Iceland

[harrogate]

So, if the Ruskies are gonna bail the very desperate Iceland out to the tune of £4bn-or-so with a loan, is Russia gonna want something in return, apart from a **** load of interest?

I know the Yanks have left Iceland now and there was casual gossip last week in the FT of Iceland offering Russia a Naval base in return for the cash, but is that really a possibility?

How does that stand with NATO obligations, etc?

[Wader2]

Red Storm Rising?

[Molemot]

Wondered when people would begin to realise that Iceland is bought and paid for now..those nice Russians will have somewhere to park in the North Atlantic at last!!

[uffington sb]

Remember the Cod War. We should have finished them pesky Icelanders off then:(:(

[The Helpful Stacker]

Remember the Cod War. We should have finished them pesky Icelanders off then

Surely its not too late. Its the perfect opportunity to get some use out of The Andrew. Couple of Tridents, jobs a good 'un.

Best ask those sterling chaps of the Senior Service to leave their iPods at home though, best to avoid any portable music device related unpleasantness.;)

[exscribbler]

A couple of Tridents? Overkill, surely? Perhaps a Tomahawk or two would do the job. The Russians won't stay long when they discover that a beer costs £7.00 :E

pintprice.com - The price of beer in Iceland (http://www.pintprice.com/region.php?/Iceland/GBP.htm)

[The Helpful Stacker]

No use a Trident.

Its not as if we want to live on Iceland, we already have a cold, wet and windy lump of rock in the South Atlantic. All we need to do is stop the Russians wanting to live there and it'll give the Navy something useful to do.

Of course if it can get them to leave the French Alps alone in winter holdfast on the Trident and let the Russians have the place.

[dallas]

It's all slowly unwinding for America, isn't it? I'm undecided as to whether this will be a good thing for the planet or not...

[BEagle]

I can assure you that there are some very good reasons to visit Iceland.......

Here are just 2:

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a341/nw969/shagsisdottir.jpg

I wouldn't mind seizing those assets!

..and don't forget that, in summer, there are only 2 hobbies in Iceland:

Fishing
F*cking


But in winter, there is no fishing.....:E

[uffington sb]

Yes but then there's Kerry Katona, or is that a different Iceland???

[Monty77]

And that mad cow Bjork.

Sounds like a hump back whale giving birth.

Google her, Beags, but for God's sake don't listen to any of her "work''.

It'll spook the horses.

If she looked like those two lovelies, then fine. But sadly she resembles an Inuit elder who's been running after busses too fast, trying to bite the tyres.

[The Helpful Stacker]

But sadly she resembles an Inuit elder who's been running after busses too fast, trying to bite the tyres.

Or as if someone had set fire to her face and then put it out with a shovel.

[BEagle]

No, that description belongs to the hideous 'Pang'. In contrast to whom, as befits a female whose name begins with BJ (:E), BJörk once had something about her:

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a341/nw969/Internet/BJ.jpg

Before she went weird:

In her teens, Björk was influenced by punk; at 14 she formed the all-girl punk band Spit and Snot, shortly followed by the jazz fusion group Exodus in 1979. In 1980 she graduated from music school. In 1981 she and bassist Jakob Magnússon formed another band called Jam-80, which later became Tappi Tíkarrass (which means "Cork the Bitch’s Arse" in Icelandic).

She sounds like a nice girl. The sort you'd take home to meet Mum?

Later, in 2002, one of her performance 'works' was described thus:

In a white bodysuit and with bleached eyebrows, Björk conjurs red translucent threads to shoot from her bosom and enwrap her in a cocoon, while she sings passionately about a newly found love.

Riiiiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttt........ :eek: :eek:

Humpback whales humping, more like!

[TheInquisitor]

But sadly she resembles an Inuit elder who's been running after busses too fast, trying to bite the tyres.
Monty, you owe me for the medical bills I have just incurred having my tits sewn back on. That is the funniest thing I have read in ages! :ok:

Seriously though, look at BEagle's pic above, then tell me you wouldn't?

[Monty77]

Seriously, no.

Having got you in the sack, she is probably capable of anything, like tying you up and suggesting the introduction of raw cods heads and sandpaper to 'liven things up'.

Far better a 2v1 with Beags's pair of lovelies.;)

[Double Zero]

May I be boring for a moment;

get the crumpet over here ' for safety's sake ' then just maintain the SOSUS net a la Red Storm Rising - shouldn't take much to keep the locals going, they seem to live on Bird Heads etc;

I knew an English couple who spent two years there - when they came back and I took them for a pub meal of Shepard's pie, veg & chips, they almost wet themselves with glee !!!

DZ

[tyne]

ATG to Iceland. NEO of the good lookers. Leave Bjork Ashore as a form of air warning siren. ATG makes for Clyde. V boat gets into position (Arun Trench close enough) Gas, steam doors open, things spinning, things get Airborne. Instant sunshine in Iceland - it must be dark there all day long by now so we're doing them a favour.. Back in time for beers in Hellenbrough. Bus the Good lookers down from Glenmallon when ATG ties up and the good lookers get chucked out of the wardroom/female stoker's mess.

Jobs a goodun..

[Melchett01]

Yes but then there's Kerry Katona, or is that a different Iceland???

Damn having only just read this thread, hardly surprising that someone already came up with that one.

That said, given the magnitude of their respective financial problems, I think it might be cheaper to bail out Iceland!

[Algy]

Tedious after all that I realise, but to answer Harrogate's original question - no, the Russians won't be getting Keflavik (http://www.flightglobal.com/blogs/unusual-attitude/2008/10/iceland-prime-minister-russian.html). Not yet anyway.

(Abba? Iceland?)

[harrogate]

Yeah.

Like Geir Haarde's in a position to bargain.

Ruskies will be there inside 3 years.

[fastener]

Björk-Yes please! As long as she didn't sing. A night in the sack with this lady would leave you crawling away from the smouldering wreckage (ala Pepe le Phew). You would be snapped off at the stem. Anyway I thought pilots would sh&g anything with a pulse.
Whats the difference between a pliot and a pig?
A pig won't stay up all night to F*ck a pilot!!
Us Engineers are far more choosy!!

[skua]

Re Keflavik, I don't think Pukin is known for gratuitous acts of largesse.......

[BEagle]

fastener, most certainly NOT, in my experience!

Engineers choosy - you must be having a laugh!

And as for Sillysod Sid, wrong group (those weren't Anni-Frid Lyngstad or Agnetha Fältskog in the photo) - and wrong country. As anyone with a pulse would know, ABBA was a Swedish group (although Anni-Frid was Norwegian, fathered by a married German officer during WW2).

Kids of today, mumble, dribble.......NURSE!!!

[BEagle]

Bjorn again are very good indeed, I'll certainly admit, Sid...:ok:

As for Anni-Frid and Agnetha, well, let's just say that the years haven't been very kind....:{

But Abba Gold is a simply brilliant album which still brings a twinge to the old bits....:ooh:

[The Helpful Stacker]

I saw Bjorn Again when they toured with the CSE Show a few years back.

Watching a load of 42 Commando dancing with each other to Abba tunes at R850 made the very thin blue line that was us watching crabs very nervous!:eek:

[Mister-T]

My Mum has gone to Iceland..................................................... .s :}

[CirrusF]

It starts to feel weird when a sports hall full of multinational squaddies, in particular the Italians and their exceedingly tight trousers, start to get jiggy with it to Dancing Queen.


Were the French Foreign Legion still there? They were always the best value to watch dancing with each other. They were under strict orders not to fraternise with the local Bosnian women in the PTT building. As soon as one got too close on the dance floor, they would move away and carry on dancing with each other.

[fastener]

S'funny Beags, as soon as you posted the picture of the Icelandic babes this thread perked up. Cue someone to post Ruskie babes for comparison.

[reds & greens]

Q. Whats the Capital of Iceland?

A. Currently about £3.50

[Algy]

Fastener, here you go (http://hectop.livejournal.com/680666.html#cutid1). Not quite sure what's going on - but I think the site-owner is lurking on Pprune somewhere. (Oh yes, and the girls might be Ukrainian???)

[Green Flash]

(Oh yes, and the girls might be Ukrainian???)

I surrender. Unreservedly.:\

[Monty77]

If you really want the low-down visit the Daily Mash website:

COUNCILS INVESTED £1BN IN TINY VOLCANO SURROUNDED BY FISH

LOCAL authorities across the UK were yesterday stunned to discover that Iceland is nothing more than a volcano surrounded by two million haddock.


As the volcano's banks refused to pay out, councils said they were convinced Iceland was a small, landlocked country next to Belgium with a long history of expert financial management.

But after 15 minutes on the internet they confirmed it was nothing more than a slab of stinking lava populated by a handful of wilfully eccentric musicians and half a dozen heavily bearded trawler captains.


Julian Cook, director of finance at the Local Government Association, said: "I meant Luxembourg - ****!

"I suppose the haddock-shaped piece of lava with every new account was probably a clue."

Mr Cook is now demanding £1bn of taxpayers' money in compensation for losing £1bn of taxpayers' money.

He added: "When the taxpayer is exposed in this way it is only right that central government should step in with its own funds, wherever they come from."

But the Treasury has so far refused, criticising the councils for investing huge amounts of public money in badly run banks.

Also, somebody is trying to sell Iceland on Ebay.

When asked for proof of ownership the reply was 'Fish'.:)

[BOAC]

AAAh! I'm STILL turned on by girls in uniform:ok:

[dallas]

Yeah.

Like Geir Haarde's in a position to bargain.

Ruskies will be there inside 3 years.
I'm with you Harrogate. What a very handy place to have for all manner of fcuking-around-with-NATO-type activities.

[Green Flash]

Putins boys are very good at playing the long game. They'll sit and wait and wait and wait a bit more until we fall asleep and then walk in and pinch the lot.

Bet the Spams wish they hadn't pulled out (not that you could blame them, given the circumstances of the time - hindsight is allways 20-20).

And I'm glad they kept places like Forss and we kept Saxa ..... ah ...... erm ...... bu£$er. Volunteers for Harry Staish at RAF Stornoway, any one?

Oh double bu£$er - with Ivan on the rock that's the SOSUS chain gone and he can send his attack boats into the pond at will. Lucky we still have a big Navy then .....

(I've got to lay off the Glen Ord after 11.00pm)

[Flyingblind]

If the current situation had been part of a novel..........goes to show truth is stranger than fiction.