Need a pilot to help.

[spaceman1000]

hello,

My wife want somebody to take care of the house, clean the dish, polish the floor, clean the restroom, take care of the garden,...

I need someone as a chauffeur, and clean my car.
we can provide you accomodation for 20 pounds a day.
this is for 6 months, and we charge you 4999pounds +taxe for the training.Meal is at your charge during your stay in my home . You will have the monday off.

after 6 months work, if I am satisfied with you. I will recommend you to an airline .Send me a PM if you are interested.

[itchy kitchin]

That sounds reasonable! where do i sign up?
...and i was just about to splash out on a type rating too! phew!

[VirginSkid]

Excellent where do I sign up too!!!

Also I pay upfront can you throw your WIFE IN the Deal AS WELL!!!???

VS

[Speedbird744]

Skyman68??
haha another scam

[spaceman1000]

Dear PPruners,

this is a REAL offer and I have already 25 applications in my box.
some of you could think it is a scam, it is not.
I would do my best to get you a job on a jet. I am in the aviation industry for more than 25 years and I can help you to make the step in the cockpit of your dream.

I provide you a training with full accomodation in my home and work for 6 months. this 6 months work is a guarantee in case there is not job for you at the end; I can still refer you to my neighbour who is looking for a gigolo for his wife.

As a gigolo, you will be paid well enough to buy yourself a type rating only after 8 years of "work". regrettably his wife have saging breast.Do you like saging breast?in this case send me a PM with the mention: "I love saging breast" and I will put your CV on the top of the pile.

Good luck to all of you.

Captain Spaceman
A340/B777

[Flying Farmer]

Spaceman I did hear a rumour there were many wannabes in chat, why not drop in for a while.
I'm sure you'll be welcomed with open arms :E

[redsnail]

You're not taking the mickey out of Atlantic Airlines (Coventry) "fugly" scheme?

[PPRuNeUser0172]

Space cadet1000

You my friend, are a jockey of the knob variety, now kindly Foxtrot Oscar.

;)

[WX Man]

Hmmm, 4999 plus tax. What tax is that? Blue tax?

Honestly if this was funnier I'd probably laugh!!!

Please, skyman, don't stop posting. Ignore all these stupid people... I REALLY enjoy reading your posts. It reminds me of something that a chief exec of an jet charter company told me recently:

"Quality of applicants is inversely proportional to the number of applicants".

Go figure....

[RVR800]

Spaceman1000 you're wasted as a pilot you could be a character on Little Britain - or a comedian!

saging :=

Keep posting!



:ok:

[spaceman1000]

thank you very much for your replies.
I have received a large amount of applications these last 3 days and I will need a pilot to help me to select the right candidat.

the minimum qualifications are:

- a valid ATPL
- not older than 35 years and 364 days and not younger than 36 years.
- holder of an EC or EEC passport AND US passport
- knowledge of writing and understanding all European languages
-100% to all ATPL exams with a first time pass
-Religion atheist (legitimate proof will be required before employment)
- bank statement with a minumum of 10'000 euro for your training
-1500 h total time, no less, no more
-50 hours in the last 6 months (no less, no more)
-willing to be relocated at your expenses
-1m793, and you must weight 72.43 KG (no less, no more)
-18/20 on left eye and 19/20 on right eye(no less, no more)
-smoke 75 and half cigarettes a day (no less, no more)
-drink 8.6 liters of guiness beer a day (no less, no more)
-drink 2 liters of whisky at 45 degree
-drink 1 liter of my french pastis
-wake up at 4 o'clock and 21 minutes and 23 seconds every morning (sunday included)
-eat breakfast in 12 minutes and no more than 3 sausages a day
-must have a firm handshake
-clean you ears every morning and evening
-must smile all the time
-must log on pprune 3 times a day (no less, no more)
- etc


If you think you have the right qualifications to be a recruiter, please send me a PM.;)


PS: you can continue the list if you wish. Here in the airlines, we need ideas to look busy.

[EGBKFLYER]

Quality! :)

Unfortunately I drink whiskey at 38 degrees, so that's me out. Will you be acknowledging my application or can I expect a call out of the blue if your standards change?

[dann1405]

Wasted as a pilot? Hmmmm.
Maybe if he actually was a pilot he wouldn't post these bitter rants, amusing as they are....