Where are the baby Pigeons

[Duckegg]

How come you never see baby pigeons?

[Reichman]

Probably the same reason that you've never seen a poor lawyer or a dead donkey.

[SeenTheLight]

And why is orange jam called marmalade?

[Flying_Padre]

and do the SAS do block jobs?

:D :D :D

[ShyTorque]

DuckyEgg,

Because no-one is stupid enough to look up under a pigeons nest.

:rolleyes:

Splaat!

(Edited because at this time of night I can't even spell "a"!)

[ 21 August 2001: Message edited by: ShyTorque ]

[Gainesy]

Why are Harriers known as fastjets?

[oldpinger]

How can you tell a Harrier is still manned up?

The whining continues after the engine is shut down :p

[Duckegg]

Another one that gets me is...
How do they grow seedless grapes???
and

Why do Kamikase pilots wear crash helmets???? :confused:

[Wholigan]

Also --- whatever happened to the crispy bacon we used to get before the war?

[Brave Sir Robin]

Right, on the same theme....

How do they get the trains in the underground?

What do you call a building when it's finished?

Why is there only one word for thesaurus?

Why do Football players wear shorts in the winter and Cricket players wear trousers in the summer?

[Firestreak]

Why is there only one Monopolies & Merger Committee? :confused: :confused:

[SeenTheLight]

How do snow plough drivers get to work?

[Vortex_Generator]

What is an occasional table the rest of the time?

[BEagle]

And - although we've had them before:

In a one horse race, why does it bother?

Huw does a Thermos know that it must keep hot things hot, but cold things cold?

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

What gave the first person to milk a cow the idea?

[Gainesy]

How did they fix exhausts with wooden coat hangers?

[willoman]

Why a blow-job ? It's mainly suck !

[Suit]

If the human race evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?

Suit.......

[Reichman]

Why aren't Movers called Stoppers or Delayers? :mad:

[gravity victim]

How did the fool get his money in the first place?

[Incipient Sinner]

Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

Why is dyslexia so hard to spell? :eek:

[Art Field]

What would happen if a centipede stopped to think about how to walk?

[Fay Deck]

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What did they go back to before the drawing board was invented?

[BHP]

Why only one Mergers & Monopolies Commission?

[propulike]

And why do you never see a cashew nut in its shell?

[Incipient Sinner]

What exactly do they use to stick the teflon to the frying pan if it's that d@mn slippy??

[AffirmBrest]

Why does sour cream have a Best Before date?

[Roger D'Erassoff]

How do blind people know when to stop wiping their @rse?

[Kiting for Boys]

This isn't Rocket Surgery

[Low and Slow]

What were Barn Owls called before we had Barns?

Why wont my natrual parents let me trace my foster family??

[snafu]

Why is dyslexic such a difficult word to spell??

[Firestreak]

:mad: Why don't people read the thread before posting repeats?

[Hengist Pod]

Why don't people read the thread before posting repeats?

[BEagle]

How the hell can you possibly have such a thing as a 'fun' run?

[ 25 August 2001: Message edited by: BEagle ]

[snafu]

Because at 0030 after a bottle of vino, they didn't realise that there was more than one page!

[Dan Winterland]

Why is there only one mergers and monopolies commission? Oh, sorry!

Float Navy
Dig Army
Fly RAF
Eat Pies :cool:

[ 25 August 2001: Message edited by: Dan Winterland ]

[STANDTO]

why doesnt glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why can't women put mascara on with their mouth closed.

why hasn't a psychic ever won the lottery?

Why do doctors call what they do "Practice"?

Why does rain drop, but snow falls?

Why is it, that when you are looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food?

[Talking Radalt]

Why do birds....suddenly appear...
Ev'ry time, you are near....

[Dr Schlong]

...just like me, they long to be... :D

[BEagle]

........close to you!!

[bumpthrust]

Why is stuff sent by sea called cargo but if it's sent by land transport known as shipment?

Also...why are transponder codes always 'coming down'? From where?

and... what is a 'radar' heading and how do I steer one (as opposed to a 'heading')?

[ 26 August 2001: Message edited by: bumpthrust ]

[Greek God]

How do they paint "Do Not Paint" on all those panels?

[Alf Aworna]

Why do you turn a computer off with the start button???....

[Hairdefender]

WHy isn't Stores called Issues or is that a stupid question :p

[PlasticCabDriver]

Where did people put their televisions before tables where invented?

Where did all the white dog poo go?

[ 29 August 2001: Message edited by: PlasticCabDriver ]

[Hengist Pod]

Why don't daddy long-legs die out if they're all male?

[maniac55]

Why don't ladybirds die out if the're all female?

[Tir renrie]

The Neverending story "2" :p

[propulike]

Why do people trust a faith healer who wears glasses?

[HugMonster]

If you export snails, do they go on escargot ships?

[MightyGem]

What happens to your lap when you stand up?
:p

[Darnic]

How come 'men' can direct a missile with pin-point accuracy down the middle of a ventilation shaft from 40,000 feet, but my husband can't hit the toilet bowl from 2 feet?

[BEagle]

Darnic - one hopes that his poor aim is more associated with his strafe technique than his 'bombing'...........

[Roger D'Erassoff]

If you try to fail, and succeed, what have you done? :confused:

[Hobbes_the_Tiger]

How do they do that?

[Alf Aworna]

Why can't you say fairer than that?

[Talking Radalt]

From a cat's point of view do us humans only get 1/9th of a life?

[bluntie]

Whyis something good called 'the dogs bollocks'. Yeuch!. :p

[murphy]

Why is Larry so happy, and was he a Sandboy in his youth!!!

Yours

Murph x x x

[Kiting for Boys]

Why should we be grateful for small Murphies?

[Lucifer]

Saw in a London park a sign which stated, "DO NOT DEFACE THIS SIGN."

Also why is the undercarriage called the gear. Have you ever noticed a gearbox on the walkaround?!

[Hairdefender]

Why must you make an appointment to see a psychic?

[Talking Radalt]

Bats...are they blind or are they just taking the pi$$?

[ROGERTHAT]

where do they get the seeds to grow seedless grapes??

Why do spanish fisherman only fall overboard at half three on a saturday morning(one for the sar heros) :)

[Talking Radalt]

Why hasn't Action Man got a willy?
Doesn't that make him Action Eunoch?

[Met-Loada]

Why is my PC called semen!?... :mad:

oh I see...damn kids again! :D !

[Per Ardua Ad Asda]

Why has "monosyllabic" got 5 syllables?

If you ate Pasta and Antipasto, would you still be hungry?

What do you do if an endangered animal is eating an endangered plant ?

There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

[eammon]

I'm not sure if I have missed the point of this thread, but it looks like a lot of people are having sleepless nights for no good reason:

Snow Plough Drivers get to work by setting off as soon as the first flakes begin to fall, so my girlfriend tells me, her uncle drives one.

Trains into the underground? most of the outlying tube stations are above ground, and the trains go underground via tunnels as they approach central London.

Orange Jam/Marmalade - some believe that this comes from the fact that 'orange jam' was believed to have great curative properties and comes from 'Ma malade' (approx. = my illness).

Teflon stick to frying pans?
I seem to recall some TV program (probably Johnny Ball) saying that they stick the frying pan into acid first, then neutralize the acid, this causes lots of very small fissures on the frying pan which the liquid Teflon fills, when it dries it is firmly attached to the frying pan!!

"If the human race evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"

To fill the scribbly desks at Binnsworth and Hand-Brake house, it's only a shame the RAF don't train them a bit better. :D

[You want it when?]

Mr Logic you sir are a spoilsport. However YWIW junior has reached the stage in his life when the only question is Why? Can I please borrow you for a weekend? AS I am running out of answers....

[ 06 September 2001: Message edited by: You want it when? ]

[John Eacott]

How do blind people know where the braille sign is on the wall next to the public toilet door?

[beardy]

"If the human race evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?"
We didn't, we had a common ancestor. We are still apes.

[Wander00]

JE - do you know, I have often wondered that

[Danny42C]

How true, beardy ! (Read Kipling's Divided Destinies).

[ricardian]

Also --- whatever happened to the crispy bacon we used to get before the war?
I suspect it went off long before 1945

[chris weston]

I thought squabs were found in cars......

[PPRuNeUser0139]

Why is something said to be cheap at half the price? Surely it should be cheap at twice the price?

[Kiltrash]

Why when the sign says Wet Paint have we a urge to touch it?



Proof Positive that time travel exists, Thread fell through from 17 years ago .... and still England wont win the World Cup

[Fareastdriver]

If you want to see baby pigeons go to Scarborough. On the seeward side of the Grand Hotel all the window sills have one or two pigeons nest piles on the with the birds hatching their eggs.

[diginagain]

Who thought it would be a good idea to inform people clambering-up into the back of a Hastings that Smoke Floats, and if we humans are superior to apes, why do we need both hands to unpeel a banana, when a chimp can do the same with one?

[Mogwi]

Actually - you do see baby pigeons, it's just that the differences are VERY small. It's all to do with the soft nostrils. Not many pilots know that - or care!

off to ring a migrant.

Mog

[Pontius Navigator]

Why did John Eacott resurrect a 17 year old thread?

Where did House Martins nest before houses?

Were there Hedge Sparrows before hedges?

Why aren't hills in a field called Field Gulls?

Chips aren't cheap.

Where did Starlings gather before telephone wires and electricity cables?
​​

[Baldeep Inminj]

why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

If a Fly is called a 'Fly', why isn't a Fish called a 'Swims'?'

Why is the man who looks after my money called a Broker?

Why do 'flammable' and 'Inflammable' mean the same thing?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

[S'land]

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One assumes that it was the bread knife.

[Traffic_Is_Er_Was]

Why is the man who looks after my money called a Broker?
To comply with truth in advertising laws.

[Penny Washers]

Is it true that wind is made by trees waving their branches about?

[pasta]

Is it true that wind is made by trees waving their branches about?
Historically, that used to be true. These days, wind farms are responsible for a much higher contribution, and they can be run very cost-effectively using cheap off-peak electricity. Offshore wind farms are a real game-changer, because they can be built in locations where it was previously very difficult to plant trees.

[Rocket2]

Am I typing this using my tabletop?
Should I buy an ear phone to replace my eye phone?
Do Camels think their toes are really that sexy?

[dhp41]

Do sweet shops on Mars sell Earth bars?

And what do butterflies get in their stomachs when they're nervous?

[gr4techie]

and do the SAS do block jobs?

:D :D :D

I love urban legends. Some wouldn't surprise me if they were true ....

Where did the SAS get all those rolls of black bodge tape from, to cover their eyes in photographs?

What would happen if the Soviet Red Army invaded on a weekend ? Or during tea break ? At least the Black Swan will be well manned on a Friday night.

Steve the Station Barber knows everything, so does the CAS ask Steve the Station Barber first before planning everything and the Prime Minister gets her news from Steve the Barber quicker than she can from the BBC or CNN. Or does Steve the Barber secretly work for the KGB?

Why in the junior ranks mess does the chicken curry not actually contain any chicken? And since when did a ""chef"" make deep fried chips and reheated cans of beans?

Does Tornado ADV stand for "airshow display variant"

Is it true that if you rotate the turret on a Scimitar tank anti-clockwise, 17 times, does the turret fall off ?

Why did Japanese kamikaze pilots where protective googles, flying caps and flying suits ?

Lossiemouth is closer to Norway than it is to London. If you try to get any online shopping delivered to Lossiemouth the courier thinks it's on the edge of the World. It never gets dark at Lossiemouth this time of the year, while in winter those who work in "hard" buildings like comcen don't see daylight for 3 months.

Is it true that a fire extinguisher on Typhoon was an optional extra offered in the sales brochure? I think the buzzword is "fitted for but not with"

is it true the Prison Service turned down Colt's junior ranks accom for not being a high enough standard ?

You never see any seagulls around the Coningsby airfield feeder on the days they serve "roast chicken". Coincidence?

[Coltishall. loved it]

Nothing lasts forever as we know (except, for purple rain) So why have you, and anybody you know, have never seen a bird fall out of the sky due to heart attack/stroke etc?

[MPN11]

Here you go ... two baby Rock Pigeons [squabs] hatched in a plant trough on the balcony of our room in Stellenbosch back in December.

Sadly they declined to hatch until a few days after we left, but I was sent this ... which I now can't seem to attach :(


(Bloody Internet Brands) :mad:

https://i.imgur.com/IMPAooM.jpg

[Pontius Navigator]

Or does Steve the Barber secretly work for the KGB?

I used to use a barber in Melton Mowbray when at Cottesmore in the 60s. The stream of questions we like an interrogation. The RAF SIB investigated and determined he was just gabby, but if course you don't know who else was listening.

[Pontius Navigator]

If an OmniBus became a Bus, what was a Car when it wasn't an Automobile? Was it a Noncar?

[MPN11]

Post #90 now with added squabs ;)

[2 TWU]

Bizarrely, I have seen a pigeon fall out of the sky with presumably a heart failure. I was walking between 2 hangars at Linton when a pigeon flew past, suddenly ceased to fly and fell to the ground stone dead.

[Pontius Navigator]

Bizarrely, I have seen a pigeon fall out of the sky with presumably a heart failure. I was walking between 2 hangars at Linton when a pigeon flew past, suddenly ceased to fly and fell to the ground stone dead.
No, clearly it flew through a chemical leak while they were prepping chem tanks.

[Coltishall. loved it]

Bizarrely, I have seen a pigeon fall out of the sky with presumably a heart failure. I was walking between 2 hangars at Linton when a pigeon flew past, suddenly ceased to fly and fell to the ground stone dead.

Thank you, I knew it must happen, but you seem to be the only person who has seen it! Why do they not move off the road when a 2 ton car is about to run them over. But as I lightly twitch my curtains in the morning from above bedroom, and they are pecking around on the lawn do they $hit themselves? And fly off, On my black car usually!

[Mogwi]

Here you go ... two baby Rock Pigeons [squabs] hatched in a plant trough on the balcony of our room in Stellenbosch back in December.

Sadly they declined to hatch until a few days after we left, but I was sent this ... which I now can't seem to attach :(


(Bloody Internet Brands) :mad:

https://i.imgur.com/IMPAooM.jpg
Check out the nostrils!

[Herod]

Funnily enough, only last weekend one of our canal restoration group found a baby pigeon under a bush. It wasn't able to fly, and since we knew where it had come from (a nest in the old warehouse) it was placed there again. The question is; how did it get under the bush, a good 50 m from the warehouse?

[Pontius Navigator]

Herod, you remind me, we had one years ago. It was some distance from our bird hotel. We had a tall cypress tree home to pigeons and pheasants amongst others but nests invisible and inaccessible.