The aeroplane I most hate to work on... [Archive]

greaseytech

5th Dec 1999, 01:39

TDD, you and I must be on the same wave length as I was going to log on and post the same question! I can tell you that the worst aircraft that I worked on was the Phantom F4 with Rolls Royce Spey engines. The person that designed this particular beast obviously never intended to work on it himself as everything is at best awkward to get at. As an ex-RAF A-Tehc-P I can say that everything concerning the motors is a nightmare to get to, everything on the engines is either buried, or you need to remove the engines to access them. And removing and fitting the engines is by no means easy. For my troubles I now have a permenant back injury which I attribute to the working practices involved with being a Phantom Phixer. To access the engines you had to lower all the belly doors and these can be heavy. During the 1980's there were defence cuts which usually involved reducing manpower so a job that should take two blokes, quite often you had to do on your own with all the 'No whinging' constraints that go with being in the military. The day that Phantoms were withdrawn from service I went out and celibrated in fine style, and I still have the hangover. These days I work on 757's and 767's which throw up their own challenges, but compared to Phantoms these aircraft re luxury to work on.

So come on all you techies out there in Pprune Land, tell us what are worst and best aircraft to work on.

phyxit

5th Dec 1999, 08:29

Speaking as a small airplane fixer, anything made by Beech Craft, particularly the Duke and QueenAir. The Queen makes a real airplane noise (not that Hoover noise that PT6s make) but that's the only good thing about it.
My theory is that after Walter Beech died and his wife Olive took over the company some Engineer must have "done her wrong" and she spend the rest of her life trying to get even.

WideBodiedEng

5th Dec 1999, 16:46

Rallyes - should all be burnt - I won't touch them!!
Aztec - another piece of garbage.
Early Citations, bit awkward and as for the III/VII

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The Stamp is mightier than the Toolbox!!

The hippy

5th Dec 1999, 17:00

Being 6ft 3in, anything smaller than a HS748 means damage to the brain container but for trapped or squashed fingers a BAC1-11 undercarriage bay takes the cake for me. ( was it ever dry in there!)

H721

5th Dec 1999, 19:01

Still remember the Tristar days when doing trouble shooting or component change in the hydraulic bay with hydraulic systems pressurized for some reasons, one needs an all-cover-up goggle and oxygen mask, you can hardly breathe!!

For the 74, if doing those vertical fin h11 attachment bolts chnages, we need to hire some extra child labour; anyone higher than 5' simply can't squeeze inside the centre box partition.

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Not much of an engineer

[This message has been edited by H721 (edited 05 December 1999).]

Bus429

5th Dec 1999, 21:21

The A300-600 & 310-300 landing gear bays are always soaked with hydraulic fluid. That said, I did not mind working on them.

TwoDeadDogs

5th Dec 1999, 21:46

Noice wahn,moy sahns!!
Looks like we struck pay-grease here!
Greycone,we'll have stout in Kealys' and have a good moan at 14sicks.
Greaseytech, those F4s were awful yokes.What possessed the Raff to bodge up those guzzling,noisy Speys into a perfectly good aeroplane.Is it true you had to pull the ejection seats to take out the comm boxes?Typical military thinking.
Phyxit,the 200 wasn't bad,but a bit narrow.The A/cond. manifold was a guaranteed knuckle grazer and a pain in the rusty to wirelock!
Wideguy,if it wasn't for Rallyes rotting,there'd be no work for the little guys.Long may they rot!Still,if you're who I think you are,aren't you intimate with small Cessnas.How does the wideBody fit in?! Are the ****ations really that bad? Is it true about the RPM cables in those Aztecs? Pints in Kealys'?
H721..That Tristar sounds appalling! Br.Apparati in the Bay! Jesus wept.
Thanx a lot,lads
TDD

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Drink,gurls,****,arse...

greycone

6th Dec 1999, 01:17

TDD,new notice on the board re C2H5O2 uptake in the Coach after earlies 16 Dec.

greaseytech

6th Dec 1999, 13:13

TDD with ref to removing the exploding chairs to remove com boxes, I believe that is true, but as I was a sumpie I did not get too involved in such practices. I can tell you that you had to remove the right engine to replace the anti-ice valve. The F4 re-engined with Speys was a rushed concept with no thought put into maintaining the aircraft, and as far as I am concerned, should never have left the drawing board.

CCA

6th Dec 1999, 13:23

The Classic H11 bolt's I agree,flap track fwd fitting's,hyd pipe installation after the pylon mod's and anything in the stab especially applying cpc.I'm 6,4 so any thing in small places get's annoying the Center tank a dream.

CCA

6th Dec 1999, 13:26

Sorry I missed one, cargo torque boxes. oh to be an apprentice again

SeldomFixit

6th Dec 1999, 17:14

DC 3's.......always seemed to be going uphill

H721

6th Dec 1999, 18:10

CCA,

I'm 5'10" and have no complaint going into a 74 centre fuel tank. If I have 3 other guys with me, we can play mahjong (or bridge for expats) there, of course with the right ventilation. The ctr tank inside is so spacious!

U are so right that the access man hole is a nightmare for anyone heavier than 200 Lbs.

I myself had done vertical/horizontal fin interior cpc work. In both instances I was certified by the company doctor not fit for work the very next day.

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Not much of an engineer

[This message has been edited by H721 (edited 06 December 1999).]

JET SET SPARKY

6th Dec 1999, 21:43

....from distant past,BAe Jetstream 31 windshield wiper motor change....keep losing drive adapter,'mare to wirelock,upside down in tiny cockpit for ages
Made me cry a lot http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif
Also setting up the elevator posn.tx.on BAC 1-11 could be a pain in backside.....

unable to fault.pls monitor and report further.....

CCA

6th Dec 1999, 23:02

Sorry should have said ctr tank is a dream come true.

TwoDeadDogs

7th Dec 1999, 09:49

CCA,
That reminds me of a story I heard about two Yank techs being caught "hiding the sausage" in a 747 fuel tank.Instant P45s!
Greasey,
I'm convinced design offices have a competition to make aircraft as awkward as poss. and have a permanent bet to see how many wirelock cuts per square mech they can achieve.Another bitch:anything behind the instruments in a small aircraft/wiper motor on an F50/stab. bolts on a Marchetti(chimney-boy job)/fitting flexible fuel tanks to a KingAir...
Cheers
TDD

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Drink,gurls,****,arse...

wrencher

8th Dec 1999, 00:28

ANYHTING BUSTED ON THE RAMP WHEN ITS RAINING

LME (GOD)

8th Dec 1999, 06:09

My prize goes to BAC 1-11. It leaked everything, O2, N2 and hyds. A brake took 13 hrs to change, airconditioning system was designed by the runner-up, and if I every meet the bloke who put the discharge valve there, he'll be having Mr. Maglite surgically removed. As a short-**** myself, I just got thrown in over the battery. Sob....

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It flew in, it'll fly out

TwoDeadDogs

8th Dec 1999, 08:57

Greycone,
Kealy's,after the earlies,for induction of the black stuff,16th of Dec.Widester,if you're around,we'll be there about 3.30-ish.
Regards
TDD

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Drink,gurls,****,arse...

greycone

8th Dec 1999, 22:50

TDD have you no life.What are you doing on the net at 04:57.Slid off early again I see.I think its the Coachmans not Kealys.
My pet hate is the wiper motor on the F50.Or anything on the 14sicks.

growler

9th Dec 1999, 03:33

707 or 1-11 for me. You only had to look at the JT3 to get soot all over your hands. i can only agree with the earlier posting about the discharge valve and air cond system on the 1-11.As an almost 6ft apprentice I was thrown over the battery many a time. The toilets were also a work of art, using a squash ball for some reason I recall.
Talking of 1-11 bogs, reminds me of a time when we had a one come in with a u/s bog. We had a resident professional 'snurger' on shift who wasn't afraid to put his hand down any hole. So, sleeves up and gloves on, down he goes into the tank. What does he pull out?
A rabbitt? No. A polythene package. Said package is taken to hangar bog and washed off/opened. Inside we found a selection of gold and other such metal watch straps.
Not sure if he went to lost property/HM Customs or not.

SeldomFixit

9th Dec 1999, 07:17

Often wondered as an apprenticle whether or not you REALLY needed to have said apprenticle stuffed inside a 707 radome and if you did, why did it take so long for the greaser on the outside to do up the attatchments ?

The hippy

10th Dec 1999, 00:37

Ive just thought of something far worse than a 1-11 !!!!
an A320 toilet system.
removing a blockage ( one of those things ladies use periodically )from the y junction on top of the waste tank ,which has filled the pipe up from the front to the back with p**s

sometimes a snorkel may just be the thing to keep your head above water!

TwoDeadDogs

10th Dec 1999, 06:00

Hi,Hippy,
I had to deal with a 146 bog blockage one time.After fishing about for a while,I pulled out a bread tongs.When I asked the hostie,she denied all knowledge...mondo bizarro!!
regards
TDD

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Drink,gurls,****,arse...

JET SET SPARKY

11th Dec 1999, 22:16

HIPPY.....u charter or scheduled man at BHX?

Far out..

The hippy

13th Dec 1999, 03:20

i have the joy of charter work at BHX working for the 13th letter of the alphabet

Bus429

13th Dec 1999, 22:12

Hippy - you have worked at MAN, have you not?

Blacksheep

14th Dec 1999, 12:47

The Shorts Belfast.

Designed by Republicans and built by Loyalists! The electrical system (?) was truly amazing!

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Info noted. Plse report further.

greaseytech

14th Dec 1999, 13:25

While taking out a 767-200 bog tank, a colleague of mine was sure that the tanks were enpty. The honey wagon had sucked out all it could, so it was assumed that everything was OK. What he hadn't bargined for was someting blocking the outlet of the aft tank. So when he released the clamp all sorts of yuck gushed out all over him, about 10 gallons in all! the plane stunk for all the time it was on it's 'C' check and so did my mate!

Another time, when we had 737's, the fin tip was removed. A bispecticalled colleague was on the top of the docking and looked down the black hole that was the exposed fin.
'It would be a bugger if you dropped anything down there, you wuold never get it back' he said. At that one of the lenses of his glasses fell out and he was left stranded on the tail docking as we were wetting our selves laughing. After a while it dawned on us that we had to escort this poor unfortunate bloke down to floor level and then we had to devise a way of retrieving the errant lense. All in a days work I suppose!

The hippy

14th Dec 1999, 23:39

bus 429

yes worked Manchester, and lasham for Dan Air
and then FLS

HiSpeedTape

31st Dec 1999, 21:57

Yep, the supersonic bogs on the A320 and a particular C registered 757 !

spanners

1st Jan 2000, 19:51

Got to be the L1011.
lots of lovely jobs on that:
Slat PDU change,
Wirelocking rudder fine steering actuator,
and the best one of all time, the turd tank failure in the FESC. The FCES computer really was a Feces computer that day! the duct connecting one of the fwd toilets had also failed and people were using the toilet straight into the avionics compartment. (Mainly over the radio rack)A & C heroes had to clean the mess up, during which time I almost vomitted to add to the mess!

Flying Banana

1st Jan 2000, 22:13

A320 toilet tank quantity system without a doubt - tiny lose nuts too small to wear industrial thickness turd proof gloves and a sensor mounted at the bottom of the tank.Merde!
And we thought we were slipping about on fresh Astrolan -turns out some bugger had had the sensor out previous day 'checked and cleaned'the log said BA***RD! :mad:

[This message has been edited by Flying Banana (edited 01 January 2000).]

The hippy

4th Jan 2000, 02:42

Many moons ago, I had a 737 arrive on stand with a reported loss of omega navigation, auto pilot taking a severe commanded right turn while in cruise, and other navigational problems. On opening the E/E bay door,to my grief discovered the forward toilet had split and it's contents had poured down into the avionics bay, all over the forward avionics rack.A clean up job that is difficult to forget.

Panman

5th Jan 2000, 17:15

Would you guys stop this!!
I am an aspiring mech in the final year of my A&P course as Northbrook College and all these bog nightmare stories is making me think seriously about giving up the course.

:c)

[This message has been edited by Panman (edited 05 January 2000).]

greycone

5th Jan 2000, 23:28

Panman,A little advice.Specialise in being a conehead and then you will be able to hand over all those lovely Turd rate jobs to those best suited for it,The Hairy Arses.
Please wake me if a Radio snag comes in. :) :)

TwoDeadDogs

6th Jan 2000, 06:41

Greybone,
the only reason you're a spark is because you can count to eleven without having to take your boots off.Stick your head over the parapet again and I'll arrange an APU change for you.
Cheers
TDD

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Drink,gurls,****,arse...

skydozer

6th Jan 2000, 13:01

146 gets my vote, cable changes, flight control removals, anything to do with the bogs it just goes on and on.....if fact I would say that most of the British aircraft I have worked on are very trying to say the least.

Give me a Boeing any day!!

inky

8th Jan 2000, 23:11

I want to come at this the other way aircraft I most enjoy ...
my winner Boeing 757
long legs , two big engines , slim body,still very accomodating , 767 too wide in the body for my taste,, airbus far far too clever.. douglas anything too numb everywhere !!

multiplexer

17th Jan 2000, 01:59

DC10 #2 engine cold winter nite rain wind steps not high enough, patio covered in oil, just what the doctor ordered.!!!

greaseytech

17th Jan 2000, 17:56

Come on lads and lasses, the question has been posed about what aircraft we most like working on. So far no one has had a positive reply to this, so are there no 'good aeroplanes' out there, are they all old dogs?So why do we mend aeroplanes for a living? It can hardly be for money or status as techies have, apparently, neither.

I would agree about the 757 with the exception of freight bay landing beam angles. It is a nice, big aeroplane, but not so big that it becomes impossible to work. But beware when changing mainwheels, watch out for the spacer that sticks to the old wheel and can get forgotten! I also like changing JT8's fitted to 737's, but they are becoming a dying breed now. So what do all the techies out there in Ppruneland like working on?

H721

17th Jan 2000, 21:12

my vote to B777. simply an engineer's aircraft. so reliable that in one instance the aircraft had been flying with only 1 pack (the other pack being inop for some reasons) for months without trouble.

will have no complaint if given B777 on all nite shift duties.

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Not much of an engineer

gas path

17th Jan 2000, 22:29

I'll give my vote to the B777 as well...
A well thought a/c with a lot of engineering input from the chief Boeing mechanic and guys from the airlines.
Better still with the RR Trent :)
744 a good second.!

TwoDeadDogs

19th Jan 2000, 04:28

Hi,spannertruppen
KingAir for reliability,same for 737 and it's roomier;F50's good,mostly;767 good and big....PeeTee Sixes,CFMs,Lycos and Contis(most of the time)....Guinness,Carlsberg,Nutty brown...
cheers
TDD

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Drink,gurls,****,arse...

LME (GOD)

19th Jan 2000, 05:33

777 surely the most reliable, apart from the IFE...doh! but my favourite are the 737's perfect size for me (i'm vertically challenged), very reliable and clean (leave those dirty wheels and brakes to the hairyarses) http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/redface.gif)

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It flew in, it'll fly out