World's Most Necessary Patio

[istandfornothing]

In a recent foray to the CTC I noticed a significant amount of heavy plant machinery around the back constructing what appears to be a patio about the size of a tennis court.

It's comforting to know that a cash-strapped company like NATS, that cannot afford to sustain the pension, is still able to splash out on essential things such as this.

[privatesandwiches]

it must be one of the following:

1) new and improved and also life size chess set.
2) a starbucks extension.
3) another meeting room.
4) ctc towers so everyone can have a cozy sleep.
5) a valet station for the aston and employees will be rostered 1 lunch break a month to valet it.. (followed by number 4 above after all that scrubbing)
6) Paul Mckenna's new arena to come and hypnotise us into voting yes.
7)a ferris wheel and dodgems to boost morale
8) somewhere for M&S to keep the overflow of xmas turkeys.
9) somewhere for nats to keep the overflow of useless, pointless middle management types (also turkeys) with new and make believe job titles as they clearly serve no actual purpose for both operational and non ops staff.

[eglnyt]

Rumour has it the large bollards removed from the car park belong to the landlord and had to be kept on site so they've been moved to the back and surrounded by the new patio presumably because they looked out of place on the petanque court which it has replaced.

[Traffic is...]

I work for NATS and surely can't be the only one that is getting a little bored about all the whining about stuff on this public forum.
I'm all for whining and moaning, but if it's specific to NATS why can't it be put on the NATS forum?
Yay or nay? I'm guessing the answer will be nay.

[mr.777]

Sandwiches, you forgot number 10.....space for the Paul Barron Memorial Statue, where people will be required to bow and pray 3 times a day in gracious thanks for the destruction of our pension, terms and conditions, and God only knows what else.

Traffic is....
Get a sense of humour mate:ugh:

[hold at SATAN]

Have Nokia joined forces with NATS? check out the colour scheme

Comes With Music (http://www.nokia.com/comeswithmusic)

[mr.777]

Comes With Music 2013..... sounds like yet another pointless management initiative to me.

[ZOOKER]

It is, in fact, the new site for the 'Devaney Institute'.
An internationally-acclaimed centre of business excellence. :}:}

[ZOOKER]

Actually,
It might be something to do with Air Traffic Control. :E

[privatesandwiches]

i highly doubt it zooker... nats havent done anything to do with air traffic control for years.

and no this shouldn be on the nats forum.... lighten up sunny jim :ok:

[istandfornothing]

The crazy thing is, I look at the Nokia link, and all I can think about is how the colour scheme is "reinforcing the concept of safe separation".

...yet this has nothing to do with mobile phones.

I can't help thinking that Nokia have been had by a bunch of useless art school tossers who have sold them an embarrassing meaningless brand image, then made off with all the dosh.

[Loki]

istandfornothing

Nonsense, it`s a first class piece of recycling....possibly

As for the patio, perhaps that`s where the bodies are buried.

[Traffic is...]

Apologies Mr 777. Didn't realise it was meant to be funny. ;)

[anotherthing]

Don't murderers normally build patios to cover over their hapless victims?

Maybe this is a case of building a patio to hide evidence of the pension that is dead and buried, if management get their way...

[cruisecontrol]

I was one of many who were unfortunate/stupid enough to damage their own vehicles on the now famous concrete blocks and I'm very happy to see the back of them. I'd love to meet the person who thought it was a clever idea to install several lumps of concrete around the edges of the parking spaces, all at wheel height and nicely blended in with the surrounding paving. I'd ask him or her for a contribution towards the huge cost that must have been involved in digging them up and re-siting them in what used to be a recreational area. Perhaps then we could put that money into our rapidly dwindling pension fund:)

I'd also love to think that it was in response to my written complaints that the decision was finally made to move the wretched blocks. But I'll never know because nobody responsible could be ar**d to reply to me.

Liberated and inspired? Nope, just plain tired.

[porra]

I agree totally - I don't work for NATS, have nothing against NATS but am getting a little tired of all the NATS only threads in this ATC forum!

"ATC Humour" has been over taken by "NATS interview process"!!!!

[privatesandwiches]

the only reason thats NATS is so in the limelight on here is due to current pension negotiations and pay talks etc.....
Im afraid if you dont like it, thats tough. This is a public forum and as it says on the tin 'rumour' network.
It also goes to show the high amount of NATS employees that use this site for everything from recruitment to training to pay and pensions and if we are lucky some generic ATC. This hs become a valuable resource for all concerned NATS employees.
If you dont like it, dont read it.
Also, as a non NATS employee, people like yourself can see what a noddy company it has become... just in case people were thinking of coming to work for it.

[porra]

.. one finds a NATS forum.

You say don't read it if I don't like it - with a header like "World's Most Necessary Patio" - not much telling that it's a NATS SPECIFIC THREAD!!

I think it's time the mods stepped in here

[cruisecontrol]

Hmmm, tough one that Porra.

You are of course very welcome to start your own thread on whatever ATC subject matter you like and around any service provider.:)

But NATS people do seem very proactive in this respect don't they?

[porra]

Is it proactive to complain about a new patio on an ATC forum?

I give up...:ugh:

[ImnotanERIC]

why don't you tell us what you do if you get a runway incursion by a rampant hippo in heat eyeing up a 767 while you are at work.
i await your reply with interest.

[av8boy]

ImnotanERIC,

Your post makes no sense at all. Hippos are extirpated in South Africa, and thus, a hippo is unlikely to be involved in a runway incursion in Cape Town. Further, hippo coition is initiated by the male, not the female: her being in heat entices the male to chase her. This being the case, it is more likely that the 767 would be pursuing the hippo than the other way ‘round. Apparently a hippo in estrus is a difficult thing for Boeings to resist (there is little extant data on passionate Airbus/hippo relations, so no comparison could be drawn). Alas, if the 76 seeks to enjoy the company of a shapely female, it might do well to move its quest farther to the northwest… In any case, a runway incursion under these circumstances would probably be a more traditional affair, initiated by the aircraft.

By the way, thanks for piquing my curiosity. I had to find out if hippos existed in South Africa, and in doing so came across all of this other info. Personally, I had no idea (and had very little knowledge of hippos at all). Great time waster!

:ok:

Dave

[privatesandwiches]

what if it was a hippo on holiday, and could not find the terminal after one too many cocktails?

[ImnotanERIC]

thats where i was coming from. i suggest the hippo was on holiday from newcastle. booze britain abroad

[Bamboozle Woozle]

I don't know why people are complaining about this thread....those last few posts have just had me rolling on the floor with laughter, much to my colleagues consternation!!! :}

However, on a more serious note, as a non-NATS employee (but shortly to start at the college) I have found many of the NATS related threads on this forum very useful and interesting. Not being an employee, I do not have access to the NATS forum, thus would not be able to source the information posted on there.

And as this is an "ATC Issues" forum, and NATS are the main UK provider, then surely they are more than entitled to post on this forum? If a certain thread is relevant or doesn't interest you - don't read it!!!

[anotherthing]

ImnotanERIC

One major flaw in your scenario - but you maybe will have the answer. Where in Newcastle would a hippo find a retailer with a 'Lads on tour 2008' T-shirt big enough?

Surely acquiring said T-shirt is a pre-requisite before the hippo felt he had the necessary kit to go on the lash on holiday?

I suppose he could try his local 'High and Mighty' store in the Eldon Garden Shopping Arcade or, he could try -

Large & Tall Menswear - Welcome (http://www.largeandtall.co.uk/)

or here, T-shirts, Custom T-shirts, T-shirt Printing, Cool T-Shirts UK, t shirts, tshirts, tee shirts Streetshirts (http://www.streetshirts.co.uk/?gclid=CMKLl4_M75YCFQaT1QodFHFWrA)
who do an emboidery/logo service as well, if he can get a gang (or pod/herd/dale or bloat to use a correct collective term) of his mates to share the cost (buy in bulk, as it were).

Though typing might be a problem for him.

[privatesandwiches]

and no doubt as the standard tubby airline passenger, said hippo will shoe horn himself into an economy seat, much to the displeasure of nearby svelte passengers and spend the entire flight complaining how these seats just arent designed for 'normal' sizpe people/hippos.
oh, and add a straw hat to the look. his misses is probably a little yellow budgie at home with the kids sound asleep on her silent night bed.

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:K04E7-Ilf92zWM:http://petelyon.net/gallery/design/graphic/hipduck.jpg (http://petelyon.net/gallery/design/graphic/hipduck.jpg)

[anotherthing]

Surely he'd go to the Canaries then, not South Africa?

No doubt he's the type who'd order a Bic Mac with fries (and go large for an extra 30p), with a diet coke

[privatesandwiches]

he won it in the daily sport

[porra]

We hardly see 767's at FACT....:}

[hold at SATAN]

...thats because they're snuggling up to a hippo!

[BwatchGRUNT]

Actually,
It might be something to do with Air Traffic Control.

Well said, this zooker fool obviously knows a little bit, most lilkely a triple failed ATCO 1.fail ac/tc 2.fail macc/scacc 3.fail airport - unless he was really bad and never made it out of the college.

Whichever it is I would encourage people to select the ignore feature to block him out!! He is just a :mad::mad:head

[Dances with Boffins]

C'mon Porra, apply. Join us on the Stripey Side.There's a thread somewhere that has the details on the interview process. You'd love us really.

Some even have a GSOH...:ok: