What I have to look forward to BEFORE I make it! (More light hearted humour...)

[kiwi chick]

Hi guys!

I really enjoyed the last thread "How you know you've made it", and it got me thinking...

Being a todder in this industry, only having just got my CPL, I though all you "old hats" out there might like to warn me of some of the things I have to look forward to before I "make it"!

ie consistently having my life endangered by a pimply-faced 16 yr old learning "Effects of Controls"

and that kind of thing...

Do share!

[apache]

Forget the pimply faced 16y.o trying to kill you, it is when the pimply faced 16y.o is the nephew of the owner and you have to take him for a spin in the C152 as a first lesson .... all things going well until he announces that he is feeling sick. Proceed to slow down, open the window, fly as smoothly as possible and THEN have him thhrow up all over the (inside) windscreen on short final - approaching the flair!

OR

Bad weather all week, the fortnightly flying hours looking very round (0), and, correspondingly, no pay ... bills coming in, no petrol in yer car, but you need to turn up for work to get the money. Weekend arrives... it is a BEAUTIFUL day and you have 5student booked to fly starting at 0930. All the aircraft are booked solid for the day .... the boss is happy! and then some STUPID GIT goes and has a prop strike on the first flight of the morning.. IN YOUR AIRCRAFT!!!!! .... u/s for the rest of the weekend.

THEN

You finally have enough hours to fly twins with the local charter company, now it is time to look forward to spending LONG LONG days away from home base. Passengers who don't know what time they want to leave and will "just rock up", or maybe even give you 1/2 hours notice.

Mind you... it is all character building, and you will look back in years to come and laugh/smile ruefully at your experience, whilst moaning bitterly about the current state of affairs and how the cadets have it easy etc etc etc .... but then think "I would not change a thing!" .... well not too many things anyway.
good luck with it and enjoy. I look forward to reading of other peoples experiences here

[VRB03KT CAVOK]

You can possibly look forward to several years of people asking:

"Do you want to be a commercial pilot one day?"

If you haven't stopped already, you'll soon avoid telling people what you do for a job...

[NotAnIssue]

Operators who say: "Ahhh she'll be right, being 20Kg's over doesn't matter, don't worry about balance you'll just have to push the nose down constantly during flight!"

"Don't MR the item until it goes for it's 100hrly (this is 5hrs after the last 100hrly), otherwise the plane will be grounded with that item on the MR"

"You've got a charter to here, weather's fine (can't see from here to buggery), just go, if you have to turn back, then turn back"

Do you want me to continue.......

NotAnIssue

[Chief Wiggam]

0200hrs, 35 degrees C, 95% humidity, you have just woken up to the sound of leather backs barking, indgenous folk yelling and the smell of burning plasic.

Walk 3km to the airport, wait till 11 o'clock for your 8 am pax.

Delicately load the pillows with the mangy flea, tick, scabies ridden blanket and 30 shopping bags.

Fly for 0.3hrs to destination then repeat.

Get back to your condemed community accomodation to find that someone has broken in, not to steal but to lay a sh1t on the floor next to your toilet. (Yes this did happen to someone)

Go to the only shop to spend your $18,000 per year wage on $5 twin toilet paper packs and $9 250g blocks of chocolate.

Life in the NT.:uhoh:

[The Bullwinkle]

$18,000 per year wage
I used to dream of that kind of wage.........

[birdkiller]

Going to town with the boss and his family, and the bosses wife decides that the pilot can sleep outside in the back of the toyota ute which is parked infront of their motel room. Then it rains:( ...and they still didn't invite me in!

[newbe200]

Fly half way around Australia to be told "What job??"

and yes VRB03KT, constantly asked 'do you want to get your commercial pilots licence one day', 'when are you going to fly jumbos' ( like we have a bloody choice to do so )

and that 3 kg piece of freight that weighs 30 kg and then have to argue with the passenger about it.

but, watching the sunrise at fl290 makes it all worth it:ok: :ok:

cheers

nb20

[HEALY]

From the instructing days,

Wake up at 6 am on a Sunday morning for an 7:30 am lesson with a guy who has no other time 'period' all week to see you. (Thats right he is the client). Get to work 30 mins before and make a coffee. Get back in the car and drive to the shop to get milk which hasn't turned yellow.

Write up brief on board and have all you notes out. Use one colour only for the board because someone has taken all yours.(Mental note, steal someones elses pens this arvo when no one is around).

8am open hanger and review students file for lesson. 8.30am have another coffee due to lack of student in the vicinity. 9am have a look at Pprune (naturally) and chack emails. Have biscuit from the charter catering cupboard, and another, and another.(remember you cant afford breakfast bars)

Look at days schedule and see no more flights for the day and everyone else is off, so nobody to whinge too. Get a phone call at midday from student asking what time his flight was. Says he can make it about 5pm after he has done some chores.

Sit by the phone and take Noise complaints and Enquires from 10 year old nuffies on all the ins and outs of a 150 Commercial Package.

5 30pm student rocks up and explains how the lesson will go and how much Flight sim has helped since the last debacle. Brief student for 45 mins (this allows 30 mins of mobile phone calls he will make during the said brief)

Do the flight involving Intro to Radio calls to tower during MBZ hours because they have already gone home. Have the student get sick and lightheaded because of those excessive rate 1 turns. ("The G's are huge mate")

Debrief on lesson and recommend earlier flight when its smoother and cooler. Books in at 7:30am next Sunday without fail.

Repeat above exercise a few times, but hey its not all bad. You still get to fly.

[redsnail]

That oh so unique parfum of our indigenous passengers. :yuk:

The joy of leaving a very annoying white passenger at the community because he thought he was too important to get to the airfield on time. (it wasn't his charter). He never did it again. :E

[Sunfish]

After reading this thread, I promise never to be late for a lesson ever again.....

[Mr. Hat]

I think you generally should look forward to aircraft that are 30 years old having things break because they are just old and farcked and being blamed one hundred percent for the breakage. It wouldn't be because its actually old and brittle now would it?

A favourite of mine was to spend a whole day standing in a hangar with lames working on aircraft- 40 C with a neat pair of pants and shirt on and a cv and log book in one hand waiting to see the chief pilot to only get 3 minutes with him and then he says no we are not looking at the moment. He walked past me 15 times oevr a 9 hour period. The best part is that you are trying to sort of look semi interested and come up with zaney questions about engines to engineers who just want you to fark off out of the way. Its priceless you really feel that your hard work and investment is really paying off.

God I could go on and on.

Now you've got me started.

[VRB03KT CAVOK]

Your student wants to make a booking for two weeks on Sunday.

You tell them "I'm free all day and there are aircraft available most of the day".

They reply "How about 7.30am?"

The boss is right behind you and you have no reason to say no. It will be the night after your best mate's birthday...

Two weeks later you leave the Birthday party just as things are warming up. You arrive at the airport at 7.30am, have a coffee while waiting for the student. 8am passes by and you find their phone number in the records...

"Oh" they say, "I phoned up and cancelled that flight on Tuesday"

[Dave Incognito]

Waking up to the alarm sounding at 0530and thinking how lucky it is that you got to sleep in... :ugh:

[kram]

I prefer to live in denial that GA can't be this bad.

Please, someone tell me there is more good than bad.

These posts depress me. I've got to stop reading pprune.

[locusthunter]

CAVOK- 7:30am on a Sunday morning? Luxury, luxury...
I have had students that love the 6am Sunday morning time slot and the boss/secretary have no problem at all with that....
(and on a Sat/Sun I only hit 6am from one side...)

:{

[Jamair]

I don't 'do students' so I won't comment on that track of GA; but.....

Out of bed at 0500, 3 x S (ask someone what the 'S's are), cycle 5 km to airport, preflight (30 yr old) aeroplane, note zero PUS's or placarded instruments (yes there are some owners who will spend the required $$ on maintenance), sip thermos coffee while brushing frost off windscreen and watch the pink-sunrise-hued jets tracking overhead at FL30+, leaving contrails from horizon to horizon while it's still dark and -5 degrees on the ground.

Load up on-time pax and within-weight baggage, take-off into the unbelieveably cerise blue sky, climbing at 1500f/m, no turbulence. Level out at ToC, watch GPS pick up extra 30kt GS from favourable wind, look at clocks and dials all perfectly behaved and listen to smooth synchronised drone of nice, new engines.

Look down at the world just stirring, check out the spectacular sunrise. At destination, unload and relax in aircon pilot lounge, catch a nice meal at the local eatery, before loading return crew and watching all the colours again in reverse as the sun slips below the horizon behind you & you jag another favourable wind home.

Day off, followed by on-call and a night job, taking off at MTOW and at max IFR range for reserves / alts due the p!ssing down rain and 40kt headwinds, followed by a 3 hour churn through the muck and dark and descent to a remote airstrip with a poxy NDB and one GPS NPA approach direction, just getting the lights at the NPA mins and having to do the VCA to land into the howling, blustery wind that is just far enough off beam to make it a poxy x-wind as well. Sitting in the aircraft chewing on a stale peanut paste sanger and a bottle of water, waiting for a couple of hours for the pax to show cause they decided to have dinner before they left. Taking off again into the even worse slag, bucking and thumping through the crud for a couple more hours while the pax taketurns chundering and swearing about how 'the last guy gave them a much smoother ride and why cant you do the same', sweat-slicked control yoke squirming in your grasp as you pray you'll catch the lights off the DGA because the alternate has just been SPECI-ed out of the equation and finally get the thing back on the deck, followed by cleaning out the spew bags and coke cans, refuelling for the next guys early morning departure and riding home in the freezing rain in time to get the kids out of bed.

It has its ups and downs, but I wouldn't be anywhere else.

:ok:

[Ibex]

Is GA really as bad as that?

It’s all that and worse.

You wake up at 430 for the 7th day in a row, your head sore, and mouth dry. While standing hunched over, eyes half closed in the shower trying to wake up you find yourself trying to sip the warm shower water in a vein attempt to provide some hydration to your cells which had the water sucked out of them the night before by 30 cans of beer.

Depending on the season there’s either going to be a freezing pre dawn desert chill, or an uncomfortably hot and humid wind to meet you at the airport. Staring at the forecasts between gulps of sweet instant coffee flavoured with powdered milk you try hard to get your brain working out the alternate requirements. Giving up in frustration it seems nowhere has more than a couple of lines to the TAF so it should be all OK.

Out at the aircraft as the beautiful sun rises for another glorious outback day, you find yourself cursing at the dam horrible light that now invades your red bloodshot eyes. The MR is as clean and crisp as it was the last time you flew the heap of ****, so you try and think back to what the verbal MR had on it- that’s what your mates were telling you were wrong with it down the pub last night.

The passengers rock up late, you greet them in the office with your dark sunnies on to cover your red slits of eyes that have by now retreated deep into your skull. The half a packet of PK you started chewing to hide any residual fumes has been masticated into a white dry slop that sticks to the roof of your mouth. As you’re about to board one of the passengers asks if we could go to Outofthefrikkenwayinthemiddleofnowherehole on the way to Evenabigastinkahottahole to pick up a person. You run back into the office and print the lat and long off FP2000 and race back into the aircraft.

After 10 attempts at closing the door, you get two passengers to use all their weight to hold it shut while you kick the handle closed. You remember being told how the door was f@cked the night before at the pub. Taxiing out you enter the lat and long for Outofthefrikkenwayinthemiddleofnowherehole into the trusty garmin and die when you see 440nm staring back.

After take off you select the gear up and the motor keeps winding, pulling the CB you remember that was another thing that was f@cked but was going to be fixed real soon.

After leveling off you flick on the trusty nav o matic and instantly turn it off again as you snap roll to the left.

Two and a half agonizing hours of “Australia All Over with Macca” tuned into the ADF later, you fly a rough circuit and sh$t yourself once again when the gear doesn’t come down- until your remember to reset the CB.

On the ground your passengers take off without a thought of you. Wandering into the community by picking a path through rotting meat, dirty nappies and dog sh$t while breathing through the mouth to avoid the putrid rotting stench and avoiding the mangy camp dogs fighting and rooting in front of you every step of the way, try and find suitable accommodation. Most places this means the nurse’s house. If lucky it might mean a couch and imparja for 10 hours while you wait. If not, it might mean the back seat of the stinking hot plane, your sleep interrupted every now and then by kids shouting “pylet! pylet!”

As the sun is about to set your passengers turn up, a once up and down the strip to clear the camels you blast off for home.

That’s what you have to look forward to before you make it!


:yuk: :yuk:

[VRB03KT CAVOK]

And then there are the good times:

- The face on your student after their first solo.

- Cruising home, high altitude, 40kt tail wind, fantastic view, getting paid.

- The 'Nod of Recognition / Sympathy' from a regional pilot when you shut down next to them. He's probably just thinking "That thing's still waiting for the respray they talked about 10 years ago"

- VFR on top and thinking to yourself that this is exactly what it looks like at Flight Levels.

- Your passengers turn up; they are all good looking backpackers.

- Flying low level or putting in a few steep turns just because you can...

- Having less stripes than a coach driver and being mistaken for a security guard / Taxi driver...

[newbe200]

and dont forget the 18 hf filght plan amendments..

nothing worse than being told 'we'll be back at 5pm, so your duty will be right', so you wait all day in the terminal, hoping the cafe will open (which it doesn't, but you can see the cokes in the fridge, so you try to work out if you can break in and leave your dollar on the bench ), only to find the pax went to dinner and booze up, turn up at 730pm and then wonder why you cannot depart. you try and keep it secret but the chief pilot says' why dont you just wait there until you have been there for ten hours? then you can sign on again. Yippee, no food, ****hole for ten hours!!!!!

but then you get airborne, and all of that is forgotten

[Bill Smith]

I thought I had made it !

White Rat on the tail but not as many seats or the RoC I would like.

Came home one afternoon after shooting 3 GPs/NPA's diverting going back getting in on the fourth one.

When walking into my lift where I live, I was asked by a lovely New Australian left behind by some failed former state of the USSR.

Vot are you da lift driver !

[Metro man]

1. Living in a place that you have to describe where it is.
2. Earning a salary that a cleaner would turn his nose up at.
3. Discovering that things like renewals ,uniforms ,allowances etc don't get paid even though the company is a responent to the award.
4. What's the award say? Ha ha really !
5. Don't write that up/ write it up in such a way that the aircraft can still be flown.
6. Air vent on your face the whole way due smell of passengers.
7. You white c**t !
8. Accommodation that housing commission tenants would refuse to live in.
9. Where is the superannuation they were supposed to pay me.
10.What did that flying school owner say about time to the airlines again ?

[Boney]

Living in the aircraft due to your 17K a year. Finding it hard to sleep at night, trying to ignore the mozzies and fuel smell as the flying ants swim in your sweat just so you can get half a nights sleep cause you have a busy day coming up. It is night and the temp is 30, humidity 90%.

When the boss finds out you are sleeping in his a/c, threatening to charge you rent until you explain he is getting a security guard for his ALL his fleet for no charge - there is another driver living in the other machine.

Was living in one of those portable sheds once, half asleep when I felt something on my face, at first thinking it may have been one of the cute pax from that day peddling my ears. Soon realised it was a a bird eating spider the size of my hand crawling down my face. Only had a tee shirt on (for easy access to crown jewels?). Jumped up like a mad man, wacked this thing and it goes down my shirt. It is so dark, you can not see your hand in front of you and this mongrel is keen to get out from the shirt as well, only inches above my mongrel. Finally get him out, scramble for matches to light my candle - never saw him/her again.

Charactor building or soul destroying - probably depends on your attitude and more importantly, if the selling of your soul actually ends up leading to a better life a couple of years down the track.

For me, the jury is still out!

[Ibex]

And then there are the good times:

- The face on your student after their first solo.

- Cruising home, high altitude, 40kt tail wind, fantastic view, getting paid.

- The 'Nod of Recognition / Sympathy' from a regional pilot when you shut down next to them. He's probably just thinking "That thing's still waiting for the respray they talked about 10 years ago"

:yuk: :yuk: :yuk:

Oh please, this is suppose to be light hearted humour looking at all the bad things to go through.

Start a new thread titled "I'm still new and haven't realised how crappy this job is yet because I still get a wet eye watching the sun come up above the clouds as I take long strokes of my pole"

:ok:

[kiwi chick]

Haha, Ibex!

If I HAD a "pole" I'm sure I would be stroking it after half the things I've read!

They sound character building to say the least, and to be honest, I can hardly bloody wait!!!

I think I have the first qualification/pre-requisite underway... a dry sense of humour...

(and I have the ability to live on Two-Minute-Noodles for an indeterminate time which it sounds like I'll need as well)

Thanks for all your postings, keep em coming!

Kiwi Chick

[Boney]

Kiwi Chick, I can assure you it aint that much fun being treated like a dog by some, but definately not all employers.

If your first job (normally the case) is working for a low life, the glamour of this so called profession will wear off in about a month. Unfortunately, until you get, say 1,000TT and 250 multi, you are not worth a bucket of cold pi$$ to anyone, and you will be treated accordinately.

It will break your heart seeing your friends who have invested a small percentage of what you have in time and money moving ahead in their careers while you struggle.

However, it may be worthwhile 10 years down the track. Maybe, maybe not.

Hopefully, if you do actually end up with a decent career, your friends will not forget back when they were buying real estate, going on holidays and building on their future, you were living a life that no human should have to put up with. That is the only reason I envy cadets - NO ONE should ever have to stoop so low just to get some hours the log book. They will never trully know - lucky buggars.

If I had a dollar every time those who care about me told me to give it away and get a real job, I would be driving a Ferrari?

[kiwi chick]

Hey Boney...

All joking aside, I live with three Flying Instructors, who are at varying levels of "being treated like a dog" by their employers.

My partner is one of them and I have a fairly intimate idea of how bad it is JUST at the beginning, let alone what is still to come.

But it's all about flying, and would I do anything else?

No. :ok:

[vh-oja]

Watching a 110kg ringer (who the previous night downed a bottle of rum and knocked out 2 other guys at the bar) squeal like a little girl as you throw the 182 around desperately trying to turn back a mad ass cow that has her own agenda. Whats unusual about 60 degrees of bank?:E

Informing the Jillaroo that the little red light on the dash (high voltage) is actually a button to eject the wings, when she says you're lying casually go to press it, do you think i could get my hand anywhere near that light?

Explaining to the manager why he can't shoot out of the plane, and why the fenced off airstrip can't be used as a holding paddock.

Carrying 3 tubs of stinking horse meat to be dropped out one piece at a time by another ringer spending more time vomiting down the chute than putting the baits out.


Gotta love it!

[the wizard of auz]

Bwahahahaha, OJA, thats why I decided to stay in GA.
sounds like what I do all day most days.
If the money was better, I would probably retire doing just that.
(PS. I am rather lucky in that I used to be the 110kg ringer......... and now the only differance is I fly as well as drink rum and carry on) :} ;)

[Mr. Hat]

Look forward to 2000klm on the stuart hiway being a breeze.

Another favourite is the living out of your car because you can no longer afford a backpackers. You are then faced with the challenge of presenting yourself neatly for the standard rejection down at the airport. This involves having a shave at a service station in town somewhere and then changeing into slacks and shirt.

Or how about the boss that asks you if you had headwinds both ways when you took 5.4 instead of 5.3 and he's chargeing 7.2. A personal favourite.

[the wizard of auz]

Found the best way to deal with them type blokes is to tell em to **** off, give em a wop on the aircleaner and move to the next servo.
usually they will knock hell outta ya in a referance, and the rest of the aviatin community will think ya a bonza bloke and hire ya, coz ya got standards mate. :ok: ;)

[locusthunter]

A few more for your list kiwi chick...

1. having a beaten up early 80s sigma (or the equivalent) held together with wire and gaffa tape

2. driving around a car registed in another state for at least 2 years because you don't know how long the job will last and you can't afford to reregister it.

3. selling your guitar and be left only with a crappy nylon string acoustic, so that you can afford to eat plain pasta between jobs (at least you can still have the soul to sing the GA blues, man!)

4. having all your mail redirected by your parents (or the eqivalent) for years because you don't have a permanent address (or can't stand the thought of calling your current place permanent)

5. Thinking your uni days of no money and lots of drinking were luxury compared to GA

6. Inventing a 'job' such as 'cleaner' so you don't have to talk aviation to wannabes, interested old codgers or know-it-all businessmen

7. Meeting 'characters' at aero clubs that you would never have dreamed existed if you had taken an office job in the city (I swear the first time you meet 'em you'll think that they are trying to take the mickey out of the stereotypical bushy!)

8. Trying to get money for months on end, out of operators who don't pay their staff.

9A. if you're a girl: ditching your current boyfriend so you can utilise your assets to help get a job and twin time....until you fall for some stupid pimpled-faced flying instructor at the local aeroclub and ruin both of your careers.

9B. If you're a bloke: Unwittingly lowering your standards to an all time low and thinking that it would be just easier to have a wife... until you get back to civilisation and realise what you've been missing!!:{

[Mr. Hat]

oh that one about the number plates is a classic.

vic licence, west aus plates living in the territory.....yeah right explain that to the cops.

Even beter try getting an asic card. Do you know how many places I've lived in the last 5 years. How do you describe a donga or caravan that has no address.

Try doing an id check with the Australian Tax office over the phone. They start asking stuff like your mailing address. The number of P.o. boxes I've had.....

It just goes on and on.

[locusthunter]

Vic licence, NSW plates, living in QLD, driving in NT with a SA trailer...

Oh...and repeatedly looking at your watch because a passenger is late and you're going to miss some day time TV show that you're addicted to!

:ugh:

[gatfield]

Would that be The Bold and the Beautiful or Oprah, locushunter?

[kiwi chick]

Hahaha!

I've ALREADY fallen for the Flying Instructor whilst "using my assests", tho he's not pimply-faced and I didn't get a job or twin time out of it...?

Where did I go wrong...?!!!! LMAO

Kiwi Chick :E

[locusthunter]

Sounds like Kiwi Chick has her own version of the bold and the beautiful...it doesn't take 'em long does it?

Reminds me of an old Confucius aviation saying...
Man who walk through turnstyle sideway is going to Bangkok.

...no, no...hang on...

Never trust a flying instructor with a female student under 50!:E

[curfew2]

Look forward to having so much 'time inbetween drinks', that even the wooly mammoth working in the CDEP office starts to look attractive.

[papi on]

Good to see me old mate Confucius get a mention.

I have spent my life trying to test the veracity of his phrophesy "Woman who stand naked on edge of cliff usually get knocked off", but alas, no success so far!

[Atlas Shrugged]

Which cliff?? ;)

[chief wiggum]

ahhhhh confucius!!!!!

Probably the most apt one for aviation ???

"Man without girlfriend come in handy!"

[janesays]

heh heh....come in handy heh heh...You can look forward to dropping over the edges of 600foot ravines at 180kts pulling up for the next one and then climbing/winging over for the hell of it, sun starting to set, cliff faces turning red, tape player cranking, all quite safely as there are no power lines/ roads/people withing 300km. :D Thats once a month, the other 29 days you can look forward to pulling a 16hour split duty and arriving home in the dark only to argue with the boss as to why you cant do another 5am departure.:uhoh:

[kiwi chick]

LMAO Locust!

Not quite Bold & Beautiful...

Give me a bit of time to introduce an ex-wife with possession issues, a gay co-worker Flying Instructor with the hots for my man, and a 85 yr-old masogonistic ex-Air Force pilot living at the airfield in a caravan stalking me.

Sound more in line with "Life in GA"? Or for those into reality TV programmes... "When GA goes Bad".

Still, beats working in a Bank :E

Kiwi Chick