Jeremy Kyle to work for pprune ?

[PompeyPaul]

Having seen some of the arguments on here I reckon we should resolve them on the Jeremy Kyle show. Rather than the usual underclass of scag heads and loosers we could get pilots on there and really thrash out those issues.

JeremyKyle: Hello and welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show, today, get this, we've got 2 pilots who can't decide on down wind check lists for students. I'd like to welcome llanfairpg to the show.
llanfairpg: Good moarnin Jeremy (got to have trash northern accent)
JeremyKyle: So llanfairpg, your an ex airline pilot, have several thousand hours behind you, is that right ?
llanfairpg: That's right Jeremay
JeremyKyle: Add recently you've had a discussion about downwind checks for students ? Why don't you tell us a little bit about that
llanfairpg: Well Jeremay, it's kwoit simpal. Taychin stooden's to check for onder carage dawn when in a non retractable is not tea chan the stoodent right and is dangerous because they are not mayn taynin a good look out
JeremyKyle: I see, and you want a lie detector test to prove this one way or another ?
llanfairpg: That's right jere may
JeremyKyle: Alright, there's two sides to every story so let's not judge until we've heard the other side, let's bring out Flap_80!

*crowd go mad, start booing*

*Flap_80 comes on stage and goes straight up to llanfairpg trying to throw punches*

Flap_80: You idiot, how many other's glaze other when you mention how many hours you've got,
JeremyKyle: (shouting) Sit down and shut up! I don't care who you are or what you have done, or what sex you are you don't come out on my stage and act like that, SECURITY!!!

*Security rushes up to push the 2 pilots apart*

After a discussion for a while (and some more fights and revelations and Jeremy Kyle taking sides), instead of psychotherapist Graham, a chap from the CAA could come out to decide one way or other. We could have a lie detector and also some sort of paternity test, maybe to see who owns what aircraft. :D

Does anyone else think that idea has wheels (or wings) ? We could sort out a load of questions on pprune, and it would certainly make interesting tv.

[llanfairpg]

Geat stuuf boot they are

PRE-LANDING CHECKS

PS Jeremy i stulll ams an aurline pilut unless u now something i dunt, sorry abot trashy northern accent.

PPPS Big Flaps like s to ave this under his postsin bold(from airline forum)

TOTAL HOURS 20,000 P1, JET 12,000 P1

[stickandrudderman]

:D:D:D
And you were saying I should write a book?
Actually I've no idea who Jeremy Kyle is but I presume he's some king of Jerry Springer character.
For a good laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQej27tSpY0

[llanfairpg]

But more importantly do you know who Pompous Paul is?

[SkyHawk-N]

But more importantly do you know who Pompous Paul is?
His name is Paul, he lives in a poor part of Surrey and has terrible taste when it comes to football? :E

[llanfairpg]

Oh, Paul Gascoigne

[S-Works]

Are airline pilot hours the same as the speeds of permit aircraft?

[llanfairpg]

There you are you see, now wasnt that easy?

[Pilot DAR]

Huh?

I started participating in PPRuNe thinkng that it was a forum for Professional Pilots. I did read the title. Isn't professionalizm to be displayed in both the airmanship, and personal conduct toward others?

Would someone please confirm that I am communicating with a group of people who behave professionally? It's getting hard to tell...

Pilot DAR, (not a professional, but trying to behave like one just to fool everybody)

[llanfairpg]

Apologies DAR but you see Pompus Paul is desperate to prove a point and he has gone to so much effort it is only fair to humour him.


Would someone please confirm that I am communicating with a group of people who behave professionally? It's getting hard to tell...

Dont all pilots behave professionally?

[PompeyPaul]

Apologies DAR but you see Pompus Paul is desperate to prove a point and he has gone to so much effort it is only fair to humour him.Sorry llanfairpg it's not you personally I'm poking fun at, you just happened to post in an argument I saw running over the pages of pprune recently.

I'm more trying to highlight the incessant bickering that this forum seems to create and the complete lack of tolerance that we have for each other.

[llanfairpg]

PP, Hey not at all, I am up for it--give it take it.

The best bit of the argument though was the bit you missed out.

Flaps 80 was trying to have ago at me because I stated that I had around 20,000 hours. He said that boasting about your hours was akin to boasting about the size of your wallet.

Now i am not boasting about my hours no more than I am boasting about my age, both are an unfortunate result of a process i had little control of!

On going back to the airline forum Flaps 80(oh and by the way ask yourself why anyone picks a name like that) I found this post below

Unfortunate experience for the gentleman involved but this day and age the opportunities for a maverick to buck the system are negligible in Civil aviation. May well have not been the case in a Tornado at 500kt and 100ft but I wish the adaptability that Pablo saw to enhance his survival in Iraq could have been brought over to Civil aviation. The FO,irrespective of his experience would have been feeling uncomfortable at this breach of Company procedures. How easy it would have been for Pablo,mindful of the PR advantages in flying the football team, to have sought approval prior to take of both with MYT and HIS CREW prior to taking such a Cavalier step. All this gunk about nervous pax needing to visit the F/deck just does not wash.
regards
Capt 20,000hrs P1 Jet 12,000

Since I accused him of being abit of a hypocrite i notice he hasnt posted on this part of the forum again!
Come on now Flaps 80. dont sulk, come back we all know you are important and fly a heavy.

There is one thing to get in context with hours by the way.

Most pilots with high hours(like myself) have spent a lifetime sitting in airways being spoon fed, its a piece of cake.
The pilots that impress me are the ones who can fly from the UK VFR to Spain etc with only a 100 or so hours--I wouldnt even know where to start a flight like that nowadays.

Keep the humour up!

[Will Hung]

Come on Rainboe, where are you ?

[Chuck Ellsworth]

TOTAL HOURS 20,000 P1, JET 12,000 P1

Does that mean you may have hand flown for around 8000 hours and watched the airplane fly its self for most of the following 12,000 hours? :E

I can't post my total time because I don't really know what it is. :{

[rogcal]

It's so obvious PP has never watched the JK show or he would have got it right.

It should have been something like this:

JeremyKyle: Hello and welcome to the Jeremy Kyle show, today, get this, we've got 2 pilots who can't decide on down wind check lists for students. I'd like to welcome llanfairpg to the show.

Llanfairpg: F... .ff you southern ba......!

*Flap_80 comes on stage and goes straight up to llanfairpg trying to throw punches*

Flap_80: What the f... ***************

Llanfairpg: Whenever you ******** ************

Lap_80: You what you ******************

Llanfairpg: Yo mama *******************

and so on and so on until JK brings on the next pathetic bunch of publicity seeking morons.

That's how the JK show really goes!

Anyone that could put together a sentence that consists of more than four words wouldn't get past the show's producers, so what hope of PP and Llan wotsit ever getting on there!

Better stick to the forum pages where "real people" can get a laugh from the cr.. that's sometimes written here.;)

Merry Christmas everyone.

[llanfairpg]

Think your mixing up the JK show with the one hosted by the black ex BA hostie!