Why Nobody Likes RAF Police

[Rocket Chucker]

Nice one Wilders. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Being a Rock I was usually on the receiving end a great deal of caustic comment - but hey ho life still goes on and if you take it too seriously you'll wind up in the rubber room.

:ok:

[ORAC]

Hmmm,

Many moons ago, at RAF Buchan, I ran a Lotus Europa. This was capable of driving under the barrier while it was in the down position, which, I admit, I did with great glee. When they complained I pointed out aht if I could, so could the bad guys, and they should sort it out.

They´re first solution was to open the barrier when they saw me coming. At which stage I then started to stop and ask them to drop it again before proceeding.

They´re second solution was to add a speed bump underneath. Result? Front wheels went up and down, roof went under, back wheels went up and down.

Took around 3 months before they added an extension to the bottom of the barrier.

(They did complain, but OC Ops thought it was hysterical.)

As you say, happy days........ :}

[midsomerjambo]

I know most posts on this thread (where an opinion has been expressed) have been of the view that it was the snot-nosed 17/18yo LAC A/Cpl that gave the RAFP a bad name, and in general I wouldn't disagree. However, as a 1st year apprentice technician at a training unit not a million miles from Wolverhampton in the mid-70s, I had my one and only experience of the RAFP SIB that coloured my opinion of them for the rest of my time in the service. I'm sorry, but this isn't particularly funny. :(

A junior NCO with whom I was acquainted due to my frequenting of a certain sports facility provided by the station, had had some rather unsavoury allegations of a sexual nature made against him by a young trainee. I knew nothing at all about this, but the SIB were called in to investigate the allegation and I was informed by my flight commander that I was required to attend an interview with them. Prior to the interview, I was given no indication by anyone as to the nature of the investigation or the interview and in my humble position I didn't think it my place to ask. At the time, I was a few months shy of my 18th birthday and had never so much as seen a scuffer (only MoD Plod at this station), so as you can imagine, I was $h1tting myself. I duly attended the interview which was conducted by an RAFP flight sergeant and corporal. I was not at any time offered any representation, and never asked for any as it never occured to me that I might benefit from it.

I was asked if I knew what I was there for. Daft question really - I imagine they'd instructed my flight commander not to tell me anything. They then launched into a diatribe about Cpl. X saying that they had rock solid evidence that he was queer and that I must know, and did I want to tell them anything. This was a complete bolt from the blue and I didn't know what to say. I told them I knew nothing about it, which was absolutely the case. They repeated that I must know something and if I didn't tell them everything it would be the worse for me. They implied, not very subtly, that they thought I was covering up for Cpl. X and that was because I was probably queer too. They said that they could get me chucked out for this and they would if I didn't come clean. It might sound silly now, but back then I believed in their capability and intent 100%. However, I really didn't know anything and although I was almost in tears (almost?) and in dire need of a change of underwear, I wasn't about to make something up. This went on for about 45 minutes and then it ended as soon as it began, with their parting shot "you'll be hearing from us". Oh, if only we knew then what we know now!

I spent the next month or so worried sick wondering when I would get the call. Eventually, I was summoned to my flight commander's office to explain why the standard of my work had gone through the floor. I told him about the interview and his response was "I was told afterwards they accepted you didn't know anything - didn't they tell you at the time?". However, he didn't seem very keen to follow it up, and I wasn't about to push it.

So I (at the time, not much more than a child really) had been put through hell for, as I saw it, no good reason by two bullies who had then left me to spend the next month wondering when I would be served with my discharge papers. It may be standard interviewing technique - I wouldn't know, but I think it was inexcusable. And Cpl. X? He was never charged but was posted sharpish to a former navy station in the frozen wastes of the north where they taught our steely-eyed pilots to ride large south-american cats.

[Raven30]

That is eerily similar to an experience I had in the 80s at the hands of the SIB. The allegation in my case was drugs although at the time I was not told what they were investigating, merely that if I didn't own up and provide them with more names, then my short career was well and truly over. Given that I hadn't a clue why I had been dragged out of my quarter, I was bricking it! Even thought about confessing to taking home a few service issue biros to see if that was what they were hunting for! Yes, I was fairly naive, having kept my nose clean the whole of my short working life. I spent a couple of hours in the guardroom - most of it being left to contemplate my fate. Eventually I managed to get the so called investigating officer to re check my details because I was convinced they had pulled the wrong person. 30 minutes later they released me - warning me that this was an ongoing investigation, and if I muttered a word to anybody they would pull me back in and throw the book at me again! Turns out that the person who had been implicated shared the same surname as me. Trouble was, my christian name initial featured 2 places before his in the alphabet, so I was the one dragged in. Basic stuff really. No apology, nothing.
The worst aspect of this was that next morning, still angry about the whole shambles,I reported it to my section warrant. He was disgusted and we trotted off to the Wing Commanders office to complain and hopefully get an apology or at least an acknowledgement that they had f***ed up from the RAFP. OC Ops happened to be one of the most unpleasant officers in the branch and promptly tore me off a strip for being involved and told me I was lucky no further action was being taken!
The banter on both sides in this thread is amusing, but after my experience am left in no doubt about the professional capabilities of a good proportion of this branch. In 20 odd years, I saw many examples of unprofessional conduct by other members of their branch(trying to get a 5 year old to admit on the doostep that daddy had been drinking and driving!!), and although many no doubt did a lot of good work, its always the a***holes who provide the lasting impressions. I still do not trust them and never will.

[SaddamsLoveChild]

There is a small minority in most trades that let the rest down, but in my 22 years in the service this bunch are let down by the majority. Now a few years ago whilst going through the lobotomy college in Lincolnshire I formed a close relationship with a delightful lady :ok: . One evening we were having an 'al fresco' moonlit tumble near the Qaboos when a bunch of plods pitched up unannounced having heard some noise. Picking up our clothes we did a runner in different directions and lost them temporarily until having waited a while cut I through the carpark and was immediately detained by an overweight policeman with an over inflated opinion. He asked me what I was doing as I was in a state of semi undress but carrying a ladies pair of boots. I told him I had been to a fancy dress party and he said that he didnt believe me as he had heard screaming on the rugby pitch (I wasnt that good but it was a quiet night). He then asked me where the lady was, i didnt know and he then arrested me for suspected rape!!!

I shat myself and managed to convince him and his mates that had pitched up that if the lady concerned had not gone through the carpark then she must be behind me or hiding in the vicinity. Well after a little search a dishevilled and semi undressed lady was found hiding under a car. Upon coaxing her out, the RAF Policemen said in his most reassuring voice "are you ok love, what were you doing hiding under the car, did this man attack you", her reply whilst drawing herself to her full height in Bra and jeans was priceless..........."Dont you ever play hide and seek with your wife Cpl?"

He let us go much to his chagrin and assured me that no report would be made.......................3 days later we were both on Wg Cdrs review, she was threatend with complete recourse and I with return to the ranks. Now I had had 13 yrs previous evasion of HM RAFP, she had just joined and a salutory lesson learnt.

They are never there when you need them and they are always there when you dont. That said, there are still a minority that do a good job, but the true minority are of the good Commissioned flavour. I havent noticed any out here that are contributing either - :ugh:

[Top West 50]

...AHEM may I remind you not to confuse your rank with my authority.. NOW, WHERE WOZ I

or

Upon confronting a bedside locker labelled APO K**t in the middle of the South Cerney parade ground on a cold December night (c1963 so no names eh!) and observing that the "locker" was emitting sounds like "let me out," Acting Cpl Plod observed that the occupant of the locker may well be an APO K**t - complete mystery to us Cpl we replied!

Happy days (but dont get me started - I could go on for ever about the idiots!)

[PompeySailor]

That is eerily similar to an experience I had in the 80s at the hands of the SIB. The allegation in my case was drugs although at the time I was not told what they were investigating, merely that if I didn't own up and provide them with more names, then my short career was well and truly over. Given that I hadn't a clue why I had been dragged out of my quarter, I was bricking it! Even thought about confessing to taking home a few service issue biros to see if that was what they were hunting for! Yes, I was fairly naive, having kept my nose clean the whole of my short working life. I spent a couple of hours in the guardroom - most of it being left to contemplate my fate. Eventually I managed to get the so called investigating officer to re check my details because I was convinced they had pulled the wrong person. 30 minutes later they released me - warning me that this was an ongoing investigation, and if I muttered a word to anybody they would pull me back in and throw the book at me again! Turns out that the person who had been implicated shared the same surname as me. Trouble was, my christian name initial featured 2 places before his in the alphabet, so I was the one dragged in. Basic stuff really. No apology, nothing.
The worst aspect of this was that next morning, still angry about the whole shambles,I reported it to my section warrant. He was disgusted and we trotted off to the Wing Commanders office to complain and hopefully get an apology or at least an acknowledgement that they had f***ed up from the RAFP. OC Ops happened to be one of the most unpleasant officers in the branch and promptly tore me off a strip for being involved and told me I was lucky no further action was being taken!
The banter on both sides in this thread is amusing, but after my experience am left in no doubt about the professional capabilities of a good proportion of this branch. In 20 odd years, I saw many examples of unprofessional conduct by other members of their branch(trying to get a 5 year old to admit on the doostep that daddy had been drinking and driving!!), and although many no doubt did a lot of good work, its always the a***holes who provide the lasting impressions. I still do not trust them and never will.

Common experience across the Services, I'm afraid. When the green Burton's besuited SIB come calling, they are possibly the most unprofessional groupI have come across. Threats are not uncommon, and outright refusal to provide legal counsel has been experienced before the tape gets turned on. The only bonus now is that many people are far more aware of their legal rights and don't simply cough because the SNCO tells them to - or downright lies to them. Took me 10 years to realise that there was more than just "Guilty" or "Not Guilty" - you can refuse to make a plea which involves them having to supply witnesses and evidence for the officer presiding to make a decision based on what he sees in front of him.

Fact - when I worked for another unit, we were left in possession of hundreds of interview tapes, records of seizures (many illegal), and evidential records which seemed to carry lots of corrections and modifications. These tapes were to do with interviews for homosexuality before it became not-illegal-in-the-forces. These tapes contained coercion, bullying, harassment, threats, and were in no way legal interviews. When it was discovered that we had these tapes, we had to have a mass destruction, which involved chucking the whole lot in a skip, covering them in lighter fuel, and torching them. Because the uniformed staff refused point blank to do this, they brought in civilians to do it - and the SIB big stick was waved once more. We had the whole HMS Dryad episode, including the way that they were playing people against each other with "evidence" of relationships - such as being seen in the same car.

Perhaps, now they will become tri-Service police, the standards will improve, but I fear they will drop to the lowest common denominator. Says a lot when the unofficial slogan is "Never Succumb to Malice - but never forget a face."

[FormerFlake]

Perhaps, now they will become tri-Service police, the standards will improve, but I fear they will drop to the lowest common denominator. Says a lot when the unofficial slogan is "Never Succumb to Malice - but never forget a face."

They need to be lot more like the Army's Cpl. Jo McDonagh, nothing comes close.

[Samuel]

Well, dare I say it? I actually got on alright with the plods, but then I was an affable type of airman who got on with everyone really. I did, however, have two experiences with them, one uniformed and one with what I presumed to be SIB. The latter was at Cottesmore in the days of white Victors when, for no reason at all, I was removed from my post on the airfield and transported to the Guardroom and ushered into an office occupied by two unsmiling types wearing suits.I was then asked how long I had been an associate of a mate who happened to be Irish, and reminded I had been seen drinking with him! As he was in my section and on the same crew and in the same accommodation block, I was somewhat mystified by the stupidity of the observation. The airman in question was kicked out of the RAF for whatever reason, but later appeared back on Station working for the works and bricks people!

On another occasion, this time in the RNZAF on a Canberra unit at Tengah, I was driving my four-year-old Ford Zodiac [Kiwis always had flash cars at Tengah!] down from the airfield when I noticed a Landrover behind me with a blue light flashing and apparently trying to overtake, so I pulled over.I was promptly directed to follow them to the Guardroom. Again, I was escorted into the office of the OC Cops, who demanded to know where the camera was [they had searched my car it would seem!].Being somewhat wiser in those days, and as a member of a 'foreign' air force, I politely asked what he was on about and why was I there and if I was to be there much longer, could I phone my CO? Somewhat calmer, I was advised I had been seen taking photos on the flight line [of Javelins?]. I pointed out that his argument was flawed because, [a]I hadn't actually been on the flight line and that [b], I didn't own a camera. Some nervous coughs from the two arresting plods, and a quick discussion and it turned out the 'photographer' was someone on 64 Sqn, and authorised!:D

On a more humorous note; we were crossing the 45 Sqn pan one very dark night after some very generous hospitality from 45 to 14, and were stopped by a very large policeman and an equally large dog,[why do dogs always look bigger at night?]. My mate, an equally large Maori guy, promptly leaned forward toward the dog and said, "G'day Corporal".

They weren't all bad and , what is it they say today, "over-empowered"?

[Wilders85]

I empathise completely with your sentiments. During my time I have witnessed and unfortunately participated in some of the antics described. But, in some defence of their position, the procedures taught to the younger elements of the RAFP, and I am going back to the 70’s and 80’s, were standard operating procedures taught at the Police School. So as you will appreciate, any young LAC/SAC ACPL aged 17 to 20 would not have the common sense and general life and job experience to police a military establishment.

On the one hand the MOD encourages their employees to be aggressive, teaches them to inflict damage on others and yet expects them to be good little boys and girls after a Friday night in the Malcolm Club/Sgts Mess/Officers Mess after several “Dry” months in theatre. The novices in the trade (And novice could mean RAFP with several years service stood on the gate at Brampton or other similar places) don’t stand a chance in dealing with these situations. That requires common sense, logic, empathy, a big slice of turning a blind eye (so you are not scoring brownie points off others) and an understanding of what fellow RAF have been tasked to do. This is not just a RAF problem. Ask any civil police or the RMP. Imagine being at Aldershot or Colchester when the Para’s return. It is absolute mayhem yet few squaddies end up in front of the bench. The local cops know the problems and react accordingly. The only ones that face the wrath of S69 AFA or AA were those that cannot be persuaded to go home quietly and rest or get lively even in the back of a blue light taxi (By the way I was a fully paid up member of the taxi drivers association at Wilders).

What I am trying to say is that the RAFP of the 70’s and 80’s did have problems. They were at times autocratic and inflexible. However, you cannot blame the young lads on the gate. They were doing what they were told. The people you have to challenge are the shift Sgts, FS and the Oi/c Police. After all they were the Managers of the Section. Unfortunately the Managers were themselves of a bygone age. At that time it was not unknown to take 15 to 20 years to make Sgt. When I got my third after 8 years I was ridiculed by many of the old guard.

Midsomerjambo raises a valid point about investigation techniques. In my days there was paranoia about sexuality. And to my shame I have been involved in such investigations and subsequent prosecutions. All I will say is that the regulation at the time required this investigation although the techniques used were dubious. The SIB were trained in exactly the same techniques as the Civilian CID. Things changed dramatically in 1985 with the introduction of PACE. (Thumb screws withdrawn), and the introduction of a more humane treatment of accused.

Pompeysailor identifies other issues, not just with the RAFP but I assume with the Navy Regs. Nothing you have posted surprises me. I hope that the introduction of the tri service police rectifies these issues but I am not optimistic.

Well I have certainly opened myself up for assassination in this post. So fill your boots.

I look forward to your opinions

Regards to all

[Roadster280]

Interesting thread. But how many respondents are either (ex/current) aircrew or even (ex/current) RAF? (Commissioned or other)

It appears that a lot of hangers on are posting here. People with limited Knowledge or understanding of RAF Life in general.



Wilders, I have to say, I think your posts have been very balanced and thought out. I do however, feel the need to answer your above comment.

The forum itself has terms of reference of :"A forum for the professionals who fly the non-civilian hardware, and the backroom boys and girls without whom nothing would leave the ground. Army, Navy and Airforces of the World, all equally welcome here."

So to that end, (and I deliberately use the mild-jibe banter nouns here), you'll find, variously, Matelots, Crabs, Pongos, Spams, Kiwis, Aussies, Canucks, etc etc.

The main thing is, they all have (or had) a professional interest in military aviation.

For myself, I am a retired pongo. I served with the RAF at Upavon and Brize, in 244 Sig Sqn(AS), a subordinate unit of TCW (at the time). I was a MAOT. So I feel qualified under the "backroom boys" part of the brief. My time at 244 was some of the most rewarding operational work I did in the Army. I gained an understanding (and respect) for the RAF, FAA and AAC. HQ 1Gp MAOTs were often tasked to assist the other three services. I also lived, worked and breathed light blue air for two years. Not long, I agree. But it was the best posting I ever had. The HQ of 1Gp was at Upavon. Half of the NCO complement on the station were snowdrops. Most of them excellent guys. The odd knobber, of course.

I left the forces five years ago, and now live in the US. I fly as civilian pax extremely frequently. I've a vested interest in aviation, even now. I also have a vested interest in tempering the often US-goading comments on here. occasionally, like everyone else, I lose it. But mostly, I'd like to think I'm contributing to cerebral discussion on matters affecting (military) aviation.

Welcome to the forum.

[clicker]

One thing this thread has shown is that this is a love-hate relationship.

Some "Love to Love", after all not all plod's are single with no kids. :E
Some "Hate to Hate", yes there's a many a kind soul with a white hat. :ok:
Some "Hate to Love", you guessed it. Some plod's are single etc. :ugh:
Some "Love to Hate", at times we all hit that frame, don't we! :{

Whatever "suits you, sir" just be glad we are all not the same. :D

[TwoBoats]

I am new to posting on this site, only my second.:uhoh:
I have read with interest all the comments on this thread, some good some downright bad and not banter in anyway shape or form.
I served the the RAF as a plod and left as a SNCO, now in the civ pol and have been for 13 years and the attitude of some is the same.
"You can't please all of the people all of the time" That's just one phrase that springs to mind. I have read what Wilders85 has said and he has put across a very balanced and, dare I say it, an educated and informed viewpoint.:D
On the subject of over zealous young A/Cpls, I completed 2 tours at the RAF Police School whilst it was at Newton in the 80's and whilst there dispensed with the services of more than one so called instructor, on the Basic Provost Training Flt, for a number of reasons from being crap themselves through to inappropriate behavious with female trainiee's.:=
I tried to use the maxim that you treat people the way you expected and deserved to be treated yourself. You can always turn the screw if need be but jump in with both feet and walk away with your head in your hands. As an instructor, as some of you may be yourselves, what happens after training is beyond your control. the scariest thing for me was if A/Cpl XX was a tosser, the first question would be, "Who the hell was your instructor?". Say no more about that.
Yes there are good and bad, but the management structure must take some responsibility. I can remember saying to my Boss, a young inexperiened, newly trained and commisioned Fg Off, (ex JT who wanted to get his own back), that it was my responsibility to guide and advise junior officers in the ways, traditions and ethics of the service. The door shut and the guidance was administered. To his credit he was honest enough to accept it. The section went from strength to strength as did our standing on the unit.:)
Yes there are too many RAFP who waltz around as if they are civ pol, I say come and do it and me a break please. Come and deal with all the crap and s**t we have to put up with, I wish I was still back - barrier up, barrier down.
It's nice to think you keep the unit safe and all those people sleeping in their beds and to an extent the RAFP do that, deterrent value alone, but lets not get carried away. The sole purpose of the RAF is to fly aircraft in time of war, keep that in your mind also, but please those of you who are aircrew and aircraft technicians, drop the prima donna attitude I remember, maybe that way everyone might get on.
By the way the banter is great, love it, sadly it is disappearing from the civ pol too....:{
Hope this reply makes sense and being a thick plod I have got my thoughts across, if not tough. On another subject we all have stories to relate - me included ..... :=
TwoBoats stands back and waits for incoming ... stab vest on, CS spray loaded, kwickuffs at the ready, PR24 drawn and ready for super strike ...:ok:

[jonny5]

Well done to all who put I SPrY firmly in his place! he hasnt been back, or maybe the biscuits and cakes were weighing him down!

[tmmorris]

Last week on a Secret Yorkshire Pointy Things Base, I actually had a cadet who wants to be an RAF Plod when he grows up. He was sent for an hour and a half's chat with the RAFP and came back enthusiastic. So there are at least some people who love them...

Tim (who likes to put the Camp into 'Camp Commandant')

[PompeySailor]

Last week on a Secret Yorkshire Pointy Things Base, I actually had a cadet who wants to be an RAF Plod when he grows up. He was sent for an hour and a half's chat with the RAFP and came back enthusiastic. So there are at least some people who love them...

Tim (who likes to put the Camp into 'Camp Commandant')

So, they gave him the chat about CSI-like forensics, computer hacking, huge drugs investigations, dawn raids on accommodation blocks, fast car chases.

Or did they mention "barrier up, barrier down"?

[Rocket Chucker]

I'm chuffed to ***k this threads back on the front page - I love to hear the plods get theirs!!!

Bring it on chaps!

[TwoBoats]

Another uality constructive, objective comment - well done rocket chucker :D

[Lara crofts pants]

Well done TwoBoats - you put it back on the top again.
Ooops, so did I

[Affirmatron]

I had an interview with the Feds once, and was amazed at their interview technique. Whilst I answered their questions in my usual evasive manner, one of them was knodding encouragement when I was wriggling off the hook, and then glaring at me when I was saying something that might be self-incriminating. They really helped me out, making sure what I said on the tape would be transcribed in the best way :ok:

Outcome? All charges dropped, career saved.

[mukit]

because they are all, without exception, W@nkers!!

[Tombstone]

Another uality constructive, objective comment - well done rocket chucker :D

Anything that puts the plod slating thread back at the top of the list is a quality post!!

I think that it's obvious when reading this thread that the only peoply who don't hate RAFP are... RAFP.

It is undeniable, apparently, that the RAFP do carry out some important work (imagine having to get out of you car & press the 'barrier up' button every time you came through the gate, especially during the winter) however, this work is far far far outweighed by the number of absolute kn*bbers in the trade.

On a visit to Spadeadam, I was stopped by a RAFP who had been allowed out, all on his own, with a speed gun. Although I was indeed driving above the speed limit (45 in a 40), I had infact carried out the horrific offence on a civilian road leading up to the range.

"Excuse me sir, as I'm sure you're aware, this is a 40mph zone & I've just clocked you at 45. Although I'm not going to take any action this time etc etc... drive more carefully etc etc... should be setting an example etc etc."

At which point my passenger interrupted, "Sorry cpl, may I interrupt?"

RAFP "Of course sir."

Passenger, pointing his finger further up the road, "Why don't you have a cup of shut the f:mad:k up & get yourself back onto MoD property!"

Our little RAFPs face was a picture as he turned and realised he was standing on the wrong side of the 'MoD Property' sign. :=

Didn't even have the brains to double check that he was clean as a whistle before locking & loading his ray gun. T:mad:T!!!!

[movadinkampa747]

because they are all, without exception, W@nkers!!
Armourers and coppers? Not much between them really. Bit like their ears.:cool:

[Shjustme]

How many of you lot are ex flying lootenants, ex sqn ldrs or ex wingcos who had to leave HM employment earlier than you had planned because you had reached your ceiling of competence in your jobs, as explained very thoroughly in your annual confidential reports by your station commanders of yesteryear ?
Just wondering, of course :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[ZH875]

How many of you lot are ex flying lootenants, ex sqn ldrs or ex wingcos who had to leave HM employment earlier than you had planned because you had reached your ceiling of competence in your jobs, as explained very thoroughly in your annual confidential reports by your station commanders of yesteryear ?
Just wondering, of course :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:At least they managed to reach a ceiling of competence.

Barrier up, errr what's next.

[Danny_Boy]

How many of you lot are ex flying lootenants,

Errr, I'm not sure I know any flying lootenants, either ex or still serving. Get your BOAC to read through your post before you click 'submit' next time.

[TwoBoats]

Danny_Boy - I think it was a p**s take ;)

[TwoBoats]

Barrier up - barrier down

"Oh sorry sir, did the barrier hit the bonnet of your car whilst you demanded I salute you

Tops - you deserve it you pr**k.:D

Now f**k off and stop bothering my Cpls

Certainly Mr P******, says Plt Off Knob, I seem to remember them saying anything else.

No F**k little boy and come back when you have some time in, and then I will still chew your arse!!!!!! and did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:ok:


Ahhh the beauty of being a RAFP WO - wonderful and memorable - want some more stories? Got loads and loads !!! However, be careful, open Pandora's Bix and you may regret what you have done and what you get ...... :{


:ok: :E :D

[Now a 'J' Bloke!!]

Ahhh the beauty of being a RAFP WO - wonderful and memorable -


Dear Two Bics;

You MUST have been very nice to the brains on the chain to reach the heady heights of Chief Barrier Operator!!!:ok:

More LAter;
'J' Bloke...:cool:

[Maple 01]

barrier stories.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh how I wish I'd joined the big brave RAFP and got to act as a jumped-up little Nazi

-still, keeps the topic near the top, so can't be all bad

[PompeySailor]

Barrier up - barrier down

"Oh sorry sir, did the barrier hit the bonnet of your car whilst you demanded I salute you

Tops - you deserve it you pr**k.:D

Now f**k off and stop bothering my Cpls

Certainly Mr P******, says Plt Off Knob, I seem to remember them saying anything else.

No F**k little boy and come back when you have some time in, and then I will still chew your arse!!!!!! and did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:ok:


Ahhh the beauty of being a RAFP WO - wonderful and memorable - want some more stories? Got loads and loads !!! However, be careful, open Pandora's Bix and you may regret what you have done and what you get ...... :{


:ok: :E :D

Up to the normal standard then. Is the RN the only Service which requires Warrant Officers to have at least a tenuous grasp of the english language?

Then again, we employ our guys on slightly more demanding tasks than supervising knob-jockey barrier operators!

[movadinkampa747]

Hmmmmmmmmm
http://www.rafpolice.co.uk/coppermine/albums/upload1/qpd/normal_policedogcartoon.jpg

[Dukeyboy]

Young blonde lady driving around base is trapped by a scuffer doing 22 in a 20 limit (we've all been there?) Upon reaching the vehicle the young (almost certainly acting) corporal demands "Can I see your pass please madam?".

Being a visitor and rather unsure, not to mention blonde (incoming banter) she rumages around her purse. "come on miss" hustles the 'copper', "It'ss be about the size of a credit card and have your photo on it. Said blonde female remembers seeing something similar and fishes out her makeup mirror. Checking that it is indeed her "photo" on it, she hands it to the copper.

Scuffer sighs and says, "look I'm sorry Ma'am, if I'd have known you were RAF police I wouldn't have stopped you".

Well, it could be true!

[It's Not Working]

Pompey
Up to the normal standard then. Is the RN the only Service which requires Warrant Officers to have at least a tenuous grasp of the english language?
Would that be the 'English language' perhaps? I guess you're not an RN WO.:ok:

[PompeySailor]

Pompey

Would that be the 'English language' perhaps? I guess you're not an RN WO.:ok:

Spot on. Which means that you can't possibly be an RAFP WO!

[Tigs2]

Go on TwoBoats Please please give us some more of your toptastic stories. I bet if you were a RAFP WO you must have loads.

[Rocket Chucker]

Ah two boats. It sounds very much like you're chucking your dolly out of the pram again!! Chill out; tell us all of your stories about us undesireables who only joined up to break the law!

Unlike you, most of us in here don't bite when a little bit of the brown and smelly is thrown their way. But the best thing is that every time you bite the thread bangs back to the front page. :ugh:

Keep up the good work mate. Sorry, Mr Warrant Officer Plod Sir!!:ok:

[Samuel]

Vegetables don't fight back,though Brussell Sprouts can be vicious little buggers,:rolleyes: so it's quite alright to skin them and eat them alive. Some people have long conversations with vegetables, but that's not recommended if you want to get into the RAF.

[R 21]

samuraimatt,

"Also, in basic training, are RAF Recruites required to kill, skin and eat an animal? I am not a vegetarian but the killing and skinning of something that cannot fight back is against my ethics, again the RAF are reluctant to tell me anything so I hope someone here can help."

Are you serious ???

Man up wet pants!!!!! May be it should be the womens auxillary balloon corps for you

HA HA

[Lara crofts pants]

samuraimatt,

"Also, in basic training, are RAF Recruites required to kill, skin and eat an animal? I am not a vegetarian but the killing and skinning of something that cannot fight back is against my ethics, again the RAF are reluctant to tell me anything so I hope someone here can help."

Are you serious ???

Man up wet pants!!!!! May be it should be the womens auxillary balloon corps for you

HA HA

I think R 21 old boy, that you may have been had. Surely, nobody is that namby pamby - surely:uhoh:

Perfect for the RAFP though

[Maple 01]

There's nothing cushy about life in the Womens Auxiliary Balloon Corps

ethics - now that's the problem, I'd suggest if you have any you're not suited for a life in the RAFP

[Green Flash]

Balloon goes up, balloon goes down, balloon goes ..... :}

[Rocket Chucker]

Sam - the only animals they'll teach you to deal with will be drunken Rockapes outside the electric wrestling in the NAAFI on a Friday night. :bored:

Seriously though - they don't go that far and I'm sure you'll make a good Snowdrop - just toughen up a bit and if perchance they ask you to do something you don't like, just do it and worry about it later.

Good luck.:ok:

[Tigs2]

I love the world we live in:rolleyes: . We all have our priorities right eh! So the killing and skinning of a bunny to feed yourself on a survival training excercise is against your ethics, but hey as a race, there are no ethics when it comes to the slaughter of Lebanese, and Isreali civilian women and children, who can't fight back either. My Mrs always used to get upset when the horse got shot in a cowboy and indian movie?? The women and kids in the middle east are currently far more helpless and dare i say valuable than the rabbit. I still hate policemen!!

[stillagoodguy]

Hi Sam,

Don't be put off by the idiotic replies!

Of course the RAFP will teach you to kill people, such as terrorists for example. One ex RAFP Mr *** ********* living in ********** did shoot a terrorist dead, absolutely stone dead! whilst serving in ******
His dog detected the terrorist's presence, who was about to kill a number of soldiers who were operating nearby. It was at night and very dark at the time. Damned fine piece of 'teamwork-man/dog'.

Obviously the very young and inexperienced acting corporal had been well trained and was able to conduct himself accordingly. He retired as a WO.

[movadinkampa747]

And i bet ex WO *************** of ************** had lots of daring stories whilst serving in ************ and ************* and of course dont forget when he was serving in ************* where he met his wife ********* who turned out to be the daughter of *********** MP and of course he had a huge sending off from his last posting RAF**************
Well done from us all here at RAF ******************:E

[Maple 01]

RAF ******************?
Isn't that where the RAFP ****** themselves because ****** and ****** of the ******* went ******* with a large mango and ***** the ******* on the barrier? ******** to them all I say, ****** the lot of them

[PompeySailor]

You've missed the point. Stillagoodguy meant to elaborate. The DOG ended up as a WO, the A/CPL ended his days doing barrier up......

Not only will the RAFP "teach you to kill people", any branch of any Armed Service will teach you to handle a weapon so that you know which end goes "bang". Although some people will still get it wrong, just to be awkward.

[wg13_dummy]

This made me chuckle recently.
A mate of mine on the married patch had cause to pop over to his neighbour’s house. The neighbour’s dog had been barking for quite a while and my mate was trying to get his young daughter to sleep. So, in civvies, he goes up to said neighbours house and rings the bell. Neighbour answers the door.
Mate: Hi there, I’m from across the road.
Neighbour: Hello
Mate: Can you do me a favour please, I’m trying to get my young daughter to sleep and your dog is keeping her awake. Any chance you could keep it quiet please?
Neighbour: Do you know who I am??
Mate: No
Neighbour: I’m Cpl ******, RAF Police!
Mate: Err, and?
Neighbour: I’m Cpl ******, RAF Police! (getting quite irate by all accounts)
Mate: Really? Err do you know who I am?
Neighbour: No
Mate: SSgt *******, I’ll see your boss on Monday. Tit.
Classic. Now, if the copper had been a WO, he might have had a vague chance of outranking someone. Still wouldn’t excuse him being an utter throbber though.



As an aside but directly connected to the thread. Anyone know the story behind this picture?
http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-12/915521/NEJYH-crahedcopcar.jpg

[movadinkampa747]

h.
As an aside but directly connected to the thread. Anyone know the story behind this picture?


Yes. A silver Rover 200 was being driven along a road when its driver crashed it.:uhoh:

[wg13_dummy]

Yes. A silver Rover 200 was being driven along a road when its driver crashed it.:uhoh:


It was a leading question, I'll admit. :)

I'll see if any of our 'detective' friends know.

[Maple 01]

Are you sure you're not Plod?

[mcidiot]

a giant finger (bottom right) flicked the car off the road

[Maple 01]

You're thinking of Subbuteo, isn't there some PPRuNe type buried scandal here?

[wg13_dummy]

The alleged story ref the car goes as follows;

Allegedly, RAFP female gets a bit emotional one night. Her boyfriend (also RAFP) is away on det somewhere. She gets lagered up and decides to take a drive around the airfield in boyfriend’s car. En route to where ever she was going, she almost drives into the duty wheels coming the other way. Duty wheels takes avoiding action as does ‘Juliet Bravo’. She ends up in the hedge. RAFP tip up and ‘take her to the guard room’.
Not being a copper but having a basic grasp of bits of law etc, I can see a few offences here.

1. Taking a vehicle without consent
2. Driving without insurance
3. Driving whilst under the influence of alcohol
4. Criminal damage (Car and hedge)

Guess what she got charged for?







Bugger all, allegedly.


Now, the road itself was a civilian highway through an RAF camp (sort of narrows the location down a bit). The local civvy plod or MoD plod were not called to carry out a breath test and were only informed some time later of the accident, allegedly.



And we wonder why the RAFP have a bad name? :rolleyes:






Of course, there is no foundation to any of the above and it is merely crew room chat. ;)

[ShyTorque]

Dinner party at the new OC Red Arrows MQ.

Guests were intrigued by nine, deep red goldfish swimming round an aquarium in the lounge. Every time OC Reds walked by the tank, all nine fish formed up in line astern and swam to the end of the tank.

One of his guests couldn't help but comment.

OC Reds explained that he had easily trained the fish to swim in formation. He explained that by using his superior intellect, he simply transferred his thoughts into the brains of the fish, and off they went!

Asked to demonstrate, he stared into the tank, narrowing his eyes whereupon the fish immediately formed up into a diamond nine and began doing immaculate underwater loops and barrel rolls. As OC Reds stood up and walked away, the fish went back to eating ant eggs.

"Can I try that?" asked one of his guests. "Please feel free", came the reply, as the genial host went into the kitchen to fetch a beer.

One minute later, he returned - to find his guest, OC RAFP, staring goggle eyed into the tank at a goldfish, his mouth silently opening and closing....... :eek:

;)

[Wilders85]

I am of the opinion, albeit not learned, that several comments on this thread have now gone beyond the boundaries of general banter and are now bordering on defamation.

Whilst not wishing to be seen as a kill joy and not wanting to stifle free speech and opinions, I would suggest that the moderators reflect on certain comments posted, and advise posters of potential implications, where any alleged incidents could be attributed to specific identified individuals.

In my civilian profession I am obliged to carry significant professional indemnity insurance. I can therefore make professional observations and comments in the knowledge that I am protected financially for any off the cuff comments I make. I doubt many of the posters on this forum carry such insurance. Again, in my opinion, comments made recently could result in litigation against the individual posters.

So I re-iterate my position. Please feel free to berate the RAF Police. Abuse as you wish but please be careful. Do not be specific in identifying individuals, especially if the allegations cannot be proven. It could cost the poster significantly.

Regards as always and keep up the banter.

[Always_broken_in_wilts]

I have seen some boll@ks posted on here before but what the **** is wildthing on about:ugh: :ugh: Litigation my ar@e, it's a rumour website you spleen:rolleyes:

all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced

[Wilders85]

Always Broken

Thanks for your opinion which is duly noted.

However, Rumour is one thing. But once you can identify a specific individual through your posting you could open yourself up to significant problems. That was my warning.

Regards as always

[SASless]

What does Talking Ballast know of litigation I wonder?

[Always_broken_in_wilts]

Like junk food it's another of those great things we have to thank you guys for! The "Where there's blame there's a claim" culture that pervades our society today, we learnt it direct from you, is really the way ahead:} :}

Litigation, cheers SAS:rolleyes:

all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced

[ShyTorque]

Wilders85,

The RAF policeman hypnotised by a goldfish - it wasn't you, was it?

[ralphmalph]

WG13 wondered when that would come up in here!.

Just shows how much of joke things have become when supposedly drunk plod crashes car on camp and gets off scott free....

And someone gets tired waiting for plod to do their duty at a gate and ends up opening it themselves because "plod is talking". Only to recieve a rifting from the plod and staish for "breach of physical security". I swear the document was at least 50 pages.....I saw it.

Shocking

Ralph

[aes69]

1. Taking a vehicle without consent
2. Driving without insurance
3. Driving whilst under the influence of alcohol
4. Criminal damage (Car and hedge)
Guess what she got charged for?
Bugger all, allegedly.
If consent had been granted previously (as is reasonble to presume during reltionships), and she believed she had lawful consent of the owner without specific request, then she has a defence to TWOC.
Driving without insurance, do you know specifically that she has no insurance on her own vehicle, which would (for the most) cover her TPFT for any vehicle she is legally entitled, and has permission to drive.
Driving under the influence of alcohol, proven? If her colleagues, SNCO & OC Police covered up such an event, then they should all be hung, drawn & quartered. But saying the RAF Police trade is that gash, I'd rather put money on the story being inaccurate.
Crim dam - Mens rea?
But did you hear the one about the growbags who built a homemade bazooka out of old over-sized beans tins? They bodge taped them together, made a small hole in the base of the bottom tin, then fired (using fireworks powder) smaller full tins through partion walls in the officers mess. Lots of damage, fire alarms set off, local fire service called out & civpol. Now I'm just curious how you, the barrack room lawyers, would twist this story round to suit your high jinx? :=

[Maple 01]

Another Skuffer outed! Every time one of theirs is caught with the proverbial hand in the cookie jar it's the old Vicky Pollard defence

"Yeah but no but yeah but no but I soooo can't believe you just said that! ...

"Shut up! I ain't never done nuffink or nuffink!"

"dem growbags is worse cos they is officers and have edikation an' stuff"

[wg13_dummy]

Typical coppers reply.

The duty wheels probably got done for not wearing his seat belt when the 'Rover incident' occured.



(Allegedly, the boyfriend was an 'ex' boyfriend at the time of the incident) ;)

The story was relayed to me from an RAF copper btw. :cool:

[aes69]

Outed, sorry guys, but I have been here a while. And I'll be the first to get the 'arse' with my fellow tradesmen, but the high moral ground already has occupants, so you lot need to take up a different stance.

[PPRuNeUser0172]

@rse69 it always amuses me why scuffers and other hangers on peruse and post on a professional pilots rumour forum, not having a go or claiming that you dont have the right to, heaven forbid that may open me up to litigation or worse.......
bottom line is, we are talking about you, not to you.
I will be the first to get the arse with my fellow tradesmen you're having a larf.....what trade would that be?? General unhelpfulness, over inflated self importance. There's a reason you are being replaced with civvies who can operate barriers as well as you highly trained RAFP types. I guess someone needs to feed the dogs though.
Why dont you go and find the (professional???) scuffers rumour forum and enjoy all the humourous and interesting topics which would doubtless lie therein.

[aes69]

See now there's the problem, you conduct yourselves as professional as the Tiny Tots day nursery down the road!

I do believe this is a public forum, the very same forum you so elegantly slate anyone who doesn't wear a growbag morning, noon and night.

[Maple 01]

OK here's the biggy

The RAF exists to fly, therefore the big boys are aircrew, therefore, in the proper order of things they are at the top of the pile and can do pretty much as they see fit, it took me a long time to see it but buggering around highly trained 'growbags' with niff-naff and trivia is a waste of resources - they - not RAFP are our most important asset and have to be nurtured and indulged to a large extent, if that upsets the Coppers unfortunately that’s a fact of life – no aircrew = no RAF

On the other hand much of what were RAFP duties are being farmed out to MPGS or whatever they are being called this week. The bright coppers now work in CompSy, counter int etc and are by and large normal hard-working blokes. The petty Nazis that are being left behind by their brighter brethren would be hard pressed to make GDs or TAGs (depending on how old you are) and enjoy the power of the officious bureaucrat

[ralphmalph]

Love how high and mighty people can get....I myself am a realist when itcomes to human behaviour.
Heard a rumor from a senior bod that a case of RAFP personnel stealing had been covered up and only revealed when someone of integrity (RAFP) decided to put things to rights!....

[High_Expect]

If my memory serves me correctly a few years back (5ish) there was a Land Rover that was rolled whilst conducting a ‘’security patrol‘’… of course the fact that it was on or near the runway and it happened to be covered by ice a snow has nothing to do with it. I’m obviously not suggesting that anybody would ‘’play around’’ in MT or anything. But the incident did end up with the occupants being removed from the vehicle by civilian specialists shall we say. Oh did I mention that it was RAFP…….. All information may or may not be true and may or may not be about the RAFP… is that ok Wilders85 ?! :ok:

[Tigs2]

What is the Collective Noun for a group of RAFP??

Would it be a 'Scuffer of Coppers'?, or a 'Pen of Coppers'?

Any ideas?

[SirToppamHat]

Isn't it a sty? ;)

A quick visit to one of the Web's Collective Noun Sites reveals:

Drove, Herd, Sounder (Piglets), Farrow, Litter.

Presumably it's a Sounder of LAC acting cpls RAFP? You takes your choice for the rest.

STH

[ZH875]

An Illiterate of coppers

or

An Illegitimate of coppers

[wg13_dummy]

The common term is usually a 'bunch of c**ts'.

[ralphmalph]

Saw some ultra-professional plods today coming down the road today at Ald in the duty "wagon".
Almost laughed my nuts off when they drove by in the blue minivan with the side door open trying to look cool on the PUBLIC road that runs through camp.

Imagine........weapon cradled in the arms, 1000 yrd stare out of the door and waved straight through the gate to the armoury!!!.

Was so hot today at 22 Degrees!!???

Noshers

Ralph

[PPRuNeUser0172]

Oh what a great thread, anything to put the blunties in their place.

Let's face it, most RAFP couldn't pass water let alone pass an exam. The sooner this pointless bunch of losers are told to fu*k off and get jobs in
civvy street (most of you cant, hence why you are 2nd rate RAFP w@nkers) the better.

Come on, somebody please give us a reason why we need the RAFP? I would love to hear why we still have the useless f*ckers.

How did their careers office visit go?

"Are you a total c*nt"

"yes sir, can I be RAFP?"

"No, you appear to be overqualified"


DS:D

[stillagoodguy]

Whatever happened to the 'pilots' who set fire to a pilot colleage of theirs at an OCU in the south west, after they did their porridge in civy jail?

The plods who put the evidence together extremely well, and which lead to convictions of the morons, did rather well in their careers afterwards. Had the investigation not gone so well, the moronic tw*ts might well now be pilots in the RAF, working alongside many of the pathetic w*nkers spewing out the diatribe on this thread.

[Maple 01]

Would you like some salt and vinegar with those chips stillagoodguy? See my previous point. Aircrew = essential, RAFP = expendable - see why you can't get harrier pilots sent to Colchester of doing 22 in a 20?

[FJJP]

Do tell it like it is...

[PPRuNeUser0172]

stillatw@t

is that the best you can do??

why don't you do us a all favour and p!ss off, we are talking about you not to you.

I know you can do so well in civvy street, that's why you can all get jobs there!!! ask most civvy coppers about RAFP or mil types and they laugh about how useless and unemployable you are

bottom line is, at least pilot's have a good job on the outside

you will always be low average, and you know it:}

[Tigs2]

Stillatw@tAllwaysatw@t

You are not a very good detective. It was a navigator, not a pilot that was set on fire, and they had all been doing it to each other all night. How could the plods have put their evidence together quite well? You mean they stated the bleeding obvious, for which they were rewarded with a glittering career (substansive Cpl). Its a bugger isnt it when you sit on you rocking chair and tell your grandkids 'you knooow sonnny i once did a pilot for lighting his mates flying suit! he! he! he!'. Or better for young grandkid to say 'grandpa is it true what daddy says that you were involved in fighting enemy aircraft/bombing Bagdhad/extracting special forces from hot zones/ rescuing civilians from Beruit'?

As Harry Enfield would say 'RAF policemen "know your limits"!!'

[Pontius Navigator]

Bearing in mind the libel laws that have been pointed out, not on behalf of the accused of course but . . .

Flt Lt X was suspected of claiming quite a lot of home-to-duty but actually staying close to the base most nights.

On the night in question Master Spy shadowed Flt Lt X who, as suspected, drove straight to a caravan site, opened the door of a caravan, and went inside. The curtains were shut and Master Spy settled down for a bit of the coverts.

At end of shift Master Spy checks watch and drives home.

At the subsequent CM Master Spy relates exactly what happened until 6pm when he went home. Open and shut case?

Only witness for the defence was a vicar, chairman of the parish council at Flt Lt Xs home town. Flt Lt X was a councillor and the minutes showed that Flt Lt X was in a town council meeting that evening.

Next . . .

[stillagoodguy]

Oh you must try harder Dirtysanchez:=

Superintendant ****** ************ now serving in middle England police force says that when he walked the QRA & SSA with his dog at a RAF base in Germany during the late 70s - early 80s he and his colleages often had to put up with s**t like you spout now, but they never used to let it bother them. Your type never change your spots.

Indeed, Detective Chief Inspector **** ***** in the south west says he experienced much the same when he met morons like you during his time at the doggy school at Newton, when you lot were attending 'Man Management' courses at the school of Education...:yuk: :yuk: :yuk:

And so did the late Superintendant ***** ********* of Leicestershire Police at a RAFPlod reunion some 18 months ago, whilst recalling his days at Laarbruch in the early 70s.

All 3 valued the ex RAFPlods joining them on the beat during their second careers. Some of those 'newcomers' are already working their way up through the ranks, a few dozen Sgts, at least 2 Inspectors, 2 Chief Inspectors and 1 'Super'. Very probably many more elsewhere in the country.

[stillagoodguy]

PonNav, you are being economical with the truth.

The fault lay entirely with the idiots running that case, Flt Lt ex something or other who thought he was Magrey the Froggy tec and RAF Lawyer who was not able to get a job in civy street, never was enough evidence to go to court.

But the Sqn Ldr making a couple of hundred quids worth of private phone calls from his office phone certainly got convicted. Booted out!

[PompeySailor]

Oh you must try harder Dirtysanchez:=

Superintendant ****** ************ now serving in middle England police force says that when he walked the QRA & SSA with his dog at a RAF base in Germany during the late 70s - early 80s he and his colleages often had to put up with s**t like you spout now, but they never used to let it bother them. Your type never change your spots.

Indeed, Detective Chief Inspector **** ***** in the south west says he experienced much the same when he met morons like you during his time at the doggy school at Newton, when you lot were attending 'Man Management' courses at the school of Education...:yuk: :yuk: :yuk:

And so did the late Superintendant ***** ********* of Leicestershire Police at a RAFPlod reunion some 18 months ago, whilst recalling his days at Laarbruch in the early 70s.

All 3 valued the ex RAFPlods joining them on the beat during their second careers. Some of those 'newcomers' are already working their way up through the ranks, a few dozen Sgts, at least 2 Inspectors, 2 Chief Inspectors and 1 'Super'. Very probably many more elsewhere in the country.

I will pass on their success stories to the "more than a handful" that my wife has dealt with in her job as a homelessness advice officer for the Southern Region. No ability to settle in civilian life, no understanding that once out of uniform, people just don't care what they used to be, and shouting doesn't work when you are ex-RAFP. No uniform, no barrier and no dog. But they do have a room in a hostel to call their own.

[Number2]

DS

There's only one person that's coming across as a t#@t and that's you mate.

Comments like yours reminds me why I left the RAF. You carry on kidding yourself that you'll be happy as a glorified bus-driver when you leave.

I can't say I have any time for RAFP but there are better ways of getting your point across without sounding like an @rse!

[ShyTorque]

Oh Dear! Friendly banter has now been overtaken by venom and hate. :ugh:

I would say this thread is now well on its way to getting pulled..... :rolleyes:

I do actually like some plods - Oh how I used to smile to myself when Cpl Chalky "W", RAFP, Newton came to a noisy halt each evening on the path outside 2 hanger, snapped to attention and saluted me through my office window before asking me how I was. Same chap charged himself for being late on duty - daft bu££er! :)

(I was just as daft - I sometimes used to stand up and salute him back)! :p

Come on chaps, cool it a little, don't get the thread pulled

Then I might get to tell the tale of how those P&SS w&nkers tried to stitch me up for a flying "crime" I didn't commit...

HEY! Now just look what I've found....... :E

http://www.rafpolice.co.uk/

Some dull RAF policeman has just deleted everything - shame! HEY, copper! Get the dog to run it! ;)

[Maple 01]

ST did you expect anything else?

[wg13_dummy]

The 9 previous threads on the subject have ended up like this so why should this one be any different??

[akula]

WOW!!!

Just checked out the RAF Plod site, they have 28 members:} Discuss.

ALWAYS assume NEVER check

[Lara crofts pants]

The rest probably find all that registering and logging on a little "challenging"

[rock_dove]

Probably still waiting for their passwords to come back..........................:}

[movadinkampa747]

http://www.rafpa.com/bertram.jpg

Nothing changes.

[FormerFlake]

WOW!!!

Just checked out the RAF Plod site, they have 28 members:} Discuss.

ALWAYS assume NEVER check

It is a bit hard to use a touchpad with paws. I suppose a cat would be ok with a mouse.

Exit left

[TwoBoats]

Can I say that the Superintendant reffered to earlier, from the Leicestershire Police was a close personal friend of mine, I am presuming because there wasn't many that fitted the category, and don't think he or his family would want to be mentioned - so therefore don't mention it - I for one find it deeply offensive and upsetting, yes have banter but don't include those who cannot answer for themselves.

I think enough said.

Banter is one thing, I am beginning to think this page and site is going beyond that. I joined it to have a laugh - some people who post need to grow up and assess themselves - on both sides. At the end of the day - aren't you all on the same side???

Goodnight and goodbye 'ladies and gentlemen' and I use the terms loosely in some respects. :D Be happy with yourself, if you can well done, if not the just grow up and be constructive. :(

[TwoBoats]

hey movadinkampa747 - nice cartoon from the 70's I believe - you must have known where to find it by the way - you some sort of s**t bag who turns and hides at every opportunity - seems to me you have some sort of inside info - I'm watchin' for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! s***ball

Woulf you like to see all the other cartoons of the same ilk, that way you can jack off to those also - that's obviously what you do - let me now and I will post them :mad: head

[movadinkampa747]

No secret really. They are all freely available on the RAFP Association website. Blimey a simple search on Google found that. Even an RAF Policeman would be able to find that site, then again he might have to ask the dog to type in the URL for him.

Here is the website for you if your dog is in the kennel

RAFP Association (http://www.rafpa.com/)

http://www.rafpa.com/

Where are you watchin for me?

Just for you here is another one

http://www.rafpa.com/Ambush.jpg:ok:

[Shjustme]

And the Detective Chief Inspector's name appears in a news report linked to his police force in which he is listed as the senior investigating officer in the murder case of an elderly lady in that area.
He also attends plods reunions. Many plods do actually move up, up, and upwards from the initial doggy walkies around RAF stations.
Ex FS plod De**** M*** finally retired as Det Chief Insp with MOD Police.
A very, very, very, senior cop in the Channel Islands was also a plod some years ago. (He might still be in post or recently retired)
Another ex doggy plod is now a Det Sgt in his local police force and running a special task squad not so far from a secret non-aircraft admin-personnel base way up the A40 beyond BZZ;)
Another ex plod Sgt now chief security officer at a university not a million miles north-ish of 'Sleaford Tech'.
Former Flt Sgt CI plod went out and straight in as deputy chief security officer at MAN airport, but now retired.
Ex Cpl CI now chief security officer at Tate M***** in London.
Jobs for the boys:D :D :D

And, well, more later, if only to choke Dirty Sanchez and his ilk:yuk: :yuk:

Where do all the super techies and blanket stackers go when the RAF chucks them out?

[TwoBoats]

stillatw@t
I know you can do so well in civvy street, that's why you can all get jobs there!!! ask most civvy coppers about RAFP or mil types and they laugh about how useless and unemployable you are


SANCHEZ and your experience for this is? I am civ pol and haven't met anyone of the type you refer to, neither have any of my colleagues, do you want e-mails to ask them yourself? I have.

Mrs TwoBoats is a Ch Insp who is in charge of the recruitment dept of a rather large police force, (almost 7000 personnel), amongst other things, all the RAFP, RMP & RN Reg Branch people that apply do rather well to say the very least - have you any stats or are you just another growbag, would be growbag or techie who is jumping on the band wagon because at some stage in his career he got in the sh*t, or done for drink driving, (which seems very common place for servicemen and women).

Oh and on another point - I can always remember the loyalty you ground and aircrew have to each other, you always talk about it. Take the case of each and every time one of the idiot 'jockeys' crashed another 20 million pounbds of taxpayers money into the ground, my job was to go and seize the 700, (you know that bit of documentation you all falsefy and tell lies on when an aircraft crashes), the techies first response was,
"He was a s**t pilot anyway we told him it wasn't working right."
So much for loyalty eh? The jockeys always said,
"F*****g linnies, couldn't sort f**k all out, knobs that's what they are. Don't you think so chaps!" Guffaw, guffaw.

Sorry gents get your own act together before having a go at anyone else.

It does make me sad - afterall my son is in Iraq and depending on you and your ground crew idiots for support. Shall I order a box for him now, because you just don't seem to care or are just plainly incompetant - a real insight thanks - perhaps I should go to national newspaper level, I'm sure they would be interested in our views and comments on how the services get on with each other, work together in harmony etc, this site is surely testiment to that, how they intergrate and work together to acheive a common goal - NOT - glad I cut and pasted your views!!!!!

No, I wouldn't do that because MY loyalty always rests and always will do with those men & women in uniform - can we please stop this inane and ujustified villification, (unwarranted piss taking for those who don't understand), of anything you really know nothing about.
Perhaps the RAFP have gone too far down the road of speed guns etc, the way to redress that is not with the comments and attitudes expressed here, or some of them, the way forward is to be constructve and take matters up at unit level constructively, if you feel that strongly and be objective, on both sides. Somehow I don't think any of you have the balls to do that.

TwoBoats decides it's time for bed and awaits the incoming and will answer any constructive comments early AM, and he means constructive - the to**ers, and you know who I mean, don't even bother posting not interested and no I don't bite either , I'm just trying to promote intelligent banter, however, it's probably beyond most of you. :ok:

[TwoBoats]

movadinkampa747 - your info is only nearly 50 years old - congratulations - you p***k - get a life and move on - tosser

[TwoBoats]

Personally I think they are rather good and display a humorous side to the forces ... excellent ... still watching you ....:E

[TwoBoats]

Shy - I thought for one minute you were being genuine - if you were at Newton whe Chaly was there you'll know we ain't all bad - I was there then at the 'School' initially as a FS and then returned as Police School WO, we all got on well I seem to remember. Don't drop to the levels of some here - please...... for godness sake ....... :=

[TwoBoats]

Excuse the spelling mistakes - either I am thick or they are alcohol induced - the latter - had a few friends around, (yes we have them you know, we will let them free tomorrow after they have paid us the ransom).


Be nice and don't fight too much !!! Debate is healthy, venom is not!!!!!

;)

[Shjustme]

Morning TwoBoats,
:hmm: :hmm: :suspect: :suspect: :suspect::suspect: :suspect: ;) ;) ;) ;) :ok:

Now......... I DO know who you are...........lets continue to kick ass.............

[ShyTorque]

Twoboats, I was trying to be genuine.

Especially about the attempted stitch-up, which was completely true. Fortunately, no evidence could be produced, as there wasn't any, despite quite a bit of wasted manpower trying to find some to fit the alleged offence. I twigged what was going on at an early stage and I realised it was better if I wrote my statement in my own words, rather than my spoken words being written down by someone else with a particular agenda. I put a few noses out of joint by sticking up for myself but the allegations quietly went away after putting myself and three colleagues through some months of unneccesary stress.

Seriously, there are good and bad in every branch - unfortunately aircrew tend to bring out the worst in the RAFP and vice versa and so bias sets in quite early in any "discussion".

Take care out there. :ok:

P.S. Recently buried my favourite uncle, aged 90, who was a WWII RAF policeman. In 1946 he put my father on a charge for having his tunic top button undone whilst walking home from the bus-stop, having just arrived home from on leave from Aden. Made it far worse by turning up a short time later and announcing he was marrying my father's only sister! They never saw eye to eye....strange thing, that ;)

[wg13_dummy]

Twoboats, what planet did you arrive from????

I'll bet you're a bundle of laughs on the pop!


Someone please take his keyboard off him. (Or get his dog to type his hillarious responces).

[16 blades]

Many plods do actually move up, up, and upwards from the initial doggy walkies around RAF stations.
A very, very, very, senior cop in the Channel Islands was also a plod some years ago.
Another ex doggy plod is now a Det Sgt in his local police force
Superintendant ****** ************ now serving in middle England police force says that when he walked the QRA & SSA with his dog at a RAF base in Germany during the late 70s
Indeed, Detective Chief Inspector **** ***** in the south west says he experienced much the same when he met morons like you during his time at the doggy school at Newton
And so did the late Superintendant ***** ********* of Leicestershire Police at a RAFPlod reunion some 18 months ago, whilst recalling his days at Laarbruch in the early 70s.
All 3 valued the ex RAFPlods joining them on the beat during their second careers. Some of those 'newcomers' are already working their way up through the ranks, a few dozen Sgts, at least 2 Inspectors, 2 Chief Inspectors and 1 'Super'. Very probably many more elsewhere in the country.
Well then.........this explains quite nicely why CivPol are steadily turning into a bunch of complete tw@ts nowadays...

16B

[Talking Radalt]

A very, very, very, senior cop in the Channel Islands was also a plod some years ago

You mean Bergerac aka 80s day time TV laydees man John Nettles? Cool!:}

[Shjustme]

For 16 bladdders and Sanhezzzz,

Don't forget the ex FS plod who now heads the team of 'enquiry agents' at a regional head office of a very large national firm of lawyers. But without the need of an alsation woof woof:D :D

Or the ex doggy plod Cpl who has been with Coca Cola (Europe) for many years, enjoying 5 star hospitality and first class travel perks, from Monte Carlo to Malmo, and Manchester to Munich:D :D

Not forgetting the ex FS plod who was until recent retirement the head cheeze of security for a world famous merchant bank in the city of London. The perks he had were out of this world.:D :D

When you have had time to choke on the above I'll send you another trio or two.

[Tombstone]

DS

There's only one person that's coming across as a t#@t and that's you mate.

Comments like yours reminds me why I left the RAF. You carry on kidding yourself that you'll be happy as a glorified bus-driver when you leave.

I can't say I have any time for RAFP but there are better ways of getting your point across without sounding like an @rse!

I hope you are happy on the outside! DS's comments are not out of line as the RAFP is populated, in the majority, by complete c*nts.

As for being a 'glorified bus driver' once out of the RAF...

...I'm sure most of us will have no problem with picking up a big fat pay cheque for flying state of the art airliners all over the world until retirement!!!

[Tombstone]

For 16 bladdders and Sanhezzzz,

Don't forget the ex FS plod who now heads the team of 'enquiry agents' at a regional head office of a very large national firm of lawyers. But without the need of an alsation woof woof:D :D

Or the ex doggy plod Cpl who has been with Coca Cola (Europe) for many years, enjoying 5 star hospitality and first class travel perks, from Monte Carlo to Malmo, and Manchester to Munich:D :D

Not forgetting the ex FS plod who was until recent retirement the head cheeze of security for a world famous merchant bank in the city of London. The perks he had were out of this world.:D :D

When you have had time to choke on the above I'll send you another trio or two.

I think you are mistaken for thinking that we actually give a sh*t. The point of the thread is about us all thinking RAFP are tossers, not wondering how they are getting on post RAF.

If your chaps above had actually had two brain cells between them, they may have actually had a fullfilling career in the RAF, not simply operating barriers (later to become button operated for the new generation retards) before becoming glorified security guards. Exciting stuff keeping an eye on all that Coca Cola!

[Skunkerama]

It's funny really, this thread seems to be riduculing the RAF Police for being small minded, petty, morons.

However the people that have been arguing that fact have shown themselves to be exactly that.

And to think that some of these people have been let loose to play with multi-million pound airframes.

[Maple 01]

Er....no, unless I've missed the mark a lot of highly trained, well educated and socially gifted professionals have kindly taken time out to inform the RAFP of their richly deserved standing within the RAF community. A few ex-porkers have taken exception, but in a similar style to most of their prosecutions (read witch-hunts in my experience) their arguments collapse in on themselves in the harsh light of reality. I can vouch for the contempt the real police hold for Snowdrops though they might take comfort in the fact that Monkeys are held in even lower esteem.

Questions?

[Skunkerama]

So your saying that Tombstone, Dirty Sanchez etc have put together well based and intelligent debate?

Or do you think that name calling, hatred and vile behaviour have a place in the armed forces?

[Tombstone]

Skunkerama,

Equality within the Armed Forces is an essential aspect of service life and I fully uphold all of the required core values required by the Royal Air Force.

It is unfortunate however, that some personnel within the Royal Air Force take great pleasure in making fellow servicemens life difficult whenever and wherever possible.

There are plenty of examples within this thread of acts of stupidity by RAFP. Take the example of the FS RAFP who went out of his way to prevent a C130 captain flying home some personnel who would have otherwise been unnecessarily stranded in theatre.

During my time in the RAF, I have either directly experienced or, have been told of spitefull, hateful behaviour from the very people who demand our respect as the Service's policemen.

IMHO, they operate with very little credibility in todays environment and require a complete overhaul in order to make their salaries worth paying.

My comments are simply extreme banter which you are not obliged to read.

Questions?

[Skunkerama]

So your saying that the entire RAF police department are idiots that do a useless job?

Or is it just the fact that there are a few pr*cks in the branch just as there are in any branch and that these pr*cks have a unwarranted bearing on many different areas of life within the RAF?

Or is the branch full of reasonable men and women that unfortunatley have to carry out ridiculous orders and conform to strict quotas, given to them by pr*cks who have managed to reach the upper ranks within the branch?

[PompeySailor]

So your saying that the entire RAF police department are idiots that do a useless job?

Or is it just the fact that there are a few pr*cks in the branch just as there are in any branch and that these pr*cks have a unwarranted bearing on many different areas of life within the RAF?

Or is the branch full of reasonable men and women that unfortunatley have to carry out ridiculous orders and conform to strict quotas, given to them by pr*cks who have managed to reach the upper ranks within the branch?

Such as employing a 6'5" tall, 4' wide sailor in a dayglo surcoat to hide behind a wall and jump out at approaching vehicles waving a speed gun?

Today, at Whale Island....

There are fools in all branches and trades and at all ranks, it's just that the Police branches have such a deleterious effect on morale and overall happiness when they are over zealous. Look at the JPA threads for opinions of certain IS-based higher ranks, or the multiple allowances threads for people who are less than happy with clerks (at all levels).

It's pointless biting and pointing out how wonderfully they have done on leaving the Service, because it's just as easy to point out the ones that have failed in civilian life. Equally, every branch and rank can find success stories and ignore the ones that have gone wrong.

This thread is nothing more than a list of stories involving RAFP who have performed appallingly, or superciliously, or just been obnoxious. When you are messed around by a copper, it sticks in your mind and you are tempted to tar them all with the same brush. You could do the same with Stores bunnies who won't issue kit, but it's not as amusing - "he wouldn't give me a blanket" tends to pale somewhat when compared to "he was late for work, so he charged himself".

It's a bit of fun, c'est tout.

[Skunkerama]

Bet the chaps at Isandhlwana would have a few pointy words to say about their storemen.

[PompeySailor]

Bet the chaps at Isandhlwana would have a few pointy words to say about their storemen.

And if they had been issued computers and internet access, we could have welcomed them on here, and been regaled with stories of former stackers who had risen to the dizzy heights of "in charge of night watch, freezer section, Clapham Tescos", or "Managing Director of Polystyrene Packaging delivery company, Channel Islands."

But they weren't, so we aren't.

[Shjustme]

Ref preventing C130 captain flying home............

Similar (or not) to the case of a Sqn Ldr trying to depart Gutersloh on a C130 for Aldergrove with a bracelet in his pocket, the very same bracelet he had stolen from the PSI shop half an hour previously. He tried to pull rank and the usual 'don't you know who I am, Corporal?' The sheer audacity of the pillock, fly over just to steal things which did not belong to him. Of course, the Cpl's WO soon hoisted him off the a/c.. CM and booted out... Probably now selling 'Big Issue' on Clapham high street.:D :D

[movadinkampa747]

movadinkampa747 - your info is only nearly 50 years old - congratulations - you p***k - get a life and move on - tosser

Which information would that be. Funny how when I put up a couple of harmless cartoons you have to resort name calling. Its a bit of fun.

http://www.rafpa.com/acm.jpg

[movadinkampa747]

Personally I think they are rather good and display a humorous side to the forces ... excellent ... still watching you ....:E

Then in your next reply above you seem to now like these cartoons. Make up your mind:rolleyes:

[North Sea Tiger]

my job was to go and seize the 700, (you know that bit of documentation you all falsefy and tell lies on when an aircraft crashes),

I'm just trying to promote intelligent banter, however, it's probably beyond most of you. :ok:

So do you have any proof of the above statement. Intellegent banter? Have you read some of your diatribe lately?

[HallamPilot]

I entered the Guardroom at a station quite close to Kings Lynn to collect the section keys as I was on teas and keys for the week. Unfortunately I had left my St. Christopher on after the weekend. The officious little jobsworth t:mad: t ordered me to remove it at once. I explained in a jovial manner that I had forgotten to take it off after having a top weekend. This seemed to impress him even less, I suppose he had been on duty all weekend listening to the banter of the techies on guard!
Having signed the keys out, I returned to my car and once inside placed the St. Christopher back around my neck. Once at work I removed said item of jewelery and my wedding ring (which I did every day)and placed them in my locker.
No more than ten minutes later I was summoned to the F/S's office and asked to pull the neck of my t-shirt down. He saw I had removed the chain and sighed.
He then told me that Cpl Xyz from the RAFP had noticed that upon returning to my vehicle I had blatantly disregarded his order to remove the necklace and he had taken the registration details of my vehicle, cross referred it to his computer records to get my place of work, (He could have checked the key register!) then searched the phone directory to obtain my F/S's phone number and inform him of this disobedient airman.
My F/S told me not to worry about it and he would be having strong words with Cpl Xyz shortly about wasting his time.
Although I recognise I was incorrectly dressed for duty, you do have to wonder about the small mindedness of the a:mad: e in the G/R.

And they wonder why nobody likes them?:confused: Yeah, right!

[Pontius Navigator]

PonNav, you are being economical with the truth.

The fault lay entirely with the idiots running that case, Flt Lt ex something or other who thought he was Magrey the Froggy tec

'course I was being economical with the truth. This is a rumour network and one would not want to confuse the issue with facts.

Flt Lt Maigret was not an APM of course. Or was he?

[TwoBoats]

So do you have any proof of the above statement. Intellegent banter? Have you read some of your diatribe lately?

Yes I do, which is why the J/T, Sgt and Ch Tech were Courts Marshalled, and I enjoyed each and every minute of it - want their names, dates and station? I even managed to present the case and the sufficient evidence to secure a conviction, amazing. Great day watching the liers cry like babies before they went to MCTC at Colchester. Ha f*****g ha!:D :D :D

No I think not about the names. Tell the families of those who suffered or the public just how bloody incompetant you lot really are, whether it be servicing or flying - you're not the best - far from it. :p :p

And no I don't bite and as for banter - it went well beyond that when someone on this site slagged off the guy who died in theatre - take a look at yourself....... := Well out of order - :( :( :(

[Lara crofts pants]

You don't bite!!!

I've heard it all now. Just re-read your last post you imbecile.

Keep posting though - it just proves that this thread is achieving its aim of targetting tw@ts who react like small minded idiots.

[Pontius Navigator]

And now a good guy story.

I have a copy of a low flying investigation circa 1976. In this the RAFP investigators did a brilliant job doing enough to convince all and sundry that they had conducted a full and comprehensive investigation and proven that no unauthorised low flying had taken place.

What is good about the report is that I know most of the people mentioned, including the MP. One, really good, was a complainant who could not sleep after working nights because of the noise. Not 5 years later he joined 'enemy' and only retired after 17 years working with the 'low flying noise generators.'

[TwoBoats]

You don't bite!!!

I've heard it all now. Just re-read your last post you imbecile.

Keep posting though - it just proves that this thread is achieving its aim of targetting tw@ts who react like small minded idiots.

I seem to remember you as being the discarded wife of a RAFP - you're really impartial then .... Oh sorry no doubt you are going to claim the old 'domestic violence' b******s!!!!! Easy way out that eh?:D

[PompeySailor]

I seem to remember you as being the discarded wife of a RAFP - you're really impartial then .... Oh sorry no doubt you are going to claim the old 'domestic violence' b******s!!!!! Easy way out that eh?:D

Nice to see the police still attach great importance to DV then? Your missus must be proud of you. Still, you don't bite, you don't flash, and you don't trade insults. You do, however, post whilst pissed (post 357) (quite common that for the old bill, along with driving offences which seem to "go away"), flash and try to compensate for being the K9 of your own household.

Small dick as well, perchance?


Be nice and don't fight too much !!! Debate is healthy, venom is not!!!!!

[TwoBoats]

Nice to see the police still attach great importance to DV then? Your missus must be proud of you. Still, you don't bite, you don't flash, and you don't trade insults. You do, however, post whilst pissed (post 357) (quite common that for the old bill, along with driving offences which seem to "go away"), flash and try to compensate for being the K9 of your own household.

Small dick as well, perchance?


Be nice and don't fight too much !!! Debate is healthy, venom is not!!!!!

Oh grow up for goodness sake - you don't think women use DV claims for thier own purposes, I have seen it probably far more than you, not just in RAFP but civ pol also - why do they never follow through with complaints and why do I go to the same houses all the time????

Get real and I hope you are never on the wrong side of these spurious accusations, I have seen the final results - you haven't.

As for the the small dick reference - you are after all a sailor - I would expect nothing less - ooppss mind the soap sir, suits you sir !!!!! Does that fit !!!!!! OOhhhh nice - ponce

[Pontius Navigator]

And Mrs PN noted that NO female would even look at Lara Croft's pants, let alone want to be in them.

So much for 2-boats deductive powers.

Then there was Paddy Cowap, great bloke, Brezinski (what a great name for a Provost during the cold war - never did get around to asking him how come) dug me out of the usual Friday combination change problem, or even the Cpl at a secret Lincolnshire airbase who, by name, ought to be down in Oxfordshire. Great blokes all.

[TwoBoats]

I think Brezinski, or Biscuits, as we called him ended up as a Air Commodore - be careful before you slag him off - or sh1t will follow believe me.

He is a top bloke but you cannot slag him off - no longer name names - that way the top growbag doesn't end up being sued, the site is after all liable for any deflamatory comments - yes growbags and techies take note - slag someone off pubically and you are well and truly in the poo!!!!!!!

Lets keep it at a friendly level eh?

[Pontius Navigator]

2-boat, I do not understand? What is 'slagging off' when I say "great blokes all" and clearly try and suggest that there are white as well as black?

[Molesworth Hold]

For 16 bladdders and Sanhezzzz,
Don't forget the ex FS plod who now heads the team of 'enquiry agents' at a regional head office of a very large national firm of lawyers. But without the need of an alsation woof woof:D :D
Or the ex doggy plod Cpl who has been with Coca Cola (Europe) for many years, enjoying 5 star hospitality and first class travel perks, from Monte Carlo to Malmo, and Manchester to Munich:D :D
Not forgetting the ex FS plod who was until recent retirement the head cheeze of security for a world famous merchant bank in the city of London. The perks he had were out of this world.:D :D
When you have had time to choke on the above I'll send you another trio or two.
And let's not forget the former RAFP Sgt who has just been convicted of sexual assault.
http://www.shropshirestar.com/show_article.php?aID=47086

[wg13_dummy]

I'll slag you off publicly, TwoBoats.

Youre a humourless prick and a retarded dog lead holder. You were a WO copper? King of the tits.


Sue me.

[PompeySailor]

Oh grow up for goodness sake - you don't think women use DV claims for thier own purposes, I have seen it probably far more than you, not just in RAFP but civ pol also - why do they never follow through with complaints and why do I go to the same houses all the time????

Get real and I hope you are never on the wrong side of these spurious accusations, I have seen the final results - you haven't.

As for the the small dick reference - you are after all a sailor - I would expect nothing less - ooppss mind the soap sir, suits you sir !!!!! Does that fit !!!!!! OOhhhh nice - ponce
Stereotyping again, tut tut. Isn't there some evidence you should be fabricating now?

My wife works with a DV unit on the South Coast, so let's see who can piss up the wall highest shall we? When she's liaising with people who have had immediate response alarms fitted that the police don't respond to? When she ends up doing interviews at hospital bed sides? When she is trying to house and hostel people who are running from abusive partners. Funny how many coppers fall into that category as well. Funny how they never follow through because they are threatened with more, or are so used to being told that they cannot survive without big ole hubby there to help them out.

Ponce? Quality, must have taken you ages to come up with that one. Go for a lie down, your RAFP-sized brain is probably overheating. Isn't there a barrier you can raise and lower for 10 minutes to calm yourself down?

<edited for spelling that was approaching Plod like stupidity>

[Pontius Navigator]

OK, no names. Who ran the porno cinema as an island airstrip with donkeys on the runway?

Just for the dark blue element, I thought the home video of 2 matelots in Malta was tops. Matelot either side of 'young' lady sitting on settee. Matelot not in action glances to the action and immediately turns away and pukes. Brilliant. Attenborough would have thought it a master piece of casting and directing.

[Laarbruch72]

Can I just say as a new user that I'm utterly appalled at this thread. I cannot believe it hasn't been pulled by now.

Being an RAF Policeman, I am well aware (after 18 years in the job) that we're not exactly the most popular people in the RAF. That's only fair I suppose, but then that's only down to small mindedness and an all too common willingness for some to listen to other people's lies and legends. We are generally a professional and (dare I say it... cue ridicule!) nice bunch of people, although there are of course some jumped up hitlers! (I was one myself for a couple of years in my late teens, but then that's more of a fault in the system and a different subject entirely! And I think I've grown up now...:confused: )

These days you'll find that around 2 thirds of the trade have a specialisation so are more likely to be helping you in some way rather than hindering.

What I cannot believe is that so many (well, 6 or 7, you know who you are) of our so called "professional" pilots, amongst others are actually sticking the knife in as much as you are. Are we not on the same side? Have you REALLY been personally wronged by an RAF Policeman to that extent?

As an aside, I would also like to add that I have found about 50% of this thread to be, in varying amounts, tasteless, sick, humourless, untrue, and most of all childish. The "debating" skills of many also leave a lot to be desired! (And they're not all coppers!)

Banter I can handle with no problems. It's all good to have the p*ss taken out of a trade. However, slander, b*llsh*t and sick comments have no place here in my opinion.

I urge you gentlemen please, to reign this thread in a little (if it must exist), maintain some decorum, and get things back to a humourous footing.

Thanks, I think I'm finished now. :{

Laarbruch72

[Pontius Navigator]

Laarbruch, you are not wrong but, you must admit, there are some comments from those supposed to be RAFP, or ex, whose posts are as inflamatory and agravating as the other side.

To be 'slagged' for naming great blokes is extremely odd. I have been dug out of as many holes as I have seen others buried. Mind you, I have detected a rank bias and that I do NOT like. In that I have in mind an incident at one of the ice stations where the RAFP was intent on having my driver for speeding and ignored my presence in the vehicle. When I intervened I was virtually told to back off.

The lad might have been a legitimate target but NOT in that incident. As we pointed out, the speed limit was 30 mph but we had no way of measuring, legally, the vehicle's speed as it was an ex-RAFG vehicle.

[Lara crofts pants]

I seem to remember you as being the discarded wife of a RAFP - you're really impartial then .... Oh sorry no doubt you are going to claim the old 'domestic violence' b******s!!!!! Easy way out that eh?:D

Crikey, not sure who you think I am, but I think you've got your wires crossed!
I'm afraid I'm one of those pilot types who think you are all oxygen thieves - and you're not changing my view on that matter at all. In fact , I must say that your posts are quite funny, although you had better seek advice for your "anger issues"

[TwoBoats]

Stereotyping again, tut tut. Isn't there some evidence you should be fabricating now?

My wife works with a DV unit on the South Coast, so let's see who can piss up the wall highest shall we? When she's liaising with people who have had immediate response alarms fitted that the police don't respond to? When she ends up doing interviews at hospital bed sides? When she is trying to house and hostel people who are running from abusive partners. Funny how many coppers fall into that category as well. Funny how they never follow through because they are threatened with more, or are so used to being told that they cannot survive without big ole hubby there to help them out.

Ponce? Quality, must have taken you ages to come up with that one. Go for a lie down, your RAFP-sized brain is probably overheating. Isn't there a barrier you can raise and lower for 10 minutes to calm yourself down?

<edited for spelling that was approaching Plod like stupidity>


Back to barriers again - how infantile and old --- as regards your Mrs - I take my hat off to her but don't blame the police for the inadequacies of the social services - if you do then you or your good lady doesn't know the first thing about DV care. IMHO and from my experience, however minimal it may be (:rolleyes: ) the so called helpers of the down trodden - ie DV victims - are not allowed access to the police because of the actions and attitudes of a few what were formerly termed left wing lesbo's. I hope all that has changed .

As regards DV I was merely making a comment on a subject and matter I knew of and was involved in.

Oh and by the way I was the second male officer in my force to be rape and child protection trained, so please don't even try and lecture me!!! You will never come close.

[wg13_dummy]

Oh and by the way I was the second male officer in my force to be rape and child protection trained, so please don't even try and lecture me!!! You will never come close.
What a pompous tw@t.

[Maple 01]

listen to other people's lies and legends

All the incidents I mentioned can be corroborated; I didn't mention the number of lads and lasses pushed towards suicide by the illegal interrogation methods of the RAFP during the great anti-gay which-hunts of the 1980s and 1990s. I was also around when the skuffers where so interested in going after said 'criminals' that they missed the fact that the bloody Stazi (remember them?) had managed to penetrate the station, the only way one was uncovered was when she topped herself when the wall fell. Let’s not forget their glorious attempts to ‘turn’ ordinary servicemen into stool pigeons by use of threats and coercion

There is a PPRuNer that could give chapter and verse on the way RAFP conducted investigations but it looks like he’s too much of a gent to join the bun fight.

Lies and legends?

You obviously weren't in Berlin when I was

[TwoBoats]

What a pompous tw@t.

Not pompous but real - ever spoken to a 5 year old who has been abused - no - well shut the f**k up - I do most days and its not nice.... f:mad: g w:mad: r

[Lara crofts pants]

You will never come close.

Come close to what exactly? Close to being a sad old ex RAFP WO with a chip on his shoulder. I could never lower my IQ that far.

[wg13_dummy]

Not pompous but real - ever spoken to a 5 year old who has been abused - no - well shut the f**k up - I do most days and its not nice.... f:mad: g w:mad: r


Nobody asked you, you prick.

Do you have social issues?

You've proved you have on here.

[TwoBoats]

Lara - just trying to tell it it how it is.

Nothing personal.

[TwoBoats]

Sorry,

Unlike some or should I say most of the posts.

Not all RAFP are the devil incarnate you know - we too have kids and families and can be quite nice - honest!!;)

[wg13_dummy]

Sorry,

Unlike some or should I say most of the posts.

Not all RAFP are the devil incarnate you know - we too have kids and families and can be quite nice - honest!!;)

Clearly not you then. Your posts indicate your as daft as a bag of wasps.

[TwoBoats]

Nobody asked you, you prick.

Do you have social issues?

You've proved you have on here.

Sorry I thought you were posting an opinio about me - can I not reply now - I didn't realise this site was just for those who express an opinion and to allow a reply!

Nobody was asking me but if you post an opinion or reply then I will answer it, if you don't like it - tuff!!!!!!!!!! get used to it because I will reply to all your inane, pointless and futile comments.

[wg13_dummy]

Sorry I thought you were posting an opinio about me - can I not reply now - I didn't realise this site was just for those who express an opinion and to allow a reply!

Nobody was asking me but if you post an opinion or reply then I will answer it, if you don't like it - tuff!!!!!!!!!! get used to it because I will reply to all your inane, pointless and futile comments.


Typical thick copper.



(Thats a statement, not a question or opinion).

[Bing]

Yes I do, which is why the J/T, Sgt and Ch Tech were Courts Marshalled

I know I'm going to come across as a pedant, and I admit I'm crap at spelling etc. but the plural of court martial is courts-martial. You'd think if someone was that good a plod they'd have picked up on that at some point.

[wg13_dummy]

No one asked you about your quals ref kids and rape. Why did you feel the need to drop that into the thread?


(Thats a question btw).

[rock_dove]

TwoBoats, what exactly are you trying to prove? Your too busy biccering about what a difficult job you do to get any type of relevant point across. I would also suggest that some of YOUR posts have been inappropriate.

[movadinkampa747]

And no I don't bite and as for banter - it went well beyond that when someone on this site slagged off the guy who died in theatre - take a look at yourself....... := Well out of order - :( :( :(


Sorry what are you on about? Please let us in on your strange little world.

[Roland Pulfrew]

Ladies please STOP FFS. :zzz:

Either that or undertake your futile exchanges by PM so that this somewhat pointless slanging match can depart from these boards!:( This does not show current or ex RAF in any good light and certainly does not deserve to be on the Professional Pilots Rumour Network!:ugh:

[wg13_dummy]

Ladies please STOP FFS. :zzz:
Either that or undertake your futile exchanges by PM so that this somewhat pointless slanging match can depart from these boards!:( This does not show current or ex RAF in any good light and certainly does not deserve to be on the Professional Pilots Rumour Network!:ugh:


Tell the RAFP that. No one invited them to post! Trust them to gate crash.

[TwoBoats]

This site site and thread used to be one of the better one's when there was objective views expressed - however it has degenerated into a slag off the RAFP because I've been caught out.

I'm not saying that all policemen, military or civvy, are the best in the world, however try it yourself, it's not easy. It is however, easy to slag them off. Just remember, next time you get your house broken into, battered on a night out or whatever, I bet then you're not the same person as you are on this site, gobbing off at every opportunity. If you say you are, then you are a liar.

Have you or those you are responsible for never been over zealous in their approach to their work? No, then look at your methods. There is a difference between over zealous and the pathetic - it's finding the fine line - yes some of the RAFP cross the line - but I ask who asks/tells them to carry out speed checks? Themselves - no I would suggest the Stn Executive does, so surely your gripes about speed checks should be directed towards them - have the the balls to go to your Stn Exec and say what you say here - sorry ladies & gents I think not ....


TwoBoats stands by for incoming ............:rolleyes:

[TwoBoats]

Sorry what are you on about? Please let us in on your strange little world.

Read the previous quotes where some person on this site slaged off a RAFP who dies intheatre and thought it was funny

[Laarbruch72]

Lies and legends?

You obviously weren't in Berlin when I was[/quote]

No I wasn't therefore I can't speak on that. All I can say is that if homosexuality was illegal in the forces at the time, (which obviously it was) then as a trade we're duty bound to investigate. It's not a "Witch hunt", it's our job and it's what we're paid, and directed to do. We don't start the day with the thought "lets go and bash someone", we receive a complaint and we follow it up.

What riles me is a lot of the stories coming out. I've heard them so many times, in so many different guises (When I was at Staxton / Buchan / Bruggen etc etc I heard about a copper nicking kit kats / driving drunk / beating children / invoking satan etc etc). The same stories do the rounds every few years, and when you've been in a while you realise that the same old ****e is coming out again, and again, and again.

Anyway, just my two penn'orth.

[wg13_dummy]

This site site and thread used to be one of the better one's when there was objective views expressed - however it has degenerated into a slag off the RAFP because I've been caught out.

I'm not saying that all policemen, military or civvy, are the best in the world, however try it yourself, it's not easy. It is however, easy to slag them off. Just remember, next time you get your house broken into, battered on a night out or whatever, I bet then you're not the same person as you are on this site, gobbing off at every opportunity. If you say you are, then you are a liar.

Have you or those you are responsible for never been over zealous in their approach to their work? No, then look at your methods. There is a difference between over zealous and the pathetic - it's finding the fine line - yes some of the RAFP cross the line - but I ask who asks/tells them to carry out speed checks? Themselves - no I would suggest the Stn Executive does, so surely your gripes about speed checks should be directed towards them - have the the balls to go to your Stn Exec and say what you say here - sorry ladies & gents I think not ....


TwoBoats stands by for incoming ............:rolleyes:


Thread Title;

Why Nobody Likes RAF Police


Not;

RAFP, justify yourselves.


Two****s, no one cares.

[rock_dove]

This thread is about RAFP not Civillian Police, and I may be wrong, but I dont recall anyone taking issue with the latter.If there is ever an instance where a house has been broken into I'm sure that people would rather see the Civillian Police turn up at the door to assist rather than two goons in white hats.

[TwoBoats]

Gentlemen and ladies I bow to your superior knowldge - I hereby resign from this site as it so baised and not and never will be objective - I will give the poasswordds to all those who seek to find out so much about how HM Forces and her personnel think of eseach other.

It has been of course your pleasure not mine - I just wanted to be part of the banter not a total slagging off without any understanding of what actually goes on - bye

[Laarbruch72]

Thread Title;

Why Nobody Likes RAF Police


Not;

RAFP, justify yourselves.


Two****s, no one cares.

I'm very sorry, I assumed this was a public forum. Oh hang on, it is! Good, I'll stay then, thanks.
When you slander and generalise (poorly) about another trade, you've got to expect someone to stand up for themselves. Or is it the case as with most ex schoolyard bullies, you'll only pick on someone if you don't expect them to fight back?
PS. I don't seem to remember any RAF Police on here complaining about PPruners or ARRsers visiting our own site.... They are PUBLIC FORUMS. Ergo: Shut up.

[Maple 01]

It's not a "Witch hunt",

It was, at least that was how it was described by a High Court Judge a few years back in his summing up

as with most ex schoolyard bullies, you'll only pick on someone if you don't expect them to fight back?

RAFP SOP in the above cases

[movadinkampa747]

Read the previous quotes where some person on this site slaged off a RAFP who dies intheatre and thought it was funny
Why do I need to take a look at myself. Tell me which number thread it was then I will read it and see if I agree or not.

Blimey for someone who is both rape and child protection trained you are not very balanced are you. One minute you are going off at one with rude language you wouldnt expect from a higly trained police officer and the next minute you are saying we are all immature and should grow up. Let your so called CI wife read this site and see what you have been spouting on about.

Waiting for more abuse. But to try and lighten the situation up with a cartoon I obviously know where to get just for you............

http://www.rafpa.com/rafpa.jpg

See ya......................... Dont rush back.:ok:

[Laarbruch72]

It was, at least that was how it was described by a High Court Judge a few years back in his summing up

Fair enough Maple. As I pointed out earlier, I cannot comment on that which I was never involved in. Having no knowledge of the case I'd be naive to express an opinion either way.

[wg13_dummy]

Gentlemen and ladies I bow to your superior knowldge - I hereby resign from this site as it so baised and not and never will be objective - I will give the poasswordds to all those who seek to find out so much about how HM Forces and her personnel think of eseach other.

It has been of course your pleasure not mine - I just wanted to be part of the banter not a total slagging off without any understanding of what actually goes on - bye



(Hint, Two****s, its possibly biased because of the name of the site and this forum. ;))

Don't let the barrier hit you on the head on the way out.

[Tombstone]

I'll slag you off publicly, TwoBoats.

Youre a humourless prick and a retarded dog lead holder. You were a WO copper? King of the tits.


Sue me.

I'll second that!! You are an arrogant **** 2 boats. Do us a favour & dissappear...:yuk:

WO Copper, no doubt about it.

[Laarbruch72]

(Hint, Two****s, its possibly biased because of the name of the site and this forum. ;))

Don't let the barrier hit you on the head on the way out.

Pretty silly comment really. Read "MPGS".

By the way, have some backbone dummy, are you flight deck crew at all?

[movadinkampa747]

Poassworddddddssssssss ?

[wg13_dummy]

Pretty silly comment really. Read "MPGS".
By the way, have some backbone dummy, are you flight deck crew at all?
'Flight deck crew'?
I used to own Flight Deck;
http://www.stuffwelove.co.uk/images/flightdeck.jpg
If you mean 'am I aircrew' then yes. Point being?

[Laarbruch72]

Poassworddddddssssssss ?

Clever boy. One word answer!

[16 blades]

Just remember, next time you get your house broken into, battered on a night out or whatever

If either of the above ever happened, the chances of getting a copper (of any flavour, Civ or RAFP) to do ANYTHING about it are ZERO. Hell, you'd be bloody lucky if they bothered to turn up 3 days later to take your statement.

Drive at 22 mph in a 20 zone, however, or have a black screw holding your registration plate on, and you'll get a whole f*****g squad on you in seconds.

Tw@ts, to a man. ALL of them.

16B

[Roland Pulfrew]

They are PUBLIC FORUMS. Ergo: Shut up.

Laarbruch. Please give it up. 2 Boats has decided to see sense and "resign". This topic does not show anyone in a good light anymore.

[Laarbruch72]

If you mean 'am I aircrew' then yes. Point being?

Point being, this forum is public. So if it's okay for you to slag off a group of people of whom you've probably never met 98% of, then it's just as okay for one of that group to reply.

[wg13_dummy]

Point being, this forum is public. So if it's okay for you to slag off a group of people of whom you've probably never met 98% of, then it's just as okay for one of that group to reply.

Crack on lofty. Just dont go crying 'bully!' when youre outwitted.

[Laarbruch72]

Drive at 22 mph in a 20 zone, however, or have a black screw holding your registration plate on, and you'll get a whole f*****g squad on you in seconds.

Tw@ts, to a man. ALL of them.

16B[/quote]

Aw, bless, has 16b been warned at some point for speeding? (Note warned. I have never in 18 yrs seen someone actually charged so I wish you guys would stop getting the old apple catchers in a twist over it!)

And you have one of those numberplates that changes the reg number to something approximating your name or A/C type or something else equally laughable do you? Guess that makes you the ****.

[movadinkampa747]

Point being, this forum is public. So if it's okay for you to slag off a group of people of whom you've probably never met 98% of, then it's just as okay for one of that group to reply.

Are you the next lamb to the slaughter? Good luck and make it a clean fight. Not a dirty one like the last contestant. A very rude man.:cool:

[Laarbruch72]

Crack on lofty. Just dont go crying 'bully!' when youre outwitted.

Have a go my man. I'm not easily outwitted by your types.

[Tombstone]

A forum for the professionals who fly the non-civilian hardware, and the backroom boys & girls without whom nothing would leave the ground.

Laarbruch72,

take a look at the opening message & please help me out here...

Where the hell do RAFP fit into that sentence? I'm an educated guy however, I'm struggling with this one.:ugh:

[wg13_dummy]

Aw, bless, has 16b been warned at some point for speeding? (Note warned. I have never in 18 yrs seen someone actually charged so I wish you guys would stop getting the old apple catchers in a twist over it!)

And you have one of those numberplates that changes the reg number to something approximating your name or A/C type or something else equally laughable do you? Guess that makes you the ****.


My, my, what an important little twerp you are.

Do you smash the back lights in on kids bikes too?

[movadinkampa747]

'Flight deck crew'?
I used to own Flight Deck;
http://www.stuffwelove.co.uk/images/flightdeck.jpg
If you mean 'am I aircrew' then yes. Point being?

I up the anty with SUPER FLIGHTDECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:p

http://i19.ebayimg.com/03/i/07/b8/19/06_1.JPG

[wg13_dummy]

We couldnt afford 'Super Flight Deck' in my caravan. (not enough room anyway).


As an aside, I saw Flight Deck at a car boot sale a while back and had a quick 'test' of it.




Its ****e. Certainly not what I remember!

[Laarbruch72]

My, my, what an important little twerp you are.

Do you smash the back lights in on kids bikes too?

Got an intelligent reply at all?

[Tombstone]

Got an intelligent reply at all?
How about you answer my question L72?

[movadinkampa747]

Go away Laarbrruch. We are talking about the merits of owning flight deck against super flight deck now.

[16 blades]

Aw, bless, has 16b been warned at some point for speeding? (Note warned. I have never in 18 yrs seen someone actually charged so I wish you guys would stop getting the old apple catchers in a twist over it!)

And you have one of those numberplates that changes the reg number to something approximating your name or A/C type or something else equally laughable do you? Guess that makes you the ****.

No, never been had by your types for speeding or anything else - because I simply tell them to f**k off and drive away. Works every time.

My point was, when you have been a VICTIM of a crime (a REAL crime, not a petty civil offence like speeding) and NEED police assistance, they are nowhere to be found. Police are NOT INTERESTED in fighting crime nowadays; they'd rather chase easy targets, rather than tackling burglars or yobs or violent offenders. This makes them nothing short of cowards.

As a result of being on the recieving end of this kind of incompetence / laziness / cowardice MORE THAN ONCE, I now completeley refuse to co-operate with the police in any situation, save where I'm legally obliged to (and those occasions are few and far between).

16B

[Laarbruch72]

A forum for the professionals who fly the non-civilian hardware, and the backroom boys & girls without whom nothing would leave the ground.

Laarbruch72,

take a look at the opening message & please help me out here...

Where the hell do RAFP fit into that sentence? I'm an educated guy however, I'm struggling with this one.:ugh:

Air Transport Security who sanitise and guard your aircraft. Dog handlers who keep undesirables off the airfield at night, keeping your aircraft safe. AES handlers that ensure that said persons have not managed to get explosives into your aircraft and / or operating area. Counter Intelligence who rid your computers of viruses after you've been playing too much internet golf...... I could go on, but point made I feel.

Besides, as I said earlier, this forum is PUBLIC. Can I be any clearer?
Clearly you're not educated enough.

[Tombstone]

Air Transport Security who sanitise and guard your aircraft. Dog handlers who keep undesirables off the airfield at night, keeping your aircraft safe. AES handlers that ensure that said persons have not managed to get explosives into your aircraft and / or operating area.


So, you're a security guard then?

[16 blades]

Air Transport Security who sanitise and guard your aircraft.

Ah, yes. It's a good job you take all those nail clippers of all those squaddies..., sorry, "Potential Terrorists", when there is a 3 foot fire axe hanging on the bulkhead....

16B

[rock_dove]

Is that it? All of those jobs mentioned can be encompassed by the other trades within the rest of the RAF.

[Laarbruch72]

No, never been had by your types for speeding or anything else - because I simply tell them to f**k off and drive away. Works every time.

My point was, when you have been a VICTIM of a crime (a REAL crime, not a petty civil offence like speeding) and NEED police assistance, they are nowhere to be found. Police are NOT INTERESTED in fighting crime nowadays; they'd rather chase easy targets, rather than tackling burglars or yobs or violent offenders. This makes them nothing short of cowards.

As a result of being on the recieving end of this kind of incompetence / laziness / cowardice MORE THAN ONCE, I now completeley refuse to co-operate with the police in any situation, save where I'm legally obliged to (and those occasions are few and far between).

16B

Hmm, maybe you need to speak to OC Police, Stn Cdr etc if you've received less than acceptable service from your local plods? Whingeing about it here gets nobody anywhere. OC plod doesn't know where his lads are going wrong, Stn Cdr is similarly none the wiser.
Tell us and we can put it right.

[Tombstone]

No, never been had by your types for speeding or anything else - because I simply tell them to f**k off and drive away. Works every time.

My point was, when you have been a VICTIM of a crime (a REAL crime, not a petty civil offence like speeding) and NEED police assistance, they are nowhere to be found. Police are NOT INTERESTED in fighting crime nowadays; they'd rather chase easy targets, rather than tackling burglars or yobs or violent offenders. This makes them nothing short of cowards.
16B

Well said. It truly is a sad state of affairs when statistics run the police forces of today.

L72,

just for you, statistics are when clever people put lots of figures (numbers) together & then come up with a lovely graph (not for you to crayon over) showing just how great they are. Ask your Air Dog for more details & make sure you call him sir when asking.;)

[Laarbruch72]

Is that it? All of those jobs mentioned can be encompassed by the other trades within the rest of the RAF.

Well crack on with them Rock. They're thankless tasks (as we're proving here quite well). Find me someone else to do them and I'll go elsewhere, hell I'm only hanging on for the pension.
But oh, hang on a minute, these are jobs no-one else wants aren't they? So just be glad someone does.

[wg13_dummy]

Air Transport Security who sanitise and guard your aircraft. Dog handlers who keep undesirables off the airfield at night, keeping your aircraft safe. AES handlers that ensure that said persons have not managed to get explosives into your aircraft and / or operating area. Counter Intelligence who rid your computers of viruses after you've been playing too much internet golf...... I could go on, but point made I feel.

Besides, as I said earlier, this forum is PUBLIC. Can I be any clearer?
Clearly you're not educated enough.

I'm sure the MoD could pop down to the local job centre and recruit various window lickers to carry out the same chad valley tasks. I'll bet they could be trained in a day or two as well. Think of the cost saving.

As for "Got an intelligent reply at all?"

I'm aiming at the guest audience. Bring your dog on line and I'll give you one.

[Safety_Helmut]

Gentlemen and ladies I bow to your superior knowldge - I hereby resign from this site as it so baised and not and never will be objective - I will give the poasswordds to all those who seek to find out so much about how HM Forces and her personnel think of eseach other.
good f*cking riddance, how's about you do one now L72

[Laarbruch72]

Ask your Air Dog for more details & make sure you call him sir when asking.;)[/quote]

From a commisioned Officer, that is a really REALLY stupid, vacuous comment.

I'm not a dog handler and never have been. Go fly your glider! (See how ignorant some people can really be?)

[Tombstone]

Well crack on with them Rock. They're thankless tasks (as we're proving here quite well).hang on a minute, these are jobs no-one else wants aren't they? So just be glad someone does.

You actually have a point there.

[Laarbruch72]

As for "Got an intelligent reply at all?"

I'm aiming at the guest audience. Bring your dog on line and I'll give you one.[/quote]

See reply above. So predictably stupid for a growbag.

[rock_dove]

Well crack on with them Rock. They're thankless tasks (as we're proving here quite well). Find me someone else to do them and I'll go elsewhere, hell I'm only hanging on for the pension.
But oh, hang on a minute, these are jobs no-one else wants aren't they? So just be glad someone does.

We will do, once SERCO has taken complete control of the barriers......

[Laarbruch72]

You actually have a point there.

Ah, light dawns! :ok:

Thanks tomb.

[Tombstone]

It wasn't a stupid comment, it was banter, hence the ;).

[Laarbruch72]

We will do, once SERCO has taken complete control of the barriers......

It's MPGS on the gates mainly and that's been the staus quo for about a year now.

DO catch up dear chap!

[wg13_dummy]

Ah, light dawns! :ok:

Thanks tomb.


I think you missed the irony by about 20,000 ft.

[Laarbruch72]

It wasn't a stupid comment, it was banter, hence the ;).

Fair enough, didn't see the winky!

As I've said all along, banter is good. Slagging and slander I don't do.

Thanks.

[Laarbruch72]

I think you missed the irony by about 20,000 ft.

Maybe. Explain it to me. I'm only a stupid copper and have no idea how this high humour and sarcasm thing works.

Oh please?

[Tombstone]

I think you missed the irony by about 20,000 ft.

I'll raise your 20K with another 20K.

[Maple 01]

Don’t forget if the Irony goes above FL245 you're under radar control wg13

Sorry Lar, can only do listening watch at your level.....

[wg13_dummy]

Don’t forget if the Irony goes above FL245 you're under radar control wg13
Sorry Lar, can only do listening watch at your level.....


If I'm at FL245, something has gone very, very wrong. :ooh:

[Laarbruch72]

Don’t forget if the Irony goes above FL245 you're under radar control wg13

Sorry Lar, can only do listening watch at your level.....

That's okay buddy. You're only an ASSISTANT after all. We'll have to rely on the proper controllers to do the hard stuff.
:E

[Maple 01]

Ah, sorry, one of those? FIS OK?

[wg13_dummy]

That's okay buddy. You're only an ASSISTANT after all. We'll have to rely on the proper controllers to do the hard stuff.
:E

As with you bunch of chumps. Youre just lead holders for the real brains of the operation.

[Laarbruch72]

If I'm at FL245, something has gone very, very wrong. :ooh:

Well you will go trusting an RAF AATC!

"Joint guardian 95, climb flight level 245"

"Your reply here!"

[Laarbruch72]

As with you bunch of chumps. Youre just lead holders for the real brains of the operation.

Chump? Probably. At least I'm not the chump prompting you to bust your ceiling.

And yet again, I don't have a dog. Never have.

[Maple 01]

You see? another copper that assumes before checking! As twoboats was told, I'm not AATC! It might supprise you to know that things aren't always what they seem! You'd have known that if you'd have read the full thread, but hey! Why change the habit of a lifetime? Why not just jump in with your size (and now I'm assuming) 9s?

[wg13_dummy]

Chump? Probably. At least I'm not the chump prompting you to bust your ceiling.

And yet again, I don't have a dog. Never have.


I fly a helicopter, ceiling busts are a dream not an option. It's like an aeroplane but with a big propellor (you know; the thing that most of you lot should have on both shoulders).


Top tip. Buy a dog. You'll double your IQ over night.

[Laarbruch72]

I fly a helicopter, ceiling busts are a dream not an option. It's like an aeroplane but with a big propellor (you know; the thing that most of you lot should have on both shoulders).


Top tip. Buy a dog. You'll double your IQ over night.

So if ATC tell you to climb FL 25, and you climb FL 35, that's not a bust? I'm pretty sure it is.
I'm afraid that I don't have a big "propellor" on my shoulders, no. For the record I think the A/Cpl rank is needing replacing too. But only with something seperate from the RAF rank structure. (BTW, you surely MUST be aware that the rank is only given for charging purposes?) I don't hear anyone complaining about RAF PTI's getting acting Cpl rank (PAID) after training!!

So what helicopter do you fly? Green, navy and yellow or white?

[movadinkampa747]

So if ATC tell you to climb FL 25, and you climb FL 35, that's not a bust?

No because there is no such thing as FL25. I think you mean FL250. You see it aint easy being an Air traffic controller.

[Maple 01]

I don't hear anyone complaining about RAF PTI's getting acting Cpl rank (PAID) after training!!

Feel free to start a 'why don't they disband the RAF PTIs' thread, I guarantee it will be nearly as popular as this one. But I wouldn't expect too many replies from them, what with there being so many mirrors in the world and all

You see it aint easy being an Air traffic controller.

Not that I was one of course, alt given in feet up-until 3,000ft?

Lar you're dark to me.....

[Laarbruch72]

No because there is no such thing as FL25. I think you mean FL250. You see it aint easy being an Air traffic controller.

Clearly not! Renewed respect! You were quite right. Should have added that zero!
Anyway, my point remains extant. Helicopters can and do bust ceilings.

[Shjustme]

'Intelligence' has been mentioned regarding the plods, and of course it is a small world we all live in, so not everybody can get the 'top job', whether they be pilots or navs or shelf stackers or plumbers or plods.

As far as I am aware no RAF pilot or nav or shelf stacker has ever been elected chairman of MENSA, whereas one RAF Plod Cpl was some years ago. Probably another lined up for the post in due course...a worthy successor to Cpl Bill ******* who sadly passed away some years ago.

[16 blades]

Not that I was one of course, alt given in feet up-until 3,000ft?
Depends on the Transition Altitude in effect for the area. In N. America it's 18,000ft.
As far as I am aware no RAF pilot or nav or shelf stacker has ever been elected chairman of MENSA, whereas one RAF Plod Cpl was some years ago.
Sure that wasn't the dog?

16B

[movadinkampa747]

whether they be pilots or navs or shelf stackers or plumbers or plods.

Isnt it intersting what order you put those jobs in with plods last behind plumbers.

[Laarbruch72]

Surely writing statements from witnesses demands accuracy and attention to detail. Both of which you have just proved you do not posses.:E

Go on then. Point out my error....

Unless you mean the FL 25 thing.... As I'm not a AATC ATCO or a SATCO, then surely I can be forgiven that one????

I'm not bad at statements though, try me before you buy.... first one free!!

:ok:

[Laarbruch72]

Lar you're dark to me.....

Meaning? You sayin I'm black??? lol

[Laarbruch72]

Sure that wasn't the dog?

16B

Cracking reply! Way to go that intelligent aircrewman there!
Sadly it's all a bit predictable really.... bit like the dig (from one of my own before you start) about navy boys being "soap on a rope" characters!

It's all bad and a waste of webspace. The dog and the gate things? Please stop before my sides split!

[wg13_dummy]

'Intelligence' has been mentioned regarding the plods, and of course it is a small world we all live in, so not everybody can get the 'top job', whether they be pilots or navs or shelf stackers or plumbers or plods.
As far as I am aware no RAF pilot or nav or shelf stacker has ever been elected chairman of MENSA, whereas one RAF Plod Cpl was some years ago. Probably another lined up for the post in due course...a worthy successor to Cpl Bill ******* who sadly passed away some years ago.

Dont you mean MENCAP?

[Maple 01]

Ooooh, I might have known him, did gate at Wycombe years back with a very bright Copper with two degrees - he'd just PVRd because he was "sick of a sh*t job working with a bunch of w@nkers" and he wasn't talking about the SGF - discuss

Edited because the PPRuNe filter didn't pick-up the rude words

[Laarbruch72]

Dont you mean MENCAP?

Duh, I am only a copper so I can't read.

Dummy, can you do me a favour and re-read that mans post for me?
My dog told me it was about MENSA. You a member at all?
My dog certainly is and he has 9 GCSE's and 3 A levels he could woof at you about!

[Maple 01]

I wouldn't go down the education path here Lar........

[Laarbruch72]

Ooooh, I might have known him, did gate at Wycombe years back with a very bright Copper with two degrees - he'd just PVRd because he was "sick of a **** job working with a bunch of wankers" and he wasn't talking about the SGF - discuss

Discuss? Certainly. We all have our own education levels. (What are yours by the way?). This man found himself in a job he hated. No news there I'm afraid. He moved on (or so we are led to speculate). Good for him. I wish him my best.
He didn't like the 3 or 4 guys he worked with. Stop the press! Personality clashes! Oh my god! Stop the RAF I want to get off!

You did the gate with him? So he wasn't doing very well then. No specialisation. There you go.

I've personally had a great time in the trade, ranging from being a little hitler at 18-20, learning my way up, being a friendly policeman at various stations, (and yes I made friends! Check me out!) to being ATSy, CI, and various since.

Have I worked with wankers? Of course I have!

Have most of my colleagues been nice guys looking out for other RAF types? Of course they have!

Get some perspective, before being quite so anal gives you a heart attack.

Best regards as always

[Maple 01]

CSE Grade 4 Woodwork and Cookery (Domestic science)

[wg13_dummy]

Why join the RAFP? Why not join the proper coppers?

[Laarbruch72]

CSE Grade 4 Woodwork and Cookery

Lol, you old wag you!

[Shjustme]

I wonder why some of the genuine cream of top pilots in the RAF, past and present, do not contibute here to help their poor inadequate brethern. People like Thomas Kennedy, Michael Stear, Michael Knight, Michael Graydon, etc, all of whom always had a good word to say about the plods.
When millions of pens, pencils, paperclips, paper, rulers, china graphs, rubbers, were being ''''used'''' at a secret airbase outside Witney, Air Pubs staff thought it very odd, as staffing levels on base suggested that only 0.0000001% of this amount should be used. So the suspicion was, due to our '''sneaky beaky background checks''' that aircrew in particular were prone to 'nicking' such items, so Staish ''ordered'' a hard crack down with searches of all cars, brief cases and plastic bags leaving the base during one afternoon....... Well, amongst allegations from the toffee nosed ruperts, were things like ''have you nothing better to do Cpl?'' as we impounded crate loads of ''stolen goods''.... One Flt Lt had 2 full boxes of HM's biro pens in his nav bag.....(very greedy b@st@rd).... Over a period of a month at no-notice searches being sprung for half hour sessions or so 24/7, we recovered enough stolen goods to equip the whole RAF for years......CO was most appreciative of our '''zeal''' when searching, although probably no-one else was... No charges or arrests made, but everybody on base got the message, that next time CM and the order of the boot... Several careers came to a halt, never to recover. What a shame (NOT);)
At a Friday afternoon 'fanta and coke do' at the end of the month, CO came along and said that we would take a lot of flak for what we had done on '''his orders''' that month, but we should be proud of our work, and we knew he mean't it... Damn fine CO he was.... guarenteed to get to the top, as he did later on, ACM.
Cannot see any of the aircrew on this forum getting to ''the top''
Just not up to the challenge...

[Laarbruch72]

Why join the RAFP? Why not join the proper coppers?

In my case? I was only 17 and a half. The RAF will have you, the civi plod won't entertain the notion. As I said before, you can devote another thread abouth that policy, and I'm probably on your side.

It doesn't lead to bad policemen by the way, just over zealous young ones. We all grow up eventually. ( I believe I'm nearly there.. what say you fido?)

[Maple 01]

LOL, the great stationary snatch - pity about missing the Stazi agents running around RAFG but never mind - another good story for the reunions there

Hells bells, give me an arrogant, pissed-up winged wonder every time, at least they are there to provide airpower rather than to protect the chinagraphs

[wg13_dummy]

One Flt Lt had 2 full boxes of HM's biro pens in his nav bag.


Lolol. PMSL!!!


That must rank alongside the Met lifting 3000kg of Columbian marching powder.


Will you recite that story to your grand kids?

'Grandad, what did you do in the RAF?'

'I was responsible for breaking a stationary laundering ring'

'F**k me, you were RAF plod, grandad? What a dullard!'

[Shjustme]

16Weakbladders,

No he did not have a dog, certainly not when he appeared on the Jimmy Young prog, no need to really, as he was perfectly able to speak eloquently on the subjects put to him by Jimmy:D :D

Of course Bill ********* was a totally different chap to the very rare type who do let the plods down, giving the rest a bad name. Gits like the self confessed thief whose day job is as an actor, currently featuring on that crappy prog 'Eastenders' The bloke with all those daughters, who are a load of trouble, Jess something being one of them, can't remember his name as I don't follow the s**t, but anyway, he did his national service as raf plod, then went out to play with the Kray twins.... Always one bad apple in a cart.

[Laarbruch72]

[quote=Maple 01]LOL, the great stationary snatch - pity about missing the Stazi agents running around RAFG

WOW!
What is this thing you have about the Stazi in Germany, was one of them having a wee bit with the wife? Regularly? It seems just too close to the heart for some reason!

As I said (again and again) earlier, I wasn't there. Neither was anyone else representing the RAFP on this forum, so yet again, with any authority, WE CAN NOT COMMENT! As far as I can see It wasn't their job at the time to detect Stazi agents anyway. MI6 are supposed to do that.

Correct me if wrong, as always, but be gentle!

Hugs and kisses.

[Maple 01]

He didn't like the 3 or 4 guys he worked with

er, no, he didn't like the whole RAFP thing, sorry if I didn't make that plain enough -if it was a problem with the section he could have asked to be posted. One thing I did learn from him was that RAF Coppers liked to 'do' other RAFP to improve their standing with the chain of command - but I'm sure that was just a few isolated incidents in the past and couldn't happen now.....

[Maple 01]

WOW!
What is this thing you have about the Stazi in Germany, was one of them having a wee bit with the wife? Regularly? It seems just too close to the heart for some reason

Naah mate, just pissed-off with the incompetence levels of the Counter Sy boys, but if you don't see it as a problem having a hostile nation's intelligence service running around while the plod were chasing people for 25k in a 20 then I suspect you were part of the problem, rather than the solution.

Or are you feeling picked on? "Sheesh, a few lousy security breaches and they never forget, me? I saved the chinagraphs and they didn't give me a medal"

Tell me you didn't get an AOCs for that.......

You weren't there? It had been going on since the early 1970s at least. Didn't they let you out of the country?

As far as I can see It wasn't their job at the time to detect Stazi agents

Berlin upto 1989 = occupied city therefore under military law, therefore Counter Sy responsibility of RAFP. In the rest of RAFG if there was no Counter Sy role why were so many of the buggers there?

[Time Flies]

I have sat back and watched this thread go from bad to worse. Can we please bring it to an end! :ugh:

Can everyone who belongs in this forum please stop posting on this thread in the hope that Laarbruch72 and Shjustme disappear.

Pretty please! :rolleyes:

[Laarbruch72]

Lolol. PMSL!!!


'Grandad, what did you do in the RAF?'

'I was responsible for breaking a stationary laundering ring'

'F**k me, you were RAF plod, grandad? What a dullard!'

"Grandad Dummy, (assuming you're ever capable of the first part of all of this, i.e. sticking one in without being guided by someone on a headset just to get a child), what did you do in the war?"
Select from the following:
1: I hung around in Bahrain getting pissed on the taxpayers money, making the occasional twice fortnightly soiree into (safe as houses if not off camp) Kabul to get my medal, whilst moaning about the danger at 30,000 feet. (See Basrah)
2. I shat it at a UK base moaning about doing CCS.
3: I spent a month in Basrah (safe as houses if not off camp also) moaning about the mess facilities, and the danger of the ground to air threat just to get my medal. (Even though there are no credible enemy air forces or ground threat operating in any current theatre!)

Brave men, to a man. I salute you all!

[Maple 01]

You are clear inbound hot wg13

[wg13_dummy]

"Grandad Dummy, (assuming you're ever capable of the first part of all of this, i.e. sticking one in without being guided by someone on a headset just to get a child), what did you do in the war?"
Select from the following:
1: I hung around in Bahrain getting pissed on the taxpayers money, making the occasional twice fortnightly soiree into (safe as houses if not off camp) Kabul to get my medal, whilst moaning about the danger at 30,000 feet. (See Basrah)
2. I shat it at a UK base moaning about doing CCS.
3: I spent a month in Basrah (safe as houses if not off camp also) moaning about the mess facilities, and the danger of the ground to air threat just to get my medal. (Even though there are no credible enemy air forces or ground threat operating in any current theatre!)

Brave men, to a man. I salute you all!


1. Spent several tours in Northern Ireland as an Infantryman. Mid 80's South Armagh, West Belfast, Londonderry. (several contacts, lost approx 10 mates in the first two tours alone).
2. Bosnia (when the war was still on. Plenty of contacts)
3. That accounts for two of my six gongs. I'll not bore you with the rest.
4. Best you do a little bit of homework and discover I'm not a sideways walker but a pongo.

Detective work not your strong point?