Thick passenger comments

[SnoggingTarmac]

Have to add my appreciation for BA CC in particular, as we're doing it here. I was trapped on the tarmac at Basel for three hours due to the pre-Christmas fog - and that was three hours less than most of the other SLF and CC had already been there.

Crew were brilliant throughout, despite one gob-on-legs up the back, shouting the odds about needing alcohol. He was handled with grace and had a darn sight more care than he deserved.

Cheers to all, wherever you are - you must've been knackered by the end of that day but you made a nervous flyer a whole lot more comfortable.


P.S. I confess. I cannot work the toilet doors first time. And I never hear whether I'm being asked if I want tea or coffee and always have to ask CC to repeat themselves. Mea culpa! Please forgive me. But also please keep adding to this thread. It's nice to know I'm not alone in being a dingbat and at least I'm not as bad as some.

[Brasilian Bird]

Just the other day had one of the girls down the back explaining to a pax that a particular lav door was a bit stiff and you really ahd to pull on the door

"Door's a bit stiff, you have to really pull on it.."

"Give it a good pull" she says...

Pax PUSHES on door again

"No, PULL it"

Pax pushes door again

"Pull it OUTWARDS!!!!" says CC, trying not to laugh as other pax standing around are rolling their eyes

(and yes, the said pax DID speak English!!) :}

[Foss]

I love the people who ask where they're sitting. Then stand in the doorway holding everyone while some poor girl in a uniform is getting rained on and very cold.
'Why don't you READ the TICKET, it says where you're sitting. Are you that simple. Like for God's sake.'

But you have to keep that to yourself and stand there. Getting rained on. :ugh:
Fos

[blackace]

Foss. That's fine if the aircraft only has one isle.

recently me and my family of 5 with tickets A,B D,E and F on a bus were told we have a complete row all to ourselves so we can go down either isle.

seeing the near isle was crammed with passengers boarding I took my family down the far isle.

Only to be confronted with having to clamber over the passenger in seat G and across the other isle to get our kids into seats A and B.

I don't usually like asking which way to go as I am usually fine at finding my own way, but have you ever tried not showing your stub to the CC, its almost compulsory. The least you can expect is to be told the right way to go once you do show it. After all, the CC should know the seating plan far better than the Pax who most times don't know or even care what kind of aircraft they are boarding.

I got my own back though, once I saw which isle he was working I got my wife to page him and tell him "my husband would like a word with you, he's sitting over there". When he arrived I thanked him for his previous advice and informed him where he had made a mistake, and I hoped his trip around the isles had been less frustrating than my families had been earlier. :)

[Getoutofmygalley]

Actually blackace, showing a boarding card stub IS compulsory so you should always have them readily available when boarding.

And I would say that was rather petty getting your own back on the crew member by making them walk around the aisle to speak to you. I would have been rather annoyed if I was that crew member, especially as from the information provided YOU chose to go down the alternative aisle forcing YOURSELF and your family to have to clamber over the pax is seat G :ugh: :=

[Foss]

What I was trying to say Blacklace was that most of the flights here are pretty small aircraft, and we have pretty tight security, so everything is checked and re-checked and some guy doesn't know where to sit even though it's on his ticket, circled in felt tip, which he's put in a pocket in the 30 seconds it takes him to leave a terminal and get to the plane/aircraft.
That was all.
Fos;)

[gflynorw]

I do love my job, but sometimes it amazes you as to why some people survive in this world being as they are!

I'm quite a young senior crew member, and sometimes, people who are older hate being asked to do something by a crew member, it's not like I'm on a power trip or anything - I'm just doing my job!
Hand Baggage - Can people not think if they cram loads of hand bags between their seats they are not going to block people in in the event of an emergency? And when asked by crew to clear the floor space, they mutter under their breath.
Running out of Food - Do people think we have unlimited space with 2 sandwiches for each passenger so we can give them their first choice? Oh yes, I forgot, we have a Tesco supermarket in the hold
Mess - Some people come on board and leave a right mess, I would love to get their addresses and trample crisps into their carpets, leave chewing gum on their leather sofas, and draw all over their tables!
Boarding passes - it's a requirement for us to check the stubs, why do people persist in shouting their seat number out? I don't :mad: care where you are sitting, I need to see your pass to ensure your right on the aircraft.
Manners - What happened to please and thank you? And when someone asks you 'Would you like something from the bar?" A grunt and a dirty look is a not a polite reply.
The fasten seat belt sign is simple - fasten your seatbelt. It means stay seated, it means your child should stay seated. There, rant over, feel better now!

[blackace]

GetoutofmyGalley.

Sorry you read me wrong.

I was TOLD by the attendant that I could go down the other isle, so I made the decision to do so, I had not asked. As it turned out It should have been obvious to him that with a family of 5 (I was carrying all the stubs and he checked every one) doing so would have been awkward and indeed it was.

But to be honest with you, thinking about it, I think as the near isle was already crammed with boarding passengers his main concern was clearing the doorway, so if that was the case I stand corrected.

I didnt rip him off either, I had a little joke with him and he saw my point of view and the funny side, he wasn't the least bit annoyed and even joked "touche" when he realised I got my own back. :)

[misshostie]

Yes I had one passenger write a letter to our administration department asking what the weather was going to be like for their flight in two weeks!

[panda-k-bear]

As those FF with KL CityHopper know, there is a certain tradition - "Cheese or Ham, sir?" It has been that way for decades.

A few months ago, I was on a flight where the cc came around with the sandwiches - cheese or turkey!

The look on her face was priceless when I said I wanted ham... with a wink, of course. Force of habit, y'see.

Well I chuckled, anyway (and so did she!)

[SkySista]

I think what Blackace meant was that the crew member gave the impression they owuld have the middle section (between the two aisles) to themselves, hence it not making a difference where he went... it would have ben lcearer if the crew member had said they had a whole row ACROSS the aisles for the family, but would need some to go left and some to go right, depending on where they are sitting....

ANYWAY... when I see pax with babies, small kids, large families etc, I always try to give as clear directions to their seat as possible... the extra few seconds taken to explain saves SOOOO much time trying to round up errant pax who have gone the wrong way :D

[sang]

On a very long flt LAX to MEL i was serving breakfast
ME: Would u like the continental breakfast or mixed grill ?
PAX to her husband BOB BOB they have mixed Squirrel!
Being very hypoxic at this stage of flt...i gave then their Mixed Squirrel.... they were over the moon, i am sure that they would have thought they were experiencing a typical Australian breakfast.
Another flt....MEL to LAX i was making small talk to a couple of PAX. I asked them what part of Australia they enjoyed the best....they said they loved Aukland. I refuse to correct them when they are that stupid.
Gotta love the middle aged american pax. :ugh:

[GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU]

Gotta love the middle aged american pax. If that's on your "must do" list, I bet he's really looking forward to it!

[johnezy]

i did a flight to Nice and when we landed a pax asked me where we were?!? i said Nice and he said are you sure? i really had to try and stop myself laughing. I informed him that we were definatley in Nice and was that where he wanted to go, he said yes but i didn't look like Nice to him!!! weird!!:)

[Runaway Gun]

Was it a pax or one of the guys up in the front seats? ;)

[whatzmyname]

I had a female pax asking me to ask the captain to lower the engine noise as it is disrupting her sleep! This has happened twice to me. Both were female pax. Do people think before talking:oh: ? That engine is what keeps you up there darling!:hmm:

[SouBE]

Im starting training for CC in a couple of months, can't wait to be back in the land of the mad and the sad!!

I used to work for a cross channel ferry company and we used to keep a Loony Log at reception where we recorded the classics of the day; the crew used to love reading it.

PAX "How long is the crossing?"
ME "Five and a half hours sir"
PAX "Is that in English or French time?"

Der....

We used to have a cinema on board and showed recently released films but they were in English with no subtitles. One day a French guy came to the desk and asked in very broken English....

PAX "What films you show today?"
ME "Rob Roy and 101 Dalmations" [shows how long ago this was!]
PAX [clearly not understanding] "Er...en Francais?"
ME "Rob Roy et cent et un dalmations" [hardly any different from English]
PAX "OK Merci!"

Bless!

These threads have just reminded me of what Im going to have to look forward to...I cant wait!!!

[NewZealand2]

on a LAX flight...

PAX "I can't hear my movie"
F/a "You don't have your headphones on"
PAX "Oh, thanks"

:ugh:

[umzy]

Posted in Nokia Speak

[Ace Rimmer]

OK dumb comments...was travelling home from Grandma Rimmer's funeral a few years back the route was a short hop fron one side of Houston to the t'other EFD-IAH then onwards back to blighty. The first leg was being operated using an ATR42 (not that important).
The weather was interesting we are talking uber Texas size summer super cell - I mean this system was 'kin HUGE. Had looked at the weather report before setting off and the weather radar was painting red over the entire area...
Anyway the 'terminal' at Ellington is (was) basically a portacabin and staffed on the this particular day by a lone and very young lady - no joke it being a Saturday this kid was probably still at high school or a most just started college....
Along comes this woman pax...New Yorker with a "I'm very busy and extremly important" attitude (you've seen the type) who on hearing about the wx related delay (now to get the full flavour of the situation you have to remember that at this point the sound of rain/hail on the roof is making normal conversation difficult and the wind gusts are making the whole terminal/porta cabin affair wobble and creak) just absolutely rips into this poor check in kid...mean really rips within minutes the kid is in tears...
Well standing nearby (everywhere is nearby in this building) I think 'well this is a bit unfair'
Up I step... "May I be of some assistance?" kid looks up, eyes wet with tears
I turn the the gorgon pax and enquire mildy "Do you know much about aviation?"
I then explain that given the current weather (which she may have noticed) it would be folly to attempt any kind of aviation and furthermore given the size of the storm I suspected that nothing much would be moving up at Bush either so she most likey wouldn't miss the connection and in anycase there are loads of flights between Bush an Newark so why worry etc...
Well the gorgon isn't having that and starts to wind up again....(at this point my sense of humour begins to fail...just been to a funeral etc etc)
So I fix her with my hardest stare...one I learnt from Grandma Rimmer actually (Aunty Rimmer who was there reckoned it was exactly like G'ma's)
"Madam two things I was taught as spotty sprog pilot ...1) it is better to be 30 minutes late in this world than 30 years early in the next and 2) Do not fly your aeroplane into a thunderstorm....it £ucks your plane and then YOU DIE!!!" Now you may have a death wish but I'm sure those people don't (indicating other pax) and what is more if those two (indicating flight crew sitting on a/c even comteplated flying right now they would be in danger of losing their medicals - for being clincally insane. Finally none of this (indicating check-in agent) is her fault...I suggest you sit down and shut up"

Dragon defeated and ripple of applause from other pax...

Just can't abide bullies...stupid bullies are worse...

[Randomtox]

Ace Rimmer..

Damn I wish I could have seen that !

Awesome !

[Cabinstar]

When I was working or BMI this gave me a good laugh:



Pax: Excuse me how much does a vodka and coke cost?

Me: Our service is complimentary madam.

Pax: So how much does it cost?

Me: Madam, a complimentary service is one that doesnt cost anything.

Pax: Ohh I`ll just have a coke then.


Is it the altitude that causes this kind of premature dementia or what??

[ramage_570]

IT'S ALSO SO THAT IN EVENT OF GROUND EMERGENCY OR IF YOUR LUCKY ENOUGH TO KEEP A/C IN ONE PIECE AFTER CRASHING/DITCHING EMERGENCY SERVICES CAN SEE IF SEATS ARE STILL OCCUPIED FROM OUTSIDE A/C :ok:

[bnt]

From a SLF viewpoint, I do know that I go in to a Zen-like state on long-haul flights. The monotony, the drone of the engines, the lack of control, being treated like a sheep: if you want to ask me a question requiring more than a yes-or-no answer, you can almost hear the gears grinding inside my skull. Baa! :hmm:

[Tyrekicker2]

I have spent 32 years in commercial aviation - all of it on the ground, I only fly as a SLF. For the last 8 years I worked for the trade association and spent about 44 weeks a year flying between one foreign place or another. I never calculated the flight hours or miles, but sometimes I did more hours in a week than would be legal for crew! I just want to add my thanks to the CC - although I have experienced some bad as well as the many good.
Just a couple CC announcements stick in my mind though:
Scheduled British Carrier
"The captain has turned on the seatbelt lights, please switch off all electronic equipment, stow your table and return your seat to its most uncomfortable position......." :D
German Charter Carrier
"Above your seat you will find your reading light switch and the crew emergency call button....." :rolleyes:

[NZ boi]

This was a real blonde moment ,I actually said it.
On my very first flight over the international dateline which was an all night flight I said to the ISM (inflight service manager) have we crossed the dateline yet and her response was have a look out the window as it glows in the dark and I abliged...

[r.s]

I personally think call bells should be reserved for emergencys only. Pressing it because you fancy another gin is pure laziness! Fair enough if you're sat in the window seat with two sleeping strangers next to you and you're parched, but when you're sat directly behind a water fountain, and you press your call bell for a glass of water...

I answered a call bell the other day where the guy asked for a glass of water, I went and got it and mentioned there was a water fountain directly in front of the bulkhead he was sitting at so if he wanted any more water he could fill his cup up. He told me he knew there was a water fountain there - he couldn't be bothered to get it himself!!! That's what I was there for!!!

On a trip to the lovely Barbados, a very lovely man pressed his call bell to demand I completed his immigration and customs forms for him. When I said I wouldn't, because I didn't know his name, address etc, I didn't have a clue what he was taking into the country with him, it was probably illegal, he went mental and demanded to see the supervisor. Along he came and when Mr Lovely ranted at him too, he told him he didn't have time to listen to any more of his grief because he had to go and complete his own customs form!! Mr Lovely did not have a lovely look on his face after that.

Some days you really love your job.


With regards to thick passenger comments, I've had so many.

"I know this plane is due to land at LHR, but I need to make my way to LGW once we've landed and don't know how to get there. Do you think the captain would mind quickly dropping me off?"

Of course not. It's no bother.

Midflight over the atlantic - "My son wants to visit the pilots in the cockpit". Sorry sir, but nobody is allowed to visit the flight deck any more. "Why not???" Well sir, in the climate we live in these rules have had to be put in place. "DOES MY SIX YEAR OLD SON LOOK LIKE A TERRORIST TO YOU?!?!?"

He actually shouted at the top of his voice at me! Incredible.

My current favourite from a new yorker coming back to London from JFK. "I've left my book in my bag, would you get it for me?" Me thinking their bag was in the overhead said of course, and I aksed which bag was their's. I was then handed the receipt thing you get for your checked bag. This passenger seemed to be under the impression all you have to do is nip down a flight of stairs to the hold... Anyway, when I said no, I was unable to get their book for them FROM THE HOLD, they went mad demanding to know why I said I could in the first place!

Whatever.

Rant over:)

My

[robo283]

Nice rant, r.s!

Did you consider notifying the authorities and getting Mr. Lovely looked at by Customs on arrival? :E

[GrahamB73]

On a trip out to the US a few years ago, my mother was asked on boarding whether she would want to eat lunch on board.

To which she replied "Ooo fish" and wandered off to her seat leaving a rather bemused CC behind her :)

(My sister then informed her that they hadn't asked WHAT she wanted to eat and she got rather embarrassed. Scary thing was, she was only 50 or so and not deaf in the slightest :))

[Where the sun is...]

Coming back from FCO to DXB, in the menu there was a type of fish which had an italian name.
This pax from oz land:
'Excuse me Miss'
me: Yes Sir?
pax: Where is this fish from? :hmm:
me with my best smile: From the sea sir. This fish is from the sea:E

This guy looked at me blanked and then he started laughing, coudn't stopped going on and on 'ah ah ah this fish is from the sea' for 3hours!
Oh boy!;)

[DizzyIzzy]

1) On a flight from CLT to IAH, a very happy pax was telling me all about how she had almost missed her Mexico vacation because of the hurricane in Cancun and US Airways wasn't flying to Cancun but they had been soooo sweet and rebooked her on Continental so she could still get there today. (The hurricane, BTW, was headed directly for Cancun.)

Me: Umm, why do you think we will be flying into a hurricane when US Airways will not?

Pax: But Continental flies out of Houston. US Air is out of Charlotte.

Me: Yes, but the hurricane is headed for Cancun......

Pax (looking very downtrodden): Oh. I think they just rebooked me to get rid of me.

Ya think?????


2) Standing at the gate, waiting for the aircraft that was coming from customs, slight delay.... Gate agent made a very nice, clear PA explaining situation and assuring everyone she'd update them if the wait would be longer than ten minutes.

The very professional businessman standing RIGHT IN FRONT of her said, "Is that for me too?" Honest to God, he did:D :D :D


3) And one for the boys up front....

I am from Scotland and had some of my fellow countrymen on a flight from somewhere oil-related into IAH (can't remember from where). We had a nice conversation during the flight and when they got off in Houston they said their fair-thee-wells in a broad Doric accent. I replied in kind. Captain looked at me and said, "What language were they speaking?" "English!" I replied, "Sort of - they're from my hometown."

"Did you understand them?" asked the f/o. :rolleyes:

[BackPacker]

This is all hearsay, and you might have heard it before...

Airplane lands and taxies to the terminal. While still taxying, a passenger gets up and stands near the entrance. CC ask the man to return to his seat, then tell him to return to his seats etc., but the man flatly refuses since he's in a hurry and wants to be first off the plane.

Apparently the captain hears this and tells the ground crew via the radio "The airbridge is broken today." "No it isn't, it is perfectly servicable" "You don't understand, the airbridge is broken today because I tell you so, and you're going to bring stairs to the back of the plane for the passengers to disembark. I'll explain later." But obviously captain doesn't tell anybody else in the aircraft until the aircraft comes to a complete stop at the gates, all passengers get up to retrieve their hand luggage and the aisle is completely blocked.

Passenger last off the plane, fuming... :-)

[urok]

I might sound like a dim pax now but:

Why do the window blinds have to go up on landing?!

Just curious...:)

More importantly, its so that the hosties can clearly "Assess Conditions" as part of an Emergency Evacuation, therefore ensuring slides dont get blown into nastys such as fire, a building, any other form of undesirable hazard!

[c_hostie]

Recently on a flight from LGW to DFW. The seat belt signs had gone on during the flight because of turbulence, and I noticed a pax standing in the club cabin with the locker open trying to get something out. So I walked up to him..
Me: Sir, please could you sit down and fasten your seat belt.
Pax: But I'm doing something.
Me: Well as we are going through turbulence the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign so please could you sit down and fasten your seat belt.
Pax: But the sign was off when I stood up.

F*cking sit down!!!!!!!!!!!! you've had the last 6 hours to get stuff out your bag :ugh:

[Virginia]

I had a pax having a right go at me as there were no sandwiches left. This was a 2 hour flight and apparently it was digusting and she was never going fly easyJet again. Shame. I hate the Costa Del Chav flights! Why didn't she buy food earlier? She was also quite a porker, would have done her good to skip a meal anyway! ;) The amount of times we run out of sarnies, oooo yes, I'll just hop down to the ground and get some fresh ones :ugh:

Stupid Cow: Why has it taken you 15 minutes to serve me? This is disgraceful!
Me: As you can see, the flight is very busy and we are trying our best to serve everyone as quickly as possible.
Stupid Cow: Well it's not good enough

I'm not quite sure what she expected me to do. Magic some more cabin crew up to fawn over her and wait on her hand and foot?

[FG1]

Dear oh dear oh dear........Are you in the service industry or what? Not an unreasonable request for a sandwich on a two hour flight(i do accept she might have had an attitude problem) but really to call her fat etc is unreasonable. You are one of the MANY reasons i will never ever,ever fly Easyjet!
Stands by with flame proof suit on............

[eastern wiseguy]

F*cking sit down!!!!!!!!!!!! you've had the last 6 hours to get stuff out your bag

I hate the Costa Del Chav flights! Why didn't she buy food earlier?

Stupid Cow


Bloody hell bowl of milk for two!
How unpleasant can you lot get...this seemed to be a humourous thread ...but now it is sheer vitriol.

Thats me off out of it.

[urok]

Its amazing how many times someones needed to remind that this is a string for hosties to vent the many frustrations they come across daily!
I would assume that any hostie who read Virginia's post would be nodding in agreeance at the very least, have seen/said/thought similiar if not worse things!!!

If you cant read these posts in the theraputic tone that they're intended, then please, dont read them!


My personal seatbelt sign greivance typified -
*seatbelt sign goes on, PA from Capt*
*SLF wanders down the back*
Me: "Sorry Ma'am, youll have to pop back to your seat and pop your seatbelt on as the Captain just said, its a wee bit too bumpy to be up and about"
SLF: "Oh, I just want to go to the toilet"
Me: "Oh ok, well if you can do that from your seat with your seatbelt on, let me know as i feel it would be impressive to watch"

[SnoggingTarmac]

How unpleasant can you lot get


Given that the thread title refers to "Thick Passengers", isn't it a bit late to be objecting to the tone of it?

I think the title says it all. Speaking as SLF who has on occasion committed Thick Passenger sins myself, I can entirely sympathise with CC needing to vent to colleagues.

And it doesn't make me feel so alone in my dingbattery.... :bored:

[Virginia]

FG1-On behalf of myself and my fellow crew members, thank you for choosing not to fly easyJet.

And that woman was a stupid cow, even the passengers sitting behind her were rolling their eyes and one of them said to me later: 'wasn't that woman a stupid cow?'

So it wasn't just me and my fellow hostie thinking that!

[Getoutofmygalley]

FG1-On behalf of myself and my fellow crew members, thank you for choosing not to fly easyJet.

Please don't speak on my behalf Virginia. Whilst we might be wanting to vent steam on this thread, personally I would not refer to a pax as a porker or a stupid cow.

FG1 I am senior crew with easyJet and Virginia doesn't speak on my behalf. Personally I like my pax to leave my aircraft happy and usually they make nice comments to me when they leave.

So, you will be more than welcome on one of my flights in future :)

[Flyboyuk1]

PAX: "Excuse me, could I have a glass of water?"

F/A: "Sure"

F/A returns a couple of seconds later with the water

PAX: "Oh, sorry, can I get a glass of water without ice, it's just that I'm allergic to ice"


And another...

(Meal service on a flight to Lagos, Nigeria)

F/A: "Would you like any wine with your meal madam?"

PAX: "Give me red"

F/A hands over bottle of red wine, pax looks at the label and says "I don't want this one, give me another"

F/A goes in trolley, fetches different red wine, hands it to pax, she looks at the label and says "I don't want this wine, give me another"

F/A explains to pax that those are the only 2 red wines they have today.

Pax thinks for a few secs and then says "OK, give me white wine instead"

F/A reaches in trolley for bottle of white wine, hands it to pax, pax looks at the label and says "I don't want this one, give me another"

F/A apologises to pax and says "Sorry madam, but that is the only white wine we have today.

PAX looks dissapointed and says "OK, just give me water"

F/A pours the water and as he's doing so wants to find out what kind of wine exactly the pax was looking for so as he's pouring the water he asks her "Madam, may I just ask, were those wines not to your liking?"

PAX replies "No, they were all out of date"

F/A: "Out of date?"

PAX: "Yes, out of date. They all said 1998 on them" :ugh:

As I said, you couldn't make them up! :rolleyes:

[FG1]

Thanks Getoutofmygalley!
Just think it's all down to (hopefully)mutual respect which calling someone fat is lacking in. I have seen some real idiots on flights that deserved a cutting "put down". Most of us aren't like that i hope. Anyway i know this is a thick passenger comments thread but i'm afraid not all air crew are immune to the odd "thick" moment in my experience. Perhaps Virginia should think about doing something else if she gets so wound up by such trivia.....
There is a time and place to get arsy when it's truly justified which in my experience is getting all too common on aircraft.This,however,is not one of them. I really don't think that Virginia's grievance is up to much and i will take on board what you say about Easyjet!
Paul

[UP and Down Operator]

Dear Paul:

I am not a CC but am working on the FD, and I do know some about what our girls have to put up with.
Whatever is said in a forum like this, please bear in mind that it is all supposed to be things exchanged between people in the same business, and therefore private opinnions will, and have the right, to come out.

It appears to me that you are SLF and you feel jumped upon by reading the posts here. I will suggest that you then go to some other business forum, eg "Old-lawyers-dinner-discussion-group" where I am sure it is all more politically correct.

Please do not come as an outsider and start a fight. You have no idea what crew's have to put up with, no matter how many times you fly as pax, and how observant you are. Enjoy the good stories, please add to them or go somewhere else when you wish to puke!!!

That said, you are always welcome as pax and do deserve the good service you have paid for. :)

Just not in this forum here :}

Girls, I love reading the stories, even though some of them is aimed at the pointing end := ;)

[Location]

That was well said and Polite ..:D

Thank-you !!

(Don't forget about the Male Crew )

[flytheplanemay]

I agree. If someone annoys us on board, the first thing we do is go into the galley and have a whinge about the 'fat animal who wanted pringles'

I have never seen this reflected in the cabin though. From what i have seen crew are generally friendly and handle all situations well.

Lets not take take what we do out of proportion.

Thick pax comment/s: You usually get at least one when a female FO/Capt speaks over the PA. Even to the extent that on disembarking 'Chavs' (I think that is what the English refer to them as :) they will poke their head in the F/D and say 'I didnt believe it - a female driver got us here safely!'

[Rush2112]

I'm a SLF and don't have a problem with the CC venting in here - how some of the passengers I see on SIA flights don't get a good slapping from the crew is beyond me.

This would be great if it were true, I was sent it the other day and it made me chuckle:

A Mormon was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London
to Melbourne. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Aussie asked for a rum and Coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips."

The Aussie then handed his drink back to the attendant and said
"Me too. I didn't know we had a choice".

[left-right-out]

I had a beauty the other day!
A lady ask me after the Safety Demo if she had to blow up her own lifejacket!
I explained to her that no the crew come and blow them up for all the passengers just before we crash!
She replied "how do you find the time?"

HONESTLY!!!!!:ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

[WexCan]

Please don't speak on my behalf Virginia. Whilst we might be wanting to vent steam on this thread, personally I would not refer to a pax as a porker or a stupid cow.

FG1 I am senior crew with easyJet and Virginia doesn't speak on my behalf. Personally I like my pax to leave my aircraft happy and usually they make nice comments to me when they leave.

So, you will be more than welcome on one of my flights in future

Agreed wholeheartedly. Virginia has spoken many times on PPRuNe about how she's not happy at easyJet. I find it quite funny that she thinks passengers expecting good service ("magic up more cabin crew to fawn over [the passenger]") yet in another thread she said she'd much prefer to "serve claret wine to stuffy old men on BA" than work at easyJet.

easyJet is what you make of it, and while we may be low cost it's not beyond our ability to cater to different passengers and make sure everyone has a good experience. If working for easyJet is below you, Virginia, why are you still here?

Of course this thread is about "thick passengers", but perhaps "stupid cow" and "porker" are a bit strong?

[Juud]

Urok, yes this thread is meant for FAs to giggle at our pax and to vent some frustration. And yes I am a hostie ;) That does not mean you will find me nodding in agreement with Virginia's latest.
I seldom nod in agreement with Virginia's posts.
Virginia's posts are by and large of such breathtaking stupidity, such callow disregard for her pax, such utter disinterest in doing a professional job as a flight attendant that I have at times wondered if her persona was a clever wind-up.
A wind-up intended to make FAs look like shallow, feckless, inane single-braincell entities with the charm and integrity of Ms Jade Goody of UK Big Brother fame.

Here's just a few quick examples in case you think I exaggerate.



I'd rather have my relationship and be happy as I don't even like the job that much and the depression from that does not exactly help my relationship!

As soon as I move in with my long term b/f I am quitting and getting a nice little office job
___________________

Personally, if people don't want to listen -to the safety demo-, fine. If they want to die, fine. Not my problem .....

__________________

easyJet is a good airline to get some experience, that's what most people see it as.

I'm not planning on staying long! :}

I'm leaving end of probation!

Good news for EZ :ok:

Hopefully that 'nice little office job' will also put an end to her posting here. :rolleyes:

[DaedalusUK]

First up and hands down - I am not part of the CC network, but I do have total admiration for the poo that you lot have to put up with and have really enjoyed reading this thread - thank you!!

Regarding: 1) No matter where you work, if you work with the public you will ALWAYS get asked stupid questions, n generally get an arsey f:mad: r Now, if i may digress momentarily from the skies to the ground, a girlfriend of mine used to work at a reknowned florist...

They were doing a big floristry demo at a famous 'home' show in London and the company's products was stacked up on the shelving units behind them, one of which was a peony scented bath and shower range.... A smartly dressed, international woman approached my girlfriend and asked her if the reason that their fresh peonies smelt so lovely was due to them washing them with the soap.....???!!!!!!

sorry i know, irrevelant to the industry, but thought it was a example of the low stupidity of joe public as most of the 'high' ones have been covered so far!

:rolleyes:

[grumpysnail]

Hi All,


Posting from HKG, just got got off a flight where the IFE was misbehaving, lost of apologies from CC during flight, but as we disembarked a couple near me tried to convince a transfer agent that they were promised upgrades to club for the inconvenience for their onward leg... Only a slight hint of "oh really?" with his smile as he asked them for the details of the (non existant) promise - which they started to create on the fly. Images in my head of paint and corners and second coats. Has there been a thread on the stunts pax try to pull?

Anyway, I fly a reasonable amount for work and try to be one of the SLF you don't notice. I'll be the guy in the corner mostly asleep with the large bottle of water in my lap (when I'm allowed). However, I often have to ask CC to repeat questions and sometimes don't undertand even the coffee or tea puzzler. Something about the constant noise and the pressure and the attempted sleep makes me groggy.

Really amusing reading some of these and thank you to all the happy CC I've encountered :D

[Qstar]

Pax - Will this aircraft make it to nz?
Me - Not as yet but today could be our first!!:ugh:

[sebby]

LOL, heard that one just yesterday and almost everytime accross the tasman on the 737.

I often say that the techies are just working that out at the moment and I will get back to them. . . :ok:

[Virginia]

Awwww you guys say the nicest things!:}

Wexcan-I can assure you that I am leaving EZY asap! Maybe I have flown with you?

Oh and Judd I can assure you that I am in no way as common as Ms Jade Goody :8 But yes I am shallow and take great delight in applying more Juicy Tube lipgloss as I sit in the back galley having a moan. And yes, as soon as I leave the wonderful world of flying I will no longer post here.

How many of you have gone in the back galley to moan about passengers? How many of you really care about the above pax? How many of you really enjoy your job and can say it brings great personal satisfaction?


Virginia-the perfect flying waitress (yes I know we are onboard for safety but recently it seems like all I do is serve overpriced bevarages and snacks to chavs)

[TightSlot]

We'll miss you

Now can we move along please - Nothing to see here...

[justD]

Just to get back on track: Not the best ever, but definitely an everyday thickness:

-What kind of sandwiches do you have?
-Mozzarella cheese or ham and cheese. Which one would you like?
-I'll have the one with cheese, please...
(This did not always mean Mozzarella cheese...:ugh: )

[justD]

Oh, just remembered an other one!!!!

Crew member is standing in the middle of the cabin during boarding of course in bright orange uniform...
Pax looking for someone to ask about seating: "Do you work for easyJet?"

:hmm:

[lenny1974]

I do love the funny things pax say, but i used to fly for VS and believe me, some of the crew are equally stoopid! Dishing out landing cards before landing at LHR, a colleague asked 'does the guy in 46D need a landing card, he said he doesn't know'
I told her, does he have an EU passport, to which she trotted off to check.
2 mins later she returned, 'he has an Argentinian passport', so i told her well theres your answer, to which she replied, 'is Argentina in the EU'!!!

Also had another colleague ask me whilst in NYC, 'is that the same moon we see in England'

One final lil gem, a colleague once told me she put doors in manual before reaching stand, when i asked what she would do in an emergency, she reckoned she would just pull manual inflation handle! Thankfully i never flew with her again.:ugh:

[sitigeltfel]

I fly a lot with Ryanair and always try to get an, overwing emergency exit aisle seat for the legroom. On one flight just after the cabin crew had finished the closed doors check the lady next to me turned to her partner and said "Why is it always Manuel who has to check the doors?"

I moved across the aisle.......................just in case!

[BaronChotzinoff]

I Virginia and her colleagues are expected to 'deal' more 'professionally' with passengers of the type cited, I would suggest that their job descriptions be amended to include the word 'therapist' and they get paid a lot more money. The obese woman speaking out of turn should really have been to a shrink to sort out her food-related maladjustment instead of dumping it on the nearest suitable victim, and I don't blame Virginia in the slightest for dealing with the unpleasantness it clearly caused her, in any way she sees fit.

[Ver36]

I had this comment from a passenger just the other day after the demo

"It would make us feel a lot more secure if you were not wearing your lifejacket " !!!!

HELLO !!

[MarcJF]

And there was me, as SLF, thinking cabin crew were there primarily for pax safety! :ugh:

[DBisDogOne]

I'm not CC, just occasional SLF, but fully sympathise with you guys for the crap that chavs and general retards sling at you. So with this in mind I'll relay my little story of how being polite to CC/groundies pays (literaly).

I was at Sandford airport (Florida) returning home -coincidently after doing my PPL (yes, another bleedin' amateur airplane driver, I know) and was late for my flight, my fault really as I'd not allowed for the huge queues. There weren't many staff on as it was the xmas/new year dead-zone presumably and folk were getting pretty wound up. When I got to the front of the queue the fella politly told me I was too late for my flight (no surprise to me) and as my ticket was non-transferrable, I'd have to buy another. Meanwhile, those on either side (two counter to left and two to the right) were being told the same, they went into meltdown, some of them really losing it. However, much as I was pissed off and wanted to say something along the lines of "Well if your airline had more staff on etc." I just said "Oh" and went quiet.
The fella checked prices and came up with an eye-watering $1100!! My profanity circuit went into overdrive in my head and only in my head, I responded, "Oh, that's an awful lot of money, I do understand the circumstances and accept I was late, but I can't really run to that, Is there anything you can do to help me out?" He did his best for five minutes then called his supervisor over to do the same, meanwhile, chavs anonomous all around were shouting and screaming and threatening etc all and sundry. After another five minutes the supervisor looked up at me and said "Sorry Sir, the best we can do is $170 and you'll have a further four hour wait for the flight" Without seeming to bite his hand off I thanked him and asked "Is Mastercard OK?". He processed the ticket, I thanked them both for their efforts and trundled off to wait for my flight as some of the rowdy stroppy chavs were being 'Escorted from the premises' by large blokes with guns!!! Certainly two of the other lots were swearing away at having to shoulder the full cost of their replacement tickets.

Moral of the story? Ask yourself, would you be more disposed to help out someone who was being polite and talking in a quiet respectful tone or a mouthy obnoxous chav?
This tack has also worked for me with the police when they pull you on the road, I learned this as a tennager, be polite and you'll get off with a warning. you just have to watch those 'Airline' type programmes (I'm gulity of working in TV so have alot of exposure to consumer type issues) to see this in action.

Ya'all be cool out there now. (you can always have a Tourettes moment later in private!!)

Be seeing you...
;) :cool:

[kakaka]

Was on my first every flight to LHR, serving lunch to this British Indian pax

Me: Sir, would you prefer chicken or beef?
Pax: (Pulling down his tray table) I have a British passport
Me: So you don't have to eat? :hmm:

Another funny incident relayed to me by my friend. She was operating a flight to CGK. A pax was fumbling with the lav door, trying to open it.

Crew: Push, Madam, push (Demonstrating pushing motion at the same time)
The pax took a look at her, went very near to the door and....
Pax:Push.....push....

She quickly went over and open the door for the lady and proceeded to burst into laughter in the galley. "Open sesame" anyone?

[Olympus593]

Offering landing cards into London.

Me:" Landing Cards, uk immigration cards" etc etc..
U.S pax: "Do I need one of those?"
Me: "Which passport do you hold?"
U.S pax: "American"
Me: "Are you stayng in the United Kingdom?"
U.S pax: "No. We are going to Edinburgh. (Read Edinboro)
Me, as a Scot, "Well you will need one for London and one for "Scaatland"

Made sure they filled in two each...:ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

[sinala1]

Lovely lady pax comes to rear of B737, looks at both toilets, then says "Is there a difference between males and females?"

Bit my tongue (hard) to prevent myself from saying "Yes, one has sausage & 2 vege, the other has (insert appropriate female euphamism here)" and actually said, with a smile, "no ma'am, both are available for you to use"

:E

[Rush2112]

I have sometimes thought it would be a good idea if there was a dedicated urinal-only lav. for the blokes. This is usually when standing there busting my neck for a pee while a lady spends 30 mins in there titivating...

[737319320321]

It still cracks me up everytime during the bar service a passenger asks me: 'Do you have any nuts?' I just always giggle to my self, if only I could think of a witty reply....:E

[Tigger4Me]

One boast of my current boss is that he once worked as cabin crew and flew all over the world. Today someone asked him where the British Virgin Islands were. Without missing a beat back came the reply, "Between Australia and New Zealand." Thank goodness he was CC and not up the pointy end.

[JUL13]

I think it's funny when pax board and you ask to see their boarding card and they don't show it to you they just say "I'm with her" and indicate the person in front!!

Also, our fwd crew member has to stand at the bottom of the steps for boarding, and pax come to the front with row 20 seats for example. When I say that they need to board at the back, they argue and say "well we've been told to get on at the front".

One particular person stood there arguing with me and I said something along the lines of "We board rows 1-15 at the front and 16-30 at the rear, therefore not causing congestion inside the cabin and making it easier and less time consuming to board", well they weren't happy with that, because they'd been already told to get on at the front and thought I was just trying to make their day difficult. They spent the whole flight glaring at me and making me feel uncomfortable. I'd not even been rude or abrupt, I'd just explained why. It's not my fault that the handling agent had given out the wrong info...

[emboogie]

Hello reading these posts make me laugh i love pax behavior!!
JUL13 i would of just let him go in front and when all the other pax are huffing and puffing at him because he would have been stuggling all the way through to get to his sit. I would have the expression well i told you so!!!!:hmm:he probley would of found something else to moan at though?? i call it the victor meldrew syndrome hehe

[Dogs_ears_up]

reading these posts make me laugh
Really? - that last one makes me weep! Passengers are not a separate species to Cabin Crew - they are the same. Something seems to happen to otherwise normal people when they are given a uniform and told they are Cabin Crew: They stop talking 'TO' people and start talking 'AT' them. JUL13 offers a typical example...

We board rows 1-15 at the front and 16-30 at the rear, therefore not causing congestion inside the cabin and making it easier and less time consuming to board

And you thought that would help? Are you surprised that they were irritated? Wouldn't you be if somebody spouted the company line at you in defiance of normal spoken English and human behaviour. Wouldn't it be simpler to just smile and let them on without a patronising lecture?

It's not my fault that the handling agent had given out the wrong info...

Fault, no - but by asssociation, you are responsible. Passengers neither know nor care who provides a handling service: Why should they? In this case they just knew that they had been told two completely contradictory things by different people. A little empathy wouldn't go amiss?

[emboogie]

I do apologise if i upset anyone that i find human nature funny sometimes??
its amazing how you know that JUL13 was talking to the passenger in a way that was patronising?????

[lexxity]

Don't forget that pax also hear what they want to hear.:rolleyes:

[Foss]

If it makes any of you cabin crew guys and gals feel better, I usually travel on my own, and being a fit (ish) single bloke I usually get the emergengy exit seat or whatever it's called.
When you're doing the we're all going to die unless you do this right speech, I am paying a lot of attention.
I appreciate what you're all doing.
Then I make sure how to work the door. And ask if I'm in any doubt whatsoever.
Sod the peanuts. You're there to save me. Hopefully.
Chances are slim if we crash, but it would be nice to have a go at helping.

But their are some really obnoxious people SLF, 'I wanna drink, you, you, Iwanna drink.'
Don't know how you put up with it.
Fos hopefully polite SLF

[JUL13]

dog ears i don't know why you are presuming i said it in a nasty patronising way, i simply explained to the pax WHY i'd asked him to do the opposite of what he'd been told. i EXPLAINED to him, i didnt talk down to him. in my eyes if someone understands something then they will see your reasoning. AND i certainly dont think that just cos i'm crew i'm above everyone.

why are you in such an attacking mood anyway?

arent I allowed to contribute with my experiences?

[bemymamma]

well said appaddyinuk..I aggree with you 100%!! Keep up the good work guys!!!! ...and..keep that smile going!!!!!

[fasparrow]

Hi all, this is my first posting....I've been having quite a giggle at these.
Can't help but bring up the "tea & coffee" drama with pax's again. When after many L/H flights I became quite frustrated with having to repeat the tea & coffee offerings to pax with headphones on. So I decided that when I approached a pax with headphones on, I would just move my lips without saying anything. So when they took their headphones off, I would only have to say it once!!!! I actually got an applause from pax (minus headphones) in the row behind.

[Matt101]

Flight down to Jo'burg (BA crew working as No.8 on High J 744) Stood in my cabin position waiting to point at doors and thinking about whether I had remembered to pack the Jungle Formula or not baby starts screaming. Old Dear sat in Forward Facing Club Seat next to Bassinett starts follwing conversation (obviously had a few sherry's in T4)

Pax (at top of voice): Their lovely when they're yours otherwise complete buggers aren't they?
(Mother of child looks to me in disbelief)
Me: (Winking at Mum) I'm sure he's just startled by the egine start up really look he's quite cute.
Pax: Oh not really that bothered dear, one other thing though you have these rear facing seats on BA don't you I hope I'm not in one?
ME: No you came on at the front of the aircraft so you can see you;re facing forwards right now.
Pax: Yes but once we push back it'll be goign in the opposite direction won't it:
Me: (a little dumfounded) It can only fly in one direction Madame,
Pax: well we're going the other way now.
ME: Yes we're being pushed back by a tug though the aircraft still flies nose first,
Pax: You're just lying so you don't have to move me....

Found her lost in Economy later in flight - presumably looing for the front.


And my favourite standard one:

CC: Tea or Coffee Sir
Pax: I'll have a Beer Please.....


And old Dolly with little time left for people I once flew with (she is actually great but just doesn't suffer fools gladly)

other CC: Can I just see your boarding Card one last time please sir.
Pax: 22K
other CC: I still need to see sir
Pax: 22K
other CC: Sir I shan't be coming to see you in flight so not even vaguely interested in where you are sitting but I can tell you that it will be somewhere in the terminal if you don't show me your boarding card.
Pax: I told you I am in 22K
Me: (Holding back tears) Sir we do need to see your boarding card
Pax: Of course you only had to ask.
Other CC: (Practically explodes on the spot she was scottish he American and obviously didn't understand)

I know you guys aren't all bad at Understanding us but when u r it's quite funny.


Oooh another one.

US Pax: is the USA in the European Union
Me: Not since the Colonial uprising sir.
US Pax: [Completely unsure what I just said]
Other Pax: Almost has to spit her tea out tp laugh.
(guess I'm cute enough to get away with a little cheak with the right passengers).

[whatzmyname]

Usually when they ask me for the nuts,I hand over the savoury biscuits and tell the pax to pretend it's nuts. Usually gets a chuckle out of them:O

[HostieHoney]

....Well something also happens to pax when they check their luggage in - more often than not they check their brains in with it.

- Why, when pax given a neatly packed snack box, can they not repack it so that the lid closes when they're done eating and drinking? There's less stuff to fit in the box than before? Just means we have to stand there and touch there used cups, napkins etc. And when we're not allowed to where gloves, thats not pleasant.

- Pax who enter the toilets barefoot.....eeeeuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwww

- Don't care how many times you've flown, which CEO you're friends with, you're still not permitted to bring oversized bags on board. It's a rule and doesn't change due to your seat number or any initials that precede your name.

- One pax, who'd seen on one of those "how to save money when travelling" tv shows, told me to get him a scotch and coke (minus the "please"). Then gave me a $50 note, mistakenly thinking we wouldn't have enough change and therefore he would receive his drink free. Not so. He received his change in a cup - it was $45 in coins of the smallest denomination I could gather amongst the crew. But I gave him a dazzling smile.

- If you as a pax can't lift your own bag into the overhead locker because its waaaay tooo heavy, do you really expect me to potentially injure myself and try and do it for you? Good rule of thumb - if you can't lift it, neither can we. We may be able make a meal out of galley dry stores when pressed, but thats about as far as our superhero powers extend.

- One pax, when given her specially ordered meal (lacto ovo vegetarian) took one look at it and decided she wanted what her husband was having (fish poached in coconut milk. Kind of not lacto ovo vego.) Tho she was a rude cow about it, I complied. Then she demanded that I take her special meal and "show this to the captain so he can see what you make us eat!!" HUH? Why would he care? So I told her I was unable to do so and that the captain neither cared nor had anything to do with the food and chances were, his meal was probably worse than hers. Of course, this didn't shut her up and she went on to complain about something else......

People who you bend over backwards for and they are still not happy have real issues. Thank god they are in the minority otherwise it would make the job mighty unpleasant......

[Dogs_ears_up]

So sorry, HostieHoney-San

It is not the customers job or duty to re-pack snack boxes for disposal: It is yours.

Put together with your other petty complaints and your stated contempt for customers who apparently "more often than not they check their brains in with it." and an observer would have to query your suitability for your chosen career path.

[White Knight]

So Matt101 - funnily enough I drink neither tea nor coffee, so yes, if you ask me "tea or coffee sir?", then usually I'll ask for a beer (chilled at that!!!)..

[HostieHoney]

Um, maybe I read the title of this thread wrong.....I thought it was titled "Thick Passenger Comments" and I'm pretty certain I wasn't the one who started it....and there's more than a few pages to this thread I've noticed.

Funnily enough - the "check their brains in wih their baggage" phrase has been bandied around airlines by flight attendants long before I started flying so I can only guess there's a reason for that. I remember first hearing it from a long time CSM...

I could have gone on for ages about all the lovely people I've had the pleasure of dealing with, but thats not appropriate to this particular thread.

Anyways, dealing with the public in ANY job, flying or otherwise, is one of the most difficult, and is not always pleasant, no matter how you want to dress it up, because thats the very nature of people.

And I just re-read my post, and at no instance did I "state contempt" for customers. My spotless career record and letters of thanks and commendation from various pax back up my chosen career path. As such, dog ears up, an observer would have to question why you would read this thread when history shows that the postings are not to your liking. But each to their own....we just shouldn't be so hasty to judge our colleagues, should we....

[HostieHoney]

And just to back up my comment - refer to Flygirl's comment on page 8......

One more thing, dog ears up, in your haste to deem me an unsuitable flight attendant, you seem to have missed my last line whereby I stated that somewhat "painful" are in the minority.

[sinala1]

Folks its been stated on this thread more than once - if you don't like what you are reading, DON'T READ IT!

This thread is a "therapy" thread for Cabin Crew... No malice intended... if you don't like it, you know where the door is :ok:

Simple concept...

[Ver36]

This is for HostieHoney ........

As this is about "thick passenger comments " - it is only about crew sharing the quirky side of the job - what people come out with - I have loads I could share.

What passengers sometimes say onboard is funny but no cause for your reaction. I think you have taken it too seriously.

AGAIN - It is for sharing our experiences.

[take-off]

Have to agree , the general public can be incredibly thick at times, as slf and working in retail( major supermarket that likes its staff to smack their bums!!!!), so further down the rung than you guys, the comments and questions we get off customers, would out do you guys and yes its very hard to bite your tongue when your gettin spoke to like crap,by some idiot that thinks he knows the ins and outs of the business cause he/she has seen a programme or 2 on t.v!!
If i wore a hat i'd take it off for yer!!!:D:D:D
Personaly i always try to be as polite and friendly as poss, end of day i think i get better service in return then....Keep up the good work.:ok:

[Hobart RockStarr]

My god some people just can't handle a bit of a joke! I like to hear that other people have to deal with the same *#$^ I do too and here's a nice place to vent! If you dont like it- DONT READ IT! Maybe some of you could get together and start a new thread "I love passengers" "Passengers are my life" "Anything for you sir/madam- I am your servant" ???!!!

[lexxity]

It's a well known fact that pax check their brains with their bags. It's not a criticism, it's a fact.

This thread is brilliant therapy for all of us on the front line (in the air and on the ground.) Pax do say very daft things, but laughing at it helps keep us sane and stop us from going totally doolally.

If this thread offends you then I suggest you try a diffent forum, perhaps one for frequent flyers talk?

[Dogs_ears_up]

It's a well known fact that pax check their brains with their bags. It's not a criticism, it's a fact.

No - it's not a fact - honestly... I know you think it is, but it's really not. It's a generalization (look it up), and as is often the case with generalizations, it's substantially innaccurate (BTW - that's another generalization). It also is a criticism (again, look the word up), and in both posts where it has been used it has been intended to be so.

You're missing my point about this thread, which is not your fault but mine, for failing to provide clarity.

Yes, people say and do funny things when being subjected to aviation. Some are genuinely funny, some were funny the first time that you heard them but lose something when repeated for the hundredth time as is the case with many of the posts on this thread: However, that may just be because I've been flying too long.

Most importantly, some of the posts on this thread reveal rather more about the attitudes of the person posting than was intended. Those are the posts I have an issue with.

Human Beings are the hard currency of our profession, and we are, by definition, imperfect. We all are, incertain situations, prone to doing and saying odd things, and that applies to CC as well. There is a point where we stop laughing with others, and start laughing at them, and that is not a good place to be.

If this thread offends you then I suggest you try a diffent forum, perhaps one for frequent flyers talk?

I'm not offended by this thread, simply by a small number of the sillier things said - when those things reflect discredit on my profession, and the work of those crew who take their customers requirements in a more mature manner then I reserve the right to complain about it. The idea that a thread can be therapy or can maintain sanity is rather childish: Our job is as CC, not as troops on extended combat ops in Iraq - overstating the case just makes us sound foolish.

[pinkus]

I had a flight where an economy passengers 3 children kept running through the curtain into business screaming on a night flight.


Me "Sir can you please tell your children to stop running into the business class cabin there are passengers trying to sleep and they are disturbing them"

Pax: "That's really none of your business is it."

Me "Well sir I am here to ensure our passengers have an enjoyable flight. There have been complaints from passengers regarding your children f so actually it is my business"

Pax "Why don't you just lock the door?"

Me "Sir can you please explain to me how I can lock a curtain?"

Pax: "They are children they can do what they want to I'm not going to stop them."

I contemplated running one of the little turds over with a cart or giving them a cheeky high heel on the toes but I figured they had been punished enough by having this loser as a father.

[chicane19]

During training I was told many times (by trainers) that pax are our worst enemy ;).
After 8 years in the industry I would say even more: They pack their brain even before driving their way to the airport. So as counterattack I switch off mine :eek:(I mean, my brain)
This is not a critic:=
It is a proven fact:D

Cheers!

[Dogs_ears_up]

This is not a critic
It is a proven fact
No, it's not. Sorry, but it isn't - it is an opinion, or a perception or a generalization, but it is not a fact. You can say it as many times as you want but it does not make it a fact just because you want it to be. This is pretty basic stuff involving basic English usage. If English is not your first language then this is understandable - if English is your first language, then you should really think a bit harder before writing.

If you switch off your brain when flying then you are failing in your duties to your employer and your customers and should be working in some other field.

[sinala1]

As incredibly nail-bitingly exciting as your debate is regarding whats fact and whats not, could you please take it to Private Message and leave the rest of us to enjoy this thread for what its intended - light hearted humour - or, dare I even say (lest I incur the wrath of the "take-it-literally" police), therapy

:)

[Dogs_ears_up]

Fair enough - I'll keep quiet (unless of course, somebody else posts something that reflects badly on our profession or ourselves)

BTW - in a forum where there is no audible or visible communication - only the written word - we have no choice but to take things literally: We can only work with what has been written, nothing else is available. One way to get around the problem of being taken literally would be to write with some attempt at precision and thought, instead of gush and emotive cliche - or to preface such writing with a warning such as "Here I'm writing trivial, childish and cliched nonsense because I'm too lazy to think for myself and anyway most people will probably understand what I mean, more or less, although I don't really care that much"

I don't expect this to make a blind bit off difference, but I'll give you a break (for now) - I'll get my coat!
Missing you already... ;)

[chicane19]

Hi Dogs ears up!!
Yes you're right, English is not my first language. I'm still trying hard to improve it, but I need your support and understanding. Thank you very much for that.
About failing in my duties to my employer, I have a different opinion. I think they're failing first to us with so many temp contracts, crap conditions, low salaries, minimum rests, minimum crew compliment on flights, cost cutting on salaries(again) and employee benefits, exhausting rosters and a veeeery long etcetera I'm sure you are very well aware of. And I guess in your country it's still within reasonable limits. I could invite you to come and work as crew in my country or in many others not so far from yours.

Failing to my customers??!!..., I'm still as enthusiastic and hard work as the first day I got on a plane, whilst I cannot say the same about companies: overbooking, fraudulent cancelations, poor manteniance of their fleets, smaller seats, lack of experienced staff, abusive conditions, etc, etc...

So, bearing all this in mind and still steping on a plane with 300 or more lovely -but demanding- pax, I'm pretty sure you agree with me that certain level of "switched off" brain is required, as well as your industrial smile.:)

Try another field??, I have worked as baker and as bricklayer before, but I realized long ago that air crew is by far more fun.

Anyway, lets keep up the good job! (we're the only ones who still do it).

Cheers!!

[Matt101]

So Matt101 - funnily enough I drink neither tea nor coffee, so yes, if you ask me "tea or coffee sir?", then usually I'll ask for a beer (chilled at that!!!)..

And happy to get it for you I post with amusement not resentment I just find things onboard abotu our job make me chuckle a lot really and the question "tea or coffee" simply being replied to with "bear" or "yes please" or any other number of thiings makes me chuckle.

Other things that make me laugh are things pax do, crew do, ground staff do, tech crew do, all of that. It's a bizarre industry at times so please don't take offence I didn't mean any.

and PS I usually raid all the beers from the bars and put them on ice at the beginning of the flight as I can't stand serving warm lager - hope you would approve?

Matt :-)

[UP and Down Operator]

Dogs: If anyone seems not to belong in this forum it must be YOU. Can you please stop destroying a threat that a lot of other people enjoy (the number of pages in this thread speaks for itself), just because you feel you are a saint above all. Obviously you belong in some church-forum with likeminded boring nuns

You are an annoying thing that should find somewhere else to go, when you can not accept other people writing about their experiences and funny comments/thoughts on a board, ESPECIALLY in a thread designated EXCACTLY for that. :ugh:

I really hope you are not one of my CC, as i like to have humans working in the back.

Girls and Guys, keep it all coming. It is all great fun to read. And those pax reading along might learn a thing or two about what not to do :}

[Dogs_ears_up]

A threat?
a saint?
Nuns?
thaughts?
comming?


Pretty much EXCACTLY what I was saying previously - never mind - leave me in peace now, and I'll do the same for you...

[evansb]

Well dressed gent, perhaps a lawyer, was interviewed by a TV science programme while standing in line at the check-in for a trans-con flight. He was asked to explain the theory of flight. "That is an easy one", he said, "the aircraft gains speed, and then releases".

Older couple sitting beside me on a NWA flight from Orlando to Minneapolis-St. Paul, VMC day, bright sunshine, on finals. She turns to her husband and asks, "Are we being flown by the controllers on the ground now?" Clutching her hand, he replies, "Yes dear, we are".

[Outta_Guage]

BRILL THREAD.....had me chuckling hearing some of those stories. :ok:

Being the Freight Dog kinda fella, I'm glad I don't have to put up with pax on a regular basis...I'd have probably been lock up by now :ugh:

Seems a few people on here though have nothing better to do than try and find a way to complain / bitch / gripe / whatever about what stories people are recalling..... in what is obviously a thread meant for a bit of fun.

To those pepole who seem to have a problem with this thread do yourself and the people on this thread a favour...Foxtrot Oscar, and let the people who are taking the time to post there memories keep us entertained.

Remember the line that the ugly dude in Total Recall said to Arnie "Relax....You'll live longer"

Oh no.... wait ... somebody is bound to reply now asking me to provide written documented proof that relaxing makes you live longer ...just for the record...I was joking (wanted to clear that up for some of the more serious types in here) ;)

Again....great thread boys and girls...keep it up :D

[Sammi_Jane]

I work with the general public at the moment, and sometimes it's really hard to stand there with a smile on your face, and try very hard not to patronize them!

[Codger]

"I had a flight where an economy passengers 3 children kept running through the curtain into business screaming on a night flight.


Me "Sir can you please tell your children to stop running into the business class cabin there are passengers trying to sleep and they are disturbing them"

Pax: "That's really none of your business is it."

Me "Well sir I am here to ensure our passengers have an enjoyable flight. There have been complaints from passengers regarding your children f so actually it is my business"

Pax "Why don't you just lock the door?"

Me "Sir can you please explain to me how I can lock a curtain?"

Pax: "They are children they can do what they want to I'm not going to stop them."

I contemplated running one of the little turds over with a cart or giving them a cheeky high heel on the toes but I figured they had been punished enough by having this loser as a father."

Perhaps an invitation to the children to go outside and play, would have been in order.

[Ckin Gal]

hi,
just a couple of things from us ground staff.

When on a flt into LGW the PA announced that we would be disembarking from the rear onto buses to take us to the correct arrivals. Being sat at the front with a couple of colleagues including a Duty Manager we got our bags out and sat back down waiting for the queue to clear. Unfortunately another Club pap had other ideas and stormed up to have a go at the NO.1 as to why he couldn't disembark at the front, he'd paid club fare specially so he could get off first, was going to write to the CEO, and finally demanded to see the captain. After yelling at the captain who with the NO.1 was rationally talking to this pap (god knows how) he then proceded to call his office on the mobile and demand that they took his dictated letter down and mailed ASAP. What an a***hole there really is no need for that and we were absolutely gobsmacked by this.

A couple of days ago, due fog, our flts were running approx 3hrs behind which from our point of vview is better than i could be. After calling and calling these particular 2 pax we offloaded them and the a/c departed. Roughly 10mins later i get a call from another dispatcher working on the next flt out of that gate saying that these pax had turned up and wanted to speak to me about why i didn't hold the flight for them!!

I have total respect for all CCs. I can walk away from a pap (or pack as they like to form on some flights) where as you guys & gals have no where to go up there. i could never do your job. congrats and keep smiling even though somedays you don't feel like it.

:ok::ok::ok:

[b747 flightboy]

My flights tend to be a non event but a couple of weeks ago this really tickled me.

I was stood at the overwings (row 14) and we boarded the a/c using steps at the front. Man huffing and puffing, and wife looking as though she is going to have a fit (American, guys,and am sorry if I offend anyone). He's yelling where's row 1? (behind you, I thought, you just passed it as you got on, and at the front at that. Doh:ugh:) But smiling I just explained it was at the front.
Felt sorry for the poor loves, tired, emotional etc. However then the wife is bemoaning the fact they are split up and they had to sit together. Thinking dear God I don't need this on a full flight, I looks at their boarding cards 1d and 1F.(upgrades, ah well, good for them) Said I would sort it, only had to move the person in 1E. At this point am still smiling (it's the meds, honest:p)
Situation sorted.

Then giving the meals out in club, He takes his meal: a cold chicken salad with cous cous (tastes nicer than it sounds) as soon as my back is turned, he hollers this meal is cold. I reply yes sir it's supposed to be, but I ended up splitting my sides as was the ff woman behind. I just sometimes dunno what people say and do. Still tickled me. Muppets.

[sinala1]

Not so much a "Thick Passenger Comment", but still something that left me speechless...

As any self-respecting Aussie would know, we are currently in the middle of the greatest contest known to Rugby League - the State of Origin series. Two teams - Queensland (the Maroons), and New South Wales (the Blues) play each other over 3 games spread across about 9 weeks I think.

Anyway, I am a Blues supporter, and arriving into Brisbane from Sydney a few days ago (the night of the 2nd match - which NSW subsequently lost, and therefore the series :{ ) I said in my landing PA "oh and for those of you off to the pub to watch the game, have a good night - and Go the Blues". Arrive at the gate, pax disembarking, me standing there with arms behind back farewelling them. Youngish male pax comes up and says "Go Maroons"... naturally my response was "Go Blues" - to which he promptly gave me a Nipple Cripple!!!!! R1 crewmember standing there nearly collapsed in fits of hysterics, and I was totally dumbfounded......... the worst part was he wasnt even that attractive :ugh:

ah, the glamourous life of a flight attendant!

Oh and for the record, I am a guy - for those wondering about the "nipple cripple" concept on a female :eek:

[sir.pratt]

I was totally dumbfounded......... the worst part was he wasnt even that attractive

ah, the glamourous life of a flight attendant!

Oh and for the record, I am a guy - for those wondering about the "nipple cripple" concept on a female


ahhhh the myth continues.............

[chuckles1066]

I am SLF but have EVERY sympathy with you CC.

Especially those of you having to deal with British chavs, you must just love finding out you're on a summer flight to anywhere in the Med.

Anyway, a diversion; an ex of mine worked for P&O doing the Dover-Calais Calais-Dover run twice a day.

She once had call to collar a guy who was still in the vehicle area after pre-launch checks had been completed. There he was, trying desperately to fit a steering wheel to clutch pedal immobiliser to his car.

On a ferry.

As my ex said to him, if they manage to break into your car, it's in the middle of hundreds of other cars and is in the middle of the English Channel, where is it going to go?

He reported her for her flippant attitude.........

Never ever forget that even if they ARE paying your wages, a chav is still a chav...............

[I Just Want To Fly]

CC: Are you OK Sir?
Pax: I've had three heart attacks, I need an upgrade.
CC: Right, can I give you a hand with your bag.
Pax: Leave me alone! Your company treats customers like sh*t!
CC: I'm sorry sir, can I help you to your seat.
Pax: I can manage. Leave me alone. I need to sit in First Class.
Once seated in his assigned seat...
Purser: Unfortunately as you have not been medically cleared to fly, we will need to check with our Medical Department to see if we can allow you to travel today. :}

[wiggy]

Ah, the old " I need an upgrade for medical reasons" sketch..didn't work last time someone tried it on me either ....

Lady Pax complains to CC that her husband has a breathing condition and gets claustrophobic in an economy seat ( BTW husband said nothing throughout all this), CC member involved brings problem to us on the Flight Deck.
Me to CC : "OK, we'll consult our medical advisor's and get back to you"
........One phone call and several minutes later, I enter the fray at the door.
Me to Lady : " Sorry, our advice is your husband cannot travel.."
Lady Pax "Oh but he would be OK in Club"
Me " Sorry, you're not now cleared to fly at all, we need to offload you and you need to get your husband checked out before trying to fly with us again".

The look the husband gave his wife as they walked off the aircraft was priceless.

[Jaguar Pilot]

On a recent Beardie flight to USA.

Me boarding, aft crew - "higher"

Me respond - "lower" equals dumb look.

Lern inglish creww.

[lexxity]

Sorry guys but I have the best medical excuse for wanting an upgrade EVER!

Boarding one of our longhauls out and see a message in system, "pax not well, request upgrade." Just about to call pax forward and security staff come and let us know she is wanting to speak to a supervisor. Supe checks the note in the booking and goes and speaks to the lady in question. Supe is soon back waring the biggest grin and trying not to laugh.

Pax needed an upgrade because she had period pains! :}:ok:

[Firestorm]

I wouldn't want to be squeezed into a Prole calss seat next to a hormonal biffer: I would support the case for an upgrade for one or other of us!

[Jaguar Pilot]

That's because army awficers (Ruperts) are not able to do anything for themselves. They always use a competent NCO - without the latter the army could not function.

[Flintstone]

That's because army awficers (Ruperts) are not able to do anything for themselves. They always use a competent NCO - without the latter the army could not function.
Hehe. I remember my basic training where I was warned in no uncertain terms by an NCO that the most dangerous thing in the British Army is "A f*cking Rupert with a map and compass". When I passed basic training with a recommendation for a commission his face was a picture. The look of disdain will live with me forever:O


As flight deck I have the utmost respect for cabin crew. I just could not bite my tongue and put up with some of the things you do. In bizjets we don't have the locked door to contend with and also muck in. There's even a photo somewhere of me wielding a rather large chef's knife in the galley:} Oh, and another with the vacuum cleaner. Goes both ways too, my favourite cabin crew will often go outside and pit the pitot covers on at the end of a flight.

The ignorance and just plain dopiness of the (commercially) travelling public is boundless. At one time I was catching airlines twice a week, sometimes in uniform sometimes in civvies and the behaviour of the SLF constantly amazed me.

For one thing I learned NEVER to stand still in a terminal while in uniform. "Where's my bag? What time does Granny's flight arrive? Where are the toilets? What's the weather like in (insert name of distant destination here)?". Sheesh:rolleyes:

Once on board there's the safety briefing to be ignored. I once asked for it to be repeated as I neither saw nor heard it courtesy of the large newspaper and constant chatter of the two businessmen in front of me. The number one could barely contain her laughter as she went through the whole routine in a louder voice with exaggerated gestures right in front of the by now blushing ignorami.

CC themselves can be arsey too. Travelling home wearing civvies I quietly attracted the attention of one lady and asked her to tell the flight deck there was fluid dripping from beneath the flaps. Without looking she dismissed me with "It's just condensation off the wings" and started to walk away. "In that case" I replied "Perhaps you could inform the flight deck there's Skydrol(hydraulic fluid) coloured condensation dripping from the wings".

Passengers again. I boarded a national carrier and took my seat in Business Class. For various reasons I always remove my jacket and epaulettes once on board but of course by then the passengers nearby have seen them. One of the frumpy businessmen began to complain in their language about a pilot being in Business Class. I understood enough to hear the number one politely say I had a paid up ticket so....tough. Immediately after take-off there were a series of loud bangs from one of the engines which then spooled down. As I looked up from my newspaper I saw ALL eyes in the front cabin on me, including the pompous git who had tried to get me moved. Everybody's face bore the unasked "What's happening?". I smiled at Mr Pompous and said "Oh NOW you want to be my friend?".

Almost all of the passengers within earshot (who had heard his original complaint) laughed and relaxed somewhat. Nice smooth, if short, single engined flight saw us back on the ground ten minutes later.

[Jaguar Pilot]

f*cking Rupert with a map and compass".

I'm surprised he knew what either items were.

[west lakes]

For one thing I learned NEVER to stand still in a terminal while in uniform


Hey don't worry I was working in a nearby tourist town the other day, wearing Hi-vis jacket with the word "ELECTRICITY" in 4in high letters on the back - got accosted by a :mad: demanding why she had been given a parking ticket for parking a car & caravan in a bus bay! Took 10 mins to convince her it was nothing to do with me!!! Husband who was in car then tried to stop me as I left to do other work - like look after my customers!

C/C keep them coming those of us that deal with customers/members of public on a daily basis appreciate where you're coming from, show good customer service but enjoy the situation in private!

[Tigger4Me]

The hat rack one reminded me of a flight with a Spanish airline a couple of years ago from Malaga to Madrid. CC doing pre-flight checks asked an old biddy sitting in front of me to put her bag in the overhead. After a discussion between the two she finally put the bag up only to recover it shortly after take-off. For the next 15 minutes she sat chatting apparently to herself. Intrigued, I stood to stretch my legs and peered over her shoulder to see a dog in her lap. Barking mad I call it.

[foggyl]

serving sandwhiches onboard and a passenger asked for a vegetarian
Gave the pax a veggie and got a ear bashing from the pax as it was not veggie.
Checked the package and yes a veggie - but she cried "it says bacon"

On the side of the box it says ba.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go figure!!!
:ugh:

[FirmamentFX]

I am SLF but my job is conducting UK touring musicals - theatre audiences can be just as bad.

We were in Manchester at the Opera House waiting in the pit at the end of the interval for the "standby" from the stage for act 2. Unfortunately, during the interval rain had started leaking through the roof and onto the stage (this was all relayed to us musos by intercom). It got so bad that 40 minutes after act 2 was supposed to have started we were still waiting.

The audience had by this time become very restless and started a slow clap (which obviously really helped...). One guy came up to me and demanded that I start the music anyway and they would hear it on stage and start act 2 :ugh:. After explaining very politely that the sound was not on, and the cast were no doubt still in their dressing rooms, he stormed off to stage door to have a go at the company manager.

Eventually the show was cancelled (1 hour after we were supposed to start). 2 people marched down to the pit after the PA announcement and demanded that I (personally) pay them back for their tickets because "it will be easier for me to claim the money back than them".

That is only one show out of a 7 month tour...

Slewing seamlessly back to the topic ;) - as I stated in a thread in the SLF forum, CC - you have nothing but my respect and admiration. It's not just "chavvy scum" that annoy me as a Pax, but more so intelligent and educated people who feel that they deserve "special" and "different" treatment to the rest of us...

Martin

[Lberto]

Hello everybody , just joined the forum. I am an experienced SLF (100.000 req.flyer miles/year , in economy) , and a bit bored by other SLF, while apperciating and respecting in full the crew . To me it is at least strange to see people queuing up at the gate as far as somebody approaches the gate counter even if boarding is announced in 20 mins or more. But what gets me really crazy once landed is seeing fellow passengers getting up frantically just to stay squeezed in the aisle and being hit on the head by the overhead bins' doors. Moreover any time you stop at an intersection ,engines still well up , there's often somebody standing up and reprimended by the crew. I wait until the seat belt sign is switched off , besides that you have to hear the cross-check of emg exit order and the engines stopping to be sure you're close to unbuckle.

[Hobart RockStarr]

Oh and on a funny note-
Just home from a flight to Manilla. Over all a fairly uneventful flight- pax very really polite and friendly. My Senior however had a strange passenger request. She came to me Laughing but looking slightly confused. A passenger had asked her "Ma'am He'd like some Milk"( Pointing to young boy) "OK sure" she replied, "hot or cold?" She asked. Problem was the pax didnt want Hot or cold cow's milk... She was asking for breast milk! Bizzare I know, but no word of a lie! We're pretty happy to have a look in business or first for a Y/C pax request, but I can't see a solution for this one...

[cherrycoke]

In reply to the post about being asked if crew member worked for easyJet whilst wearing the beautiful uniform, I'm pretty sure that crew member was me, it's definitely happened. It has also happened whilst I was in Ezy uniform in Asda. Sometimes I think people just expect the world on a plate. Then I have to try and remember they don't know any better!

Also, one passenger opened the back locker which has NO STOWAGE written on it, then asked me if he could have one of the pillows (Lifecots) in it.

Most people on our flights manage to open the toilet door ok, it's just finding it they have a problem with. I wish Airbus would write TOILET instead of LAVATORY.

And finally, does my gift shop trolley LOOK like a bin?

Big Love

[justD]

A comment on a random website:

"I was on two XXXXX flights in which the planes felt so out-of-control we were gripping our seats the entire time. The second time, before landing we dropped so far so fast that the entire plane screamed. Not a very good PR move."

DUH!!!!!!!:ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

[warkman]

Quote "And finally, does my gift shop trolley LOOK like a bin?

Big Love" End quote

YES!! :p:ok:

[take-off]

well was at cash machine outside morrisons the otherday, me in my (shame faced asda uniform). Angry looking old guy came ranting up to me,telling me i should tell my boss that i should get some more f:mad:ing checkouts open, as the q's were f:mad:ing horrendous, said certainly sir im sure my boss at asda would love to put more ckout operators in a rival store..... U should have seen his face, what made me laugh was the old dear that said to me ...wot a tw@T!:D:D:O

[marydoll]

"
Almost all my flights are from Ireland to Scotland so it's
teacoffeteacoffeteacoffe really quick because the flight's only an hour."


Try DUB-LPL or DUB-PIK i've done them in 18 mins and it's tecoftecofftecoffgiftsgashland!!!!! lol :eek::uhoh:

[flightychick]

"I am an experienced SLF (100.000 req.flyer miles/year , in economy)"

:eek: Are you some kind of Time Lord?? There are less than 9000 hours in a year!!!

[Ancient Mariner]

flightychick:

"I am an experienced SLF (100.000 req.flyer miles/year , in economy)"

:eek: Are you some kind of Time Lord?? There are less than 9000 hours in a year!!!


Hmm, if you travel 100.000 miles/year at an average speed of say 400 miles/hour that'll be 250 hrs/year. Nothing to it. On my best I've had close to 500.000 kms (SAS/Star Alliance) + some One World miles + others in one year and I'm sure many have had much, much more.:)
Per

[Lberto]

flightychick:

Quote:
"I am an experienced SLF (100.000 req.flyer miles/year , in economy)"

:eek: Are you some kind of Time Lord?? There are less than 9000 hours in a year!!!

Hmm, if you travel 100.000 miles/year at an average speed of say 400 miles/hour that'll be 250 hrs/year. Nothing to it. On my best I've had close to 500.000 kms (SAS/Star Alliance) + some One World miles + others in one year and I'm sure many have had much, much more.:)
Per
Unquote

I just mentioned the average mileage I collect in one year ( including bonus mileage) , nothing to be proud of, I wish it could get to a lot less, possibly tending to 0 miles flown per year :)

[robo283]

Yeehaa!! 100000 hits on this thread. A big Thank You to all our readers and especially those of you who have contributed to the thread. Keep 'em coming :D

[christep]

"I am an experienced SLF (100.000 req.flyer miles/year , in economy)"

:eek: Are you some kind of Time Lord?? There are less than 9000 hours in a year!!!So does this qualify as a "Thick Cabin Crew" comment or are you, flightychick, just a "Thick passenger"? :D

[back2flying]

Here's a few that have made me chuckle over the years -

pax (pointing to airshow on main cabin screens and pushing his inseat TV controls while looking a little miffed) asks "can I please have the remote - I can't get the channel to change".

pax (business class) asks for the red wine bottle, looks at the label, notes the vintage and hands me back both the bottle and his glass "you can't serve me that - it's old".

pax (business class) gives me back his champagne and complains "there are too many bubbles in it".

Crew "Caviar Sir?" Pax, "oh yes, I love it. Give me everything, but none of that black stuff".

A colleague was in the cabin with tea and coffee pots in her hands when a passenger asked her for a pen. Without missing a beat my colleague replied "sure, hold these", and shoved both pots towards the suitably embarassed passenger.

But my favourite story would be my own inability to understand what the passenger was trying to tell me - just before I took my duty free cart into the cabin the PUR announced that Channel 5 was not working on the inflight entertainment system. On arrival in the back galley I had a passenger approach me repeating 'channel 5, channel 5'. I apologised and explained we were aware of the problem with the system, before I realised he infact wanted to buy a bottle of 'Chanel 5' from me!! Bless.

[robo283]

"Hmm, if you travel 100.000 miles/year at an average speed of say 400 miles/hour that'll be 250 hrs/year. "

...plus all the time spent queuing to get through security of course, so you can see how it adds up!

[pinkprincess]

when offering orange juice after meal service, a pax asked me ' so are you doing juice AND squash?' my reply 'I thought juice and squash were the same thing?', duh!!!

[christep]

when offering orange juice after meal service, a pax asked me ' so are you doing juice AND squash?' my reply 'I thought juice and squash were the same thing?', duh!!!Why are you putting this in the Thick Passenger comments thread? This is another "thick cabin crew" comment...

[vodkaholic]

christep, totally agree. juice is juice (concentrate) and squash is squash (diluted with water). two totally different things lol

[tom775257]

Why oh why do pax not lock the toilet - I certainly don't appreciate seeing old half naked people on a regular basis - is it that tricky to understand a door lock?

My favourite pax moment so far: I fly a route check flight where I am being checked, 3hrs 30 to Manchester. So bring on 2 hours technical and procedural grilling from 6am in the morning, followed by a raw data autopilot/autothrust off approach from 7000' to landing at rush hour at MAN in ****ty weather. All goes well, stop at gate. I feel tired but happy, and quite proud. Flight deck door is open, step in angry English female pax.

Angry pax: "That was the worst flight of my life!"

Me: "I'm sorry to hear that, why?" (Expecting some major problem, due to the sheer rage she was showing)

Angry pax: "There were passengers talking in a foreign language behind me all flight!"

Me: "Well you are flying Air ***** the flag carrier of ***** of which the main language isn't English"

Angry pax: "What is your name, I want to make a complaint"

Me: "That is fine, my name is FO xx please contact our customer services department, I can give you their address"

Angry pax: "You'll hear from my lawyer!!!"

I was rather bemused to say the least, tired and very bemused.

[VS-LHRCSA]

Premium Economy passenger at Virgin check-in demanding to be let into the Clubhouse because she was a Gold Card Holder - for BA!!

The nerve.

[lexxity]

We had a pax complain that there was an infant in their cabin! :ugh:

Juice and squash, btw, not the same thing.

VSCSA we get that all the time! Or the alternative, I am goldcard holder with your airline let me in the lounge. When they are flying another carrier outside the same alliance.

[spanishflea]

Or the alternative, I am goldcard holder with your airline let me in the lounge. When they are flying another carrier outside the same alliance.

I hope you don't do that to BA Gold Card holders! :eek:

[christep]

christep, totally agree. juice is juice (concentrate) and squash is squash (diluted with water). two totally different things lolWhere I come from at least "squash" is a manufactured drink which contains lots of other stuff as well as fruit juice and water (and is generally more dilute than juice), "juice" is just that - preferably not reconstituted from concentrate but even if it is then it consists only of juice concentrate and water back at the original strength.
For example, Waitrose Orange Squash (http://www.ocado.com/webshop/getProductDetails.do?sku=11638011&parentContainer=118070) contains wheat! (WTF is that all about?) And sulphur dioxide, and added sugar and artificial sweeteners, and is only 13.9% fruit. To me that is something very different from "orange juice".

[Viola]

You are right - squash often includes all sorts of horrible things.

However, if in Scotland the term 'juice' is used for almost any soft drink or more accurately 'pop'.

[xetroV]

Thick passenger:
PAX (deboarding after a 13-hour flight from AMS to LAX): So, are you going to fly back now?
CC: :hmm:

Thick cabin crew:
Captain (pointing at a screen that shows: 0000.00 N): This shows we are passing the Equator at this very moment!
CC (after looking outside for a minute): Where is it? I can't see it?!?

Thick F/O (a.k.a. "me"):
Me (on a flight to Oslo): Ladies & gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed the flight and I wish you a pleasant stay in Stockholm.

<ping!>

Purser: Did you just say Stockholm?
Me: http://gathering.tweakers.net/global/smileys/redface.gif
Purser: You know, that surely rattled a few pax! :}

[verticalhold]

xetroV;

I know that last one only too well. Went slightly further one day after a lot of earlies and a lot of sectors I turned to the P2 and with the PA mike still open said "where the bloody hell are we this time?" Very red faced at the forward door saying sorry and goodbye to the pax.

Sadly every one laughed except for one of the CC who reported me to the company, I had a short chat without coffee or biscuits in the Chief Pilot's office for that one!

Thankfully the airlines are now a distant and unlamented memory.

[sinala1]

Sadly every one laughed except for one of the CC who reported me to the company
Mistakes happen, it sounds like it wasnt something you did on purpose - methinks that particular CC member needs to have the pole removed from their derriere :hmm:

[verticalhold]

sinala1;

Long time no hear. Hope all is going well. The CC member concerned forced the pole up a lot further when she became a pilot and then a training captain on A320's!!!

VH

[emboogie]

maybe she wasnt busy removing the pole from her derriere but busy having her nose up someone elses derriere!!:mad: lick lick

[sinala1]

Doing just Splendidly here VH, holidays coming up shortly :D How's yourself?

The CC member concerned forced the pole up a lot further when she became a pilot and then a training captain on A320's!!!

:rolleyes: I bet she is a barrell of laughs to work with too!

Not so much a thick Passenger comment as much as a thick Sinala1 comment - doing arrival PA, nattering on about aerobridge/stairs combination to be used for disembarking - stopped mid sentence when I remembered the port we were arriving at had no aerobridge :ugh: Luckily managed to talk my way out of it (just!)

[verticalhold]

Sinala;

Staggering along. Off to Barbados next week. Six day layover, holidays not until September.

She achieved a certain notoriety by bursting all four main gear tyres at Barcelona in a rather spectacular arrival and had to put up with rather a lot of "woman driver" comments from the pax before her interview without tea and biccies.

VH

[Mahaba]

A few years back, my sis (ex Dan air, Caledonian, Ambassador,Royal Jordanian) used to amuse herself on night flights by attending to disruptive pax at various times during the darkness wearing various shades of novelty contact lenses, reserving the deep red ones for the particularly sh***y folk. She reckoned it calmed them down no end. Or just gave them nightmares for years!!!

[chu_hi]

A couple of guys asked me once, "Why have we stopped?"

This was during cruise. They seemed a little embarrassed to be asking, as if the reason for "stopping" should have been obvious.

I couldn't tell whether they were serious, or just very good comedians.

[vb_girl]

PAX: "What are the TV screens for?"

:ugh:

[stanleystan]

I once had a pax call me over and she looked very frightened. I asked if she was ok and she said "Oh my god we're going down is this normal?" This was just after the captain had made a pa saying we were descending and landing in 15 mins!
Also I was dealing with a pax who had fainted putting oxygen on her etc and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round and a passenger asked me for a glass of water. Yes sir i'll just leave this young girl lying here to get you one!

[sinala1]

Stanley that reminds me of when I used to fly long haul... LHR-JNB, about 5 hours into the flight, somewhere over Africa. Severe medical, pax with a double pulmonary embolism - luckily there was a doctor onboard and based on his advice and assistance from Medlink it was clear we were going to have to divert. Options were turn around and backtrack to either Algiers or Tunis - obviously, we took Tunis.

I was not directly involved with the sick pax, so was keeping up cabin presence etc. South African lady travelling with her son stops me and asks why we were diverting. I said "unfortunatley we have a very sick passenger who requires immediate medical assistance. We have to land ASAP, as her health is obviously very important to us". Lady responds "yeah well not to ME its not - this is destroying my holiday plans"

:mad:

I responded "how would you feel if it were your son who was sick?"

She went very quiet after that!

B:mad:tch

[r.s]

Also I was dealing with a pax who had fainted putting oxygen on her etc and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round and a passenger asked me for a glass of water. Yes sir i'll just leave this young girl lying here to get you one!

I remember when me and another crew member were sat on our knees in the aisle trying to help a woman who we thought was having a heart attack. She was giving the lady oxygen, whilst another crew member was making a PA to request an MQV, and I was trying to reassure her 12 year old daughter who was terrified.

The girl giving the lady oxygen got shouted at to "Get out of my way, I need to go to the bathroom". He actually shouted!!

Another woman came up to me, prodded me in the back and declared "I need water". I was so shocked I just looked at her and suggested she go and find a tap.

[robo283]

Pax on Mrs. Robo's flight last night: "Can you let my son see the pilots please?"

Mrs. Robo: "I'm sorry, it's not been allowed since 9/11"

Pax: "That's ridiculous. He's only five. He's hardly going to hijack the aircraft"

Mrs. Robo: "As I said, it's not allowed anymore. Even my own five-year-old son wouldn't be allowed up there if he was here".

Pax: "Well he isn't so here so I don't know why you're going on about him. It's my son we're talking about and you still haven't given me a good reason why he can't go up on the flight deck".

Moving swiftly on........

[Brace_Brace]

PAX: I was at doors 3 on the 757 for boarding And a passenger who was sitting at row 32-33 called me over.

Me: “Hi can I help?”
Pax: Yes!!!! I asked at check to have a seat far away from them the engines, I don’t like it, it’s too loud, you cant bloody see anything, etc….this went on for a good minute or two before I could get a word in . (all pax around him were listing in as they do!)

Me: I then turned around and said: “That’s ok sir, your not any where near the engine that’s the hold door.

He looked out the window then at me then out the window.

Pax: “Oh…..?!?!?!

A classic.

[warkman]

(OK, Hope you take this in the spirit it was posted, fun!)

Passenger, first time in Economy on a Virgin Atlantic flight back from the States:-

" Stewardess, will there be a second round of drinks duruing the flight? you will be coming through the cabin in the next seven hours won't you?" :8:E:E

[Virginia]

Had a passenger demand my crew meal once as she was hungry and we had sold out of sandwiches! Never mind the fact that I had a 12 hour day and had been up since 3am. :sad: I nicely explained to her this fact and she didn't get off my back till my Purser reasoned with her.

'Why don't you go and get a proper job love?' This from a middle aged man. :hmm:

A right chavvy looking man wearing his sunglasses: 'I want a JD and coke.' (note, no please or thankyou)
Me: "Certainly, as you can see I am collecting the rubbish, as soon as I have finished I will be happy to get you one."
2 minutes later...'Oi you, where's my drink?' :rolleyes:

Just before landing when passengers want more food/drink despite being told before hand that due to Customs regulations the bars are locked.

I was once accosted whilst on a nightstop by an angry pax shouting at me that my airline was rubbish. He was quite threatening and I had to lock myself in my room and call security. :\

A friend of mine was recently attacked my a drunk group of chavvy women on a flight :(

Was reading an article here about how abuse against service workers is growing: http://money.guardian.co.uk/workweekly/story/0,,2141036,00.html

[lexxity]

I was once accosted whilst on a nightstop by an angry pax shouting at me that my airline was rubbish. He was quite threatening and I had to lock myself in my room and call security.

Very similar thing happened to me once. All our pax bags had been left behind in ALC due very hot weather and maximum take off weight restrictionns. The pax knew and they, all 215 of them, crowded round the baggage office, trying to get in and over the counter! Had to get customs and the police to remove them! Very, very scary for me. I hadn't even been with the airline six months!

[Letsfly]

I was serving fish and lamb for the dinner service. I asked this guy what he wanted fish or lamb and he said beef.

I told him that sorry the choice today is lamb or fish what would you like.

He then told me in a smart ass tone that lamb and beef are the same thing and that they come from the same animal so I he wanted the beef!!

So I gave him the lamb!

Hello....!!!

[aftab]

lol, lets fly post.

[vodkaholic]

Passenger, first time in Economy on a Virgin Atlantic flight back from the States:-

" Stewardess, will there be a second round of drinks duruing the flight? you will be coming through the cabin in the next seven hours won't you?" :8:E:E
i know you said your post was to be taken as fun, but i can't see that. i flew virgin economy to and from the states and on both flights we only got one bar service, and that was 4 hours into the flight!!!

so were you meaning that the woman was being thick, because of course you wouldnt be doing a second drinks service. or was she being thick because of course you 'normally' do? i'm confuzzled!

[A320 galleybitch]

Ah, hello!!!!! No wonder your concerned about a second bar service. Your username says is all: Vodkaholic.

[AR1]

I have one from the horses mouth, as fully qualified SLF. I went back to the galley on an AA-777 last month westbound across the pond. Powder blue sky outside, so I bent slightly and looked out of the rear access window.

Coming in the opposite direction, right to left at the same altitude was another silver jet, with the most wonderful grey expanding contrail from the back. It wasn't converging so I wasn't alarmed, and watched it for a few minuites..

It was the wingtip...

[AR1]

And galleybitch - I laugh in the face of 2nd bar service. I have just witnessed the mother of all bar bills between a Malaysian Gent and a 'freelance' airwoman on Malaysian. (I was in the busness class seat behind them)

And may I add, in the old Air Canada ad - 'I didnt want to get off' - especially with the sunrise and nebula-like storm clouds inbound to KLIA. No wingtips up top on a 747!! - My first time up there.

With the odd exception you guys make traveling the greatest. OK the pilot has the last word, but nobody notices until it goes tits up. - Until then you get the flak.

Rgds

AR1.

[iain8867]

This isn't a thick passenger comment, but it confused the hell outta me..... Previous to the converstion a passengers seat back tv wasn't working properly, everyone elses was so it was suggested that we put on the over head tv's eah of the films in turn so he could watch them. I placed the first film on. In the rear galley a passenger asked me why this particular film (Spiderman 3) was on
ME A passengers seat back tv isn't working and it is the only way he can watch the films.
PAX He should have watched it at home then
ME Well why shouldn't he be able too watch it on the plane?
PAX There are more of us, I don't want to watch it!
ME But you have your own TV and can turn it to a film you want to watch
PAX Oh Forget it!
Now was I being unreasonable to show the movies over the central TV's to allow this pax to watch them? The pax who questioned them being shown was not close to a central TV but it could be seen from their seat.

[Rush2112]

AR1 - great, just great!

iain - I disagree, it's not a thick passenger comment, it's what is technically known as an 'ar$eh8le passenger comment'. I often think there should be an IQ test before they let some people on a plane.

[harrogate]

... the thick folks I knew at school now work as airline cabin crew...

[robo283]

That's a bit out of order, Harrogate.:=

[SLFguy]

"... the thick folks I knew at school now work as airline cabin crew..."

Did you ever wonder who got your allocation of 'class' when it was being handed out?

[simsalabim]

hey Harrogate which airline knocked your cabin crew application back ? getting back on topic a colleague had the great Muhhamed Ali on board many years ago, coming into land in SYD the seat belt sign illuminated but Ali was fast asleep . My friend ( female flight attendant) woke him gently and whispered in his ear " Mr Ali we are coming in to land i need you to put your seat belt on" He replied " Superman dont need no seat belt" She retorted " yes well Superman don't need no aeroplane either". He quickly did his seat belt up.

[William Whizz]

LETSFLY post very funny!!!!! Typical pax, they know everything!!! (they think)

What about having past through the cabin with a bar service, asked all pax if they want something to drink, both the way out and the way back to the galley, and when everything as been put away, ding (call bell), a pax that will like something to drink. Didn't he wanted it 2 min ago?????

When we do the tea and coffee service, we have both pots on top of cart. So we ask, "Tea or Coffee?" And pax sais "Yes" AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!

I have a friend in Iberia, that told me a funy story that happend to her with a little boy on a flight. In Iberia they give children like a winegum lolypop. So she went to this boy, travelling with his father, and gave the sweet to him, he took it, and the father said: " what do you say?". The child answered "That I don't like it!!!!!!!!" and gave it back to her.:O

[vodkaholic]

Ah, hello!!!!! No wonder your concerned about a second bar service. Your username says is all: Vodkaholic.

i was actually referring to the first bar service taking 4 hours to come out!!! and yes...i did have a vodka te he!! :bored:

[whatzmyname]

Also, when doing tea + coffee service in premium cabin,you ask if they would like milk and sugar,reply is no thanks, you give coffee and then they ask where is the milk?:ugh:You add the milk,then they ask for some sugar:ugh:didn't they hear when we first ask them?!

Economy;would you like beef or chix? fish! Unfortunately sir,that is not one of the choices.It's either beef or chix,no other choice. Then they look at me as if I'm the dumb one?!

or when they open small closets looking for a toilet.....:cool: and when they find the toilet they stare at it expecting it to just open for them when there is a big sign that says 'PUSH'. Or when there is a handle on that particular toilet and they ask how do I open this......probably the same way you open a door!

I'm sure we can all write a hilarious book about all these things...;)

[lexxity]

Just when you think you have heard it all. Today at check in.

Me: Are you carrying any liquids, etc in handluggage?

Pax: (Pulls out HUGE bottle of cheapy salad cream).

Me: Would you like to put that in your suitcase?

Pax: No I am going to drink it!

And with that off they went!:eek:

[ihadcontrol]

On a flight to the states last year I was sat next to a female passenger traveling with her son. They had requested vegetarian meals and the first meal service were given this. Later in the flight we all got a sarnie style pack-lunch box but all the meals were ham sarnies.

Her: I’m sorry I pre-booked vegetarian meals for my son and myself, do you have anything else?

CC: (gave the lady a funny look) it’s fine for you, its only ham.

She took it just to look polite she told me later. Perhaps the altitude was getting to him!

[William Whizz]

whatzmyname (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=165760) lol I have had the same situation, as if they've never seen a door and a handle in their whole life!!!!!

[William Whizz]

Ages ago, I was working for an airline, both charter and schedule. So when schedule we had a curtain to separate first clase, but we took it of when charter, and we just put it in an overhead locker.

One day disembarking a charter flight we realise this lady leaving the a/c with one of the curtains as a shawl. So we made her aware of it, and then she just said: " Oh I thought it was my shawl" but didn't even have one with her!!!! And Imagine the curtain, blue, with big letters in yellow saying Air Europa!!!! Lovely shawl

[sinala1]

Lexxity that is disgusting! :yuk:

Hahahahaha ah, the glamour of the airline industry ;)

[JUL13]

yesterday when we went out with the bar, i said "would you like any drinks or snacks from the bar"

lady said "yeah what you got?" :ugh: (look in the mag!!!)

i listed everything until she stopped me with "what have you got for kids"

i said "pepsi, lemonade, ginger ale, fruit shoot, j20 .."

she said "have you got Fanta?"

No, (then listed the orange drinks we have)

"have you got sprite?"

"no the nearest to sprite is lemonade"

"is lemonade fizzy?"

:confused:

i thought she was winding me up....doesnt everyone know what lemonade is....

my colleague said "what does she think we do when we're in the galley - sit handsqueezing lemons for people!!!"

[AR1]

Economy;would you like beef or chix?

I'm not sure exactly who this is taking the rise out of, but..I was on the Northwest Vintage Collection in 1991, and the 'Stewardess' (sorry , but thats what I grew up with) was handing out the inflight meal. Advancing down the Aisle she turned to me and said in a Northwest drawl "Chicken ya Bastard?"

Uh? What, I gagged in shock ( I know the fight was cheap love but theres no need for that I thought)

Chicken or P-A-A-H-S-T-A ; Oh PASTA!

I'll take the chicken. I reiterated the story to my colleagues, and some months later they also flew NWA, and burst out laughing when they were offered the same fare, they confirmed the misheard words were quite similar.

And finally.. A gag (an old one). Years ago I was flying BA DC10 (ex BCal) and after the meal the lady said 'Lick yours sir' - I was just reaching down, when she handed me a Baileys!

[William Whizz]

JUL13 lol lol lol

I know that sensation!! I now ask them very politely, what do you feel like having?? When they say it, if we don't have it I find something similar. End of silly questions!!!! lol lol

[BaronChotzinoff]

And finally.. A gag (an old one). Years ago I was flying BA DC10 (ex BCal) and after the meal the lady said 'Lick yours sir' - I was just reaching down, when she handed me a Baileys!

That reminds me of another old gag:- How does a nymphomaniac hold her liqueur (or is it liquor) - By the ears.

[Bushfiva]

doesnt everyone know what lemonade is....

No. It's not "fizzy" in all countries, just in the same way it's not made with lemons in many countries. Same with orange juice, cider/cidre and many other drinks. You're probably aware, but may have forgotten, that if someone specifically asks for a Sprite, then they're from a culture which expects lemonade to be still, made from lemons.

[warkman]

Or how about Cider, alcoholic in the UK, non-alcoholic in the USA

[JUL13]

i genuinely didnt know that about lemonade!!

you'd think a typical british holiday maker would think the same as me especially if they are not well travelled...(as i'm not :sad:)

[Bushfiva]

i genuinely didnt know that

I forgive you. Hot coke with ice, please.:}

[Abusing_the_sky]

Last day on early shift, and since it was my last day it had to be the longest, GRO-EMA-BGY-EMA. Let me tell you, that IS a long day and of course you'll pray you have nice pax.
Anyway, boarded, closed doors, safety demo, took off.. Like we all do. Started service once released from our J/S (me and my colleague started from the overwing to the back galley). So as it's part of our jobs, we asked everyone "any drinks or snaks".. you know, the usual. Nothing exciting so far.

Row 21. A-child, B-mother, C-child and D-father.
Mother (looking very nice, pretty face, well dressed...) : What have you got? (bare in mind she had the inflight magazine opened at the menu page!!!)
Me:Sandwiches, hot food, cold drinks,hot drinks, sweets... (smiling). Everything is on the menu.
Mother (with that "oh i'm so posh and i can talk down to the FA cause she's just a trolly dolly" tone in her voice) : I'm sure my children don't like most of all things you got here. What else have you got?
Me: i'm really sorry but we have in the bars just what's on the menu.
Mother: Yeah... i'll have the sour cream pringles for the boys and i'll have a tea.
I served her, gave the kids the pringles, made her the tea, asked her milk and sugar with the tea (still thinking maybe she's a nice person...)
Mother: Yes ( no "yes please") and honey and lemon, not to much honey
Me (still trying to realise when did i do the transition from working for a low fares cost airline to Virgin or BA business class or hey, maybe i was working now on a private Citation10!): I'm very sorry but we are not catered with honey or lemon, just the milk and the sugar.
Mother (getting visibly annoyed): I don't want the tea now. I want a coffee with cream
Me: I'm very sorry but we don't have cream either
Mother: Fine!Just leave it on my tray table
So i did. She gave me the money and we moved on. Finished the service, and then DING (call bell, Mother in 21B)
Me: Yes please
Mother: I want 2 more Pringles.
Me: I'll get that for you in a minute, i just need to finish something
Mother: But they want it now, i can't wait until you decide to serve me.
( At that point I was very close to lose it but hey, gotta keep my calm...)
Me: I'll be with you in a second (and walked away)
By that time my PU was half way down the cabin doing gifts, se must've been by the overwings. Ding! Call bell in row21, B... I look at my PU she makes sign she'll take it. The mother wants, yes, Pringles. My PU tells her she ran out of sour cream, but still has Plain and Salt and Vinegar. She literally shouts at my PU "But the children don't like anything but sour cream!" At that point my PU who is a lovely girl apologizes again and says that's all we have. So the mother had a propper tantrum and that was when my PU heard: coming from 21D : "Louise, will you JUST SHUT UP?" .
That was the Dad. Obviously he couldn't take it anymore and afterwards he came to the galley and apologized for his missus behaviour...
I know tis might be boring for some or for sure you experienced it as well, but what i'm trying to say is that maybe for every nasty pax there's a nice one, so somehow we still have a balance.
Next time i'm gonna tell you how a women accused me of wanting to keep her 80 pence change!!!!
Have fun out there, it's one of the best jobs in the world!:ok:

[Virginia]

You were far too nice to that woman!

More stories please!

[priapism]

From a Nancy Reagan lookalike travelling in Aus. Brekky flight full of retired U.S holiday makers. " Do you have decaffinated coffee". On the negative reply she then said "oh dear - I'll have a coke then".

[William Whizz]

I'll have a coke then".

lol lol lol typical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eastern wiseguy]

DC10 (ex BCal)


aaaaaah you can't lick the golden pussy:}:}:}

[Abusing_the_sky]

One of so many many many true inflight stories...
A while ago i received as a gift a very very expensive watch. Now i'm not one of those well too familiar girls to us that pretend to be something they're not. I really appreciated the watch and made me happy as i can't really afford such a luxury (at the moment:()
So finished the service and as we don't get float bags we rely on pax for change. What we do is write down the change if we don't have it so at the end of the service we'll give it back.
I can't remember where we were coming from but it was a long flight, think it was something like Murcia or some other holiday destination where the low fares cost pax will go to cause it's a cheap ticket...
Was walking towards the FWD galley, when a lady pulls my apron (note to self: this is happening way to often. Why are they doing this???:ugh:)
Lady: Excuse me, you owe me 80pence? (I'm thinking, "well at least she said excuse me")
Me (smiling) : Yes i know, it's all written down, i'll get that for you in a minute.
Now i would've kept my mouth shut if she wouldn't have said: "You people are all the same, you always do this. What, do you wanna keep that as your tip for the day?"
My face drops. I'm thinking at that point:
1. What did she just say?
2. It's a 2.30 hrs flight, where am i gonna go with your 80pence change?!?
3. Hmmmm.... I wonder if i have 80pence in my purse to give it to her, so i'll get one thing out of my way
4. Hey!!! She's been horrible since she got in the a/c, she moaned she didn't get the seat she wanted tho she had priority boarding (priority boarding doesn't reserve a certain seat, it's a free sitting airline, first come first served!!!) and she said the sandwiches are horrible as if i would personally bake sandwiches the night before for the flight!!!
So i just turned around, smiled and said: Excuse me , i wear a £700 Gucci watch, i don't think i need your 80 pence?!?
And moved on... to the FWD galley, from where i took a pound coin, went back to the lady who by that time had a vein coming out of her forehead looking like a scene from Piranha or Jaws ( i could actually hear that scary background music we all remember "tan am tan am tanam tanam tanamtanam) and said : "i'm sorry,we don't seem to have any small change but please take this pound coin, don't worry about the 20pence change". And winked at her. And walked away.
Now i know that i might seem a horrible person to some but tell you what: i never ever felt so good in my life. I'm actually avery nice kind girl but there's only so much cr@p i can take from pax... and when she disembarked, tho logically she would go out through the rear door as she was sat somewhere between row25 and row 30, she waited until everyone got off and walked all the way up to the L1 door, the vein still pounding like she found out Elvis and 2Pac are alive and well living next door to her doing kinky stuff to eachother while she was cutting grass with chinese chopsticks.
Please don't think i'm a nasty FA. I'm just human and i have my moments. I'm sorry in a way but boy did i feel good saying that to her!:cool:

Take care and read ya soon.
XX

[lowlypax]

"Or how about Cider, alcoholic in the UK, non-alcoholic in the USA"

Or cider in Japan which is actually a lemonade type drink. Lots of things are different there. I gave up counting after a while.

[B757-200]

"Toilet doors:
Well, maybe the airlines or manufacturers should make it more clear".

Exactly airplane toilet doors have millions of signs on them and they have even more notices and pointless stickers inside.

[JUL13]

how i howled at your 80p story!!! the amount of times pax think we're not gonna give them change!!!!

i always make a point of saying to them something like "i havent got any small change at the moment so i'll bring it down it a little while" so hopefully that puts them off thinking i'm gonna steal it..

dont yer just hate it when you lose your list with what you owe written on..:ugh:

walking down the cabin going "did i owe anyone any change":uhoh:

[Abusing_the_sky]

I can tell you've been there... :) Sure there are the nice ones who say "don't worry about it" and when you DO give them the change they say "Oh, thank you very much" and they smile at you, not expecting giving them back their 15pence change...
I swear to God next time when some bang out of order pax who thinks i'm gonna run away with their 50pence at 35.000feet up in the air, i'll just start crying " Oh no, how am i gonna pay may mortgage now, what am gonna give the kids to eat for dinner for the next 5 centuries if you're taking the 50 pence away from me???"
No matter where you are, up in the sky or on the ground, the rude ones will always remain rude. Unfortunately.
Such is life eh?
Take care. XX:)

[atmosphere]

On a flight from London to Nice, a woman pax in row one blurted out while doing the safety demo! HA a life jacket, we aren't even going over water!!!


Errrrr. and there was me thinking the UK was an island!

My response, its just incase we drop in the Thames!

Muppet

[daedalus]

Sir,

You are the kind of American that Europeans think of when tempted by the present administration to regard all Americans as ignorant bullies. God bless you, you are the saviours of the reputation of the USA.

Fortunately, many of us in Europe know that here there are an awful lot of you around and you neutralize those of your citizens who do the Republic no credit.

E pluribus unum.

:D

[stevehudd]

If juice was concentrate then it wouldnt be sold apart from in a supermarket as concentrates are very strong. Orange juice is orange juice I.E orange and water I buy pure Orange juice I.E Tropicana and wouldn't call that a concentrate as a concentrate is a syrup

[stevehudd]

I hate people like that. I am English but I would actually start speaking French or Polish just to annoy that woman because it is a free world to speak what language you like. Infact when I was in france I spoke french and wouldn't want to speak english because I like to show respect for others.

[stevehudd]

Oh Man One us air flight, the attendent said "drinks"

me "Oh can I see what you've got"

She "well tellme what you want and i'll see if ive got it"

But i wanted to see what they had so i could see if i wanted it, so i just took a good look and took it myself. They were free

[toastyhamster]

Good thread this, as a pax I can say I get very frustrated with dim people on planes. On a Virgin flight out of LHR there was an Indian lady who didn't speak much English, she had her kid with her who spoke no English at all - I'd reckon he would be about 3-4 years old. During taxiing to departure the kid would not stay in his seatbelt, and despite several warnings from the CC that the plane wouldn't depart it took off with the kid standing on his seat screaming his head off. Credit to the CC for staying patient, luckily the kid fell asleep for the rest of the journey.

Oh and to the CC who forgot the key for the portable DVD player when the entertainment system in my wifes seat went SNAFU, it was a blessing in disguise as we got a very nice voucher. Although swapping seats meant I had to sit next to the drunk comatose old lady who farted all the way over the Atlantic :-(

[DrKev]

it was a blessing in disguise as... (snip) ...I had to sit next to the drunk comatose old lady who farted all the way over the Atlantic

Assuming the farty old lady is not your wife, your use of the word "blessing" is exceptionally creative. Well done!

[robo283]

I was always told that the best way to get your own back on an engineer was to subtly place an extra bolt in their parts tray when they were dismantling an engine. When they put it back together they would find an extra bolt and then spend hours trying to find where it was missing from :E

[AngrySquirrel]

I'm a federal immigration officer here in Canada, so we see a fair number of these genetic marvels after you good folk offload them. Case in point:

Me: Have you ever been arrested anywhere in the world?
Pax: What? Oh yeah, it's a funny story - I got arrested twice on the
same day for possession of marijuana!
Me: (failing to see humour in story) Okay...how much marijuana did
you have in your possession?
Pax: You mean how much marijuana do I have on me right now?
Me: Let's go speak to my friends in Customs and their nice doggy....
(insert handcuff sound here)

[Gipsy Queen]

"It's amazing the number of crew that won't tell us if they break something. I once found one of the crew life jackets hidden away in one of the over-head stowage bins. Evidently they had somehow managed to inflate it by mistake (God only knows what they were trying to do) and then burst it with a knife from a dinner tray in an attempt to destroy the evidence." :=

Good heavens, man! - what sort of life jackets are these that can be punctured with a piece of plastic poo that won't cut my chicken? :*

GQ

[christep]

I should point out that this was when they allowed metal knives on board.They still are in most countries - it's only the ones with paranoid and incompetent "leaders" and compliant sheeple where they aren't.

[OPS1978]

when passengers say to each other look there's our plane like they own the a/c idiots

[whatzmyname]

'PilotintheMaking',I totally understand your viewpoint being an engineer. I admire that you guys have to fix so many things in such a short amount of time. I always make a point of fixing our engineers on board a tea or coffee if I have time and if the pax or not there yet. 99% of the engineers in my airline are the nicest people and they totally understand us. Unfortunately we do pour the coffee down the drain because we are too lazy to walk to the toilet with coffee pots and when we get there it is occupied.....The coffee at my airline does not leave granules (filterbags in coffee brewer) in the sink however apparently it stains the 'body' of the aircraft and that is expensive to clean. That is what they tell us anyways. In our airline it is mostly the seats that get broken. Screens that do not work.

[stevehudd]

"ops491" or whatever your username is, as i cant quote in this darn thing.

I say "there's my baby" even though I went on it a month ago. There's nothing wrong with saying it. That's just being ignorant.

[Pilot_in_the_making]

Had a good one the other day, aircraft was delayed (the famous coffee down the galley sink again:*:=), I was in a rush to sort out the fuel with the flight deck to get the aircraft away, and I was in a foul mood. A passenger stopped me as I was walking through the cabin on the upper deck to the cockpit.

The conversation went as follows:-

Pax: Why is the aircraft delayed, is there a problem with it?

Me: No madam, it's absolutely fine, we just had a blocked sink that they wanted us to clear out before the aircraft departed.

Pax: So that won't cause the aircraft to crash?

Like a blocked sink is going to cause an aircraft to drop out of the sky! :ugh:

Me: No madam, the worst that can happen if it blocks up again is the sink will overflow and make the galley floor a bit wet and slippery.

Pax: The aircraft is safe to fly then, everything is ok, it's not going to crash or anything like that?

At this point I became slightly impatient, like I'm going to send an unsafe aircraft flying with 300-400 passengers and crew on it. My sarcastic sense of humour kicked in and I said something that maybe I shouldn't have. :rolleyes:

Me: Oh definatley not madam, the aircraft is thouroughly checked over each time before it goes flying. I checked it myself and I can assure you that you have a good set of wheels, two wings and you still have three engines bolted to the wings.

Pax: I thought the 747 had four engines?

Me: It does, unfortunatly the gaffa tape that they used at the other end wasn't really up to the task, we've got the coast guard out looking for the other engine as we speek, I guess they will re-attach it the other end!

The passenger looked somewhat nervous and said: Can this aircraft actually fly on three.........

(The passenger trailed off, paused, saw the smirk on my face, looked out of the window and started laughing)

Pax: Oh you're such a tease. That was a cruel joke. :D

Me: On a serious note madam, I can assure you that we have thoroughly checked the aircraft over and we would not allow it to depart if it was unsafe.

It was very naughty of me and I shouldn't have said it, but thankfully she saw the funney side of it. If she had complained, I could have been in a lot of trouble. :=

Some people will believe just about anything!

[Seldomfitforpurpose]

"Some people will believe just about anything!"

A bit like your most of your posts PITM..........:rolleyes:

[Pilot_in_the_making]

Because this debate is becoming a bit more lengthly than I hoped, I opted to edit this post rather than add to it:-



"Some people will believe just about anything!"

A bit like your most of your posts PITM..........:rolleyes:


PITM,
Touched no nerve with me old boy as I am not CC or a civilian however my 30 odd years of aviation and flying experiance have honed my bull****ometer and reading your posts has it banging off scale quite a lot
When does the tool serviceability label say the calibration date is? It sounds like the calibration might be overdue!!!!! :p

I never thought I'd degrade myself to your level and start slagging people off on Pprune (something I always said I wouldn't do), but your posts did make me laugh, and my bull****ometer (although with less than 30 years, but probably more commercial experience than yours) is now going into overdrive. :}

I am always going to doubt the experience of anyone who states that they have been in aviation for 30 years, which is always one of the first lines that someone comes out with when they really don't have a clue about the subject. :ugh:

You state that you are not cabin crew or civilian, which rules out just about any job to do with commercial aviation. Having had a very brief look at your previous posts, you appear to be a pilot for the military, which from what I have been told from former military pilots and engineers, is very different to commercial aviation. If you have been in the military for 30 years then you are probably quite high ranking, and hence used to bossing people around, and judging by some of your posts, have a bit of an attitude problem. :=

It is interesting how up till now, you don't appear to have any experience in commercial aviation, and have not posted in any of the threads relating to commercial avaition, and then you claim to be an expert and accuse people of bulls**tting on a subject you have no clue about!

If you don't believe the sort of stories that people are telling on here, then you are very nieve about the commercial aviation industry, as in my experience, these things unfourtunatly do happen, some of them fairly regularly. However, in order to keep you happy I have deleted most of my previous posts.

If you don't like the so called ''bulls**t'' that people are posting on the commercial aviation threads, you don't have to read it if you don't want to, but don't come one here slagging people off when they are just trying to take part in a bit of friendly fun by posting their experiences, ''old boy''! :D

(I didn't know people still said that, I thought it went out the window years ago. You are showing your age). :rolleyes:

[justD]

One day a passenger dropped his watch into the toilet and was clever enough to flush it.:rolleyes:
It took about 2 hours for the engineers to get it out as pax wanted it back!!!!:ugh:
Yuck!


Not sure if it had caused the loo to block, but I really did feel sorry for that poor engineer having to take the toilet apart and dig in it for two hours!!! :sad:

[Pilot_in_the_making]

Toilets are admittedly a slightly unfourtunate and unpleasent side to the job I will admit. Really can't see why the passenger would want it back after it had been in the bog. Some people are strange. :confused:

Had an aircraft came in a few weeks ago. The crew reported a blocked sink in one of the toilets. Found that someone had removed the plug and the strainer (they just lift out on our aircraft) and then stuffed a load of carrots and a small plastic toy soldier down it. :ugh:

It does kind of make you wander what drives some people. :rolleyes:

[William Whizz]

Pilot_in_the_making (http://www.pprune.org/forums/member.php?u=179973) I do agree with you regarding some crew!! Eventhough some crew has taken it personal, it is true that some people should not be doing this job.

And I also agree that some crew don't care much about writting down the defects on the book, but they keep complaining about not being fixed! How is it going to be fixed if we don't write it down!!!

BUT LETS GO BACK TO THICK PAX which is what we like!!

The other day in a flight to larnaca we had the most weird pax!! It was like a mad house!!

One of the pax asked the purser:
Pax: what type of a/c is this?
SCCM: 767-300
Pax: no, who does it belong to?
SCCM: Company name
Pax: no, what type of a/c?
SCCM: 767-300
Pax: no, you know like BA, Virgin, etc
SCCM: Company name
Pax: no, what does it say outside on the a/c?
SCCM: Company name
Pax: no! it fu:mad: doesn't!!!!
:ugh:

[Seldomfitforpurpose]

PITM,

Touched no nerve with me old boy as I am not CC or a civilian however my 30 odd years of aviation and flying experiance have honed my bull****ometer and reading your posts has it banging off scale quite a lot :rolleyes:

[Virginia]

I once had an angry woman (well dressed and well spoken) demand my crew sandwich because we ran out of passenger sandwiches.

I worked for a low cost airline.

Yeah lady, you just have my sarnie whilst I pass out from hunger from working an 11 hour without food.

[svw8700]

Working on a CUN - LGW flight we passed through moderate clear air turbulence. The seat belt sign was on and a woman decided to go to the toilet.
I advised her that the seat belt sign was on, and to take care. She said 'I know, I am ok as I am a frequent flyer!!'
Does that make her immune for any sort of injury!?

[MrSoft]

SLF here. I was recently sitting next to a guy who tried to eat his moist towelette out in the Middle East. Quickly spat it out, into his sick bag. This was plane full of migrant workers routing Dxb-Doha on their way home, very inexperienced air travellers. Totally different crew behaviour shown towards Europeans/migrant workers. I don't know if I would call it racism. It was certainly pragmatic.

[whatzmyname]

A captain once wanted my food and complained he doesnt like the food the crew gave him. I informed him this is not airline food. I cooked this food at home and plated and heated it onboard to eat!:} This after the captain took the first class crew's sandwiches because he wasnt satisfied with the type of sandwiches that was given to him. Too much ego and selfishness!

[r.s]

Walking through the cabin this morning...

Any tea, would you like some tea, lovely cup of tea...

Pax waves their cup in my face

(Is that a "yes please, I'd love a brew")

Plonks it on my tray without a word.

I pour in the aforementioned beverage.

Pax removes cup, and states "sugar".

Arrggghhhhh

"I'm not stupid, I can understand whole sentances" but instead of saying anything I simply smiled and invited them to help themselves from the bowl on the tray.

Off I trot down the cabin when I hear pax shouting "I wanted coffee you f**king idiot"

What what what??? Now my back is up.

"What part of my saying tea, tea, tea lead you to believe I was serving coffee?"

"Don't speak to me like that, I pay your f**king wages. Go and pour this **** down the sink and get me a f**king coffee"

I stared at him, then continued on because I really didn't know what to do or say other than f**k off you f**king c**t! I now of course have thousands of cutting comebacks.

This "gentleman" was travelling with his wife and two children. What a great example to set them.

I'm not sure if this should be posted somewhere else but I'd like to know what other crew would have said / done to this guy.

[BigT2207]

R.S when he said "Don't speak to me like that, I pay your f**king wages" you should have said oh good can I have a rise then. :)

I work on the railways as I have said on another post.
And we get stupid Questions too like.

At Manchester Victoria. "Is this Train going To Leeds","Yes","Does it stop at Rochdale". Why 2 questions for one answer.

any way this is a plane forum not at a railway so I will stop there.



Big T

[Abusing_the_sky]

I take it you were way up in the sky otherwise you would've off loaded him :ouch:. next time you come across people like him you say:
A: Please mind your language, there are other people around you and i'm sure they don't appreciate it.
B: You are what we call a "disruptive pax" so carry on and we WILL have the police waiting for you on arrival
C: I am not your made nor your slave. I am here firstly for your safety in case of an emergency, then to offer you drinks (you never say "serve you drinks" cause the idiot will say that you are his servant). So technically your life is in my hands (smile.and wink, they don't like that)
D: Anything else i can get you, water, more sugar, a "Good manners " book?
Just the other day i was disembarking and this pax stops (this part has been changed after the moderator in all fairness pointed i said something i shouldn't have and he is so right) and says to me: "The landing was horrible, very poor and too bumpy"
My face drops (well my face drops when pax open their mouth roughly 400times a day...:)).I'm looking at my uniform, yup, i still wear the skirt, still have high heals, one wing...my name badge is till there, yup, i'm still a flight attendant, NOT A PILOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! So i smiled at him and said "i'll inform the Flight Deck about your comment but can i just suggest that next time you do the landing?" and continued saying "bye bye, thank you, have a nice day" to the remaining pax.
We have to addmit we have the best jobs in the world, i now a days don't get annoyed cause of Delta Foxtrots (the nice way to say Dumb F:mad:s), i just have a good laugh after my day is finished on their expense. The best way to get your own back at rude pax r.s is to smile even more and be more nice to them. :ok:
Read you soon. take care. XX

[TightSlot]

Abusing_the_sky How is the "asian" status you describe relevant to your story? Are you inviting us all to draw some sort of further conclusions from this adjective - if not, why mention it.

What are the grounds for assuming that the passenger only recently aquired a British passport? Whether true or not, how is that relevant to your story?

I'd suggest that the above comments reveal rather more about your own prejudices than about the incident described.

Let me be very clear - Racism of any kind will not be tolerated on this board: Comments such as "No discrimination here, but...." are not a get out of jail free card for racist comments.

This post has not been written for the purpose of enabling debate on this, or any other thread - so don't try. One final time - racist comments will not be tolerated.

[Abusing_the_sky]

Came out completely wrong, didn't mean to offend, it's not my place to judge people on nationality, never done it and never will do it. Just remembered someone's reply a while ago about people getting the british passport and forgetting where they came from. Bad choice of words, i apologize again.


Take care:(

[benzonar]

I find this thread very interesting, and I now find I have a whole plethora of dumb things to say to the attendants next time I fly.

Thanks folks :D

[GrahamB73]

I was just thinking that.

Any BMI CC on the Weds 53 or Thurs 60 every week keep an ear out. Chances are I'll say something daft soon (I seem to do so in other areas of life with monotonous regularity). Be interesting to see how quickly it ends up on here ;)

[robo283]

benzonar / GrahamB73,

Be sure to mention Thick Passenger Comments as your inspiration for making their day. That way they will report your words of wisdom (or otherwise) and the thread will become self-perpetuating. :D

[2close]

r.s,

Regarding your unfortunate experience with that particular breed of low life, I thought you may be interested to see how the UK military supports you and your colleagues and their particular methods of dealing with said troublemaker. Some are feasible, some not and some you would just only dream of doing. The thread is on the Army Rumour Service website (ARRSE) at:

http://www.arrse.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums/viewtopic/t=76155/postdays=0/postorder=asc/start=0.html

Personally, I don't think you should tolerate any abuse from scum who don't know how to behave themselves and any excessive bad behaviour (your experience fits neatly into the category) should be greeted on the ground by gentlemen in black uniforms staring through the sights of a H&K MP5 (preferably with the safety off). Apologies? Ram them where the sun does not shine; they should have thought about that before they gob*ed off.

[dustybin]

:Dyou are a gem for finding this, i have never laughed so hard. I like the one about beating him up with a overpriced tub of pringles and sticking a a/c model up his arse. PRICELESS!
Would like to see what the Royal Navy have got to say as they are a regular on my airline and have sticky fingers and steal emergency equipment. Cheers! and the pax blame the crew while they wait for replacements. the royal navy must have a large stock of loud speakers and life jackets:=

[GrahamB73]

the royal navy must have a large stock of ... life jackets

So many gags, so little time :D

[dustybin]

:ok:airline life jackets (smart arse)

[GrahamB73]

:D

(actually I was thinking more about being disparaging about the fishheads' competence but the sarcastic angle works well too ;))

[boardboy]

I working for a UK charter airline and over the years have met some of the funniest passengers going.

PAX: Can you explain why this flight time is so long!
ME: Excuse me sir, how do you mean so long. The flight time today is 10hrs and 20 minutes. ( we were flying LGW to Cancun in Mexico. And this was the normal flight times)
PAX: Thats a very long flight time. Is it because you are a charter airline and buy the cheaper routes compared to scheduled!:ugh:


On another longhaul flight from the Dominican Republic whilst doing the bar service.
PAX: what do you mean i have to pay for drinks. I dont pay for drinks if i fly scheduled.
Also i have been to an all inclusive resort so all drinks and meals are free.:rolleyes:

On some flights we have fun with the pilots by giving them keywords that they must get over the P.A system.
On a flight from Sanford back to Manchester we gave the pilot some very tricky words to get in. Sadly we missed the pilots actually saying them but realised they had said them when a passenger asked my "where's Clitoris Bay located. she also asked " how fast are we travelling and are the lawn mower engines going to cope".

Again there are many tales to tell

[DuDe . . . Sweet]

a few years back post 9/11 i was out of the f/d for reasons i cant remember- captain orders probably anyways the pax were boarding bearing in mind i was half talking to the captain at the time about how to turn off his mobile or something like that & in full pilot regalia minus the hat and woman aged about 40 and clearly a business woman with a brain asked me if i was a pilot and if i knew how to fly the plane, at this moment in time i was in a bad mood as the 3:00am starts were getting to me, and felt like saying no i have a pilot fetish & that this gives me thrills and this particular airline gives trained monkies control of A320's but as i had recently had but hand slapped for other comments to passengers i decided to smile sweetly an just say yes.- sorry if this sounds like a rant but how could you not miss the pilots uniform all the other pax noticed and commented on how they hoped i knew how to park the plane but anyway getting carried away- jennie xxx;)

[romeocharlie]

The scene is North Queensland in Australia, which at the moment is about 33 degrees, and fairly humid. Upon having the front door closed by ground crew in Cessna Caravan, hand on starter and sweating like mad, German lady behind me pipes up ''it's so hot in here, excuse me where do I wind down the window?'' only to be responded with retraint by ''won't be a minute madam, once I start the engine, I'll have the air-con on''

The other favourite one liner here is ''Is the reef above or below the water?''

[Abusing_the_sky]

This happened to one of my colleagues. Pax boarding, heading to the extra leg room seats where my colleague was positioned. No "hello" back, no answer to "can i help you with your bag Sir?" BUT the pax DID ask: "where's the smoking room?":ugh::ugh::ugh::}

[uroshnor]

I managed to be an extreemly stupid passenger at LBIA last week. Not flown from there before, got myself confused and asked at information how to find my way through security. Information lady said "turn round", so I did and there is a sign, practically over my head sayig "all departures" and a big black arrow....

I felt like a total and utter muppet.:O

all I can say is that I must have left my brain at home...

[romeocharlie]

Upon disembarking at Dunk Island where admittedly there is porters to take care of normal luggage, pax spies another person getting off with carry on, looks at me and says ''Oh do we have to take our hand luggage with us?''

''Unless you'd like your hand luggage back in Cairns, I'd say that's a good idea''

[Hover Overviewer]

Some of these are very amusing but having worked for an airline are you guys really in a position to make fun of your own bread and butter. I have worked with some super cabincrew, but I have also worked with some total arses who have struggled to string two comprehensible words together without saying like and so between those two words and not making much sense or the PA's which have 20 second gaps in them as they don't really know what they are saying without referring to the manual. So leave off you bread and butter and take a look at yourselves first.

[Dea Certe]

Hover,

Relax a bit! People are funny. Some people don't get out much and get a little flustered in what, to them, is a unfamiliar environment. Everyone does silly things from time to time. I believe there was a thread about embarrassing things cabin crew has done to themselves recently.

I don't laugh at them, I just laugh near them! :}

Dea

[sinala1]

Hover Overviewer this thread has been on pprune a lot longer than you have... many times we have reiterated the fact that this is nothing more than a therapy thread for those of us who spend our days inside a highspeed metal tube - no malice intended by anyone - just sit back and enjoy it! :)

[dscartwright]

>I still love when the pax go to the bathroom, and they look at the door in a state of confusion and
>try opening the door with the ashtray, or lifting the door handle up. I roll my eyes every time. lol.

Yeah, but to be fair it's sometimes not obvious. I was on an XL B767 the other day and the toilet door latch was pretty knackered; when closed the middle (hinge) of the door protruded slightly, suggesting that it might open that way. Combined with the "PUSH" notice on the handle where the colour was worn away, and the fact that you had to give it a fairly hefty shove to get it to move this meant that most of us tried pulling at some point.

>Walking on the aircraft trying to figure out which seats are ABC DEF, the concentration required...
Particularly when, as was the case with a BA B747 I flew back from the US on a while back, the seat you're allocated doesn't exist. (I think the check-in computer had been told we were on a different model - my row was by an exit and there were two seats where there would otherwise have been three, with me allocated to the "missing" one).

>It's strange but I find that loads of people turn dumb when they go on holiday. Maybe it's because they are more relaxed than usual?
Or, if it's an early departure, half-asleep. I had an early start from LGW this Spring - leaving home at midnight for three hours' drive then another couple of hours waiting to board addled the brain rather.

>Perhaps there is scope for a 'Thick Media Comments' thread..
Definitely. On the BBC news yesterday there was a feature about a taxying prang at LHR between a BA747 and something smaller. Although all such accidents must obviously be taken serioualy, the BBC reporter actually managed to compare it in seriousness to the terrible accident at Tenerife some years back (which, of course, was a take-off accident caused by the departing aircraft doing so without clearance).


>In the most extreme case, I flew with debonair (remember them?!) operating on behalf of LH.
>As we deplaned, an extremely rude German guy ripped into the purser, telling her that the service was terrible.
I was flying BA Club World last April and Brian (our delightful CC) asked if I'd fill in a customer service questionnaire. "Of course", said I. A few minutes later, as I ticked my boxes, he came past to refill my wine glass. "Brian," said I with a smile, "is there one R or two in 'terrible'?". His initial shock subsided after a couple of seconds into a grin and a "you rotten sod" when he realised I was taking the p**s.

>The seat belt sign was on and a woman decided to go to the toilet.
Ten out of ten to the XL B767 staff I flew with the other day to Larnaca. It was pretty turbulent, and the seatbelt sign was on (as a long-term SLF I've seen two or three pax ignore the sign and get themselves dented over the years). The first couple of "please sit down" announcements were polite. The third was equally polite, but made in such a tone as to make it sound more like: "Sit down, you cretin, or I'll pour boiling oil down your trousers".
A bit like the United Airlines captain at Washington DC a few years ago. As we were taxying to the stand after landing, people started to get up and unload their stuff from the overhead bins, despite requests to the contrary from the CC. All of a sudden we stopped. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain. The cabin crew tell me you're up on your feet when you shouldn't be. The seatbelt light is on for your safety, not my entertainment. We're staying right here until you all sit down".

Like many others who read this forum, I appreciate the CC every time I fly. Keep smiling, y'all - at least some of the SLF know what you're faced with!

David C

[Ace Rimmer]

Ok here's one from a couple of weeks back; Mrs R and I have been off on our hols and have a tight connection for onward trip over the pond. Our internal US flight gets a bit delayed so it's all a bit dicey on the making the connection front...(hey ho we miss it we miss it xrta days hol) any how maximum legging it and scamper aboard in the nick of time make our way to seats as assigned a pair window aisle down the back on arrival tfind that they are occupied by another couple.

Me: I'm sorry but you appear to be in our seats...

Woman: I have to sit by a window, I'm a diabetic

Silent Bob: ......

Me: Okaaaaaaaayyyyyyy, that's very interesting but you will find that these are our seats (show boarding card stub)

Woman: I'M A DIABETIC!

Silent Bob:....

Me (somewhat unsure of the connection between being diabetic and needing a window seat/aisle combination): well I'm scared of flying...

MrsR: ( Quick as a flash and this is just another reason why I know I married the right girl) "and he's a pilot so as you might imagine that's something of a disability..."


Epilogue: Diabetic woman and silent bob retain the Rimmerian seats meanwhile Rimmers relocated to...1A &B ah justice....after all