Favourite Military Banter/Phrases

[Dougie M]

We know where your Sympathy lies now.

[Tinribs]

Better get Navigator jokes going again

Young pilot enters bar in RAF Club Piccadilly, approaches senior looking chap at the bar
Sir Sir I have just heard this brilliant navigator joke and I'm repeating it to everyone I meet
Senior chap, I'll have you know young man I am a navigator
Don't worry sir, I'll tell it very slowly

[Boeing Jet]

We had plenty of banter on the 10 hour train journey from Norfolk to Leuchars once!!!

[L-H]

Anagram of navigator? Vagina rot..ta daaaah!

[ShyTorque]

It doesn’t take long to “Get it”. My daughter was a member of a UAS for just two years and she understands my banter far better than my missus of forty years plus does!

[JW411]

I think it was Henry Morgan. Halfway across the Pond in the middle of the night I got out of my seat to go for a walk (we are in a Belfast). Going past Henry I asked him in a jocular fashion "Are we lost then Henry". "No" said he. "Are we on track then Henry". "No" said he". "Well, if we are not on track and we are not lost, then where are we?". "Well, we are not on track but No.3 engine is!!".

[charliegolf]

Anagram of navigator? Vagina rot..ta daaaah!

There's no 'd' in navigator.:ok:

CG

[spitfirek5054]

There's no 'd' in navigator.:ok:

CG
You got it wrong,there is no F in navigator,:mad:

[ExAscoteer2]

Self-Loading Freight...

[toratoratora]

My kids (17 and 16) are delightfully non-PC (blame the father), and often use the sympathy phrase. However, I have to warn them to be very careful where and to whom they display their highly lavatorial style of humour, such are these times of permanently being ‘offended’.
Does anyone still use ‘running goat f...’ to describe a cock-up?


(I didn’t say ‘type of dog’!)

[NutLoose]

Self-Loading Freight...

They did have their uses, the Nav on the Ten was there to counter balance the weight of the Loadie down the back?

[ExAscoteer2]

They did have their uses, the Nav on the Ten was there to counter balance the weight of the Loadie down the back?

I used to fly with up to 5 of the buggers!

Q. What do you call a group of 2 Navs?

A. An Uncertainty.

Q. What do you call a group of 3 Navs?

A. A Quandary.

Q. What do you call a group of 4 (or more) Navs?

A. Lost.

[DODGYOLDFART]

You’re showing your age.
No just living up to my handle.

[Herod]

The difference between a navigator and a GPS? When you have come down somewhere inhospitable, and aren't likely to be found for days, well...you can't eat the GPS :)

[ShyTorque]

You got it wrong,there is no F in navigator,:mad:

These days there’s no f in crewman, either. Tbh, I do miss the banter, CG,

[Radley]

Here’s one then, how about ‘EMU’, always raised a titter or two.

[DODGYOLDFART]

What about the ASTRA cinema when they ran Tom & Gerry and the credits came up including Fred Q***by bringing forth a raucous chorus of "Good Old Fred".

[NutLoose]

What about the ASTRA cinema when they ran Tom & Gerry and the credits came up including Fred Q***by bringing forth a raucous chorus of "Good Old Fred".
and the mad rush to avoid the playing of God Save the Queen.

[BEagle]

...to avoid the playing of God Save the Queen.

In the mid '70s, the RAF Valley Astra was open to all comers, including the locals. I was there once and the usual short clip of HM was shown to accompany the National Anthem. A group of locals didn't stand up, whereupon the projector stopped, the lights came on and 'Jones the Movie' came out of his booth and yelled something in Welsh at them. Then he went back, the projector started up again - this time everyone stood up.

One of our number was Welsh; we asked him what Jones had said, "OI! You lot, stand up or f*** off!", he told us. They chose the first option!

[lsh]

My youngest daughter seems to have picked up most of the banter.

She has sung "O little town of Crossmaglen" at Christmas.
Her Shackleton Song needs more work, at the end she "....covered the Romans in oil"!

Seagull?!

lsh
:E

[NutLoose]

As long as she hasn’t played Shackleton the game... along with Spoons, Freckles, the 3 man lift and a myriad of others, I dare not mention in polite company.

[JW411]

I had it in my mind that 2 Navs together was known as solid state stereo.

[NutLoose]

In the mid '70s, the RAF Valley Astra was open to all comers, including the locals. I was there once and the usual short clip of HM was shown to accompany the National Anthem. A group of locals didn't stand up, whereupon the projector stopped, the lights came on and 'Jones the Movie' came out of his booth and yelled something in Welsh at them. Then he went back, the projector started up again - this time everyone stood up.

One of our number was Welsh; we asked him what Jones had said, "OI! You lot, stand up or f*** off!", he told us. They chose the first option!

if you didn’t stand at Bruggen you were out, no argument.

[charliegolf]

These days there’s no f in crewman, either. Tbh, I do miss the banter, CG,

Yeah, me too. It can get you in trouble in polite circles. In the mob, there were no polite circles!

CG

[stevef]

True banter from the early '70s.
Airframe SAC doing a C130 sheet metal repair (alongside a corporal) needs another Avdel skin pin to secure a cleat or something.
SAC: 'Have you got a gripper?'
Corporal: 'Yeah, you're working the weekend.'

[NutLoose]

Pilot doing the walk round of all walk rounds on a Puma coming out of ASF and taking hours on a freezing morning and is now peering up into the u/c sponson, when he is approached by the freezing ground crew enquiring if he intended to fly it or buy it.

[Crromwellman]

In the early 1970s at an RAF station in Germany where the based recce squadron's senior flight commander is a very young (sub-30 year old) Sqn Ldr who is obviously going places. He has just come from a ground tour and insists that everyone in the Squadron and the RIC (although it is not part of the Squadron) wear blue badges with their name engraved in white. This does not go down well with the newly arrived Army element who request where in Army dress regulations it mentions name badges. The discussion bats backwards and forwards for months with the Army holding out.
Matters come to a head one morning when the senior flight commander is walking to his aircraft (this is pre-HAS era so they are all lined up outside with attendant ground crew of all ranks) with his nav in tow. He espies one of the Army SNCOs on his way to work without a name badge. Unbeknown to the flight commander, this SNCO has done the All Arms Drill Course at Pirbright and can turn it on and off at will. The following exchange then followed:
Senior Flight Commander: "Ssgt X where is your name tag?"
Ssgt X braces up, marches across to senior flight commander, halts and salutes in a way that would have made his Guards instructors very proud..
Ssgt X: In finest Guards parade ground voice: :"With the deepest respect, in the Army, the senior officers KNOW their SNCOs, SIR" with a gap between SNCOs and SIR, that conveys a message.. This is followed by a pace to the rear, salute, right turn and march off.
Squadron Boss who has heard this exchange, leans out of his office window and says "There is no answer to that, (senior flight commanders name)!"

[Finningley Boy]

if you didn’t stand at Bruggen you were out, no argument.
Same in the Cinema at the US Army Barracks at Neubrucke, my first overseas posting, first trip to this particular Bijou, my good friend and mentor, Tony Dodd (Royal Signals), prompted me shortly before arrival that 'twas a sin comparable to burning the Stars and Bars not to stand up for the US National Anthem, I thought this a tad obsessive at the time and I wasn't alone among the Brits, RAF and Army, stationed in the area. Sure enough everyone, man, woman and child shot up to attention as the drums intro'd.

A scopie mate Keith Sampson once reached over to nick (for a laugh) a can of coke of the hardnosed Chief Tech sat in front, I couldn't straighten my Cheshire Cat smirk as, when the music stopped, he turned and looked aghast before near blaming the American sat a seat away from him!:)

FB

[Tinribs]

2 from 100
Boss walks into crew room where "discussion is ongoing"
Boss: Ian you are always arguing
Ian: No I'm F...ing not

Boss not popular after fatal crash
Senior flt cdr: I am unhappy that the squadron is not showing proper respect for the boss, when he comes in shortly I want everyone to stand up
Unhappy squadron member: What does he look like?

[PlasticCabDriver]

I used to fly with up to 5 of the buggers!

Q. What do you call a group of 2 Navs?

A. An Uncertainty.

Q. What do you call a group of 3 Navs?

A. A Quandary.

Q. What do you call a group of 4 (or more) Navs?

A. Lost.

along with the Ego of Pilots and the Whinge of Crewmen?

[Barksdale Boy]

Not to mention a giggle of co-pilots.

[AllTrimDoubt]

Some friends of mine were drinking in Daedalus mess a few years ago whilst going through JEFTS at Barkston Heath. They had got to know the bar lady well and were drinking with her when the red arrows display team walked in. They strutted their stuff, and beelined for the bar where there put a few hundred pounds for their own drinks. Well, my mates started to drink on their tab thanks to their good friend the bar lady. When it came time for the reds to go, one went up to the bar, wrote his telephone number on a bar chit and signed it "RED 8". The bar lady was less than impressed as were my friends. So they got a bar chit wrote "thanks for the free drinks all night" signed it "barkston 132" and handed it to a rather pi$$ed off red. Brilliant

That’ll be Cl**e then!

[Big Pistons Forever]

Exasperated French Canadian Leading Seaman when dealing with a particularly dim English Ordinary Seaman new recruit on my last ship.

“You think you know Fu*ck All . YOU KNOW FU*CK NOTHING !!!”

[rolling20]

Early 80s, bored with car to car transfers along the main runway, 8 UAS students strike out for the big city.
One shoves his naked back side out of the packed estate car window to a women filling her car at a petrol station. Minutes later,yours truly, sitting in the boot with 3 others picks up a car approaching at speed to our rear.
This information is relayed to the pilot in the right hand seat, with the report the car looks official.
Minutes later we are overtaken by another car, then it emits a wailing noise and blue lights, we pull over.
'Right, all of you out' We are surrounded by 10 of the constabulary's finest and made to stand facing the car.'Who shoved their arse at that poor women in the petrol station?'.
'Me sir', said the offender.
'Right ,who are you all?'
'We are uni students''You should all know better, we take a very dim view of this kind of behaviour. Right let's see some ID'
1250 produced.
'Whats this?'.
'Its our RAF identify card'
'You told me you were students'.
'We are, but we are also being taught to fly by the RAF''I see, so ( talking to the bottom offender) what will you do when you leave uni, become an RAF pilot?'

'No, a miner'Much laughing from us.
' Shut up!'' A miner, are you taking the effing p++s!'
'No, I am studying mining engineering'We thought it was about to get worse, but in the good cop, bad cop tradition, his colleague had used our mess recently on a civil defence course and smoothed things over.. After a talking to, we went back to base and made mischief there
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