Bit of a challenge, this NOTAM ...

[Gertrude the Wombat]

"OXFORD JOHN RADCLIFFE HOSPITAL. 3 CRANES ADJACENT TO SITE.
ALL HEL TO CALL HOSPITAL SWITCHBOARD BEFORE USE TO ENSURE CRANE JIBS
NOT OBSTRUCTING HEL LDG SITE."

Now, how long before the local schoolboys start showing off to the girlies by phoning up on their mobes, pretending to be helicopter pilots, and watching the cranes move out of the way out of the classroom window?

[helicopter-redeye]

to which we should add, "..and do so before taking off":O

[J.A.F.O.]

Gertrude

I'd never have thought of doing that, you are truly sick and twisted; I like that in a wombat. If only I lived nearer to Oxford I'd be trying it.

[Gertrude the Wombat]

I've got teenage kids ...

[Mike Cross]

Eh?

http://www.rspb.org.uk/Images/craneart180_tcm3-56500.jpg

[helicopter-redeye]

"The beauty of the English language is the ability to introduce ambiguity". Discuss

[Pierre Argh]

I've had teenage kids... but to my knowledge none read NOTAMS.

[IO540]

How about this one then:


NAVW: FROM 05/09/29 11:00 TO 05/10/04 06:45 A1698/05
E)NAVIGATIONAL WARNING TO ALL CONCERNED:
THIS NOTAM IS ISSUED TO STATE THAT TURKISH NOTAM A2419/05
LTAAYNYX IS MISLEADING AND UNACCEPTABLE SINCE GREECE HAS
NEVER REFUSED TO PROMULGATE A RELEVANT NOTAM.
ON THE CONTRARY RELATIVE NOTAM A1674/05 LGGGYNYX, DATED 26
SEP 2005, HAS BEEN ISSUED ANNOUNCING THE SAID TURKISH
MILITARY EXERCISE ACTIVITIES WITHIN ATHINAI FIR.
FURTHERMORE HELLENIC CAA HAS INFORMED TURKEY, BY
COORDINATION MESSAGE, THAT AS THE COMPETENT AUTHORITY
TO ISSUE NOTAMS ONLY WITHIN ATHINAI FIR, ACCORDING TO
ICAO RULES AND REGULATIONS, HAS ALREADY ISSUED NOTAM
A1674/05 LGGGYNYX FOR ALL FOUR EXERCISE AREAS, WHICH
LIE WITHIN ATHINAI FIR ACCORDING TO THE OFFICIAL ICAO
AERONAUTICAL CHARTS AND RELEVANT ICAO REGIONAL AGREEMENTS.
CONSEQUENTLY, THE ABOVE SAID TURKISH NOTAM A2419/05 LTAAYNYX
IS ILLEGAL SINCE IT REFERS TO TURKISH MILITARY ACTIVITIES
NOT ONLY WITHIN ISTANBUL FIR BUT ALSO WITHIN ATHINAI FIR
WHERE THE ONLY COMPETENT AUTHORITY TO PROMULGATE AND
ISSUE NOTAMS IS THE HELLENIC CIVIL AVIATION AUTHORITY AND
THEREFORE IT IS CONSIDERED NULL AND VOID CONCERNING
ITS PARTS, WHICH REFER TO AREAS WITHIN ATHINAI FIR.

[TheOddOne]

Wonderful!

Try getting something like that past the NOTAM office at Heathrow! Just wouldn't happen. I'll never take their name in vain again (well, not for a while, anyway).

It makes me glad that we've got a filter on our AFTN machine


TOO

[dublinpilot]

By the sounds of it, you'll never get through to that number anyway:rolleyes:

ALL HEL TO CALL