aevu, your post was well written with a level of erudition rarely noted on PPRuNe these days.
Many of your concerns are entirely justified; decaying infrastructure as a result of the lack of adequate funding being just one. Location of ME bases isn't too bad - also the RAF now has an AT/AAR fleet consisting almost entirely of modern types. Mostly located at Brize Norton - which for the benefit of certain aged navigators is in Oxfordshire, not Wiltshire. Not a bad part of the world bordering the Cotswolds, but expensive. Waddington is pretty good too. Flying from either beats the heck out of commuting to some dismal office in a city, no matter how you dress that up. Every time I have to attend meetings in London I wonder how anyone can tolerate the misery of rail commuting.
You won't be obliged to spend the whole evening in a mess bar; however, unwinding from an IOT day with the rest of your course wouldn't be unusual. You will be part of a team for sure, but that doesn't mean that you cannot pursue individual interests as well.
Anyway, you've done well to get as far as you have. But at the end of the day the decision is yours and yours alone.