What do you do during long haul flights?

[cameltoe2006]

I'm flying a320 and i find a 3-4 hour flight sometimes boring. Which leaves me wondering - how bout those flying the widebodies on long haul? Do you get bored as I do? What do you do up there to while your time away? Do you bring laptops with you? Magazines?.....

[Rainboe]

Journo alert! Beware what you say.

[TopBunk]

Well personally, I switch the lower EICAS or sometimes the Nav Display, to Channel 8 to watch a film, not forgetting to lower the volume of the nav radios, cos otherwise I find it difficult to concentrate on the dialogue in the film.

I don't let my co-pilot watch the same film of course, cos that would be silly, and of course if I use my nav display to watch the film, I make sure he uses his Primary Flight Display; to do otherwise would be stupid and result in poor flight path monitoring.

It does get boring however towards the end of some months when I find I've already watched all the films available, on those occasions I either go to First Class and sit down and watch a different film that they have on there or just put the seat back and get some kip and let my co-pilot watch the films ( I think that is what he does, but I have a suspicion that he also gets some sleep - it's difficult staying awake all night by yourself).

Toodle pip.

[Capn Bloggs]

All will be revealed when they put cameras in the FD...

[Carnage Matey!]

Pick my nose, flick bogeys at the skipper and drink tea.

[Tight Slot]

Make sure our nav is ok, GPS etc... every so often. then look forward to a coktail or two. Also next div airport, weather, fuel on board, coffee, it goes on... ETOPS div, weather, coffee... you get the point

[dartagnan]

can u really watch movies on your nav display, or it is a joke????

[Clarence Oveur]

can u really watch movies on your nav display, or it is a joke????

It was better on the CRT screens. Those newfangled LCD's aren't nearly as good. Mind you, as all movies are made to wide-screen format, the cockpit is not the best place to watch them.

In any case, I prefer to practice my tap dancing and then soak my feet afterwards. Sometimes, if I am lucky, a hostie will rub my feet.

[wileydog3]

I'm flying a320 and i find a 3-4 hour flight sometimes boring. Which leaves me wondering - how bout those flying the widebodies on long haul? Do you get bored as I do? What do you do up there to while your time away? Do you bring laptops with you? Magazines?.....

...same thing the other two guys do.. sleep.

[bwicker]

Haha; love it!

[Warlock2000]

Well, personally I'm not really into movies - more of a theater guy.

Once the service is finished down the back I like to dim the cockpit lights and get 2 (or sometimes 3) of the girls to put on a private show. Naturally to "keep it real" we play some retro porn tunes through the Bose surround cockpit speaker system.

In the mean time in the Captain's bunk (easily of equal comfort & standard as any 5 star Hilton or Sheraton), under soft lighting and relaxing music, the relief crew perpare for their impending arduous stint up at the sharp end by settling into a full body massage.

:D

[Rainboe]

Not only do you Airbus guys have a nice table in front of you to eat off, but they give you that pole at the back of the flight deck for the late night pole dancing display. Us Boeing bods are dead jealous of that, let me tell you. At least the bunk door stops them swinging all the way around the pole! So you lot haven't got everything.

As for the movies on the Nav display, it's not good enough. If you put them on letterbox fashion, the screen is only 3 cm deep, which means you are watching Cameron Diaz on a 70 line display. Do you find 16:9 better?

[alexban]

Well,our beancounters didn't buy the on screen movie option on the ND,so we had to buy ourselfs from Dubai and install in the cockpit the 7.5 inch DVD/Tv tuner ,in place of the EFB,which we won't use.Of course we use the cockpit AC outlets,and we also managed to get the sound through the cockpit speakers system.
We have a system delivered by B ,which decreeses the movie sound when we are called by ATC,by automatically recognizing the callsign we entered in FMC.
About lap dance,well the bus beat us on that with their table :uhoh:
I think I'll suggest to the bosses to do a custom design table to be put on the chair arm rest,maybe will do the trick..
You can see now the reason for some delays,or holding at arrival,due to the fact that the movie will autoswitch off at GS capture,and sometimes we arrive too soon,and the film it's not over yet.So..:E
And yes,weare expecting soon the FAA aproval for the new ,improved 7.1 sound system made by Honeywell...top of the art.:D

[DUB-GREG]

Laughing my ass of here!:D

[SMOC]

Our company has just taken the IGTW (Airbus) or TWLE (3rd party) mod on the Bus, that way you can follow up on the pole dance with a semi private lap dance, and we're facing the correct way which is what the company was worried about.

(IGTW - Increased more up Gross weight, pull out unfold Table Weight limitation restriction modification revision adjustment, or IMUGWPOUTWLRMRA)

(TWLE - Table Weight Limitation Enhancement).

alexban we also have the auto HOLD movie not over function.

[Rainboe]

Ha! There's a Boeing mod for rotating the pilots seats to face backwards. You Airbus guys don't have that!

Trouble is you are facing circuit breaker panels 6" away. They didn't think of that.

[cameltoe2006]

Ha hahar har har! Excellent posts! I am grinning as wide as my crack! You just gave me a brilliant idea how to make good use of the table instead of just eating food on it. :}

[Pittsle]

:ok:
We also have the modification of the aft-facing pilot seats on our B 737.
For table-dance it works pretty good if you put down the jump-seat without raising the back-rest. It gives her some more room to turn around.

[haughtney1]

I get the putter out...and practise my 15 footers down the aisle:ok:

Orrr

take ma shoes off and practise my crouching monkey....

Orrr

Sleep, fart.....sleep,fart etc etc:ok:

[Capt Fathom]

can u really watch movies on your nav display, or it is a joke????
Sky Channel, CNN, BBC.
Google Earth is also handy! :uhoh:

[ARINC]

Google Earth is also handy! :uhoh:

Airbus only for this mod, with it's own power supply of course.

[click]

We disconnect the monitors above the door and hook them up to our notebooks. My whole collection of Seka's best porn was digitillized and now I can usually get about 4 hours out of the battery. Mind you, the best place for the monitor is right in front of the engine gauges, that way we both have the same angle of view...other than that, for longer flights we have to tape over the fuel gauges so that the zeros don't flash too much and the youngest FA on the gen dec has to come over and join us in a game of spin the bottle.

[rubik101]

For amusement one dark and long night, many moons ago and for no apparent reason, I tried this little trick on my FO, just to pass the time you understand! Even now I don't know what made me think of it.
Pitch black outside, no moon, the lights all dimmed, the movies all finished and no pole, (this was on a Boeing) when the FO went for a leak. (This in the days long before calling any of the CC to hold his hand btw) I dragged my black plastic rain poncho out of my Nav bag (tropical destination and I'm no idiot), dimmed the lights even further and covered myself in the poncho. By squeezing myself as far to the left of the seat as possible and sliding down, I disappeared in the gloom. A few moments later he returned to the cockpit, paused in the doorway and returned to the cabin. I learned later that he went to the back galley and asked the cabin crew if they had seen the Captain come out of the cockpit. They of course, said no. Minutes later both the FO and the No 1 came to the cockpit, looked briefly inside and my dear young FO said to her, "What the **** do we do now?" She replied something to the effect of making a PA so I decided the joke had run its course. When I threw the poncho aside and reared up out of the seat, the FO made an unpleasant remark, a more unpleasant smell and never forgave me, even until this day!
It did manage to pass about ten minutes of a long and dreary night and got everyone's adrenalin pumping for a while so not an entirely pointless excercise I feel. Ah, happy days eh?
Now I rely on The Economist and Sodoku, once all the movies have been watched that is.;)

[cameltoe2006]

Har har har! I'm still laughing and i'm farting now! Pooot! Happy new year! :eek:

[TopBunk]

Ha hahar har har! I am grinning as wide as my crack!

and

Har har har! I'm still laughing and i'm farting now! Pooot!


the above two responses give rather too much information and a concern for your physical state:yuk::oh:

[airbus2boeing]

I count my money, the longer I stay up there the more money I make.

[JW411]

In the old Belfast days we used to get a bit of roof-panelling down from the roof above the galley, spread it across the (rather large) centre console and then have a four for bridge.

[Permafrost_ATPL]

We play the "Pull a CB" game. You stand next to the CB panel and spin around 10 times (with your eyes closed) then pull the first CB you can find. If the A/P disconnects, the guy in the other seat has to drink one finger. If the displays go dark, two fingers. If the cabin goes dark (known as "screamer"), three fingers. So much fun, we usually forget to watch the movies.

P

[Old Smokey]

Oh sheesh Permafrost, the year's only 1 day old and that's got to be the best one for 2007. You've got me laughing so much that I now have the cameltoe2006 syndrome :D

Regards,

Old Smokey

[ruddman]

I thought what I did during my pc flight sim long haul flight's were unrealistic - take-off, lnav,vnav then movies, mow lawns, wash cars, gym. Or take off at night, hit the a/p, then go to bed with my regular pee-stop in the middle of the night the time to climb to a higher flight level.


Hehehe.


Movies on the nav display, porn, saucy little minxes other wise known as F/A's pole dancing for you.


Bloody hell, do these airlines exist here in Australia? Because I wanna fly on one!




Didn't see one mention of the once great relaxing time passer.....the humble old book. To outdated now eh?

[Codger]

So looking forward to the new Airbus coming in to the fleet. All have been ordered with the XBox 360 option. As soon as assigned FL is reached the sidesticks become the controllers for the game machine and the screens all convert to game display mode. Hooks over the windscreen so that we can use the SLF blankets to block out the distracting light. Not sure if the multi-player live option was ordered so that the people at ATC can play along with us. Mortal Combat III should be good for killing off a few hours.

[AutoAbort]

On our 345:s doing 15 hour sectors we of course have all available options for the Xbox and the new PS3. As soon as you turn the window screen heating off, the flightdeck windows enter 3D holographic mode in 32 bit color with a 220 degree viewing angle for the ultimate gaming experience. And since the whole fleet is Wifi connected via satellite all the crews can participate in an enroute online tournament of Doom. Unfortunately for the guys resting in the bunk, who also are connected they can only join the game through their 32 inch HD LCD screens.
Wonder what the A380 will be like...


AutoAbort

[md-100]

I log on the internet, go to a chat room and date a girl from the destination airport, and tell her " you have 2 hours to get dressed and pick me up at the airport"":) :O

[awash]

I practice my yoga, take a nap, chat with the crew in the galley, chat with pax..read....


happy flying!!

[john_tullamarine]

.. guess that there is so much tech input in this thread that we can let it run for a day or two ...

[Old Smokey]

....or 3 ...... or 4? Please? :) (You never know, someone MIGHT come up with a serious answer)

Regards,

Old Smokey

[Bus429]

We've received an Engineering Order to delete the movie options for the cockpit. Easily done; just a few programme pin changes.

[mighluss]

hehehehe! you made my day guys.

I'm realising that in our accounts department, we can really do some of those things, but is all a hole different thing. None of our CEO's is in a hurry to know how much money have we lost this year...

Regards to all!

[whiskeyflyer]

what ever happened to the old game of see who can roll the aircraft at 1g without the sleeping pasengers knowing:eek:

[DEXY]

The 'PILOT RESPONSE' challenge is good.

If there has been no pilot interaction (i.e. Updating the heading bug or making a radio call) with the aircraft for about half an hour an EICAS 'Advisory' message appears. This is closely followed by an 'Alert' and finally by a 'Warning' accompanied by the relaxing tones of the Master Caution.

I haven't really mastered the game yet because it takes about 30 minutes to test each variable, but I can tell you that transmitting on the radio will stop the caution but simply retuning it won't. Likewise the 'LGHT OVRD' switch cancels it but adjusting the 'DOME' light has no effect.

I'm sure all the actions that cancel the warnings are written in the Boeing Owner's Manual somewhere, but these long-haul flights are such a bore that it gives me something to do whilst on HF.

[747dieseldude]

Read this post...

[Rainboe]

Dude- what post?

[Lemper]

This thread is soooooo good, I can't help joining the pack for a good howling.
I feel a bit shy though and ashamed to come and say the truth about my activities on a long haul flight, as they are really not half as funny as yours.
After the top of climb, I start by consciously analysing each and every one of the lower eicas pages, with a loooooog staring at the door page, until either a door open indication appears or the screen blanks on its own.
Then I take the paper work out of the hands of Nigel-amnida, and fill up thouroughly all the blanks, i.e. eta's FL's, fuels etc...TWICE. Then comes the tech log and the pilot reports, the latter requiring a lot of concentration and imagination. Two or three pages on this report will take me to one third of the cruise, and the satisfaction that it will ennoy terribly the chief pilots assistant who has to read it. Time for meal: ten minutes fiddling in the galleys, programming the ovens, choosing a drink in the fridge; that would p1$$ off Mrs Butterfly. After that, back to the paper work with a light humming sound till Nigel falls asleep. Adjust his head rest so he won't choke from his adam apple, switch off his receivers and dim his panel lights and I am ready for some fun.
First punch 23 spaces in his MCDU, so he will think it is bust when he wakes up and the plane is totally mine! Then add 20.000lbs in the ZFW, so he won't start climbing above the altitude I have decided to fly while I go sleep. Finally, move the destination approach plate of his route book in another place, so he will have to yield his sector's approach and landing.
Meal is ready, and as Nigel is still sleeping, I get all the ice cream for myself, and an excuse to keep the new Javanese trainee CC in the cockpit, for p1$$ed off Mrs.Butterfly won't talk to me for the rest of the trip; She has kimchi-garlic breath anyway. The Javanese CC's name is too long for this thread, so I'll call her Foossy. She has to stay in the cockpit as long as Nigel sleeps, for obvious safety reasons, and that will give me a chance to tell you that it is none of your business what we end up talking about. Nigel wakes up just in time for my rest time. I am not sleepy, so he can (has to) take second rest period, won't be able to sleep and will be knocked out for descent and approach. One out, one to go.
Senior Nigel-aseoo takes his seat and goes straight to sleep without any tricks on my part, as he took first rest period without being sleepy and spent 3and1/2 hours in first class, watching "Friends" three times (subtitles were in German) and a complete report on the sexual fantasies of Kim Jong Il. Foosy has to stay in the cockpit to keep me awake. Goes and get me some green tea, ice cream, hot towels and ends up giving me shoulder massage. Prelude to lay-over. Nigel-aseo wakes up for bladder call. Suggest I should request climb. Too heavy, we stay. Does not believe me and checks MCDU. Strange figures. Not a word. Goes to pee, comes back in his seat and falls asleep before his seat belt is locked. Foossy has left my shoulders and is now massaging more and more mildly my neck. Too much tail wind. Changes cost index from 150 to 60. Foossy has moved back to the CM3 seat. She does not wear those §#*$& support tights, but real genuine parisian suspenders. At the hotel, she will share the room with her class mate. She poo' gi'l. Boy fliend no goood wid he'. Need kind man. OK, Cost index back to 200 and hurry now.
Rest time for Sir. Sir will go sleep on a crow bar. No good for morale. Sir takes the FOM with him in the bunk coz he forgot his melatonine.
Slept like a log without tech stop. Mrs. Butterfly is in the flight deck keeping Nigel-aseoo and Nigel-amnida awake, all three smoking fermented menure, with the smoke evac vent full open. IMC inside the cockpit.
Taking back my seat, ZFW back to the initial one, and enjoying the one hour flight left to landing, well rested, alone, happy. Had no TV, no Nintendo, no e-mail from my wife to answer, no Pat-Pong floor show, but did I enjoy this flight!
How can you guys get bored on a long haul flight?
L
PS, all this is seriously true, except the part with Foossy suspenders: She wore self holding stockings.

[lesser weevil]

oh gosh, I wish I had an imagination! :ugh:

[ruddman]

Actually, what I REALLY do on long haul flights. Sad but true......



http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=254819&highlight=long+haul+flights

[Rainboe]

That's.....er....really nice, but I think the question was aimed at pilots! Not SLF issues.

[Chrome]

It's the notebook for me.

Half of it practising my approach at destination airport with MS Flt Sim. The other half on Adultfriendfinder.

[capt.]

wow, you guys sound like you have a lot of fun!!

cant wait to fly the big jets!!

[Rainboe]

Capt.- learn to distinguish reality from wishful thinking! There are some fibbing toads on this bulletin board, and I'm one!

[Lemper]

Not me!
Long haul flying is a serious business!

[capt.]

haha, k then, your funny fibbing toads x

[ruddman]

That's.....er....really nice, but I think the question was aimed at pilots! Not SLF issues.


That's GLSLF thanks. Good Looking Self Loading Freight. But what can I say....:cool:

[ElNino]

Google Earth is also handy!

Not merely handy, but absolutely necessary. How else is one supposed to find the runway? Though I dunno what I'm going to do the day the internet connection fails at TOD :}

[FakePilot]

Do you have test buttons that go beep? Kinda like the fire bell test? Could you tap out tunes with it?

[FullWings]

...First punch 23 spaces in his MCDU, so he will think it is bust when he wakes up and the plane is totally mine! Then add 20.000lbs in the ZFW, so he won't start climbing above the altitude I have decided to fly while I go sleep. Finally, move the destination approach plate of his route book in another place, so he will have to yield his sector's approach and landing...
Love it! I narrowly avoided spraying tea over my laptop while reading your post. Classic! :ok:

[pulse1]

Of course you can also help to relieve the boredom for us SLF as well by announcing, in your best Pythonesque captain's voice, "There is absolutely no cause for alarm".

[john_tullamarine]

Old Smokey - (You never know, someone MIGHT come up with a serious answer)

.. I suspected that that would be unlikely ...


Rainboe - There are some fibbing toads on this bulletin board


.. unless this passes muster ?

[Rainboe]

It says 'moderator' under thy name lad.....how do I know you're really one?


(Sound in the background of '7 day ban' button being pressed!)

[john_tullamarine]

.. aaah, Neddy .... and the disguise was performing so wonderfully well ..

... exits stage left, muttering curiously to self whilst checking that fundamentals are all present and accounted for ...

[PAXboy]

Clarence OveurThose newfangled LCD's aren't nearly as good. Mind you, as all movies are made to wide-screen format, the cockpit is not the best place to watch them.
PRESS RELEASE from Airbus Retro Systems Engineering
We are glad to announce that the HUD interface adapter for the IFE is now available. This will project the movie across the two main windows and, for IMAX, the side screens as well.

The main advantage of showing the movie on all four screens is best appreciated with the polariser option. This ensures that the newly installed mgmt video camera cannot see the movie. What will be seen is both pilots continually looking around them and 'observing' out of the four screens. Occasionally, one of them will point out a feature to their colleague and it will be assumed that the feature is traffic or CB when it is actually CD or DC (Cameron Diaz or Daniel Craig, depending on the nature of the crew operating the sector).

[error_401]

Long-haul flights in other aircraft.

ATR 72. Cargo.
2:15 legs - done some ferries with the pax version ATR42 6:45 and plus. Activities:
CARGO: Once in cruise get the box out from behind F/O seat. Put on pedestal after making sure a towel box is in place so the box does not touch the switches. ATC volume to max - headsets off. Light up the chart light on the yoke and fix a large paper towel on the chart holder. Fix the other end with your tie clip to your shirt.
Then start unpacking the box. Top layer fresh bread from bakery next to the hotel. Next layer the fresh very thin cut italian Mortadella and "real" salami - mmmmhhh.
Bottom layer the drinks - Mineral water and orange juice of course!
Spend the next hour or so eating and chatting. Maybe answer "one" ATC call. Then pack the drinks back into the box. Use one sick bag as trash bag. Clean up. Refreshing towels, and back to work. Briefing etc. before TOD.
PAX version:
Is day flights most of the time. Take pictures. Cockpit, Captain napping, F/A standing in the door with puzzled look. FL 250 at 180 kt IAS and 330 kt GS (which is about 60 kt tailwind in an ATR and as high as you can get :) ) Recheck the limitation of FL 250 in the AFM. Trigger the anti-skid test with the single gong and some blinking to wake the boss. Makes always for some confused looks :}
Fuel checks, Nav checks, Com checks. Try to rise some guys in the big jets flying above to use as relays in remote areas. Daydream of having a table in front of you instead of the yoke which would make for more comfortable reading. Have a look at weather radar. Watch the sunset/rise, stargazing.

[Rainboe]

Surely you have a bucket of oysters, and a Chablis packed in ice? We do.

[AHRS]

ITS ONE THING TO KEEP THE ATMOSPHERE IN THE COCKPIT AMENABLE...its quite another to fart away the time and indulge in the kind of non sense that has been depicted in these postings..there must be an element of truth in it i suspect, i dont think they are entirely joking!I know of a situ where the capt went to sit his poterior in First Class indulging inrevenue service amenities while the cockpit door was locked on a quiet night between Jo-burg and D-ars-alaam; George was dutifully engaged and behaving pristinely....and dutiflly abiding to the definition of Cock-pit...the F.O. was having "his own" pampered along and getting a fully fledged pneumatic9or shall i say hydro-pneumatically) thrusts by one of the hornier cabin screws...it unbelievably happenned!

I resent you guys who piss about such valuable quiet and blessed time(for it is problem free aint it??) where you can discuss CRM case histories or go through sim session debriefings or consult the ops manuals..or etc and always monitoring the flight path ahead and below you always keeping a running picture of what you would exactly do should the stinking stuff hit the fan blades.I am disappointed because some of us love flying but inspite of all the investments in time,effort, and money we have sacrificed to develop this career we still are at the behest of getting a break and are in the meanwhile dreaming flying through no faults of our own and having to resort to MSFS and the occasional stint on a real sim to keep our passion and professional focus going.
NEXT TIME YOU FEEL BORED...JUST THINK OF THAT POOR CHAP AWAITING EAGERLY IF NOT DESPERATELY TO GET HIS/HER NEXT OPPORTUNITY TO SIT IN A COCKPIT AND MANIPULATE THE CONTROLS AMONGST A PROFESSIONAL CADRE TO GET AIRBORNE EVEN AT SOME NON GLAMOROUS AIRFIELD..JUST PAUSE FOR A MOMENT AND THANK HEAVENS THAT YOU ARE THERE PRIVILEDGED TO CONTINUE DOING THAT..I USED TO TAKE SUCH QUIET CRUISE MOMENTS AND HUMBLY OFFER THANKS FOR BEING UP THERE..EVEN IF ON AUTOPILOTAND EVEN IF THE OTHER PILOT WAS A STINKING AHRS-HALL!

Pilots get paid far better than the average professional in any country you might consider to compare...I am sure it is not for the skil of farting around,browse magz,your note books or to get jerked off...that blow job could turn into an unprepared blow out should justice get its way!

Lets keep it professional...all professions are goverened by ethics and ours...if we dare call it one, shouldn't be allowed to degenerate.Society look up on us as though we carry magic about us.Lets keep it that way I suggest.

http://www.pprune.org/forums/images/icons/mpangel.gif

I'm flying a320 and i find a 3-4 hour flight sometimes boring. Which leaves me wondering - how bout those flying the widebodies on long haul? Do you get bored as I do? What do you do up there to while your time away? Do you bring laptops with you? Magazines?.....

[Lemper]

Oh My, Oh My!
May I suggest a massive dose of Vitamin B complex (1 to 12), in a salad of Prozac and Panadol? Do not be stingy on the Prozac hey!

[L337]

I like to play the "screwdriver" game.

What you do is each person takes turns in removing a screw from the overhead panel. Any screw will do. You lose when the first engine stops.

My record is 72 screws before an engine stopped.

[whiskeyflyer]

My UAV got no cockpit

Ok time to go and feed the monkey at the terminal, got stuff to bomb (damn monkey typed in Somalia instead of Southend)

[Transition Layer]

The 'PILOT RESPONSE' challenge is good.

Ah yes, we like to call it "PILOT RESPONSE ROULETTE". To see which switches or buttons u can push without cancelling the message, great fun! Particularly on those long Pacific flights which dont have any radio calls and datalink is doing its thing!

I also like to see how many spins of the nosewheel tiller I can get in one go. Pisses the other bloke off a bit though!

All good fun!

[eman_resu]

As SLF, I may never sleep on a long haul again...
Well, unless the CC stops serving wine anyway :)

[777AV8R]

:) Great post gang. I'm not sure if there are any 737-200s flying today but here is a fun thing for the guys on 737s to try. When I flew the 200s, there was a nice eyeball vent near each side window. This is a very useful device. Before the days of 9-11, we used to do magic tricks with this vent. To wit: Extract a spare lightbulb that is of some size...the one used for the overhead map light works nicely...now..open the 'eyeball vent' full bore...you might have to turn on the gasper fan, if you've had it turned off...I used to turn the thing off and on to annoy the biscuit pushers...anyways...take the light bulb and hold it about 3 inches from the center of the eyball vent IN the stream of air...now...slowly let go of the bulb. The rest is magic!!!! I won't tell you what happens..but my record is 5 hours until I hit some turbulance...darn...and it impressed the heck out of some of the 'dollies' that used to come up and ask dumb questions.
I have not had the same luck with the 777 though...not enough airflow going through that vent...I suggest someone come up with a mod for that.
The camera function on the -300 serves as a great interface for my iPod with video..I've found that I can stream podcasts quite nicely, now that I've been among the first to receive the new iTV from Apple. The resolution is excellent. Boeing had it right when they upgraded the LCDs a few years ago. The black contrast makes watching trailers and some of those old favourite 'Debbie does XXXX' movies' a real treat while ploughing through the rock and roll on the NOPAC route. Its a real blessing that we don't have to interrupt movies and extracurricular activites to send position reports. ADS is great, isn't it?

[fmgc]

We have had our Sony Playstation plugs adapted for the Nintendo Wii.

Unofortunatley the AAIB are now involved, we have had some Wii controllers put through ECAM displays, Captains inadvertantly smacked round the head with a controller and lots of FOs off sick due to RSI of the shoulder and elbow.:ugh:

[pasty boy]

My own personal favouritites on the bus are:
Cockpit Jenga, similar to one previously mentioned, using the overhead panel, take it in turns switching something off until the other guy bottles it and feels the need to switch it all back on!
Battleships: Really good one for mid pond, using the MCDU and the waypoint function. Pilot 1 enters a waypoint (place bearing dist) from a random wpt apearing on screen. this he calls TARGET. pilot 2 using a different wpt, then has to take a series of shots at the target again using the PBD wpt function. This is usually good for half an hour or until you fill the database up with meaningless wpts.
Also knew a guy who dedicated his life into seeing how quickly he could get the girls to reveal information on how they were waxed (you know the thing R/W strip, hollywood etc) you'd be surprised:eek:

[Lemper]

[QUOTE=777AV8R;3068661]:)

Yep, worked fine on all the -200. We wiw some contest on the flight deck with that trick: reduce the vent opening slowly and carefully to lower and then lift the bulb; another one, tricky though, was to turn the gasper fan on and off quickly enough to "dip" the bulb without letting it fall down.

[Captain Greaser]

Depends what airline your in. When I flew long haul I have to say most the crews were fairly laid back.
A Sony PSB and Ipod were certainly must have items for entertainment.
If you got bored with that there was an endless supply of porno mags in the back.
I don't know what would have happend to us and the aircfaft if the plane was searched by the "religous police" during our many transits through Dubai!!!!!!!!!!

[777AV8R]

[QUOTE=777AV8R;3068661]:)
Yep, worked fine on all the -200. We wiw some contest on the flight deck with that trick: reduce the vent opening slowly and carefully to lower and then lift the bulb; another one, tricky though, was to turn the gasper fan on and off quickly enough to "dip" the bulb without letting it fall down.
Hey Lemper..cycling the gasper off and on is a grrrreat idea! BTW..I tried this magical feat on my 777 today:* the outlet doesn't provide enough airflow. Setting this task up was kind of fun though. My F/O, who doesn't understand these finer points of flight, couldn't figure out what I was doing and actually asked me if I was trying to install a lightbulb in there. Actually, come to think of it, it would be a great place for a second map light...

[john_tullamarine]

.. doesn't everyone put a light in the gasper ? .. so that you can find the gasper for adjustment at 0-dark-30 without waking up your colleague ?

[Shanwick Shanwick]

If you fly Turboprops try this at night........

With the cockpit lights off, stick your forehead hard against the coaming and stare at the efis..................

It'll amuse you both for hours.

Doesn't work on jets.

[AAIGUY]

I also like to see how many spins of the nosewheel tiller I can get in one go. Pisses the other bloke off a bit though!
All good fun!


THAT'S OUR GAME> Since its hard to count (and effort) we just time it..

[clicker]

Have visited a cockpit where one Captain was using the ACARS to play strip poker with another Capt in another aircraft. Game must have been going on for a while as he was only wearing his socks.

[Lemper]

Just coming back from the end of the Middle Empire, and got myself re-pressed (after the depression caused by 'Rumours & News' posts), in getting up to date on this thread. Jaw pain and tears of laughter.
One very entertaining one we had on my last trip was the "Who sleeps with whom in the company" gossip, followed by "How would it be if Thisone slept with Thatone" Hilarious! It got nearly out of end when the third wheel of the barrow forsaked a good part of his rest time to participate, and I nearly missed my rest time!
Luckily, there was no member of the FFF(*) on board!


(*) Female Flying Fomunity

[Clandestino]

If you fly Turboprops try this at night........
With the cockpit lights off, stick your forehead hard against the coaming and stare at the efis..................
It'll amuse you both for hours.
Doesn't work on jets.

And I tought I was the only one that ever tried sticking the forehead against the coaming! :}

It works best with HT-1000 GNSS MCDU screen and 77% Np on four-bladed ATR :ok:

[Stuck_in_an_ATR]

Tried it out and nathing happened. What did I do wrong? :}

[fmgc]

Imagine what Pprune will be like when Wireless internet access becomes mainstream on board aircraft.

Do you think that us lot up the front will get free access?

[Clandestino]

Tried it out and nathing happened. What did I do wrong? :}

Perhaps you fly -500? They don´t shake like ye olde 42-300 and 72-200 :}

[Fropilot]

If you fly Turboprops try this at night........
With the cockpit lights off, stick your forehead hard against the coaming and stare at the efis..................
It'll amuse you both for hours.
Doesn't work on jets.

It would be helpful to get proper propeller balancing from your maintenance.

[ShyTorque]

Not long haul, but many too sectors in one day. I woke up once and mistakenly thought I was flying a cadet on an air experience flight. As I often did on those flights, I switched on the intercom and said "If you just tighten up your seat harness now, I'll begin my aerobatics sequence with a slow roll, followed by a loop".
The loud screaming from the passengers, who were halfway through their picnic lunch, reminded me I was flying the helicopter today.

[Stall-turn-Go]

Fantastic ShyTorque! :O

[Whaledog]

Long haul flying is hard stressful work. In order to reduce lost time pay and other health cost items. Our company’s health plan provider insisted that a full gym be installed in the unused upper deck area, right after the king sized crew rest beds and behind the showers. Its ok, but the other day, the Fe had to hit the fo with the axe, ( I told the fo not the touch anything while I was gone := ) (God bless PFE’s they keep those young hotshots in line):D the FO’s head hit the yoke. I was on the treadmill and the little business of a few negative gee’s followed by a hard pull up, caused me to fall against the edge of the plasma TV stand, got a nice bruise on my leg. I had to spend extra time in the hot tub before going back up to work. Over all long haul is fun work. The hard part is knowing the date and time.

[Rush2112]

I'm only SLF and get to fly a couple of times a year long haul, mostly short haul around SE Asia (Jakarta this afternoon in fact) and I have often wondered what the crew does in the wee dark hours...

My office colleagues are equally wondering now what on earth I am doing weeping with laughter in company time(!)

Excellent stuff guys. :ok:

[BANANASBANANAS]

Space invaders on the EFIS was always good for a few minutes fun.

Rules:

Capt & F/O each select 320 mile scale on map and each select a beacon/wpt/A/F etc on the Fix page which appears on their maps - preferably at opposite ends of the map. Capt gets Fix page 1, F/O gets Fix page 2.

Object of the exercise: Produce a radial from your fix which "wipes out" the other guys fix.

"Hyperspacing" (selecting a fix off the map) is allowed for 30 seconds but must be followed by selection of another "on map" fix. I once got lucky here and manged to zap the other guy from "off map."

Gets a bit boring after 5 minutes but thats another 40 miles closer to the little green doughnut at TOD.:ok:

[Jazbag]

we have massage chairs! I wish

[enicalyth]

Guys!
How refreshing it all sounds! In my father's day long haul really was long haul and all the hosties had to be trained nurses in case of emergency. Not only might a child be conceived en-route but birthed as well. Much the same on an A340-500 today.
On my old outfit the Taiwanese were hairdressers in their spare time. I asked once for a full wash, cut and blow dry but she said I had to be Joe King for that sort of service. Even though I offered to pay.
Funny thing about software writers, they always embed games that are accessible by pressing and holding down unusual combinations of buttons. I don't know about space invaders or pacman but I once got Rat Man out pretty quickly but I never found the knack of resetting it. Had to get a ground engineer to do it. He said if I was going to play Silly Beggars that I should hold down ATHR for 15 seconds before pressing anything else and I wouldn't get bored for the rest of the flight.
Try it sometime. Never too old to learn.

[PatagoniK]

As I fly an old airplane I can't see movies on my inercial display (the only digital stuff on it), so I spend the time talking about with the other members of the cockpit, as we are at least three up there. Otherwise you can read or just loof for clouds that are not actually islands on the middle of the ocean!!

Have fun.

[FullWings]

I remember flying across the North Sea late one evening at the end of a long week in the good 'ol Scud (737-200). I was particularly tired/bored so after gazing into space for a bit I transferred my attention to the instrument panel.

Those who are familiar with this type will recall that the ADI had a little push button next to it that fed a fixed displacement signal into the horizon so you could check it before you took off - it was something like 10degs down 15degs right (can't remember exactly). We had been flying S&L for about half an hour and something possessed me in my dream-state to 'test' the ADI with the button.

Unfortunately, the autopilot was in and slaved to my side, so on activating the test, the aircraft immediately tried to take up the attitude displayed, which woke me up pretty quickly (and everyone else onboard :ooh: ). No injuries, so I got away with it... :O

[dudduddud]

reading braille and asking where we are.

[Lemper]

Hi Bananasbananas,

Space Invader was very hard to play while flying in the PACOTS, but over Siberia, there are some variants that will keep you occupied for a while, one of them here after:
CM1 And CM2 each choose a wpt/sta/arpt/fix on his side of the magenta track, then they shoot each in turn at a letter of the TO waypoint. The entire name has to be out before the waypoint symbol can be aimed at, and the winner is the one who wipes it before it vanishes at the bottom of the NAV display.
For the ones in solitary confinement in the Far Eastern Morning Calm, there is the one that consist of discretely typing ONE space in Effonida's MCDU, and then time him until he finds out while trying to insert his thingies in it. Watching his face in the process will keep you entertained for the rest of the cruise.

[Henry VIII]

Usually I trim the feet nails :hmm:

[Golden Parrot]

...Now that you remind me Henry, had an effo who used to trim his toenails using what looked like a pair of wirecutters. He usually managed to ricochet the cut nail off three panels/windows. Learnt to keep my hand over my cup of coffee after the trajectory of one came dangerously close to splashdown.

[Henry VIII]

Golden Parrot/Learnt to keep my hand over my cup of coffee after the trajectory of one came dangerously close to splashdown.Yeah, that's what's called EXPERIENCE :ok:

[vaninnam]

But please remember their is a weight limitation on the Airbus table when folded out completely.You can add 25 % when it is folded one step back.Any idea on the limitation as I cant find it on my FCOM ?
come visit
greetings
vaninnam

[Lemper]

Here is an idea!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh_shsRfXqk&NR

[Hamid_27]

hahahaha:eek: , cool Video, nice one Lemper.:ok:

[gearpins]

personally I enjoy a game of chess.keeps the mind alert and occupied (both of which are required).

[rubik101]

This takes a bit of anticipation and will amuse you for a few minutes. Work out the lat and long of the point directly opposite you on the other side of the world. Enter it on the legs page and then , as you overfly your selected position, hit direct to XYZ, hit enter and watch what the aircraft tries to do! It has 360 options if you get it right and does the most unexpected things!
(maybe you need to deselect LNAV before you do it!)
Good luck and happy landings.

[DanAir1-11]

What do I do? Dear chap, there is no time for contemplating one's navel, or for engaging in 'non-pertinent' discourse, or even to study the form...... far too busy sleeping old boy. GPWS and TCAS are both amply loud enough to disturb even the deepest of slumbers, and there's always reliable old George.

[Engineer]

What is an EFIS? :bored:

On the freighter wander down the back to talk with the freight You get a better conversation then with the two people sitting in front and for some reason it never argues with you :D

[s artois]

Once my oppo is asleep I enjoy hitting the fire test push button. Always gives me a chuckle!:p