Lots of replies so far, and I think they have all been reasonable and to an extent expected in the sense of either suggesting your heart isn't in it or that you'd be mad not to at least give it a go.
The question I would ask is a little more fundamental - what do you actually want out of life? Or should I say what do you think you want out of life?
If all you want to do is fly, or that joining the military seems like a good idea to get your professional life going and flying isn't a bad option, then I think the points you make, many of which are valid, will soon come to dominate your professional existence and you could find yourself quite unhappy rather quickly.
Alternatively, if you aren't professionally motivated in the sense that chasing money and job titles isn't the be all and end all of working, and that you think you'd like to do something with your life that offers a sense of meaning and the ability to give back to society and your country - yes it's a slightly old fashioned view - and maybe even end up as a footnote in the history books, then your questions are still valid. But you will quickly come to see that they represent just a small part of the bigger picture and in the grand scheme of things are not insurmountable.
But which of these 2 avenues you really want to go down is only something you can decide. But for what it's worth, I see elements of my own thinking in your post. If you had asked me 20 years ago where I thought I would be, where I am now certainly wouldn't have been my answer. Like you I'm probably more academically minded than anything else. And I hate sitting in meetings and briefings and would much rather be achieving something than just talking about it. But they take up an increasing amount of my time as I progress up the ranks, but equally I can't deny the context of many of the meetings offers genuinely interesting insights into how Defence works. And socially I'm far happier having an intimate dinner with friends at home than I am getting hammered in the Mess although I did do a bit of that in my time on UAS as well as my first couple of tours, and the occasional dining in nights is a useful reminder about the pleasure of camaraderie. But what you need to appreciate is that we are a broad church and there is no single type that succeeds. It took me a while to work that out and when I had I became far happier in my own skin than trying to fit into some preconceived officer-shaped mould. And as one friend said to me a few months back over drinks, 'I know you get frustrated, but for as long as I've known you it really always has been about Queen and Country for you hasn't it?' . That surprised me as in many ways I'm the least military person I know, but it goes to show that we are all individuals and there is a space for us to contribute and succeed in our own ways.
All that we would ask is that you put in 100% effort into whatever you end up doing, you do the best you can and as an officer you look after those under you whilst trying to make the system that bit better. If you want a full career, your starting point will be just that, and fairly quickly you will find yourself going down avenues you didn't even know existed let alone were open; fancy being the Air Attache working in Amman for a few years? That job has just been advertised by my Deskie; bet they didn't mention those sorts of things in the Careers Office did they?
So back to you - what do you actually want from life? If it's a relatively predictable existence, money and job titles, then you may be happier elsewhere. If you have a sense of wanting to contribute back to society, there are far worse things than being paid to do it. I asked myself that very question lying in bed the night before I set off for IOT. You aren't the first and you won't be the last, so don't worry about having doubts, but it is your decision at the end of the day. We can only tell you so much about what it's like inside the wire.
Last edited by Melchett01; 21st Oct 2017 at 21:21.