flying.fantomas
10th Nov 2008, 07:46
Hello to you all desperate out there....
With a little anticipation, here is the next show...it is not about cabin crew, it is a special request of one reader asking me how I saw life down here...
Since I will have to go back to the civilized but depressed part of the world, I will see you in about 10 days....
Thomas reads an advertisement in flight international. This advertisement is full of lies, but he doesn’t' t know it yet.
Since he is depressed by the almost global economical meltdown and fed up of changing company all the time, he decides to believe in the add and applies.
He talks about it to the wife, who is fed up of working, and they both agree (for once...) : it is a good choice.
Since Thomas is not a complete moron, he makes it trough the selection program and one day there he is on his way to Hell.
He thinks he is like the people in the 1900's going to America and a dream.... when in reality he just boarded the Titanic.
He arrives a fresh morning (so to speak...) of October in the middle east (which in reality, as he will soon discover, should be named the middle of nowhere...) and then enters the company accommodation, which happens to be in the middle of nowhere of the city that is in the middle of nowhere of the place that should be named the middle of nowhere.... (I know it’s complicated but think of it.)
So, there he is happy for a fresh new start...
Having received a lot of money from the company to assist him survive the thermonuclear shockwave that is to come, he starts to buy anything and everything.... already, he should have known. This behavior is like when you go to the casino: drinks are free so not only you will loose money faster, but eventually also forget you lost it...
Anyway, he soon attends the training sessions and is happy to have finally found someone who knows less than him, but still better than when he will have to deal with the cabin crew, who know absolutely nothing, except the tech specs of the latest Nokia phone.
His wife in the meantime is above happiness; she doesn't have to work anymore and can feel every day like being Cleopatra commanding an army of slaves...
Her dream has come true; she can spend tons of money buying things no one needs, in the most beautiful malls of the world. Everything looks like Las Vegas, without the casinos, without csi, but with the same type of girls and an even worse taste for architecture.
Since he is still in the early stages of life in paradise soon to be hell, he convinces his best friend bob (who is single...) to join the company as well.
Bob being a playboy obsessed by money, he sees in this an opportunity to test new grounds...and joins.
Bob soon discovers that this place is made for him, and realizes that in the middle of nowhere you can make as much money selling booze and condoms than you can make selling oil....
The happy family is now organizing more and more barbecues with lots of people they call friends, and during which they hear very interesting stories about mark who dates jenny, but jenny is having an affair with Elisabeth while being married to José, José likes Philip but cannot do his coming out, Philip is with everybody, and in the end everybody has a headache. It is either that or either listen to the story of this guy who crossed the outer marker at 320 kts, upside down, single engine, dual hydraulic failure and still made it stabilized by 500 feet so that flight safety wouldn't call him in. he is a super hero, iron man now looks like a joke, and everybody loves him.
What everybody should be talking about thaw is the fact that having more money (surely, and some of them have demonstrated to be unable to handle that...), more education (really?), being of a different skin color (sometimes) and being smarter (remains to be seen) doesn’t give them the right to treat other people, they sometimes have the indecency to call slaves, like ****.
But that is not going to happen:
1.because its not funny to talk about that.
2.because everybody is too drunk.
3.because after their first summer in the middle of nowhere, they all lost their brains, and also their souls...
So, life goes on, and every day he feels more and more like living the story in the book 1984. But there is no big brother; here the name of the ones watching and talking about your life is desperate housewives.
The middle of nowhere is slowly but surely becoming the next temptation island, because his wife is on her way to become Martha Stewart.
Everyday he wonders how come everybody can be so much in the hurry of doing nothing, and is fed up of risking his life on the streets where everybody drives like in Mario kart.
He understood that the middle of nowhere is a refugee camp for all the people who want to be hired by companies who have never heard about a psychometric test.
He now dreams every night about bad things happening to pretty much everybody, and realized he boarded the Titanic. But the Titanic's trip last only 3 days, and his will be like the story of the movie groundhog day, for the next 15 years...
I know guys... it deserves an Oscar in the sadness category...next week will be better with the typical day of a cabin crew...
With a little anticipation, here is the next show...it is not about cabin crew, it is a special request of one reader asking me how I saw life down here...
Since I will have to go back to the civilized but depressed part of the world, I will see you in about 10 days....
Thomas reads an advertisement in flight international. This advertisement is full of lies, but he doesn’t' t know it yet.
Since he is depressed by the almost global economical meltdown and fed up of changing company all the time, he decides to believe in the add and applies.
He talks about it to the wife, who is fed up of working, and they both agree (for once...) : it is a good choice.
Since Thomas is not a complete moron, he makes it trough the selection program and one day there he is on his way to Hell.
He thinks he is like the people in the 1900's going to America and a dream.... when in reality he just boarded the Titanic.
He arrives a fresh morning (so to speak...) of October in the middle east (which in reality, as he will soon discover, should be named the middle of nowhere...) and then enters the company accommodation, which happens to be in the middle of nowhere of the city that is in the middle of nowhere of the place that should be named the middle of nowhere.... (I know it’s complicated but think of it.)
So, there he is happy for a fresh new start...
Having received a lot of money from the company to assist him survive the thermonuclear shockwave that is to come, he starts to buy anything and everything.... already, he should have known. This behavior is like when you go to the casino: drinks are free so not only you will loose money faster, but eventually also forget you lost it...
Anyway, he soon attends the training sessions and is happy to have finally found someone who knows less than him, but still better than when he will have to deal with the cabin crew, who know absolutely nothing, except the tech specs of the latest Nokia phone.
His wife in the meantime is above happiness; she doesn't have to work anymore and can feel every day like being Cleopatra commanding an army of slaves...
Her dream has come true; she can spend tons of money buying things no one needs, in the most beautiful malls of the world. Everything looks like Las Vegas, without the casinos, without csi, but with the same type of girls and an even worse taste for architecture.
Since he is still in the early stages of life in paradise soon to be hell, he convinces his best friend bob (who is single...) to join the company as well.
Bob being a playboy obsessed by money, he sees in this an opportunity to test new grounds...and joins.
Bob soon discovers that this place is made for him, and realizes that in the middle of nowhere you can make as much money selling booze and condoms than you can make selling oil....
The happy family is now organizing more and more barbecues with lots of people they call friends, and during which they hear very interesting stories about mark who dates jenny, but jenny is having an affair with Elisabeth while being married to José, José likes Philip but cannot do his coming out, Philip is with everybody, and in the end everybody has a headache. It is either that or either listen to the story of this guy who crossed the outer marker at 320 kts, upside down, single engine, dual hydraulic failure and still made it stabilized by 500 feet so that flight safety wouldn't call him in. he is a super hero, iron man now looks like a joke, and everybody loves him.
What everybody should be talking about thaw is the fact that having more money (surely, and some of them have demonstrated to be unable to handle that...), more education (really?), being of a different skin color (sometimes) and being smarter (remains to be seen) doesn’t give them the right to treat other people, they sometimes have the indecency to call slaves, like ****.
But that is not going to happen:
1.because its not funny to talk about that.
2.because everybody is too drunk.
3.because after their first summer in the middle of nowhere, they all lost their brains, and also their souls...
So, life goes on, and every day he feels more and more like living the story in the book 1984. But there is no big brother; here the name of the ones watching and talking about your life is desperate housewives.
The middle of nowhere is slowly but surely becoming the next temptation island, because his wife is on her way to become Martha Stewart.
Everyday he wonders how come everybody can be so much in the hurry of doing nothing, and is fed up of risking his life on the streets where everybody drives like in Mario kart.
He understood that the middle of nowhere is a refugee camp for all the people who want to be hired by companies who have never heard about a psychometric test.
He now dreams every night about bad things happening to pretty much everybody, and realized he boarded the Titanic. But the Titanic's trip last only 3 days, and his will be like the story of the movie groundhog day, for the next 15 years...
I know guys... it deserves an Oscar in the sadness category...next week will be better with the typical day of a cabin crew...