
7th Jul 2010, 16:54
"Of course it's long enough!"*
"These fuel gauges always under-read"
"It's just a sticky NAV flag"
"It'll be fine by the time we get back"
*The runway, I mean.
FREQUENTFLYER1234
7th Jul 2010, 16:59
From my students:
"I was just about to do that"
"No one ever told me that"
Trust me, I am a commercial pilot.
GusHoneybun
7th Jul 2010, 17:04
- don't worry, you'll only be based there for 6 months.
- i got the lights at minima.
- that was a good landing, captain.
- don't put it in the tech log, i'll fix that tonight.
- FTL's aren't a limit, they are a target.
BackPacker
7th Jul 2010, 17:16
"It'll be fine. We'll use the FAA average passenger weights schedule instead of your actual weight."
Jan Olieslagers
7th Jul 2010, 17:26
I've never known it to do that before.
Cows getting bigger
7th Jul 2010, 18:17
Don't worry, it always does that.
Hold at ****. Expect a short delay.
I'm VMC
1.5 from the Hobbs
I did a full 'A' check.
The wind changed and the wing suddenly lost lift.
I don't recollect seeing any other aircraft.
I refuelled the tanks back to the level they were when I picked-up the aircraft.
No, I didn't cane the aircraft and I made sure I leaned as much as possible.
Katamarino
7th Jul 2010, 18:17
"I'm from the CAA, and I'm here to help you"
It will clear in the air.
Rod1
OutsideCAS
7th Jul 2010, 19:10
"No, no, no....we here at (*insert well known low cost airline name) would never expect you to fund a Type Rating !!"
"Of course it's a legal duty, it's been checked by Ops."
"Look, i've been paid far too much again this month"
"No, don't worry, the HOTAC is all booked for your arrival into ABCD"
"....and then you'll position back to home base the same day"
(In a pikey accent): 'Fly to Paris for one pound!'.
Foxy Loxy
7th Jul 2010, 19:41
"Sorry, you were trying to call me? Had a bit of a problem with the radio...." :E
It works both ways! ;)
If the fuel in the aircraft tech log agrees with the fuel in the daily flight record sheet, there is no need to check the tanks visually.
That wire (ends hanging out under the cowling) only goes to the landing light. Don't switch on the landing light and you will be fine (school with an AOC).
jollyrog
7th Jul 2010, 19:49
I'm an instructor.
We have fuel.
Don't worry......you won't lose money buying one of these, they keep their resale value really well.
stiknruda
7th Jul 2010, 20:03
The only hard thing about flying is the ground!
Don't worry about all the nav bolleaux - just get a GPS as soon as you've got yr PPL (attrib Lyc 6 cyl :E)
FAA system is the only way fwd!
JAA has it in for overseas based N reg's.
Could I flythat? Hell I could fly the box it came in!
airpolice
7th Jul 2010, 21:15
It was going fine for me all day yesterday and was perfect when I put it in the hangar last night.
Legalapproach
7th Jul 2010, 21:31
They all look/sound/move like that, it's quite normal.
Hen Ddraig
7th Jul 2010, 22:24
BA five weeks ago "We will refund the cost of the flight we cancelled"
Time to spare,go by air
Hen ddraig
rocco16
7th Jul 2010, 23:45
EASA is here to improve things by proportionate regulation based upon aviation knowledge.
Shiny Side Up
8th Jul 2010, 02:02
When told by ATC no transponder: "Ah yeah its been acting up lately"
Then quickly turning it from stdby to alt...
This will be an EASA Minor Mod. It was last time we did it.
Mike Cross
8th Jul 2010, 07:17
"Sorry we're late back. Pre-flight checks have all been done and it's just been re-fuelled so off you go!"
This from the instructor before my QXC. On landing at Southend I spotted a mark on the prop. The "Pre-flight checks" had not included removal of the towbar, which had bounced into the propellor arc and been hurled to one side as they taxied out for the previous sortie without them even being aware of it.
"The annual's all complete and she's ready to go." (Apart that is from the pair of pliers sitting on top of the cylinders."
"We never touched the trim" After a very quick circuit holding the stick forward aginst full nose-up trim due to mis-rigging when collecting an aircraft from repair.
bingoboy
8th Jul 2010, 16:06
They're all like that.
Crash one
8th Jul 2010, 17:14
I did a DI three weeks ago & there was absolutely nothing wrong with it! If we can get it in, we'll get it out, trust me.
Human Factor
8th Jul 2010, 19:59
How hard can it be?
eharding
8th Jul 2010, 21:28
"It'll be three weeks, and £4K"
"Колеса вниз и закрывается"
Human Factor
8th Jul 2010, 22:44
Sorry chaps, I forgot to add the VAT. ;)
BackPacker
8th Jul 2010, 22:50
Oh, well, the POH forbids intentional spins, loops and barrel rolls but you can still do them if you know what you're doing.
Blues&twos
9th Jul 2010, 06:55
the POH forbids intentional spins, loops and barrel rolls
Love the idea of an unintentional loop.
BackPacker
9th Jul 2010, 08:05
Actually I've done unintentional spins, loops, barrel rolls, avalanches and a few other aerobatic figures. But they all started out as another aerobatic figure and went wrong halfway through.:ugh:
Turning a loop into an unintentional avalanche came as a suprise to all on board though. Note to self: Must remember to loosen the backpressure on the stick *completely* when near the top of the loop, and to keep the ball in the middle. Especially in an aircraft with very little pre-stall feedback.
Molesworth 1
9th Jul 2010, 09:15
Your PPL will only cost you 45 hours of instruction time.
NazgulAir
9th Jul 2010, 10:56
Those fuel gauges are always pessimistic.
You can land at XXXX after ATC has gone home. Just be able to speak French!
Small planes don't have to pay the handling charge.
Avgas available here at low prices.
Don't worry, it won't spin.
BackPacker
9th Jul 2010, 11:55
Si, abbiamo Avgas
Unusual Attitude
9th Jul 2010, 12:31
PROB30.......
BackPacker
9th Jul 2010, 13:24
Yezzay have ikauw langua profissenzy zix.
24Carrot
9th Jul 2010, 14:58
A good student like you won't have any trouble with circuits.
Genghis the Engineer
10th Jul 2010, 14:21
'You don't need to read the manual, it flies just like anything else's
'standard spin recovery will be fine'
'no need for PPR, just turn up'
'so long as you've a reasonable number of hours in something similar you'll be fine test flying a new homebuilt '
'Canard aircraft don't stall'
'gyroplanes are the safest aircraft there are' (how many times have I heard this?, does anybody in the BRA ever read the accident stasistics?)
G
Mode S will enhance flight safety...