PH-UKU
3rd Feb 2004, 01:04
<taken from an unknown internet source>
THE DIARY OF AN ATCO LIVING IN CANADA
" FIRST WINTER "
DEC 20th
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen for years the
wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft
flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so
beautiful and peaceful.
DEC 24th
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the
eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered with a beautiful
white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and loved it. I did both our
driveway and the pavement.
Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway
with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and
shovelled it away again.
The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and
had a snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back
and joined in their fun.
DEC 26th
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped around minus 8
degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow.
I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick
again. Much of the snow is now a brownish-grey.
JAN 1st
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the
temperature dropped again.
Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on me arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but
nothing was broken.
JAN 5th
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work. She slid into a wall
and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had another 8 inches of white ****e
last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush.
That bastard snowplough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel?!
JAN 9th
More ***ing snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged.
Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles
and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly torched the ***ing house.
I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands.
Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes.
Car hit a ***ing deer on the way to casualty and was written off.
JAN 13th
***ing bastard white ****e just keeps on coming down.
Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little ****s next
door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that carrot so far up the
little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon hours to find it.
If I ever catch the arse hole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chest and
rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the bastard hides around the corner and waits
for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like
Michael "***ing" Schumacher and buries the ***ing driveway again.
JAN 17th
16 more sodding inches of ***ing snow and ***ing ice and ***ing sleet and god knows
what other white ****e fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the
snowplough driver with an ice-pick.
Can' t move my ***ing toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks.
Minus 20 and more ***ing snow forecast.
*** THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO NEWBRIDGE
THE DIARY OF AN ATCO LIVING IN CANADA
" FIRST WINTER "
DEC 20th
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen for years the
wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft
flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so
beautiful and peaceful.
DEC 24th
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the
eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered with a beautiful
white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and loved it. I did both our
driveway and the pavement.
Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway
with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and
shovelled it away again.
The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and
had a snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back
and joined in their fun.
DEC 26th
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped around minus 8
degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow.
I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick
again. Much of the snow is now a brownish-grey.
JAN 1st
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the
temperature dropped again.
Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on me arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but
nothing was broken.
JAN 5th
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work. She slid into a wall
and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had another 8 inches of white ****e
last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush.
That bastard snowplough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel?!
JAN 9th
More ***ing snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged.
Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles
and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly torched the ***ing house.
I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands.
Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes.
Car hit a ***ing deer on the way to casualty and was written off.
JAN 13th
***ing bastard white ****e just keeps on coming down.
Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little ****s next
door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that carrot so far up the
little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon hours to find it.
If I ever catch the arse hole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chest and
rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the bastard hides around the corner and waits
for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like
Michael "***ing" Schumacher and buries the ***ing driveway again.
JAN 17th
16 more sodding inches of ***ing snow and ***ing ice and ***ing sleet and god knows
what other white ****e fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the
snowplough driver with an ice-pick.
Can' t move my ***ing toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks.
Minus 20 and more ***ing snow forecast.
*** THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO NEWBRIDGE