Is this crazy??!!

[round&round]

Great I thought as I tore open an unexpected pay statement, some extra dosh I wasn't expecting. Alas no.......a few months ago I filled in an ethnic monitoring questionaire and expected nothing back. Imagine then my utter pleasure and delight then, when my super wealthy and fantastically well resourced employer wrote to me to tell me I'm "British and White". Really clever to disguise it as a pay statement too.

I for one certainly think that's worth a second class stamp. I really hope all the other airmen, soldiers, sailors and civil servants get one too cause that's a real good use of hard earned taxes. I mean it's not as if we're cutting every major procurment project or giving everyone a long christmas break cause there's no money for fuel. If that was the case I'd be pretty angry...............Dohhhh!!!!

Are there any more total-waste-of-money-stories out there to brighten up my long winter evenings???

[Cardinal Puff]

We's got things like dat in Sefrica too. We calls dem mirrors...

[Background Noise]

If we are really an equal opportunities employer then ethnic background is irrelevant - so why do they need to know.

[ZH875]

If you filled the ethnic form in and described yourself as "White - English" it was returned as 'No such ethnic group'.

I am NOT British, I am ENGLISH. But not according to the MoD.

BN, I fully agree with what you say.

[tu chan go]

Tha's strange ZH. I put Scottish and it has come back with "White - Scottish!" Perhaps the MOD count us as an ethnic minority and not the English!

[Snakecharmer]

Mine even better - filled in questionnaire ages ago as 'white - english'...

Pay statement-like envelope arrives and... no extra money this month - but apparently I'm Caribbean!

Now I know how the percentages are increasing - they're making it up!

Then I received my Equal Opportunities trg booklet. Then I received my questionnaire on whether or not I've witnessed discrimination. Working in a joint environment, my only correspondence with the RAF is their transmission of all this nonsense... oh, and the genuine pay statements, of course!

[MilOps]

ZH

That's strange too. I put 'White-English' too and am registered accordingly. I have the paper to prove it.

This whole ethnic monitering game is rot. I wholeheartedly concur with BNs thoughts on this.

[moggie]

As usual, you are not allowed to be English.

There is never a box for "English" on a form - although Scots, Irish and Welsh usually get them. This nutty ethnic survey bears this out.

We don't have our own national anthem - we share the British one.

We don't get to celebrate St George's day - that is considered racist or triumphalist (but St Paddy's, David's and Andy's are OK).

If you ever describe yourself as English you are accused of being a racist/bigot.

Rugby - London Irish/Welsh/Scottish OK - but you try setting up "London English" and see what happens.

England football fan with a few beers inside him = hooligan. Scottish Footbal fan with same amount of beer = high spirited Celt.

Sorry if this sounds like a whinge/rant - but it pisses me off! I am English and bloody proud of it, just as Scots, Irish and Welsh people are of their nationality.

Can we have our parliament back, now that you each have one of your own? Thanks.

[Matelot B'stard]

Moggie:

Agree with most of your points.. I'm a Jock,

One small detail..

With reference to beer filled football fans, you missed the minor technicality that us Jocks refrain from going around turning quiet foreign villages into war zones, unlike our southern counterparts...

Oh and if you really want us to, we'll return those goalposts that we nicked in '77, that was a bit childish, I admit. The turf we nicked really did wonders for my lawn though :p

[Descend to What Height?!?]

Well I tried to put Jedi Knight, just as I did on the last census.
It came back as White British.

May the Farce be with ........ :ok:

[callsign Metman]

Descend to....

Jedi Knight???? Come off it...you are more like a space cadet or space cowboy!!

Is there an ethnic group for white geordies?

CM

:O

[Mr C Hinecap]

Metman

The Scots don't want us.
The English don't want us.
Geordie & proud.

Lest face it - many of the shell-suit wearing charvers in the West End of Newcastle would not be able to tick the correct box!

Cushty!

www.newcastlestuff.com - funny for Geordies - baffling for anyone else!

[FEBA]

Snake Charmer
Presumably, now that the Politicos Correctos have declared that your are caribbean, you will be entitled to a daily rum ration ?
FEBA

[soddim]

Well, the Scottish are Scottish 'cause they've got their own parliament - our English one is full of Scots, N Irish and Welsh so that must make us British - no?

The good news is that makes Blair British not English.

[Snakecharmer]

FBA - have tried ordering 'gin and tonic old boy' in a fake Bob Marley accent with no joy, so perhaps you're right!

[Echo 5]

Mr C,

Geordie is ok by me. On the ladder of life several rungs above an Englishman and just one below a Scot. Welcome in my home anytime.

Moggie,

No good whingeing here cos the English don't have their own anthem. Adopt one - as did the Scots,Irish and Welsh.
Just one thing. Wouldn't be singing about some Chariot cos the French are going to rip the wheels off it next weekend (hee hee).

Soddim,

Bliar may have been educated in Edinburgh but he is well and truly yours. English I think !!

[rudolf]

Well I consider myself to be White Lancastrian, is there a box for that?

[Scud-U-Like]

I agree with moggie. Whilst I have no gripe with the Scots, I get a little pi$$ed off with the little-Scotlander mentality and its financial consequences for those of us who don't live in Scotland.

Scotland gets its own separate BBC programming, continuity announcers etc. "Newsnight", an excellent news programme, that could never be accused of being England-centric, gets cut in half by some "Newsnight Scotland" parochial guff. All this, at extra expense to the 90% of TV licence payers who don't live in Scotland.

The cost of the new Scottish Parliament building is nudging the £400million mark, when the estimate was £40million. The average population of an English parliamentary constituency is 70,000, whilst in Scotland it's 55,000. Over-representation perhaps?

The population north of the Border has 33% more Government cash, per capita, spent on it, than do the English.

I could go on.

We should all be proud of our roots, but not to the point of excess. Please Scotland, give it a rest and stop wasting our money pumping up your ego.

[Pontius Navigator]

Goodness gracious me.

My mother was born in India and my father in Birkenhead.

What am I?

Oh, I forgot, my Grandfather was born in Eire.

What am I?

At the time my Grandfather was born Eire was Ireland but is was part of the United Kingdom.

What am I?

Bloody certain that the whole thing is a bag of w*nk

[Gainesy]

Bloody certain that the whole thing is a bag of w*nk

Tut, Tut, Pontius. Not very PC at all... but extremely accurate.:)

[moggie]

OK - I was a bit over the mark with the footie fans!

We'll have "Land of Hope and Glory" - written for us by anice German chap so the Royals should feel at home with it!

[Avoiding Action]

Moggie,

Sorry to bite, and be a pedant at the same time.

The original London Irish / Welsh / Scottish RFCs were amateur expat clubs,

so....

to really develop that well placed sense of injustice, you'd need to go north or west and find yourself banned from setting up an 'Edinburgh English' or 'Cardiff English' rugby club...:E

Getting back in my box right now;)

[moggie]

Avoiding Action - biting and pedantry are permitted - if they were not I would have nothing to post!

[denachtenmai]

Echo 5
I don't normally write on this forum, but I would imagine that the words, sick as a, and, parrot with an ingrowing beak, pertain to you after watching the chariot rumble all over the frogs this morning.
Non regards, Den.:ok:

[X-QUORK]

Echo 5

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!

French.....Chariot wheels.......good one mate !!!!

Oh how we laughed all the way to the final....:ok:

Regards

X-Q
A smiling Englishman

[I_stood_in_the_door]

so, william wallace was australian!

isitd

:8

[3xGreens]

Echo 5..............

Tut,Tut. Shame on you for upsetting our two English neighbours.
As a fellow Scot I recognise the humorous intent of your post to moggie and obviously he has received it in good spirit.
And then we have the response from the two stereotype English rugby fans denachtenmai and X-Quork.The type that the whole world loves to hate.The type that gives all Englishmen a bad name.The type with too much inbred arrogance.
I just hope you two are still gloating next Saturday.
E5.....You should know better than to ever rely on the French for anything !!

I_stood_in_the_door.

Sorry - I don't get the Willie Wallace bit. Too subtle for me perhaps.

[denachtenmai]

3xGreens
You must get a nice warm feeling,trying to be so morally superior, is it cos i is English?. We won, what Echo5 said (whether tongue in cheek or not) was therefore incorrect, which made him a target, this is a normal forces reaction. How you can get from there to my and X-Quork's "arrogance" is beyond me, can I have a personality check at your surgery? Do you make house calls?
Regards Den
P.S. nice own goal remarking on the French as you did:O

[moggie]

3 greens - William Wallace was the character that the film "Braveheart" was based upon.

Think about the actor who played the lead role and you will get the intent of the post by ISITD.

[3xGreens]

moggie,

Thanks for that. As I said, too subtle for me.

[FEBA]

Talking of things Rugby Union, what will Mike Catt put on his ethnicity monitoring form.
Mind you, and this one is for Echo 5, it would make interesting reading if the Scotland team had to fill one in :confused:

FEBA

[Echo 5]

FEBA,

I wouldn't even think of arguing about this one. Mind you I think we are down to about three Southern Hemisphere players now and Scotland are still as close to crap as you can get. Even the new guy Danielli - Scots/Italian - English accent !! And that isn't a criticism before the easily affronted among you start throwing your toys around. I'm afraid all these Scottish grannies have a lot to answer for.

Regards,

E5

[I_stood_in_the_door]

its true, mad max IS william wallace!

:}

isitd

[3xGreens]

Murrayfield 2nd April 2000 - Scotland 19 Engerland 13
Twickers 6th March 2004 - Engerland 13 Ireland 19

Is this the start of the long slippery slope downwards ?

Just goes to show that without Wilkinson yer Engerland is just pretty average.:p

[ZH875]

Murrayfield 2nd April 2000 - Scotland 19 Engerland 13
Twickers 6th March 2004 - Engerland 13 Ireland 19

Is this the start of the long slippery slope downwards ?
If this is a slope!!:confused: then the next defeat should be in 2008.

May the union people see the errors of their ways and start practicing the better game of Rugby League Football.:p

[MightyGem]

Can't remember John boy taking part in many lineouts. :(

[Ray Dahvectac]

Murrayfield 2nd April 2000 - Scotland 19 Engerland 13

Remind me....was that Scotland's most recent Six Nations victory?

Slope?? Your ILS approaches must last a helluva time 3xG !!

[3xGreens]

Ray,

Probably not. As I recall Scotland were middle of the table last year. They probably beat Italy !!:O

Just checked. They did beat Italy 33-25 and Wales 30-22.
Mind you that was when they had a few old sweats playing. No excuses though - that was a disaster in Rome yesterday.

[Ray Dahvectac]

Disaster? Yes, possibly.

But it IS only a game, and England's defeat by Ireland was thoroughly deserved and had to come sometime. Hopefully now that they have been knocked down, they can come up fighting and start to build themselves up again.

[CatpainCaveman]

I too have been stung by the equal opportunities fiasco. Came back from somewhere very hot and not at all friendly to have a letter from Harry Staish asking why I hadn't returned my EO paperwork.

Sent it to my boss with a post it note on the front - "I hate everybody, equally. Does that make me EO qualified?" Didn't hear anymore about it after that.

What a total bunch of arse! I'm glad that the adminers have got nothing else better to do with their time than waste ours with this tosh.

[3xGreens]

Probably a bit late now but:

"Is this the start of the long slippery slope downwards ?

Just goes to show that without Wilkinson yer Engerland is just pretty average."

Could I perhaps have been right ?:)

[matkat]

Soddim,unfortunately for us Jocks Tony is in fact Scottish,born in Glasgow,and believe me that was painfull to write.
Matkat

[Navaleye]

I seem to remember that when the last census form came round in London. It was legal to describe yourself and Scottish, Irish or Welsh, but you risked prosecution if you described your nationality as English.

Beats the hell out of me.

[flyboy007]

English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish.... at the end of the day, you're all poms!